A Diary of Healing: My Intense and Meaningful Life with Cancer

Copyright © 2013 Mary Ann Wasil.

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Photos by Brad Stanton, bradstantonphoto.com

Photos by Lisa DeTullio Russell, lisaderussell.com

Childhood photos by Edward A. Wasil, Sr.

ISBN: 978-1-4525-3319-3 (e)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-3318-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-3320-9 (hc)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013903128

Balboa Press rev. date: 3/18/2013

Table of Contents

Foreword

Preface

Chapter 1    Discovery

Chapter 2    Diagnosis

Chapter 3    Ribbons and Pigtails

Chapter 4    A Very Happy Birthday

Chapter 5    Detours

Chapter 6    One-Take Mary Ann

Chapter 7    Matters of the Heart

Chapter 8    Always an Adventure

Chapter 9    D-cisions, D-cisions

Chapter 10  For the Lady in Pink

Chapter 11  Going-Away Party

Chapter 12  Décolletage

Chapter 13  That Voice

Chapter 14  This Ain’t the End

Chapter 15  Dark Night of the Soul

Chapter 16  The Arrival of Spring

Chapter 17  Barbie Basics

Chapter 18  Daisies

Chapter 18 ½  Huh?

This book, like my heart, belongs to the loves of my life…

…my children, Betsy, Mary and Eddy.

This is OUR story.

We can’t change it, so we cherish it…

…for as long as we’ve got.

Acknowledgements

I think it was easier to write the book than it will be to remember to thank all of those that have made the tumble down this rabbit hole so utterly delightful!

My publisher insists that I try.

Here goes.

Thank you to Maria Shriver and Jan Miller, for the opportunity you made available at the Women’s Conference that allowed me to present my story and my writing to you – you made this book possible, I am grateful for your confidence and support.

Thank you to Sandy Powell at Balboa Press, and my darling friend and publisher, Alan Bower, who guided and cheered me every step of the way during the writing phase of my book, consistent in his praise and tears of joy.

Thank you to my old friend Brad Stanton, who has been photographing me professionally since I was 15 years old, and to Lisa DeTullio Russell, who since we were kids has always had a camera in her hand and in my face!

Thank you to Christopher Capozziello for the beautiful photos you took of me when I was feeling quite the opposite, and to Greenwich Hospital for the access it gave us.

Thank you doesn’t seem adequate enough when it comes to my First String Healing Team, Dr.’s Barbara Ward, Andrea Silber, Arnold DoRosario, Joyce Chung, Mamata Bharucha, and my beloved friend, the late Ian Rubins. I trust them with my life.

Thank you to the strongest women I’ve ever known, the women I sit with for treatment at Saint Raphael’s Fr. Michael McGivney Center for Cancer Care in New Haven, CT. We hold each other up.

Thank you to my chemo nurses, June and Fran, special women especially suited for this most unique ministry.

Thank you to my posse of warrior women, my friends, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Rosa DeLauro, and Nancy Wyman - making the world a better place for me and for my daughters.

Thank you to my holy trinity of survivor sisters: Betty Lee, the Pink Lady of Charlottesville, for adopting me and my children and making our lives sweeter and pinker; Shirley Klinghoffer, whose art and friendship have enriched my life since that serendipitous day we sat next to each other on a flight from New Mexico to New York; and Angelique L’Amour Pitney, my California cowgirl, who found me in the middle of her own dark night of the soul and has emerged victorious and shining brightly to light the way for others.

Thank you to my fellow Pink Power Moms and my dear friends at Kids II for their marvelous and most extraordinary support…

I can’t wait to tell those stories in my next book!

Thank you to my darling and selfless girls, McLane and Taylor Ritzel, who very recently lost their beloved mother Lana to breast cancer, and have been an endless source of love and compassion for me and for my own children.

Thank you to the gals that have loved and supported me, in good times and in bad…I’ll list them alphabetically because if I had to do it in order of importance, they’d all share the same line…Andrea F., Andrea T., Anna, Carrie, Christina, Claudine, Dale, Donna, Eileen, Frances, Ingrid, Jeanine, Julie, Karen F.C., Katie, Kelly, Kitt, Kristen, Kristina, Lorrie, Mimi, Nancy G., Nancy V., Pat, Peg, Sarah, Susan C.D., Susan P., Suzanne, Trish and Zinelle.

I must, however, give a special shout-out to my lifelong childhood friend, Jody Ramik Cleveland, who after my first surgery in 2004 taught my children how to do their own laundry. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

I’m fortunate enough to still have friends in my life that I went to grammar school and high school with, and want to thank my schoolmates from Saint Joseph High School in Trumbull, CT, as well as my childhood friends from Holy Name of Jesus School in Stratford, CT - they’ve known me nearly all my life and they cheer me on from near and far.

Thank you to my pals at Aetna, Tom, Lynn, Gary, Bill, Mike, John, Sue B., Reggie, and Sue P. You have always made me feel very normal in the midst of some of the most abnormal days of my life!

Thank you to School Nurses Joan Cagginello and Marsha Schultz, who believed in me and in the concept of The Get In Touch Foundation from Day One. Thank you to School Nurses everywhere, particularly the National Association of School Nurses, who have supported and encouraged my work with Get In Touch. You make our mission a movement and I am forever grateful.

Thank you to the past and current board of directors and advisory board of The Get In Touch Foundation, your contribution has been invaluable, as has been each of our donors’ generous and loving support of our mission.

Thank you to Norm DeTullio, my high school Creative Writing teacher, for teaching me how to write – to paint with words, colorful, descriptive, and conversational. We all have a favorite teacher and Norm is mine.

I am grateful beyond measure to Saint Thomas More, the Catholic Chapel at Yale, my family’s community of faith. I am grateful to my dear friend, Father Bob Beloin, who has prayed for me, prayed with me, anointed me, encouraged me, and most incredibly, gave me access to two magical overnights in my beloved Thomas E. Golden, Jr. Catholic Center, where I was able to write this book, in its entirety.

The perfect segue, really, to thank, albeit, posthumously, Tom Golden. Tom and I became close in the last year of his life, and we shared deep conversations one can only have with another whose life is equally intense and meaningful. His gift of the Golden Center to Saint Thomas More and Catholic life at Yale University is one I thanked him for as often as I could. Just days before he left this world for heaven, I read him the final chapter of this book, where I speak of him and our unique relationship. He enjoyed it, immensely. And now he’d say, that’s quite enough, get on with the rest of it, will you.

Thank you to my soul-sister, Kerry Robinson, who accompanies me to each treatment with coffee in hand, and who fortified me on my writing overnights with strong, black coffee, chocolate and gerbera daisies, listening to each chapter intently, as if she could not wait to hear how the story would unfold.

Thank you to my sister, Diane, or as I call her, Bibi, for being by my side every step of the way…not just since cancer, but since May 7, 1964, the day I was born, and my seven year old sister became my best friend. She is the captain of my healing team, not only explaining the plays the coaches call, but she’s right there in the game with me, playing as if her own life depended on it.

I am blessed with a big family, and although my dad is no longer alive to cheer me on, my mother, my two sisters and three brothers are, along with nieces and nephews and cousins whose love and support I am grateful for.

Thank you to my nephews Matthew and his big brother Joey, my hero, who survived cancer when he was barely five years old. Joey and Matthew put family first, and they are fierce about it. I adore them.

Thank you to my dearest friend, strongest ally, and cherished spiritual advisor, Tom Ptaszynski. We finish each other’s sentences, eat off of each other’s plates, we are, as my daughter says, practically family. He is one of my life’s greatest and most cherished gifts.

And finally, thank you to the loves of my life, Betsy, Mary, and Eddy. They have taught me how to live, really live, with cancer. Because it’s not the cancer that rules the day, it’s how you choose to live with it. We choose joy. In fact, joy has chosen us!

Foreword

One woman, two breasts, eight chemotherapy treatments, nine surgeries, one stroke, fifty-five physical therapy visits, two silicone implants, double nipple reconstruction, $4,000 tattoos, and hundreds of Krispy Kreme donuts later, Mary Ann Wasil is here to graciously share her life-changing journey as she continues to kick breast cancer’s ass!

At thirty-nine years of age, Mary Ann already had a positive outlook on life, a strong relationship with God, and had created a nurturing home for her three young children. In February 2004 she noticed a lump in her breast and took the normal precautions by visiting a radiologist and having a mammogram and ultrasound. The doctor felt there was nothing to worry about, but Mary Ann listened to her gut and insisted on additional testing. Just a few days later, Mary Ann was diagnosed with breast cancer.

She had every opportunity to crumble, look at life as though it was bound to end, and succumb to her disease. However, Mary Ann did just the opposite.

She insisted on wearing stilettos to each chemotherapy treatment and brought warm Krispy Kreme donuts and pink gerbera daisies for her doctor and the other women waiting for treatments and check-ups. Mary Ann refused pity or tears from her loved ones, choosing instead to turn weakness into strength, even prepping her children to respond to questions about her health by smiling and responding, our mom is great, she’s kicking breast cancer’s ass!

Surrounded by an immense support group of family and devoted close friends, Mary Ann was able to get through a series of unfortunate events that followed her diagnosis, including a stroke and heart surgery, as well as the subsequent bi-lateral mastectomy and reconstructive surgeries.

Mary Ann Wasil’s resume is colorful and varied - breast cancer survivor, former police officer, and actress (having had a small role on the on the soap opera All My Chidren for many years) but her current role is one that suits her best. Mary Ann has made it her mission to educate girls on the importance of breast health, and shares her courageous story with women across the globe. An outstanding speaker and health activist, Mary Ann founded a non-profit organization, The Get In Touch Foundation, which educates girls on the importance of breast-self examinations. This program has been implemented in all 50 states, and more than 20 countries. In 2010, she had the honor of speaking to thousands of inspired women at Maria Shriver’s nationally acclaimed Women’s Conference in California.

Mary Ann looks back on her emotional journey and a life filled with curveballs in a positive and sometimes comical light, proving the strength of faith and love in life threatening situations.

A Diary of Healing is the extremely personal account of Mary Ann Wasil’s journey with breast cancer, and delivers a message of sincere hope and courage. Page after page, Mary Ann keeps you intrigued with each life changing event that she faces. By mixing her light hearted comedy with the terrifying experience of being a cancer patient, Mary Ann is an inspiration to all women who are afraid to conquer even the smallest obstacles in life. In her extremely emotional yet endlessly positive take on her journey, Mary Ann tests the true strength of her faith in her fight against breast cancer. Her optimism, devotion to God and pure love for her family proves that courage alone has the power to overcome what some may deem impossible. Mary Ann Wasil’s A Diary of Healing conveys valuable lessons that can be used to inspire every type of woman in their everyday life.

- Jan Miller,

literary agent, owner of DMA, Dupree Miller & Associates,

global literary agency and brand influencer

Preface

Timeline

On February 4th, 2004, I found a lump on my left breast.

On February 5th, I had a negative mammogram and an ultrasound.

On February 6th, the radiologist told me not to worry—my age and family history meant it was probably nothing. Let’s watch it for a year.

On