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    21 Days to Happily Ever After: A Christian Guy’S Guide to Being Happily Married
    21 Days to Happily Ever After: A Christian Guy’S Guide to Being Happily Married
    21 Days to Happily Ever After: A Christian Guy’S Guide to Being Happily Married
    Ebook152 pages2 hours

    21 Days to Happily Ever After: A Christian Guy’S Guide to Being Happily Married

    By Chris Broughton

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    About this ebook

    My wife and I had filed for divorce when Chris shared the materials in this book. That was more than five years ago. Now we are not just married, we are living happily ever after.

    Tim Quintario, a happy husband

    Statistics say that fifty-two percent of marriages end in divorce and that more than half the children in America do not have a father figure in their life.

    This is a tragedy, but its one that can be remedied one husband at a timestarting with you. In 21 Days to Happily Ever After, author Chris Broughton presents a twenty-one day program for Christian husbands centering on nine responsibilities designed to help strengthen marriages.

    A compilation of lessons learned during Broughtons thirty-two years of marriage and fifteen years of ministering to marriages, this guide offers a series of biblical truths to help men become better leaders, providers, lovers, warriors, advocates, standard bearers, forgivers, reconcilers, and intercessors.

    With engaging stories and appropriate analogies, 21 Days to Happily Ever After communicates what God expects of every man and shows you how to apply these principles to everyday life in order to live happily ever after with your wife.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisheriUniverse
    Release dateSep 10, 2012
    ISBN9781475942576
    21 Days to Happily Ever After: A Christian Guy’S Guide to Being Happily Married
    Author

    Chris Broughton

    Chris Broughton graduated from Indiana University in 1980 and has worked in IT for thirty-five years. He is an ordained pastor within the EMIF organization in Scottsboro, Alabama. Broughton and his wife, Gay, co-founded Genesis 2:24 Ministries, an organization devoted to seeing divorce eliminated. They have one son and two grandchildren and live in Southern Indiana. He is the author of 21Days to Happily Ever After.

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      Book preview

      21 Days to Happily Ever After - Chris Broughton

      Copyright © 2012 by Chris Broughton

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

      iUniverse books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

      iUniverse

      1663 Liberty Drive

      Bloomington, IN 47403

      www.iuniverse.com

      1-800-Authors (1-800-288-4677)

      Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

      Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

      Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

      ISBN: 978-1-4759-4256-9 (sc)

      ISBN: 978-1-4759-4258-3 (hc)

      ISBN: 978-1-4759-4257-6 (e)

      iUniverse rev. date: 09/04/2012

      Contents

      Acknowledgments  

      Section 1 Laying the Foundation  

      Chapter 1 On your mark, get set, go!  

      Chapter 2 Taking inventory  

      Chapter 3 Is the Bible true?  

      Chapter 4 Is my name in the Lamb’s Book of Life?  

      Chapter 5 God made me to be a husband!  

      Section 2 The Nine Responsibilities of a Husband  

      Chapter 6 Responsibilities of a Husband  

      Chapter 7 Leader  

      Chapter 8 Lover  

      Chapter 9 Standard Bearer  

      Chapter 10 Provider  

      Chapter 11 Warrior  

      Chapter 12 Advocate  

      Chapter 13 Intercessor  

      Chapter 14 Forgiver  

      Chapter 15 Reconciler  

      Chapter 16 Preseason Scrimmage  

      Section 3 Walking It Out  

      Chapter 17 Never give up  

      Chapter 18 The house of bread  

      Chapter 19 Victorious husbands  

      Chapter 20 Suit up—it’s game day  

      Chapter 21 Encouragement and feedback  

      Appendix A: The Responsibilities of a Husband  

      Appendix B: Sample Faith Vision  

      Endnotes

      This work is dedicated to my wife, Gay—my perfect helper, my lover, my one-flesh partner. Thanks for loving me.

      Acknowledgments   

      black.jpg

      This work would not have been possible without the help and support of my family and friends, my mentors, and my prayer partners. You have come alongside me and encouraged me. You have held me accountable when I was wandering and have prayed for me when I needed to stand strong.

      Thanks be to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, for his constant intercession to the Father on my behalf. He is the source of my strength and happiness. Amen

      Section 1

      black.jpg

       

      Laying the Foundation   

      I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.

      C. S. Lewis

      Chapter 1

      black.jpg

       

      On your mark, get set, go!   

      The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.

      Walt Disney

      After more than fifteen years of providing guidance and encouragement to married couples, I have come to the conclusion that no couple wants to be divorced; they simply have not figured out how to live happily ever after. This book is a compilation of lessons I’ve learned over the last thirty-two years of marriage and fifteen years of ministering to marriages, along with some suggestions for practical application of the lessons. I’ve written it from my perspective as a husband, as a guide for other husbands. I believe that complete happiness in a marriage requires a husband leading the way, and you can do that by learning and practicing The Nine Responsibilities of a Husband presented in section 2 of this book. You will learn the biblical truth about being a provider, lover, warrior, advocate, and intercessor. You will lift high the standard of holiness in your home and lead your family in an atmosphere of forgiveness and reconciliation. A home led by a husband acting on these responsibilities will be filled with peace and happiness and will provide a place for your wife to thrive and be the wife of noble character described in Proverbs 31.

      This book has twenty-one chapters presented in three sections. Each chapter focuses on a specific aspect of marriage and concludes with guidance for applying what you have learned to your marriage right away. I’ve purposely kept the chapters short to enable you to get through a chapter each day for twenty-one days—at the end of which you will have developed a set of tools that will move heaven and earth in favor of your marriage. Hear me clearly: this book simply presents opportunities, and you must take advantage of them if you expect to see results. You will begin to live happily ever after only if you choose to work at it.

      The wise man in Matthew 7:24–25 built his house on rock so it could stand strong, even when the wind and the rain beat against it. Chapters 2 through 5 will help you establish a similarly solid foundation for your journey to Happily Ever After, with the following rules as building blocks:

      • Know you have a relationship with Christ.

      • Believe the Holy Bible as the source of truth.

      • Understand that God has called you to be a husband in a one-flesh relationship with your wife.

      Chapters 6 to 16 present the nine responsibilities of a husband, along with opportunities to practice what God is showing you. As you read them, be encouraged: I have never met an unhappy husband who is acting out these responsibilities.

      The chapters in the final third of this book, Chapters 17 to 21, will encourage you to make a difference in your marriage daily, as you apply what you have learned. In doing so you will come to love your wife, lead your family in salvation and forgiveness, and raise the standard of holiness in your home.

      The appendix at the end of this book includes some useful documents to help you on your walk to Happily Ever After.

      Meet Jim

      Jim and I met when he was just about ready to pack it in and give up on his marriage. A construction worker, Jim had been married to Sheila for sixteen years; they had two teenage daughters who kept them busy with sports and school events. A friend of Jim’s had advised him to call me for help, so we made an appointment to have lunch together and talk about his situation.

      Over lunch we talked about how he and Sheila had met and married, and he bragged about his wonderful daughters. Then, after I felt that I knew a little about his life, I asked him how he and Sheila were doing now. I noticed that when Jim talked about falling in love with and marrying his wife, it was as if he were celebrating his wedding day all over again, and when he described his beautiful daughters, his eyes were full of excitement and a zest for life. But as he began describing the current state of his relationship with Sheila, his sadness showed on his face, and his body language was that of a defeated man. He clearly was not on the road to Happily Ever After.

      I am ready to just leave! he said, describing his daily battle to make Sheila happy. I’m worn out with it. No matter what I try, she has a problem with it.

      The fighting and arguing between Jim and Sheila had become constant; they seemed never to get along. Jim was 100 percent sure he could not continue to live with the fighting—he had been advised by many of his divorced friends that he should leave the old battle-ax and start living the happy life of a divorced man. I told him divorce was not the answer (Mal. 2:13–16).

      As it turns out, Jim was having trouble being happy in several areas of his life. He no longer knew what was important to him—I’m just not sure what I really want is how he said it. He had lost his way, and as a result he was feeling confused and sometimes even hopeless.

      Jim, what would you like to see different in your life? I asked him.

      Oh, that’s easy, he said. "I want peace in my house, I want my kids to grow up to be great citizens, and I want to love my wife more fully. But I also want to be able to afford a new V-twin motorcycle with loud exhaust and so much chrome you have to put sunglasses on to even look at it."

      Is that all? I said.

      Yeah, he said. If only I could just push a button and make that happen. He hung his head a little. If only, he said again, under his breath.

      After meeting with and helping husbands just like Jim for years, I’ve become convinced of one important fact: no man wants to be divorced; he simply has not learned how to live happily ever after. As I listened to Jim, I recognized a story I’d heard over and over again. So many husbands feel unfulfilled because they are not living as if they are still on their honeymoon, or worse, they are so tired of living like this that they are ready to divorce the woman they once loved. ¹

      Current statistics say that 52 percent of marriages end in divorce², and more than half the children in America do not have a father figure in their life. This is a tragedy. But it’s a tragedy we can do something about, one husband at a time—starting with you.

      The tools

      There are a few tools you will need to gather before we get started. Fortunately, they are simple tools, requiring little space to keep and carry. Kind of like the Pocket Fisherman, only better—because they really, really work.

      1) The first tool is your Bible. Pick the one you like to read, the one you carry to church. Too often we get tangled up in discussions about whether we should read the King James or the NIV or the New American Amplified with study notes and maps in the back. The important thing is to pick a Bible that you will read and can understand and will carry with you. God is a big boy. He’ll make sure he speaks to you through whatever version you choose.

      2) The second tool is a journal. A journal is a good way to keep track of what God is doing in your life. It doesn’t have to be fancy, and you don’t have to start every entry with Dear Diary. If it makes you feel better, call it your Captain’s Log and start every entry with Star Date 20100101—whatever suits you is cool. The point is, a journal needs to be written to you, by you, and for you. If you want to write your journal in some sort of personal shorthand or secret code, or if you want to write it with a crayon on the back of a cereal box, that’s fine. Just do it. Your journal will serve to remind you of three important

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