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    Holy Pride and Love of Self: The Untimely Death of a Son and the Unanticipated Revelation of Heaven
    Holy Pride and Love of Self: The Untimely Death of a Son and the Unanticipated Revelation of Heaven
    Holy Pride and Love of Self: The Untimely Death of a Son and the Unanticipated Revelation of Heaven
    Ebook114 pages1 hour

    Holy Pride and Love of Self: The Untimely Death of a Son and the Unanticipated Revelation of Heaven

    By Tom Steward and Ryan Bradlee Steward

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    About this ebook

    Discover a sons true beauty and how he impacted others, and also how this young man succumbed to the powers of addiction, losing his life to an unexpected drug overdose. The story does not end there; experience how heaven invaded a situation that could have left everyone hopeless. It was here that the love and grace of God began to shine through with a penetrating light. As in his two other books, Into Solitary PlacesOne Fathers Journey of Faith Through His Sons Struggle with Psychotic Mental Illness and True MindHow Truth Can Change What You Believe and How You Live, Tom Steward has written another revealing account of how lifes struggles do not have to defeat us or define us. We see once again how there is a way to transcend any human experience and emerge as victors. See how our affliction is eclipsed by glory, the eternal weight of glory that is far beyond comprehension. Toms ability to capture human experience, from the painful to the glorious, draws the reader into the many and varied experiences of life. He is not bashful to assert that God is always involved, no matter the circumstance, and that there is always a redemptive conclusion, although it may be difficult to see. This book will arouse the power of hope in you as you gain the courage to carry on, regardless of lifes challenges.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherWestBow Press
    Release dateJun 17, 2013
    ISBN9781449797621
    Holy Pride and Love of Self: The Untimely Death of a Son and the Unanticipated Revelation of Heaven
    Author

    Tom Steward

    Tom Steward is a Licensed Psychotherapist in Northern New Mexico who seeks to facilitate the healing of himself and others by using tools and practices from ages past and also the latest developments in energy healing. This book is his latest effort to provide practical tools so the reader is set on a course of discovery, recovery, and transformation.

    Read more from Tom Steward

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      Book preview

      Holy Pride and Love of Self - Tom Steward

      HOLY PRIDE AND

      LOVE OF SELF

      THE UNTIMELY DEATH OF A SON AND THE UNANTICIPATED REVELATION OF HEAVEN

      TOM STEWARD AND

      RYAN BRADLEE STEWARD

      westbow.png

      Copyright © 2013 Tom Steward.

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

      Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®,

      Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

      WestBow Press books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

      WestBow Press

      A Division of Thomas Nelson

      1663 Liberty Drive

      Bloomington, IN 47403

      www.westbowpress.com

      1-(866) 928-1240

      Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

      Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

      Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

      ISBN: 978-1-4497-9761-4 (sc)

      ISBN: 978-1-4497-9762-1 (e)

      Library of Congress Control Number: 2013910259

      WestBow Press rev. date: 06/14/2013

      Contents

      Acknowledgements

      1       What We Knew

      2       A Tender Warrior For The Worlds

      3       I’m Disintegrating

      4       Death’s Unwelcomed Onslaught

      5       In The Mirror At Dawn

      6       The Party

      7       Grief’s Tumultuous States

      8       Sunset

      9       Sunset’s Revisitation

      10       Visions Of Eternity

      11       Grace And Love

      12       A Life Of Impact

      13       Love’s Invasion

      14       Healing Worship

      15       A Father’s Heart

      16       The Power Of Addiction

      17       Caring For The Bereaved

      18       Something Out Of Nothing

      19       Getting By, Getting Through

      20       The Heaven We Will All See

      21       His Labored Smile

      Postlude: In The End

      Ryan’s Medley

      Endnotes

      For

      Ryan’s Cali cousins

      Jessica, Justann, Billy, Tiffany, and Samuel

      "I just have a strangely

      good feeling about you,

      to be honest;

      like you have a beautifully deep soul

      that I’d like to learn about and share with."¹

      "If I have read

      the Bible correctly,

      I know many men

      who never heard the name of Jesus Christ or have

      even rejected the official interpretation of Christianity

      who will, probably, if

      Jesus came in our

      midst today in the

      flesh, be owned

      by him more

      than many of us."

      Ghandi

      ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

      I am so grateful for my son, Ryan, who was such a remarkable person and who lived life so well, yet who had his foibles, as we all do. I owe so much to you, and for now, you need nothing because you have it all. Because of you this book has been written. You are the sweet boy.

      To my son Andrew, you are my hero, a true champion, who has triumphed over the greatest of odds, to realize the truth of who you were made to be. You are a kind heart and a gracious soul. I love you so much my son, my son. You are the special boy.

      To my big boy Daniel, your proven influence is in your tenacious ability to carry on, to continue against all odds, to become the great individual you are with unique talent. Your music and spiritual song is a delight to the Holy One. I love you my son, my son. You are the joy boy.

      To my lovely wife, Carole, who is a Mary above all women, holding many treasures in her heart. In this way you reveal to all women how to live and how to be. You are love, and I love you so much.

      To all of my friends at Celebrate Recovery Los Alamos (www.thelightonthemountain.com) who are my true companions. You have been my fellow travelers in recovery and renewal and have shared my deepest secrets and my greatest pain. I love you with the Lord’s everlasting love.

      To my friends at Spark of Life (www.sparkoflife.org), who have helped us in deep and meaningful ways. We consider you a great blessing for all who are called to endure the untimely loss of a child or loved one. To David and Debbie Matthews, and Rusty and Nancy Meadows, your loving service to those in profound grief will help build structures in the heaven of Eternity. I am grateful for our association.

      To my friends at Grace Vineyard Fellowship in Los Alamos, New Mexico, who prayed for us and contended for us in the precise way the Body of Christ was meant to hold up those in crisis. I am grateful for you and I love you all so much.

      To the community and town of Los Alamos, who were at our side in this most difficult loss and crisis. You loved us and supported us when we needed it the most. Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts to your beautiful hearts. May our town be all that we were destined to be, fulfilling the mandate and commission of our God, in Christ and by the Spirit.

      1

      WHAT WE KNEW

      for David and Ryan

      He left us

         For good

      He has gone to some far away destination

         A place not easily seen

         And certainly never known.

      I am left with this reminder of his brief and fleeting existence

         That life cut short

         As I view the gliding of the green swallow floating just beneath the canyon rim.

      And there is that crunching sound beneath our feet

         The wind, now, picks up the leaves and throws them softly, gingerly, carelessly

         Throughout the vehicle in which I am now found.

      And the one not gone, but feared to be departed

         Is there sitting next to me

      Observing the falling and the swirling

         As if he knows now what I know

         The insurmountable fear of tomorrow’s destined plunge.

      And we do not speak.

      Silence gives way to anger’s cacophonous bleating

         And I am less than what I was just a moment ago.

      Farewell lower self

         Farewell to the dearly departed

            Farewell all.

      I wrote the above somewhere in the latter part of 2003, I believe in the Fall, which was why there was comment about leaves. David, the young man I knew that was gone and I was grieving for, fell off a cliff near our home on May 7, 2003. Following this accident I visited that cliff edge numerous times to remember and grieve. There were many small birds; swallows I believe, green in color that flew just over the cliff edge during my visits. I have not seen these birds at any time since.

      I have always had this premonition that my son Ryan would leave us early. One of the times I was clearly struck with this reality was while I was sitting with him in our GMC Jimmy, also known as The Beast. This was also the Fall of 2003 and Ryan was 15. We sat there in that vehicle and I gained a sense of this leaving, which is what I alluded to in the above writing. Ryan was the one who was not gone at that time, but feared to be departed.

      I knew that there was a good chance his passing would occur somehow, yet I also knew that there was a power to prevent this death. In the ensuing years I did all I could to avert it. And I did a lot.

      My wife has four pictures on a shelf in her office at her work. One is of her mother who passed away in 2008. Another picture

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