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    Coach Daddy: Creating That Everlasting Bond with Your Children
    Coach Daddy: Creating That Everlasting Bond with Your Children
    Coach Daddy: Creating That Everlasting Bond with Your Children
    Ebook142 pages2 hours

    Coach Daddy: Creating That Everlasting Bond with Your Children

    By Davis Blaine

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    About this ebook

    This book is for the many people that have experienced some of their deepest passions from sports. It is about players, coaches, and parents. My desire is that the reader rekindles whatever passion he/she has previously experienced, or is currently experiencing in youth sports. Hopefully, one can learn from my experiences, and use them to create positive outcomes with their children.

    Sport is a universal language that impacts countless people throughout the world. It is a drama of the body and mind that is often played out in front of audiences. Even persons who were only casual players in their younger days can be avid fans. They care deeply about the competition, and whether their team plays well and wins. Then, there are the perpetual participants, as evidenced by the explosive growth of adult sport programs.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAuthorHouse
    Release dateMar 9, 2011
    ISBN9781456735425
    Coach Daddy: Creating That Everlasting Bond with Your Children
    Author

    Davis Blaine

    The author grew up playing three of the major sports-football, basketball, and baseball. From an early age, he was consumed with the competition and strategy involved in sports participation. He dreamed of playing professional basketball or baseball. Those goals were not realized, even though he played both sports in college. When his children displayed interest, the author devoted the time to coaching them. When two of his four children showed talent, he organized and coached “club” teams that competed at the highest levels. He felt that his prior experience playing in college would help them develop their skills and passion, as well as understand what devotion was required for greater success. This book is the story and experiences of the author in coaching youth team sports. His intent is to provide insight and guidance to any adult coach - from those just starting to the more experienced ones. Perhaps you will avoid what can be the pitfalls and emotional lows, and fully enjoy the highs. Most of all, he hopes you will find a few helpful ideas for improving your relationship(s) with your children.

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      Book preview

      Coach Daddy - Davis Blaine

      Contents

      Dedication

      Acknowledgements

      Testimonials

      Foreword

      C.O.A.C.H

      WHY COACH

      What You Should Know

      Coaching Your Own Kids

      Relations With Parents

      Preparation

      Sports As Culture

      Conclusion

      Dedication

      To my family – wife Karen; children Justin, Tristan, Brittara and Whitney – for their enduring love. They allowed and encouraged me to devote the time and energy needed to be a successful coach. And because I coached each of my children, I was able to develop a special, individual bond with them.

      Justin played sports the longest. After graduating from college in three years, he was a sixth round draft choice of the Philadelphia Phillies. He spent three years in the minor leagues before a serious muscle injury led to his release.

      While Justin became a professional athlete, all of my children think of their sports participation in positive terms. It taught them important life lessons, while contributing to building their self-esteem. And some of the friendships built along the way continue to this day. As a parent, these shared moments at practice or a game, and in-between, are irreplaceable.

      Acknowledgements

      My wife, Karen, inspired me to write this book and provided editorial and creative assistance throughout the publishing process. Every writer needs a manager/coach, and I would call her Coach Mommy.

      Every member of my family provided valuable commentary on this book. It was truly a family group hug.

      Testimonials

      "Most of my youth and adult life has involved some aspect of sports. As a sports agent for many successful professional athletes, including Justin Blaine, I enjoyed the many lessons shared by Davis in Coach Daddy. I well know how my clients (players) prepare mentally for their seasons. As a father and coach of three baseball-playing sons, I only wish I had read this book while I was coaching them. Coach Daddy will appeal to players, coaches, and parents, and touch their emotions.

            Paul Cohen

            TWC Sports

      Coach Daddy captures the essence of a parent coach. Davis Blaine clearly explains what you need to know in dealing with your children, as well as providing sound advice on how to coach. This is the ultimate reference book for coaches, as well as one of my most enjoyable reads.

            Lee Schwartz

            Father, Professional Football Player

      I co-authored a sports book, The Student Athlete Survival Guide. I would make Coach Daddy required reading for all youth coaches, including high school. The messages conveyed by Davis Blaine will make a huge impact on the how to of both coaching and parenting. The compelling interviews provide poignant moments that only reinforce how important is a youth coach.

            Rick Rhoads

            Author/Writer

      Foreword

      This book is for the many people who have experienced some of their deepest passions from sports, whether as participants, coaches or fans. It is about players, coaches and parents. My desire is that the reader reflects on the passion that he/she has previously experienced, or is currently experiencing in youth sports. Hopefully, one can learn from my experiences, and use them as a parent or coach to create positive outcomes with their children.

      Sport is a universal language that impacts countless people throughout the world. It is a drama of the body and mind that is often played out in front of audiences. Even persons who were only casual players in their younger days can be avid fans. They care deeply about the competition, and whether their team plays well and wins. Then, there are the perpetual participants, as evidenced by the explosive growth of adult sport programs.

      This book is my story and my experiences in coaching youth team sports. My intent is to provide insight and guidance to any adult coach – from those just starting to the more experienced ones. Perhaps you will avoid what can be the pitfalls and emotional lows, and fully enjoy the highs. Most of all, I hope you will find a few helpful ideas for improving your relationship(s) with your children.

      Sport is only one form of activity that brings together parents and children. It not solely distinguished by the competition and measurement of success (or failure); the concert pianist may even have devoted more intensified practice time to reach her pinnacle of success. The thing that distinguishes sport from other parent-kid involvements is the pure joy of play. A parent and/or a coach should always be mindful that sport is a form of organized playtime.

      Coaching done well and right can be one of the best parenting experiences. Of course, the opposite is also true. This book emphasizes the many ways to build positive, everlasting bonds with your children, as well as your spouse and friends. We all will make mistakes; this book can serve as a ready reference for correcting them well short of creating damaged relationships.

      Throughout this book are vignettes – both mine and others – that emphasize the joys of good and the traps of bad coaching/parenting. Sport is a game, but should not be treated as a trivial game, where it is taken lightly and the rules do not matter. Of course the rules matter. The game must be played fairly. And even to win the game is not the chief end. The chief end game is to win it honorably and with dignity.

      What is the ultimate expression of parental love for a child? It is love without judgment. It is supporting your child even when you believe the endeavor (which should be legal and ethical, or you should not support it) is either not right for your child or a waste of your time. Remember, we are talking about bonding, not what you want for your child.

      My second son, Tristan, probably best exemplifies the positive impact of sports on a child. As the second oldest, Tristan wanted so badly to emulate his older brother’s success as an athlete. Another incentive to participate was that he got alone time with me. From an early age, I knew that Tristan was not destined for sports excellence. He was not very strong or well-coordinated. But he was determined, oh so determined.

      We put him on soccer, baseball and basketball league teams. He abandoned soccer after one season, probably because, while I attended his games, I was not a soccer dad. It was not a sport that I played or understood. When he was seven, I volunteered to manage his T-ball baseball team. Early on he struggled to learn to hit the ball, and with his catching and throwing. However, by year-end he was at least decent in the field and at bat. He enjoyed the camaraderie of his teammates and our coach-child relationship.

      He stopped playing baseball for two years. Then, at the age of 10, he asked me to play on an off-season team which included a good friend. Again, baseball was also a sport at which his brother, Justin, excelled. I agreed to coach, but not manage. Nearly every time he batted, he struck out or walked. I continued to give him batting tips, and congratulated him when he hit the ball. Late in the season, he started to at least hit the ball. Yet, his teammates knew he had never recorded a clean base hit. In the next to last game, he hit a hard grounder past the infielder and arrived safely at first base. He beamed and I beamed.

      However, reality set in. At the next practice, he was not paying attention and was nearly struck in the head by a line drive. I was mortified. As we left the practice, I asked if he still wanted to play. His answer: I got my hit. Now I can quit.

      At the same age, he was also playing tennis and basketball. I was assistant coach for two of his last four basketball league teams. He played through eighth grade, with modest success. What he lacked in strength and coordination he more than offset with hustle. Tristan was frustrated that he was not a better player; he kept working to improve and insisted he was having fun playing.

      Tennis he loved, and practiced often. It was the sport where he could complete. And while he did not often show it, inside he was very competitive. He proceeded to play doubles in high school. In his senior year, his team won the state regional championship.

      My role as Tristan’s coach was to support his intention and activities. In some ways my life was consumed with coaching, since at the same time I also was head or assistant coach of club teams for two of my other children. Their athletic endeavors and prowess are described in later chapters. But with Tristan, every small success or improvement was magnified. And I will never forget that one and only base hit.

      My Reflections on Coaching

      1.   I am passionate about competition and sports. Coaching was a natural outlet for my not participating or playing as I got older.

      2.   Done properly, coaching one’s children is very fulfilling, as well as a tremendous way to bond with them. Together, we experienced and confronted so many issues, such as getting along with teammates, overcoming adversity, dealing with pressure and much more.

      3.   As coach, you can use all of your organizational and creative skills in a very defined way. You get to match strategy and the ability to inspire the best from your team versus all levels of competition.

      4.   Coaching is a tremendous way to give of yourself and make a real impact on the lives of our youth. No matter where I go in Southern California, I see young people who remember me with Hi, coach. It brings back warm memories every time I hear those words and see the face of someone I may have influenced to be a better person.

      5.   You will learn a lot about yourself. It is imperative that you keep the wins and losses in perspective, and always treat your charges with respect. Remember that everything you say and do is closely watched, and likely mimicked.

      6.   What are your expectations going in? During your tenure? First and foremost, have fun. The younger the team and the less competitive the league, the more you may need to tone down your approach. At the same time, I suggest you remain as consistent in style as possible, whether coaching T-ball or club team tournaments. Your kids will know the real you.

      7.   While the number one goal is consistency and staying true to your own values, it is just as critical to be flexible. You can encounter nearly every life experience (coaching is a

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