Poetic Justice

All Rights Reserved © 2004 by Margot Vesel Rising

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher.

iUniverse, Inc.

For information address:

iUniverse, Inc.

2021 Pine Lake Road, Suite 100

Lincoln, NE 68512

www.iuniverse.com

ISBN: 0-595-32734-6

ISBN: 978-0-5957-7540-8 (ebk)

Printed in the United States of America

Contents

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 14

Epilogue

Dedicated to my mother, the late Irmgard Stoffel, who wrote the poems which edgar wrote in this story.

CHAPTER 1

RYAN WAS LED into the living room of the little house and sat down where the white haired woman asked him to sit. He studied her for a moment. She had kind eyes, but there was a sadness he couldn’t miss and a puzzled look he couldn’t ignore. Vera Tucker was obviously confused about his visit, and with good reason. She had no idea who he was or why he was here. He smiled at the woman, a woman he probably would never have noticed if he’d met her on the street. He, however, noticed her now. He’d made a special effort to locate her and when he did, he drove a hundred miles to see her, to talk to her and learn more about the grandfather he hadn’t been allowed to see for so many years.

The only information he had managed to uncover was that she and his grandfather had once loved each other. Although it was many years ago, he wondered if there was still a connection between them. How he’d find out without upsetting the woman, he didn’t know, so he’d go slowly, cautiously and keep in mind that she was the one person who could tell him about the grandfather who was lying in a hospital, in a vegetative state.

He looked at the paper in his hand and read aloud.

"Nonsensical as it may seem, I lack a bit of self esteem,

Ambition burns within my soul, yet never to achieve my goal.

If someone were beside me now to tell me where and when and how!

The risks in unknown tasks I try and fear can make ambition die."

With a frown, he turned his head and glanced over at her unreadable expression before continuing.

"So deep within my soul must be a faith so strong that I can see

My dreams come true, ‘though dreams they are, reality seems not so far.

So let no human attitude of others in my dreams intrude.

My thoughts are mine to keep or share. God put those thoughts into my care."

Again he looked over at her, noticing the strength of character in her eyes.

"As eloquent as words must be to let success now come to me.

The fear of failure, always there, must be my downfall, my despair.

So TRUST in God must be the clue, not only faith to see us through.

For He has given from His heart, and now, it’s time I do my part."

Slowly and thoughtfully he nodded as if in agreement with her thought.

"We rarely ask and then receive without some effort, I believe,

That we ourselves must put aside our fear of failure, loss of pride.

So let no human on this earth reflect on me about my worth.

While trapped by judgment, I must see that only I can set me free."

There was silence in the room after he had read the words she had written many years ago. He had many questions, but couldn’t make himself ask them right now. It almost seemed like he would be intruding into her past, and he didn’t know if she’d object. Besides wanting to know about his grandfather, he also wanted to know about the woman who had captured his grandfather’s heart, the woman who wrote those words.

Vera was curious. She didn’t know if she was angry or thrilled that someone read her poems, poems that were personal but not so much so that she wouldn’t let others read them. Where did you get that?

I found it in my grandfather’s bible.

Her eyes opened wide with disbelief. Your grandfather’s bible? She had given her poems to only one man. Could his grandfather be Edgar? After all these years of not knowing where he was or what happened to him, would she finally learn that—that he had died? No! She touched her chest as if to stop the pain she felt. Was that why this young man was here? Her mind rushed from

one thought to another, from one possibility to another. Her heart was beating much too fast.

Yes. Edgar Hughes, he said. My name is Ryan Hughes.

Is he— she stopped, not able to say the words.

He’s very ill. His words were grave.

Vera sighed with relief. At least he was still alive. Where is he? What is wrong with him? How ill is he?

Ryan looked very solemn. The nurse said it’s similar to a coma. I understand that he had heart problems, but didn’t tell anyone.

She shook her head. But why are you here?

His eyes were warm with understanding. For many reasons. Mostly, I want to know about my grandfather. He saw the question in her eyes. I need to clarify that for you. You see, my father had forbidden me to see my grandfather many years ago. At first, he told me that my grandfather didn’t want to see me anymore. When I was older, in fact not long ago, he admitted that he was the one who objected. What the problem was, I have no idea. My father never told me. He looked down at the floor. My father died two weeks ago, and I found a letter from the hospital among his things saying that they weren’t able to reach him by phone. It explained that Grandfather was very ill, and didn’t seem to have the will to live. Dad was the only relative he had named in the hospital records at the time of his surgery.

Vera gasped as her hand flew to her mouth. Surgery? Whatever is wrong? The thought of extending her condolences completely left her mind.

It seems that he had triple bypass surgery almost a month ago, and never seemed to snap out of it. I just came from the hospital. I sat by his bed, but he was unresponsive and like a vegetable. They’re tube feeding him. They strap his limp body into a chair daily to prevent pneumonia, but his body just slumps over. Ryan’s eyes showed his sadness. He doesn’t know I’m there, or he doesn’t care.

But, she said frantically, can’t they do anything?

The nurse said that patients often respond to familiar voices, but I have no idea who his friends are. I wonder if he would have responded to Dad’s voice. He shrugged. We’ll never know.

I’m sorry, she said sympathetically. And he doesn’t respond to you?

Why would he? He doesn’t know me.

Just what is it you want with me, young man? she asked again.

I need to know how you feel about my grandfather, how he feels about you. I also want you to tell me all about him. I was very young when my father no longer allowed me to see him. I was too young to remember very much. He wasn’t in my life, so I know nothing about what kind of man he was, about his work, his interests. He shrugged and sighed. I know absolutely nothing about this man.

She was silent for a long time, mulling over in her mind what she should do. Finally, she spoke. Are you thinking that I should go to the hospital and talk to him?

I didn’t want to suggest it until I knew you were willing, provided you’re in good health enough to go with me.

I may be old, young man, but not I’m not dead yet.

He was hopeful. Are you saying that you’ll consider sitting by his bed and talking about your life together?

"We had no life together," she said bitterly.

But everything I’ve seen points to the fact that he loved you deeply.

She nodded. We loved each other very much, but my daughter-in-law refused to let me see my granddaughter if Edgar and I moved in together without marrying.

Ryan frowned. You’re not serious.

She nodded. Very serious. We would have been living in sin, you see. Her tone was sarcastic.

How old were you at the time?

She shrugged and watched him suspiciously. Sixty-something, she glanced at him just in time to see his curious expression, but don’t even ask.

His face turned beet-red. I wasn’t… If he were being honest, he’d admit that he wondered if older people had sex, but he should know better. He’d certainly read enough about it in magazine articles. He just didn’t like associating the act with people three times his age. He nodded and sighed. Even so, how could your daughter-in-law do such a thing to you?

Maybe she thought Sally would feel justified in doing anything her grandmother did. You know how impressionable youngsters are.

May I ask why you never married him?

It was purely financial. By the time we realized we were in love, your grandfather was about to retire, but having changed jobs, he had only a very small pension. As a married couple, my Social Security check would have been considerably less. We couldn’t live on that, but Lorna didn’t care. Sally was all that counted.

"And your son? Did he say nothing?"

She laughed bitterly. He knew better than to cross Lorna. She would punish him in some way if he didn’t agree with her. She smiled sadly. It’s strange how the ones you love choose the wrong people with whom to share their lives.

It seems that way sometimes, doesn’t it? He spoke certainly as if he were speaking from experience.

Vera was considering going with him, but she was stalling for time. She had long ago learned not to make a decision in haste. Rarely did it happen that something good came out of it if she didn’t weigh the consequences. You said there were several reasons you came to see me.

He nodded. Yes. I was, of course, hoping you would go with me to see Grandfather. I want you to tell me about his life and the kind of man he was then. He nodded toward the poem. I also wanted to meet the woman he loved, the woman who wrote the poem.

Vera shook her head, unable to understand why this young man wanted to meet her. Well, maybe he just wanted to meet the misfit who wrote the poem, the spineless woman who walked away from a life of hope and the promise for happiness to—to what? To merely exist? Certainly nothing more. A little defensive, she studied his expression, noticing for the first time his resemblance to Edgar. His hair was the same brown that Edgar’s had been before the gray started to show. His eyes were Edgar’s brown eyes that were so expressive, so warm and caring. Ryan’s nose was straight and his cheekbones were a little more pronounced, but Edgar had had a little more meat on his bones than his grandson. Ryan must be slightly over six feet tall, and like Edgar, he carried himself proudly. What could you possibly want to know about me?

He smiled. I wanted to meet the woman who thought so logically, who seemed to turn her life around. That’s an admirable trait.

In that case, you should have known me then. Her voice was sarcastic. She shook her head in shame. Believe me, there is nothing admirable about me.

Ryan studied her. Her features, although aged, were pleasant, her skin not as wrinkled as he would have expected. Her hair was almost pure white, and she wore it short and loose, but combed away from her face. Her eyes were very blue, kind eyes, eyes he’d expected on the woman his grandfather loved. I hope to hear why you think so, but right now, I need to remind you how ill my grandfather is. There may not be much time to reverse the self-destruction that seems to be taking place.

Vera gasped. Self-destruction? What makes you say that?

The doctor suggested it, and he’s known him a lot longer than anyone I could find. I looked through all his things, but I found no evidence that he had any close friends.

Vera shook her head sadly. I—I didn’t know. I assumed he had gone on with his life, perhaps even finding someone else. She looked into his eyes. No friends at all?

He shook his head. The fact remains that we may not have much time.

Of course. She started to get up, but settled back into the chair. Just where is it you want me to go? Where is Edgar?

He’s in the hospital in Granite City. Seeing her confusion, he explained. As its name implies, it is a city, but rather small as cities go, about a hundred miles from here.

Yes, I know where it is. He lived that close to me?

Obviously, he didn’t know where you were.

She was noticeably upset. So close and yet so far. I tried to find him, you know. Tears were threatening.

I didn’t know. To be quite honest, I know nothing about his life.

Surely you’ve spoken with him.

Ryan shook his head. By the time I saw the letter from the hospital, he’d already been in this coma for a week or so. He sighed. No, I have never spoken to the man, except for the time when I was a small child. Of course, I don’t remember that. You say you tried to find him?

We corresponded for a few years, but I had a heart attack and needed a quadruple bypass. I was in a drugged state for a very long time. They tell me that I almost died, but I don’t remember anything about it. I don’t know what happened, but months went by without my being aware of anything. The doctor said it was caused by a combination of things including the anesthetic they used. My mind simply wasn’t there. By the time I was able to resume even a few of my everyday tasks, I wrote to him, but the letter came back unopened, address unknown. Tears came into her eyes. I can’t tell you how lost I felt, how empty. She dried her tears. Never mind that. I will have my granddaughter drive me there if you will give me directions.

I will be happy to take you. I’m going back now, and there is plenty of room for both of us at his apartment, if you want to stay over. He looked at her with pleading eyes.

She looked at her watch. Sally will be stopping in anytime. I must see her before I leave. Do you think you can wait that long? It will take me a few minutes to change clothes and pack my things.

He nodded. Of course. He wanted to leave immediately, but he knew when he came that she probably wouldn’t jump up out of her chair ready to leave instantly. He had to curb his impatience. He should be happy she agreed to go with him.

Vera went into the bedroom to pack while Ryan looked around the orderly living room. Everything was spotless, almost like nobody lived here. She had a dark brown couch and chair with a coffee table that was shining as if it had just been polished. There was a large entertainment center dividing the living room from the dining area. It was nicely arranged with her TV, VCR, and tapes on one side. The other side held several shelves displaying pictures which looked as if they might be of her family.

He walked over to it and studied the family groups. He looked back at one snapshot of a couple who had to be Vera and his grandfather. His grandfather was a handsome man in his day. He regretted having obeyed his father’s order, continuing even after he reached manhood. Why didn’t he go to see him after he left for college? Was he so gullible that he’d blindly done as his father asked? He grunted. His dad hadn’t asked, he had demanded.

He heard the door open and looked back to see a young woman. Her long dark hair framed a delicate face with high cheekbones and beautiful dark chocolate brown eyes.

Wh-who are you? she asked with a trembling voice.

He could appreciate her curiosity, but did he detect a bit of fear? I’m visiting Vera—

Sally. Vera had just entered the room carrying her suitcase. Can you come and help me find my black shoes? She glanced at Ryan. Oh, this is Mr. Hughes. Ryan Hughes. Her eyes moved to Sally with pride. This is my granddaughter, Sally Tucker.

Sally nodded to him, but kept her eyes on Vera and her suitcase. What’s going on?

I’m going to Granite City with Ryan. A very dear friend is very ill.

"A very dear friend? Sally frowned as she tried to remember a very dear friend, if any friend at all from Granite City.

Vera lowered her head. I knew him many years ago.

Many years ago? Sally’s memory finally settled on the man that her mother had demanded her grandmother stop seeing. Was he the man her grandmother had loved? Was this the one Mom—

Vera cut her off and nodded. Yes.

Her reaction was much like Vera’s. Was he in Granite City all this time?

Ryan shook his head. Only for the past six months. Right now, he’s in the hospital. He’s very ill.

I’m so sorry. She had always felt responsible for her mother’s meddling. Of course, you should go. Do you want me to take you?

No, dear. You have your school. Ryan will take me, but I may be gone a few days. Please tell your father for me so he doesn’t worry.

But where will you be? How can we reach you? You know Dad isn’t going to like your going off like this.

Vera smiled. I know, but you tell him I’m perfectly all right. Her smile faded and her eyes told her she was serious. I have to do this, Sally.

Sally sighed. I know, but Friday is only two days away. Let me know where you are and I’ll come and stay with you for the weekend. She quickly added, Unless you don’t want me there.

"Don’t be silly. I just want you to know that I don’t need you with me. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

Sally, of course, remembered when Vera had a heart attack, and the many weeks she was in the hospital after her surgery. They almost lost her, and she didn’t want to be reminded of those horrible weeks of not knowing. Yes, she could take care of herself, but she could also overdo and get overtired, and that would not be good for her heart. She would hold her ground. Tell me where you’ll be, she said firmly, unwilling to budge.

Ryan admired the way Sally took charge. He took out a piece of paper and wrote on it before giving it to her. That’s the name of the hospital, and I added my grandfather’s address and phone number. That’s where we’ll be staying, and you’re welcome to stay there too on the weekend. His apartment has two bedrooms and a study with a couch that’s more than ample.

Thank you. She put the addresses in her purse.

Vera hugged Sally. Don’t worry, dear. I’ll be just fine.

But I wanted to talk to you.

I know, but we are in a bit of a hurry. She glanced at Ryan who nodded in agreement. If you insist on coming Saturday—

Friday, corrected Sally.

Friday. She nodded. I’ll answer all your questions then. Right now, I’m afraid I need answers of my own. She turned toward the door. Ryan had her suitcase and overnight case in his hand and extended his elbow for her to hold.

Sally took the overnight case from Ryan. I’ll walk you to the car. She was burning with curiosity, but she’d have to wait until Friday night. Only God

knew what she was going to tell her father. She hoped God would let her in on the answer, because she didn’t do well at lies or even half-truths.

Vera was settled in the front seat of the Lexus and Sally kissed her on the cheek before she closed the door for her. Don’t overdo, Gram.

Vera could see that Sally was worried, but she didn’t answer. She shook her head and smiled. Sally was a very loving, very caring young lady. Since she didn’t get that from her mother, it must be a Tucker trait. She opened her window. Drive carefully on Friday.

I always do, Gram.

Ryan had put her bags in the back seat and went to the driver’s door. Before getting in, he talked over the roof of the car. I’ll take good care of her. Besides, I imagine she’ll be at the hospital a good share of the time. If her health should fail, she couldn’t be closer to expert help.

I suppose not. Are you sure I won’t be intruding on Friday?

I’m positive. I’ll welcome the chance to get to know you. With that, he got in the car and started the engine.

Have a good trip, called Sally after them. She stood at the curb until they were out of sight. How she would have loved to be with them instead of having to face her father. She shrugged. What could he say?