Going Straight: An Ex-Convict/Psychologist Tells Why and How

All Rights Reserved © 2001 by Dr. Paul Karsten Fauteck

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Contents

Acknowledgments

A Note from the Author

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

A Final Word

"It can be done.

I know, because I’ve done it.

Easy? No.

Worth the effort?

Yes, many times over."

Paul Karsten Fauteck

In memory of Dr. Louis R. Fauteck, who loved me in spite of everything.

Acknowledgments

I particularly owe thanks to my wife Miriam, for her patience, proofreading, suggestions, computer expertise, and doing so much to make my life worthwhile.

Then there’s Marlene Goodman, a world-class cartoonist and good friend, who encouraged, offered some fresh ideas, and drew and drew and drew…

Thanks also to my friends Karen Drescher and Janet Ganoung, for their painstaking proofreading and many valuable suggestions.

And too numerous to name (even if I could remember all their names!) those good people who helped me get my head screwed on straight, sometimes with kind words, sometimes by example, sometimes by a well-deserved ass-chewing. That includes Associate Warden Gresham, who mentioned, as I was on my way to solitary confinement one more time , that for a smart man I sure did some stupid things!

A Note from the Author

This book is based mainly on my own experiences and observations because I believe that I can speak from a unique vantage point, having seen the criminal justice system inside-out, from the cold floor of a solitary cell to the witness stand providing expert opinions as a forensic psychologist. But I also acknowledge that the work of some outstanding forensic scientists has helped crystallize and organize my ideas, though it would be impossible to specify exactly who most influenced any one paragraph in this book. It will not, therefore, be referenced like a textbook, which would not appeal to the intended audience in any case.

I will just name a few of the authors-researchers-practitioners to whom I owe gratitude. Their work has been invaluable to me in organizing my ideas and has added to my understanding, and contributed to my competence as a forensic psychologist:

D.A. Andrews

Ronald Blackburn

James Bonta

Hervey Cleckley

Timothy Flanagan

John Irwin

David T. Lykken

J. Reid Meloy

Stanton Samenow

Hans Toch

Glenn D. Walters

Samuel Yochelson

This is certainly not a complete list, and no doubt I’ve omitted many who richly deserve recognition.

* * *

Before finishing the first draft of the first page of this work, I realized that I had to decide how to identify the typical person this is written for. Convicts or ex-convicts wouldn’t catch it because not all people who need to get straight have ever been sentenced to prison. Felons? Many people are trapped in criminal lives without ever being convicted of a felony. In fact, some haven’t even been convicted of misdemeanors. Offenders wouldn’t be right because many of them are not offending in terms of actually committing crimes, and ex-offenders also wouldn’t be fit because many are committing crimes.

The name I hit on was member of the offender population, by which I intend to include all those who have signed onto a criminal way of living, whether this does, has, or will involve actual criminal offenses or not. This name is cumbersome, so in each chapter I use it initially then switch to the acronym M.O.P. It’s OK with me if a lot of the readers have fun with that term, but I hope not too many are offended by it.

Now a disclaimer: I’ve used many illustrations, or case histories throughout this book. Not all of these are literally true. Some are composites of cases I’ve seen or know of, some are simply hypothetical, somewhat like parables, and a few are true stories with only enough changed to conceal identities. If the text says true story, it is. Everything I’ve told about myself is true, at least to the best of my recollection.

Of course, in telling of my own experiences, I haven’t included every detail in each case. Even decades later, writing about some of this is still painful. I’m trying to bare my soul as the expression goes, because I think my doing so may help some people pull themselves out of the rubble. But I still reserve the right to plead the Fifth Amendment!

Anyone who has worked with an offender population knows how frustrating it can be. Rebuilding a life, leaving criminal thinking behind, isn’t as easy as just deciding to go straight. Speaking specifically of the convict upon completion of his/her sentence, John Irwin sums up a major part of the problem eloquently:

The impact of release is often dramatic. After months of anticipation, planning, and dreaming, the felon leaves the confined, routinized, slow-paced setting of the prison and steps into the streets as an adult-citizen. The problems of the first weeks are usually staggering and sometimes insurmountable. Becoming accustomed to the outside world, coping with parole, finding a good job—perhaps finding any job—and getting started toward a gratifying lifestyle are at least difficult and for many impossible.

When released, the convict can be seen to be proceeding along a narrow and precarious route, beset with difficult obstacles. If the obstacles are too difficult, if satisfaction and fulfillment not forthcoming, and/or his commitment to straightening up his hand is too weak, he will be diverted from the straight path toward systematic deviance. He himself believes in the route’s precariousness. Many of the obstacles are, however, both very real and very difficult. (The Felon, 1970, Berkely, CA: University of California Press. Page 107)

The person who joins the offender population bears the responsibility of his or her own actions, and it’s up to that person to make the changes. It’s to the individual’s advantage as well as society’s when he or she becomes a productive and respectable citizen. I’d rather be here looking out the window of my office than sitting in some cell. But wouldn’t you rather have me here, paying my share of taxes every year, instead of costing you around $19,000 a year to keep me locked up?

Much of what we call criminal behavior is self-defeating, but so is a lot of how society responds to the criminal. To act as though any person who has ever had a number across the chest is forever less than human, to make every sentence a life sentence with that ex-convict or convicted felon stigma, to give that person a load of rocks to carry the rest of his or her days, is not only unfair; it is counter-productive and, yes, self-defeating.

I hope you’ll take advantage of any opportunity you may have to help change that.

Paul Karsten Fauteck, Psy.D.

Chapter One

Introduction

Who is this guy, anyway???

The Psy.D. after my name means Doctor of Psychology. I am a licensed clinical psychologist in the State of Illinois, license number 071-4435-IL, if you’re skeptical and want to check for yourself! I work mostly as a forensic psychologist. Because of all the detective shows on television, most people think forensic means examining dead bodies or, more often, bits and pieces of dead bodies.

So when I say I’m a forensic psychologist, some wise-guy will usually ask Oh, do you show ink blots to dead people? I usually answer No, I show the ink blots to the people who killed them. You see, for the last 13 years I’ve worked in the largest criminal court system in the world, mostly examining defendants in criminal cases, to find out if they are mentally fit to stand trial, if they were competent to waive their Miranda rights at the time of their questioning, and if they were legally sane or insane at the time of the alleged offense. The people I’ve examined and testified about have included those addicted to drugs and alcohol, who’ve suffered serious brain injury, are retarded, are seriously mentally ill, as well as many who have no serious mental problem of any kind. Crimes they’ve been charged with have ranged from shoplifting and disorderly conduct to multiple murders.

By the time this gets in your hands, I’ll probably have retired from that position, will be working only part time, and hopefully doing my part in rehabilitation efforts. Maybe you and I will even meet face-to-face.

In my work I don’t judge guilt or innocence; that’s up to the judge or jury. And because I work for the court system, I may come up with an opinion that favors the defense, or the prosecution, and either side can call me into court to testify. I’m paid a salary, so I don’t make a nickel more or less if I give one opinion instead of the other. As a scientist, my job is to find the truth as best I can, and report it honestly.

Truth is, though, most of the time if I give an opinion that favors the defense, the prosecution is irritated and thinks I must be a real dummy, and if I give an opinion that favors the prosecution, the defense is angry with me and thinks I’m a hopeless idiot. If I go to court to testify, the other side will usually try to rip me apart. All of this is OK, because there was a time in my life when everybody thought I was a dummy, and when I stood in a courtroom, it was two or five or ten years of my life that were at stake. More about that in a minute.

In 1987 I applied for a presidential pardon. (My felony convictions were all federal.) After a long and thorough investigation, the pardon was granted at the end of 1992. Only a fraction of presidential pardon requests are successful because it’s not enough to simply stop getting arrested. The F.B.I. looks into credit records, tax returns, family life, work history, relationships with neighbors…the kind of stuff they’d investigate about someone applying for a federal security clearance. A lawyer friend commented that the pardon is something like a letter from the president stating that someone is a sterling citizen.

To get the Psy.D. degree, I had to have ninety semester hours of graduate study. That means about thirty semester-long courses beyond a four-year college education. The institution that granted my degree was The Chicago School of Professional Psychology, where I never received a grade lower than A-minus. Other requirements included therapy and diagnostic practicums and a 2,000-hour internship, plus a dissertation, which could be based on a case study or on original research, as mine was. The internship was served in the Department of Psychiatry of Cermak Health Services, inside Cook County Jail. Somewhere along the way I was named to Who’s Who Among Students in American Colleges and Universities. I graduated with honors. I guess it’s OK to say that I’ve proven I know a few things!

At the risk of sounding conceited, I’d like to mention also that I’m married and have a pretty good family life, with wonderful kids and grand-kids, I own my home and a plot of woods and a cottage in the country, my credit rating is excellent, and I’ve been active in a number of professional organizations and was president of one. In addition to my work for the court system, I have a small private psychotherapy practice, specializing mostly in hypnotherapy.

But, looking back…

In 1959, I walked out of a federal correctional institution with $20.00 and a GED. I had spent my 21st, 22nd, 23rd, and 24th birthdays behind bars. I’d been on probation twice, and had also served a couple of months at hard labor on a city prison farm for carrying a gun. I had been arrested for taking stolen cars across state lines, burglary, forgery, and smuggling a foreign citizen into the U.S. In the slammer, I’d been to solitary for making a knife, smuggling mail out of the institution, being in possession of real currency, forging caseworkers’ signatures, having a personal photograph made, stealing magazines mailed to security officers, and being on another tier without authorization. That last one was mostly a bum rap, but the truth is, I had given the officer plenty of reason to be after me.

Now, I wasn’t a big-time crook by any means, and my criminal career only lasted about nine years. But from what I’ve told you, you know that I wasn’t that good kid who just made one mistake that people talk about, and I wasn’t a model prisoner. I did establish a criminal lifestyle. I was alienated from mainstream society. I saw the criminal justice system from the wrong side, and identified with other people who were regularly in trouble with the law.

I’ve carried that ex-con label for the last four decades, also. From personal experience I know that going straight isn’t as simple as most people think it should be. Just stop stealing! sounds easy. Or just stop using drugs, or abusing other people… You name it. It sounds easy. Just don’t do it. I know it’s not that easy.

On the other hand, I know it can be done, and I know it’s worthwhile. Even the best times I had during my criminal career were lousy compared to my present life. No, I don’t have all the answers, but in general terms, I think I know how it can be done. That is, how a man or woman can get out of the shadows and into the sunshine, stop racking up arrests and sentences, live at peace with society, and feel good about himself or herself and about the rest of the world.

But I also know what the stakes are. Is my present life perfect? No, but it’s good, and I consider myself happy. What’s more, I know other people who also had settled into a criminal lifestyle at one time, who are now successful and happy non-criminals. Some of those are people who have never made a great deal of money and work hard just to get along, and yet consider themselves lucky to have found a truly free life.

This isn’t about religion, although for many people religion is important. It is about common sense, about being realistic about probation and parole, prison, courts, and police, about applying some basic psychological principles. It’s about understanding people who don’t live at peace with the world, instead of just preaching at them.

If you, the reader, are one of those people who don’t live at peace with the world, and if I were talking to you in person, I’d quickly explain a couple of things. Just like I don’t have a religious creed to recommend, I also don’t have a magic pill that would change your life. But since I’m a little bit of a showman, I might say that I do have a marvelous invention that can help put you in control of your life, that can help you become a winner instead of a loser. I’d reach in my briefcase, and say and here it is! Then I’d hand you a mirror.

So, why this book?

There’s always the chance of making a profit from writing these pages, but a steamy novel would probably be a bigger seller. And, I could be using this time to build my private practice. But as I said before, I may have some ideas, some answers, that could be valuable to people who need to do some serious re-thinking. If my words help even a few people get out of that whirlpool of marginal living, crime, police and courts, and prison, it’s worth the effort.

After all, during that nine years of craziness, I took a lot from society. I cost the taxpayers a lot of money. I hurt people who didn’t deserve to be hurt, and many of them were people who trusted me. Some of those who knew me became more cynical because of me. I gave some ammunition to those people who say They’re all hopeless—just lock ‘em up and throw away the key! So it’s only fair that I try to give something back to society, beyond doing my job, taking care of my family, paying my taxes, and making regular contributions to charity.

I’m not the only ex-convict/psychologist in the nation, but there are darn few of us. There are fewer still ex-convict/psychologists who specialize in forensic work: examining, testing, testifying about, criminal defendants. So my views have a fairly broad base.

On the other hand, I think any ex-convict who has truly made it is likely to have some good advice to share. They’re not the majority, but there are still thousands who do get straight and stay straight. With a few exceptions, it’s rare for them to be involved in rehabilitation work, however. There are two main reasons: First, former offenders who have made it usually want to keep their past lives a secret, and they have good reasons, and second, people like wardens and prison psychologists are often suspicious of ex-cons who say they want to help, and they also have good reasons.

As for me, coming out of the closet about my criminal past can’t cost me much. Most of my private practice patients already knew, and they also know I’m not about to become an ax murderer or steal their wallets. My family knows, and has for a long time. At my job in the court system my immediate supervisor knew before he hired me. When I received a presidential pardon, others I work with found out about my past. The majority didn’t see it as a big deal, and I had too much seniority for the rest to hurt me in any way.

There’s always the possibility of it coming up in court when I’m testifying as an expert witness. I’m sure most of the judges I testify before have heard it by now, but I have a reputation for being thorough and honest in my work, so my opinion is respected. Maybe someday the other side will try to make it an issue and say something like Your honor, Dr. Fauteck was a serious law breaker 43 years ago, so how can we believe what he says about this inkblot test? I think the judge would ask me a couple of questions, shrug his or her shoulders, and go on with the trial.

So to sum it up…

I’ve seen the criminal justice system from both sides;

I know what it’s like to live behind bars, and when not behind bars, to constantly look over my shoulder;

I also know what a decent, mainstream life is like;

As an experienced psychologist, I understand human behavior, emotions, and decision making;

I’ve proven that a major turnaround in life is possible;

I’m in a good position to lay it on the line, that is, I don’t have much to fear from admitting my criminal past publicly.

You’ve probably heard that word recidivism a lot of times. Basically, it means people getting out of prison or off of probation, and getting themselves in trouble again within a few years, maybe within a few months. Recidivism among ex-cons is as commonplace as mosquitoes in a swamp. This hurts them, of course, but it also hurts the rest of society.

I often hear criminal defendants complaining about public services that aren’t available: day care, job training, better alcohol and drug rehabilitation, affordable low-income housing, etc. Their point is that society neglecting these needs causes crime. I can’t entirely agree with that opinion, although I have to admit that better social services would help. But look at it from the other direction: There’s only so much public money available. People who commit crimes use up a lot of that money. It goes into costs of law enforcement, court systems, and prisons. The criminal who doesn’t get caught also costs society in a number of ways, such as higher insurance premiums, medical expenses and time lost from work for victims of violent crime, long-term mental health care and decreased earning power in victims of sex crimes, and so on. Industries are closing down in high-crime areas, putting more people on welfare. Tax dollars are being soaked up supporting children of people who make them and then ignore them. On a personal level, my car would have cost me about $500 less if I didn’t need an expensive alarm system.

So maybe my purpose in writing this book is also a little selfish: Some of those tax dollars are mine. If this helps a few people get straight and stay straight, there will be a little more tax money for the services mentioned above, but also for parks and beaches, public highways, and other programs that affect me more directly.

But my greater concern is more human than economic. I think of the despair of someone who’s surprised to be looking at the world through bars again in spite of such good intentions earlier; the pain and loneliness of those who see parents or spouses only on visiting day; the frustration and anger of police officers and judges who think they’re fighting a losing battle.

Well, you’ve heard that saying: It’s better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness. This book is my own small candle.

Chapter Two

Who am I Talking to?

If you’ve read all the pages before this one, you probably know who the primary intended reader is: the man, woman, boy, or girl who has joined that part of society that psychologists call the offender population. That is who I am mostly talking to, members of the offender population (M.O.P.s) but in a minute I’ll name some others who are cordially invited to listen in.

How do you know if you’re in that offender population, according to my definition? Here are a few of the earmarks:

If you’re in prison, almost certainly, and definitely if this is not your first time;

If most of your friends have criminal records;

If the police have been called to your home more than once for something you did;

If you know that you’ve committed crimes for which you haven’t been caught, and you live in some fear of being found out;

If you often do stuff you wouldn’t want anyone to know about;

If you usually solve money problems by making up a sad tale to get help from others;

If stealing from employers, cheating on insurance claims and the like have become common actions in your life.

There are many other signs I could list, but this should give you a general overview. And if any one of these or a similar description applies to you, then you’re almost certainly a M.O.P.!

OK, let me admit that there are some exceptions. For every real exception, though, there are probably a hundred people who think they are an exception!

In my own prison time, and in my work in the court system, I’ve known some people who really, honestly, fell into that good kid who made one mistake category, but they were behind bars anyway. In one of the institutions where I was incarcerated, there were a number of Korean War veterans who had run away during a battle and were serving time for it. No nation on earth would excuse that kind of action, but it’s not fair to call them M.O.P.s. There are also people who have gotten themselves arrested many times for good causes: civil rights activists, for example.

If you’re in the offender population, there’s a good chance you’ve promised yourself and others to get out of it, but then found yourself back at square one again, a little older but no wiser, maybe with people even more disgusted with you than before. I believe if you can keep an open mind to what I have to tell you, it’s very likely you’ll make that promise, or make it again if you’ve already been on that merry-go-round, mean it, and keep it. After all, I did, and after forty-plus years out of the joint without a single arrest, you know I must have done some things right.

Who else should read this ?

Although I’m talking to that offender population, there are some others I welcome to listen in. If you’re a parent, spouse, or child of a M.O.P.,

please read along. You may learn what an uphill battle the offender faces, learn how to provide the right kind of encouragement, and perhaps to stop being sucked into excuses, con-games, and self-pity. Perhaps you’re someone who works with offenders, say, a probation officer, or maybe a correctional psychologist or social worker, or caseworker at a halfway house. You may not like everything I say, but I believe it can help you help others. This is especially true if you’re in one of these two groups:

1. Burnt out, cynical, and angry at the world because your good intentions have so often been used against you;

2. New and/or naive, full of warmth and forgiveness, convinced that no one really wants to be a criminal so it must be society’s fault, but you can’t understand why most others don’t see it that way.

If you’re too young to be a real criminal, haven’t racked up a conviction yet, but people who should know say you’re headed for serious trouble, please join in also. Of course, lots of parents tell their teenage children that they’re headed for hell just because they’re angry with them, and kids and parents frequently disagree over rules. If that’s your situation, maybe you’ll be able to show those adults Hey, look, this is what a criminal is like, and that’s not me! But if most young people your age would say you go over the edge, if you’ve got a bad reputation in your neighborhood, if you’ve decided school isn’t for you and work is too much trouble, please read. Maybe you’ll say to yourself Well, this sounds like the way I think, so even if I haven’t been in any big trouble yet, I’d better start thinking about what kind of life I want for myself.

I also invite to read along all those people who believe criminals are hopeless, that we just need to build bigger prisons and keep people there longer, and that rehabilitation is a waste of time. It should be easy for you to see that the messages in this book are going to hit some members of that offender population in the right way, and that society would gain from building rehabilitation programs around these principles. Maybe you’ll even decide to send a copy to your congressman or state legislator.

But back to the prime target, Mr. or Ms. Troublemaker: This is especially for you. Some of it may make you smile, but it’s not entertainment. The purpose is not to give you a few pleasant hours of reading. The purpose is to give you a better life! Isn’t that worth reading with attention and interest, even if some of these words make you squirm? I think you’re worth that kind of effort, and hope you agree!

Chapter Three

What You Need to Understand

The goal is a little broader than just going straight. It’s making a decision to be straight and stay that way. Instead of just staying out of jail, it means living at peace with yourself and the world, being able to feel contentment, satisfaction, and love. It means accepting some realities you may not like. It means not living up to people’s worst expectations of you. It means knowing how to recognize and avoid the pitfalls. It certainly means knowing yourself.

What we’re talking about is really being a different kind of person. One of the good guys. The kind the world could use more of.

You’ve probably heard people say something like I gotta be me or You can’t help being who you are. Fine, if it means to be genuine instead of phony, if it means being honest with yourself instead of bullshitting yourself, which you probably do really well. But it’s not fine to use being yourself to avoid changes you can and should make. Maybe it’s easier to say Well, The Almighty made me this way, so what can I do? or I take after my uncle George, and he was always trouble. Or The way I was treated as a kid keeps me from being any other way. But it’s self-defeating, and it’s not true.

I’ll agree that not everyone can get a Ph.D. in physics, or play basketball like Michael Jordan. You can’t change your sex, even if you can pretend to with a lot of surgery and hormones. You can’t change your race, although no one seems to have told Michael Jackson this! But the vast majority of what makes you who you are is a matter of choice. If you can accept this as a basic truth about your existence, we’re already getting somewhere.

The meaning of choice

You know that you choose what to eat for breakfast or what color of socks to buy. That is, as long as you’re living in the free world you make these choices. What you probably overlook are the dozens of choices you make every day. Many of these are choices we don’t even think much about. When I’m driving somewhere and come to a junction, I may study a map and be very aware that I’m choosing which route to go. I may not be aware of making a free-will choice when I kick the covers off and get up in time to go to work, when I stop at a red light, when I say excuse me, when I take a deep breath and speak calmly when I’m angry, when I treat a woman as a fellow human being and not a sex organ with a person inconveniently attached.

Here are a few examples of the choices you may make without thinking, any one of which can affect the rest of your life:

Do you keep looking for a job when you’ve filled out ten applications this week and the weather today is miserable?

When a child cries for a long time, disobeys, doesn’t do chores or homework, do you go into a rage and maybe put its life in danger?

If your boss gives you a chewing out, do you tell him or her to go to hell, that nobody can talk to you like that?

Suppose you find out your spouse or romantic partner is attracted to someone else: Do you deal with your hurt like an adult?

When there are problems in an important relationship, do you try to