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    Torn Together
    Torn Together
    Torn Together
    Ebook55 pages48 minutes

    Torn Together

    By L. J. Martin

    ()

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    About this ebook

    This book is my journey to self realization in a difficult 17 year marriage and eventual divorce. It literally took me years to understand what real happiness was and how I grew stronger once I found the secret. I am here to share with you my thought process of how to help yourself in a unhappy marriage or relationship. I address divorce,infidelity, how to plan for the future, and how to talk to your children about divorce. I believe it is absolutely possible for anyone to find happiness with proactive changes in your life. The reader will understand how much we affect our current relationships and move on in the right direction.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAuthorHouse
    Release dateMar 24, 2011
    ISBN9781456729875
    Torn Together
    Author

    L. J. Martin

    L. J. Martin is the author of four dozen published works. He lives in Montana with his wife, NYT best-selling romantic suspense and historical romance author Kat Martin. They enjoy travel, cooking, hunting, fishing, photography, and wintering in California. Learn more about L. J. at www.ljmartin.com, www.wolfpackranch.com, and more about Kat at www.katmartin.com. Or search facebook and other social media sites for L. J. Martin and Kat Martin.

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      Book preview

      Torn Together - L. J. Martin

      Contents

      Preface

      Writing A Book: Are You Kidding!

      My Relationship Is Ok, Isn’t It?

      Who Am I?

      The Transformation

      Let’s Start our Journey

      Poem

      The Short or Long Way Out

      Feelings to Deal With

      Future Relationships

      Advice From Others

      Looking Back: Should I Have Known?

      Preparation for the Inevitable

      Are You Cheating?

      So Papers Are Served

      Education and the Kids

      Children and Divorce

      The Good Napkins

      My Daughters’ Perspective of Divorce:

      So How Does This End?

      To The Reader

      Preface

      This is to all people who are currently seeking a divorce, in a troubled relationship, or maybe it’s just a thought that you should move on. Male or female, it’s not an easy process. It certainly is not where I thought my marriage would end up. I grew up believing that marriage was forever. I was committed to it, believing it would never end. I knew it would have its ups and downs, but what I wasn’t prepared for, was where to draw the line. How much trying, loving, patience, and forgiving is enough? These questions are highly personal and are up to you to answer. Only you can determine the breaking point or tolerance in your relationship. Each experience is unique and no less traumatic than the other. I hope in some way I accomplish bringing you to some conclusion as to where you need to be or where you need to go from here. Allowing strength, peace, and certainty of your own will to guide you in the most positive manner.

      Writing A Book: Are You Kidding!

      Of course as stated in the preface I want to reach out, be heard, and make a difference in your life. What self help book isn’t after that, right?! Ironically I can’t believe that I could or would write about a subject that has most likely hit epidemic proportions. It’s not something I encourage, or want people to do. But I do want people to start thinking why we are making so many bad choices or putting ourselves in unhealthy relationships. We need to start making changes that are proactive or good choices in our future relationships.

      So here I sit with pen in hand and a pile of notebook paper. (I wasn’t always near a computer, so I carried this around when the flow of thought hit me.) I am dumbfounded that I am now a statistic for the records. My writing is a way to express my thoughts to you and share what has happened. It’s my way to not only reach out to you, but somehow get through to you that any form of disrespect, not just physical, cannot and should not be tolerated. Any form of abuse (emotional, mental, physical), lying, cheating is not acceptable. If you think about it, respect is trusting, not hurting someone, and giving them your very best.

      So here I go with my pen writing to you from the heart and a head reeling with thoughts to share with you. May the best of life come to you, a bright future to be lived. Always give a smile every day, even if it’s not returned you may make someone’s day without knowing it.

      My Relationship Is Ok, Isn’t It?

      Beware, maybe you think your relationship is OK, normal if you will. Most likely your idea of a good relationship was from observing your own parents growing up. Possibly you have observed over the years marriages from relatives, brothers, sisters, and close friends.

      Does that make it okay if your marriage is just like one of theirs? Not if it’s not healthy, filled with real love of give and take. Love that makes you know without a shadow of a doubt that your needs are the utmost importance to your partner and vice a versa.

      Who Am I?

      Who am I you ask? Nobody really, in the sense that somebody is well known by the public. I am simply a mother of three children, wife of a man who climbed

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