Never Alone Again

© 2014 Heidi McGraw. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 07/09/2014

ISBN: 978-1-4969-1560-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4969-1652-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4969-1559-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014911367

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CONTENTS

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE

CHAPTER THIRTY

EPILOGUE

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

I would like to thank my family and friends for all their support in this endeavor. I would also like to give an extra thanks to my daughter and two sons, the man that has captured my heart, my parents, my brother, my aunt who I am very close to and to a good friend Kathy.

Thank you all for your support

CHAPTER ONE

The street was crowded and Autumn Goldschmidt had a hard time making her way through the crowd to see the big event that everyone was gathering to see. Autumn was weaving around people slowly making her way to the front of the line to where she saw four men who were lining up four horses next to each other with each horse attached to a cart. Autumn stood and listened to everyone talking about the horse race and which horse they had betted on. The horses were lined up ready for what looked like a race and looking to her right then to her left, she did not see a finish line and the horses where facing a large pond about 200 feet in front of where the horses where lined up at. Before Autumn could ask the guy standing next to her what was going on, that is when she heard a gun being fired into the air. Autumn quickly looked back at the horses to see them raise their front hooves off the ground before they started to run straight for the pond. Autumn started to scream. Stop it, what are you doing? But no one would listen to her. The specters’ cheers were drowning out her voice.

Autumn ran as fast as she could towards the carts the horses were pulling. No matter how fast she ran and cried out; Halt, easy boys, the horses continued to run full speed right towards the water. By the time Autumn was able to get to the pond, the horses were already struggling to swim with the carts filling with water. Autumn dove in and headed to the closest horse to her and when she arrived at the first horse she was still under water and was able to unhook the cart and this horse was able to swim away to safety. Autumn came up for air. She could see the other three horses were starting to struggle to keep their heads above water. Autumn screamed for someone to help her, as she swam to the next horse closet to her that is when she would see that this horse’s head was barely above the water. Just as Autumn reached the horse, its head was starting to go under and all Autumn could do was hold the horse’s head above the water the best she could while she screamed again for someone to help her as she tried to get the horse to swim towards the edge of the pond. No one was coming, the specters were pointing and what sounded like laughter coming from the crowd of people. Autumn tried, holding the horse’s head above the water, pleading with someone to help, losing her energy as she tried to help the horse from drowning.

Autumn was woken by a loud sound, she could hear the raging thunderstorm that was going on outside. Her breathing was fast, she was damp from the perspiration that she had dripping down her face. Her heart was beating hard against her chest. Looking around trying to figure out where she was and that is when she realized it was only a nightmare, a nightmare she had not had in a few years. While Autumn tried to control her breathing by telling herself. It was only a dream, it is not real. It is only a dream. More lightening had come down, which was shining light into her motel room. Autumn lay in the bed trying to think of where she was. She was back, she thought. It all had come rushing back to her quickly. She was back, back in her hometown, back to where she never wanted to be again. Back to where everything had changed for her in her senior year. Back to the little town in what she thought of now was the arm pit of the world. Autumn was in Jackson, Montana.

Autumn had promised her best friend Nichole that she would come to Nichole and Nate Phillips’ first horse showing and they were showing their horse ‘Amarillo Rose.’ Autumn was happy for her best friend because this had always been a dream for her and her husband and buying the 100 acres of land was going to allow their dreams to come true. This meant, once their horse farm takes off Nate would be able to stop working his regular job and concentrate solely on their horse farm. Both Nate and Nichole knew it would be tough on them for awhile until their dreams became a reality. So, until that day arrived Nate could not give up his full time job and with little Nathan being so little, Nichole had agreed not to be their jockey, she would wait until Nathan was older before she enter in the races herself, but that did not stop her from taking little Nathan out to the barn to help take care of their animals.

Every time Autumn and Nichole spoke, Autumn would be told how much Little Nathan loved to pet the horses and help carry the feed bucket which made it easier on Nichole and Nate to watch over him allowing them to work out in the barn and watch their jockey get Amarillo Rose ready for her big debut. Their wishes for Amarillo Rose first showing had a lot riding on it, and they hoped that the horse would not freeze and she show her potential of what she is capable of doing and that the champion they knew her to be would come out for the world to see allowing them to enter her in more competitions and then breeding her at a later time.

The thought of little Nathan warmed Autumn’s heart. Ever since little Nathan was born, this little bundle of love had stolen her heart. Nichole and Autumn had been best of friends since they had started kindergarden together and when little Nathan was born and Autumn held him for the first time she knew she would always be a big part of his life. Autumn was lucky, for the first year of little Nathan’s life, she had been a big part of it. Autumn was his God-Mother and she was able to see him just about every day and then that also had changed when Nate was transferred for his job and of all places … back to their hometown. Where all of Nate and Nichole’s dreams were going to come true for them and where all of her dreams feel apart years ago, Autumn thought.

Autumn had calmed down her breathing by thinking of sweet little Nathan’s face, his soft brown eyes that would light up when he sees his Aunt Autumn, to his sweet charming good natured personality. Autumn could not wait until she could hold him in her arms and kiss his chubby little cheeks again. Autumn looked at the clock it was only 4:11 am, even though the nightmare had left her mind and was replaced with sweet memories of Nichole, Nate and little Nathan now, she still had trouble falling back to sleep. Her mind started to wander again about how her life used to be. How she missed her parents, how when she needed her Aunt Berta at the most important time of her life … her aunt had shown her true colors and walked away from her. The hurt and hatred she had for her aunt in one swift moment had changed her life after her parents were gone; she knew she could never count on any one again to knowing she was truly alone at that very moment.

Autumn could no longer stay in the bed. The clock read 4:39 am so Autumn decided it was time to get up and get right on the road. Autumn had never unloaded her car, since she only needed a place to close her eyes for a short period of time. She had been too tired to drive any further last night and she knew when it became close to 10 pm that she better stay at a motel. She will still surprise them this morning by bringing them breakfast from Denny’s Restaurant. The new breakfast to go thing made life so much easier at Denny’s Restaurant. Denny’s had come up with this new concept which made it easy to place an order and pick it up. If she planned it just right she could be at Nichole’s house by 5:30 am ~ 5:45 am, which Autumn knew Nichole and Nate would be awake and with Nate taking off of work today to work with Amarillo Rose and their jockey that she would make it to their home before Nichole could start breakfast.

Autumn knew Nichole was a creature of habit like most people are and that meant as soon as she woke up at 5:30 am, she would wake her husband up, go check on their son then head to the kitchen to pour herself her first cup of coffee and her husband’s. Nichole always set the coffee pot up the night before with the timer on their coffee pot to start at 5:15 am and when Nichole was sitting there drinking her coffee she would considered this her quiet time, she will relax in her favorite chair drinking her cup of coffee while listening to little Nathan’s baby monitor making sure he was still asleep, waiting on her husband to come downstairs so they could start their day.

Nichole could not believe Autumn was there already, she had not expected her until later today. Oh my God Autumn, you made it, as she cried for joy and hugged her best friend. Nichole had just doubled checked all the locks on the house and had the baby’s monitor in her hand as her and her husband were just about to walk out the back door when they noticed a car sitting in the driveway, with the door opening up. You know me Nic, I like to make a grand entrance, Autumn said crying with joy, laughing and hugging her best friend who she had not seen in almost six months. I can see I didn’t make it late enough … I guess I have to go to the barn and do the morning chores with you two. Autumn said as she approached Nichole and Nate as the three laughed in harmony together. Glad you are here now, and Nate can go to the barn while we sit on the porch and have a cup of coffee. We have a lot to catch up on. How does that sound? Nichole asked her friend. Autumn smiled and asked. Nate, I forgot something in my car, would you grab it for me? It is sitting on my passenger seat. When I seen you two walking out of your house, I didn’t think to grab it.

Nate came back with the sweet smell of food coming from the red bag that says Denny on it. This was very nice of you to bring breakfast with you, Nate said. Why didn’t you tell us you were on your way? You know you could have come here last night instead of staying at a motel. Autumn knew Nate meant that. I know. Autumn answered. It was just getting late. I was trying to get here earlier and I told myself if I was in town by 9 pm I would come straight here. With you guys going to bed early, plus you were not expecting me until tonight … I did not want to wake you. I was looking to surprise you. If that accident had not backed up the thruway and I had not waited for hours for the road to clear … I would have surprised you last night. But, since that did happen, I surprised you this morning. Nichole hugged her friend again. Yes you did and what a nice surprise this is.

It amazed Autumn at how great Nichole’s life had turned out for her. Yes, Nichole and Nate both worked very hard, but they worked together as a team and were making a family business together so their children will someday be helping them run it. Autumn thought how nice it is to see a happy and loving couple working together. This was their life. Autumn tried not to think of what her own life would have been like if things had not changed for her on that dreadful day. Autumn tried not to dwell on what could have been. She had a life that she was living and she was happy for her best friend.

The horse show was tomorrow, Nate had taken today off of his normal job to work a little more with Amarillo Rose and their jockey, Lain. Nichole had already planned on going to town to get a few things and run some last minute errands and she suggested to Autumn. Autumn, why don’t you come with me to town, it will be a way for you to see that some things have changed, since you have been gone. Autumn was hesitant about going to town with Nichole. It had been six years since Autumn had been back to Jackson Montana and just traveling back here had brought up a lot of sad and hurtful memories for her. She had not planned on going to town while she was here. She had only thought of coming to Nichole and Nate’s place, hang out with them, play with little Nathan, go to the horse show, and that was about the jiff of it all. Not go to town, not go by her old home where her and her dead parents lived. Autumn did not really want to go to town. Nichole had been persistent on her coming to Jackson Montana by telling her if she did not come to their place and support them on this she was not a true friend. Yes, Nichole played that card to get her to come back home where Nichole thought Autumn should be anyhow and not living in Homer Nevada by herself.

Autumn never thought she would be going to town or by her house she grew up in. That never once crossed Autumn’s thoughts. Knowing Nichole as Autumn did, she knew she had no choice. Nichole would not let Autumn sit here by herself nor feel sorry for herself. When Nichole was around, she pushed Autumn to do things she would normally not do, like come back to her hometown, Jackson Montana.

Bryan Messer could not believe his good fortune seeing Autumn walking down the street in town. It had been six years since he had last seen her and she still looked good and had that body that drove him wild. Bryan watched Autumn walk down the sidewalk looking at the different shops with her friend Nichole. The way Autumn walked still memorized him as he watched her ass checks move up and down as she swayed her hips to each side as she walked. Bryan, why are you not listening to me? April was yelling at him as she was looking in through the passenger door. Open the door. Bryan turned his head to look at his younger sister and only sister.

Growing up in a house of five siblings and April being the youngest and the only girl, everyone had a tendency to do as she asked. April always had to have it her way, but Bryan could not just blame his parents for April being so spoiled. Each of their brothers and himself for that matter had always done things for her. Yes Princess, Bryan said back to her as he leaned over the truck’s bench seat and opened the door for his sister. April asked as she was placing her packages on the seat. What were you doing that you did not see me coming up to the truck with my hands full? Why didn’t you have the door open for me? She asked, as she started to look around to see what he might have been looking at.

Bryan was not going to mention Autumn, or what he was thinking about. All he did was shrugged his shoulders and responded. Nothing, I was just listening to the music and not paying attention. April knew her brother too well and did not believe a word he just said to her. As soon as April sat down on the truck bench seat she started to look around more closely at the shops, because Bryan was not fooling her. There must be a girl around her somewhere, April thought to herself.

April started to look at the shops entrances since she did not see anyone just walking down the side walk her brother would be interested in and that is where she spotted the brunette that was standing next to Nichole Phillips. Autumn, April thought, almost calling out her name. April remembered how Autumn liked her brother Bryan before she left in her senior year of high school and she knew her brother liked her back. April was glad to see Autumn, she thought maybe Autumn would be a good distraction from the dimwit her brother was seeing from time to time now and April could only hope things would work out this time between the two of them.

Nichole and Autumn just walked out from the little bakery when Nichole asked Autumn. Have you seen the old place yet? Sadly Autumn replied. No, I only came down highway I91 and got off at Exit 57 taking the back roads in, instead of taking the thruway to Exit 40 which would take me to town … I don’t think I want to see it. Everything had been taken from me on that day. I don’t know if I could ever look at it again. Autumn really was not talking with Nichole any more, she was mostly now just making a statement. Ever. Autumn thought letting the word ring in her head.

Nichole knew how tuff it had been on Autumn. She was just starting her senior year when her whole life changed. When you think it could not get any worse, in Autumn’s case it had. One bad thing after another bad thing happened to her. Nichole tried to be a good friend and help her out, but once Autumn’s Uncle Stuart and Aunt Berta Sawtell got involved they made it impossible for anyone to get near her. Nicole tried the best she could, but when Autumn was shipped away by her uncle and aunt it had hurt her in a way she could never understand.

It took almost two months before Autumn was able to contact Nichole and till this day they could never figure out the reason why Autumn was shipped off to a boarding school in her senior year and why she could not stay with them or with Nichole for her senior year. What really bothered Autumn was that where her uncle and aunt live is more like a castle with not many people living in it, so they knew there was plenty of empty rooms that she could have stayed in one, even her Uncle Stuart and Aunt Berta only had one child and a lot of money from what they knew of. Why would only this boarding school be Autumn’s only solution? And why not allow Autumn to live with them? The manor had all kinds of rooms, yet she was not allowed to join their family and live with them.

Nichole and Autumn started to think that Stuart and Berta’s only child, Lori did not want Autumn there. They both knew Lori was spoiled and Lori was always mean towards Autumn. Nichole and Autumn would hear stories of how Lori’s friends were always at the Sawtell Manor and how they had their own bedrooms for when they would spend the nights, to how they got to lounge around the pool with the servants waiting on them. With Lori being the only grandchild of Harold Sawtell, the rumors where that he spoiled her even more then her parents did. Nichole and Autumn thought that maybe Lori didn’t want to share her lifestyle with Autumn? But no matter what Nichole and Autumn came up with, Autumn could not excuse her aunt for not sticking by her side through all the mess the drunk driver caused for her.

Autumn had always thought that her aunt and she were very close. Even when Autumn and her Mom Clara stopped going to the manor, Autumn’s mom, Berta and Autumn would still hang out and make things together, go shopping or out to the movies and maybe go out for lunch together. They would talk about anything and everything. If you were to ask Autumn if she thought they were close, Autumn would answer yes, very close. This had also changed the night of her parent’s funeral. Autumn was proven how wrong she really was about her aunt. Autumn’s aunt walked away from her when it mattered the most to her. She would never forgive her aunt for doing that to her.

My treat for lunch, Nichole suggested. Trying to reel her friend out of the thoughts she knew she was having by the expressions on her face. What are you in the mood for? Do you have a favorite spot you want to revisit? Or may I suggest a place? Autumn felt uneasy being back in her home town, it did not feel right to be here anymore. Autumn thought that the shopping with Nichole would be a great way to see what had changed and maybe get a feel about how she really felt about being here again. Autumn realized it was too soon. All her emotions were coming back to her and all she did was want to go back to her safe life she had made for herself, which was far away from this place. Let’s go to your place, I really don’t need to stay in town any longer, soon this little guy will want to lay down for his nap, Autumn said as she held little Nathan in her arms, tickling his belly as she spoke. Autumn kept her true thoughts about her feeling of uneasiness about being here was doing to her. How her just being here only made her want to crawl out of her own skin before seeing another place in this town.

Autumn, Autumn is that really you? A familiar voice was calling out to her, Autumn turned to see Berta running towards them. As Berta reached Autumn she wrapped her arms around her and hugged her so tight Autumn thought if she was not holding little Nathan right now, she was pretty sure she would not be able to breathe. How are you my dear? I am so happy to see you, I have missed you, Aunt Berta said to her as she hugged her. Autumn pulled back away from Berta. Autumn could no longer look at Berta in the same way as she once did. Berta, Autumn said with no emotion. Are you back for good? Where are you staying? You will have to come to the manor and have dinner with us. Everyone will be happy to see you," Aunt Berta was rambling off.

Autumn listened to Berta talk, but listening to these words coming from her mouth she was having a hard time believing what she was saying. Autumn knew Berta loved her at one time; at least that is what she vaguely remembers. The memory of how close her mother and Berta were when her mom was alive and the news of her parent’s death had crushed Berta just as much as it had Autumn. So why couldn’t Berta be there for her? What Autumn could never figure out was why if Berta loved her so much, why would Berta ship her off to a boarding school and turn her back on her?

Nichole spoke up. Autumn is staying with us. Trying to will Autumn to talk to her aunt, so the healing could begin. Autumn did not say a word though; she just looked at Berta as if she were a stranger asking for directions. Nichole and Berta carried on a conversation and just before Berta walked away from them she looked at Autumn with tears in her eyes. I have always loved you; you will always be my niece. I loved your parents as much as you. I had no control over what happened and I regret how I handled things in the past. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time. Berta had tears now streaming down her face as she told Autumn this just before she turned around and walked away from them.

Autumn what are you doing? Your Aunt Berta was trying to reach out to you. Berta has not had it easy and you know this. Why are you treating her so badly? Especially with her trying to reach out to you as soon as she seen you. I don’t understand why you would not talk with your aunt and hear her out? You may learn the answer to your questions about why she did what she did, finally. Nichole was saying to her friend as they walked towards Nichole’s car with Autumn leading the way as Nichole talked to her. I do not want to talk to that woman and of all people you should know this. Why don’t you just drop it Nichole," Autumn snapped.

The ride towards Nichole’s house was awkward and quiet between them. Neither one said a word. Autumn only stared out her window as Nichole drove. Autumn was trying not to think of her aunt and the last words she said to her before her aunt closed the door to the back door of the cab, sending her on her way. I love you; this is the best thing for you. Berta had told her. Autumn tried to tell her she would be good and begged her to let her stay with her and that is when her aunt closed the door to the cab and Autumn heard the doors locked as she watched helplessly in the back seat as a stranger drove her to the unknown.

The strange man had turned his head around and told her to shut up. Autumn had to do what he said, because she was trapped in the back of the car. The car was equipped with child safety locks and someone had made sure that both doors in the back were locked so she would be unable to open the car doors and get out. Autumn tried to open the doors a couple of times, begged and pleaded for the driver to pull over and let her out; however, once Autumn was a few towns away from Jackson she no longer wanted to go back. The visible wall around Autumn’s heart had already started to go up and that was when Autumn decided she would never come back to Jackson, Montana or have anything to do with Berta, Stuart or Lori ever again.

Autumn knew they were getting close to Nichole’s house and just before they pulled into Nichole’s driveway Autumn spoke up. I am sorry for how I acted in town towards you and what I said to you. You are my best friend and I did not mean to snap at you. I knew it was a bad idea to go into town. Maybe I should have stayed home and not have come. I don’t know what came over me? I should not have come here. Saying again as she looked lost looking out the windshield of the car.

CHAPTER TWO

Autumn sat in her old driveway, looking at the house she grew up in, trying to remember the good times she had with her parents here … she was tired of feeling the way she did. She had felt pain and sorrow for so long and with everything that happed so fast … she never got to say good bye to them. Autumn thought if she came back to her old home, that maybe she could find some kind of closure and find piece.

The tears had started to roll down her checks, she began to shake uncontrollable. She never heard the truck pull up behind her, she never heard the person get out of his truck. She never seen the man walk up to her driver side door, she did not know she was being watched. Autumn just cried feeling all the raw emotions she had tried to hide for so long, rushing heavy on her as she sat in front of her old home trying to remember something good.

As soon as Bryan seen Autumn pass him driving down the road and she was alone, he turned his truck around to follow her. He had no plans of what he was going to do when she stopped her car, he just figured he would follow her to see where she was going and what she was up to, but what he did not expect was for her to pull into her old driveway. Bryan waited for a few minutes to see what she was going to do before he approached her car to say hello and as he approached her driver door he noticed she was leaning over her steering wheel and he could hear crying coming from her car.

Without letting her know he was there he climbed back behind his wheel of his truck. Bryan was told to keep a close eye on her and find out what she was up to. This was a task he had no problem following those orders on, but right now the best thing he could do was to give her a little time to herself and see what she would do next. Not wanting to be spotted, Bryan continued to watch her from a short distance staying out of her site. He was wondering if she would leave. Would she approach the house and if she did approach the house what would she do? He wondered what she could be thinking about sitting in her car.

Bryan watched Autumn get out of her car and start to walk up to the house slowly, now he thought he would see what she was up to. Bryan was busy watching her hips sway back and forth that he never noticed the new owners of the house coming down the street, and before he knew it, Marcus and Lori Hurtgam pulled into their driveway Bryan knew his situation was not going to be good.

Hey you, what are you doing walking around my house? Marcus called out as he threw the car into park and jumped out as he called out to her. Autumn just about jumped out of her skin as she looked towards the rough sounding man’s voice she just heard. I am sorry, I … I use to live here. I just came into town and wanted to look at the house, Autumn was saying to the dark haired man with a square looking jaw. Before Autumn could take another step she seen a woman moving on the other side of the car and knew instantly it was her cousin, Berta and Stuart Sawtell’s only child, Lori.

When Lori climbed out of the passenger side of the car she did not say a word to her. I don’t care if you lived here or not, this is our house now. Get off our property, Marcus demanded. Autumn looked back at the rough man as he spoke mean to her, before she could ask her cousin "what is going on?" Mom said you were in town. Why did you come here Autumn? Lori asked as she looked at her cousin who she had not seen in many years. Autumn could still feel the hatred from Lori towards her and that still bothered her because she never understood the reason why Lori felt the way she did towards her? Autumn always had know that Lori never liked her, nor was Lori shy in telling her so no matter who was around, but she never gave a reason as to why she did not like her.

Lori remembered how her mom use to drag her over to her Aunt Clara and Uncle Frank’s house for family dinners and get together when she was younger and how she hated them. Lori was happy when her father put an end to that, once she told her father how she hated to go over to Aunt Clara’s house, her dad no longer let her mom drag her over there. Lori never understood the reason why it was so important to her mom to hang out with those people. It was bad enough Autumn went to the same school as her. Lori never cared for Autumn and she still didn’t, she really didn’t have a reason. She just knew she did not like her. Lori thought how nice it was once Autumn was out of the picture and that her senior year had turned out better than what she could have wished for. Now Autumn was back, hopefully not for long. Lori thought. I did not know this house was sold to you. I just wanted to look at it that was all, Autumn tried to sound sincere. She did not want them to know how mad she really was that they lived in her house. "Why did Lori have to