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    Victory over Violence: Nancy's Story and the Business of Me
    Victory over Violence: Nancy's Story and the Business of Me
    Victory over Violence: Nancy's Story and the Business of Me
    Ebook75 pages1 hour

    Victory over Violence: Nancy's Story and the Business of Me

    By Nancy Salamone

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    About this ebook

    Im Nancy, and I am going to tell you a story.

    For twenty years, I kept a secret from my family and coworkers. The secret was that I lived two lives. One, a successful corporate executive and the other, a behind closed doors battered wife.

    Im a survivor of domestic violence. I was physically, emotionally, and economically abused by my husband.

    My coping mechanism was a fantasy world that I created, one where life was good.

    One of my favorite fantasies was that my husband was dead. Being a widow would be a wonderful thing, because it was acceptable to be a widow but not acceptable to be a divorced woman.

    I kept my secret for twenty years, because I was ashamed.

    Then, on December 28, 1991, I left.

    I no longer know the Nancy who left, but I will always be grateful to that person inside me who finally summoned the courage to leave so that I could move on and thrive.

    My hope is that women who have endured their own struggles find something from my story and realize that they too can create the financially self-sufficient life that they choose and achieve their own Victory over Violence.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAuthorHouse
    Release dateJul 19, 2010
    ISBN9781452025094
    Victory over Violence: Nancy's Story and the Business of Me
    Author

    Nancy Salamone

    Nancy Salamones career and personal accomplishments are vast and varied. For more than three decades Nancy has shown extraordinary leadership during her business career and through her personal endeavors. Her accomplishments include 25 years as an executive for major Wall Street financial services companies, her devotion to giving back through her non-profit work, her teaching and her visionary creation of The Business of Me, a curriculum that teaches financial self-sufficiency to women. Nancy has served extensively on several non-profit boards and has received numerous awards and recognitions. Nancy has spoken and instructed extensively on subjects ranging from Domestic Violence, Financial Literacy and Self-Sufficiency and general issues of interest to women. She has been featured widely in the press on radio, in magazines, and on television. Nancys has traveled throughout North America, Asia, Europe, Latin America and the Caribbean and has worked extensively in China and Vietnam. She is a team-builder who uses her skills to develop systems and methods for efficiency and success. She brings vision to reality to her work in all kinds of situations and has specific expertise in cross-cultural environments. In addition to her other accomplishments Nancy has sailed extensively throughout the Caribbean and along the Atlantic Coast from Nova Scotia to Massachusetts. Nancy is a dynamic speaker who is available for engagements across the country. She will speak to your organization in her vibrant, enthusiastic and compelling style at your special event or at any other venue where people are interested in the problem of Domestic Violence and how women can be helped by first recognizing their fear of money and then teaching them real-world personal money management skills. If you'reinterested in booking Nancy to come speak at your event or want to book The Business of Me for your organization, please email Nancy at nancy@thebusinessofme.com.

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      Book preview

      Victory over Violence - Nancy Salamone

      Dedication

      This book is dedicated to all women who have endured domestic violence; my mom, who I love very much; and to Dede Bartlett and Carole Hyatt, who have not only opened their networks but their hearts to help and mentor me.

      And to M.B., who held my hand, gave me courage, wiped away my tears, and made me smile.

      Contents

      Dedication

      Nancy’s Story

      The Honeymoon Is Over

      My Early Years

      My Middle Years

      My Marriage

      Leaving

      Coming Out of the Cave

      and into the Light

      The Business of Me

      The Business of Me Today

      Afterword

      Acknowledgments

      Nancy’s Story

      When things are tough,

      just remember,

      every flower that ever bloomed

      had to go through a whole lot of dirt to get there!

      … Anonymous

      Nancy’s Story

      I’m Nancy, and I am going to tell you a story.

      For twenty years, I kept a secret from my family and coworkers. The secret was that I lived two lives. One, a successful corporate executive and the other, a behind closed doors battered wife.

      I’m a survivor of domestic violence. I was physically, emotionally, and economically abused by my husband.

      My coping mechanism was a fantasy world that I created, one where life was good.

      One of my favorite fantasies was that my husband was dead. Being a widow would be a wonderful thing, because it was acceptable to be a widow but not acceptable to be a divorced woman.

      I kept my secret for twenty years, because I was ashamed.

      Then, on December 28, 1991, I left.

      I no longer know the Nancy who left, but I will always be grateful to that person inside me who finally summoned the courage to leave so that I could move on and thrive.

      My hope is that women who have endured their own struggles find something from my story and realize that they too can create the financially self-sufficient life that they choose and achieve their own Victory over Violence.

      The Honeymoon Is Over

      The Honeymoon Is Over

      You may trod me

      In the very dirt

      But still,

      Like dust,

      I’ll rise

      … Maya Angelou

      It was the very day we got home from our honeymoon. There I was, lying on the bathroom floor, naked and bleeding. He didn’t like the way I hung the towels in the bathroom. When he was done, I had been beaten and sodomized and he was telling me that, Women like anal sex, and asking what was the matter with me.

      I was nineteen. That was the beginning of my marriage. The abuse—physical, sexual, emotional, and economic—would continue for twenty years.

      My Early Years

      What we remember from childhood we remember forever—permanent ghosts, stamped, inked, imprinted, eternally seen.

      … Cynthia Ozick,

      American short-story writer, novelist, and essayist

      How I Got There

      I was born, the oldest of three girls, into a Sicilian, Roman Catholic family in the Bronx, New York.

      My mother’s family lived not far from us, and since she was one of ten children, I had a large group of aunts, uncles, and cousins.

      I was told from a very young age that children should be seen and not heard. And I listened.

      I was not a loud or rambunctious child. If someone told me to sit, I sat—quietly. My favorite places to sit were corners. To this day, I still prefer the corner of a couch.

      My family was so large that you had to yell to be heard. But I was not a yeller, so I never said very much. The yelling was not always done from anger; many times, it was because it was the only way to be heard above the roar. Yelling was a way of life in my family.

      A Four-Year-Old with Migraines

      As a small child, I suffered from migraines. I would have tremendous head pain and could not move my head or open my eyes.

      My mom took to me a lot of doctors, and I even had my head x-rayed. It was a strange thing to be so small and to lie on a table with a huge machine moving above my head.

      It was finally decided that I was a nervous child, and I was given pills to calm me. I am not a therapist or psychiatrist, so I don’t know what really caused my migraines. The only thing I do know is that I had them, and one day they just went away.

      What I also know is that I never felt like I fit in. But I was always trying to fit in with everyone. I never really spoke up for myself and would follow the herd. I wanted desperately to be liked and a center of attention. But with so many cousins, it was hard for me to shine because I was so withdrawn.

      My dad was many years older than my mom, and being Sicilian, he wanted sons. Unfortunately for him, my two sisters, and me, he had girls. Dad told me once, You’re girls, so you are your mother’s problem. If I had sons, I could do things with them, but I have girls. It still makes me sad when I think about what he said. He wrote us off. We were girls, and because we were girls, he didn’t want to spend any time with us.

      Don’t Ever Tell Anyone You’re Pretty

      My mom did everything. She worked, she cooked, she cleaned, and she altered our clothes. One day when I was about five, Mom was altering

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