One Woman’S Testimony: In a Whirlwind of Circumstances

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© 2013 Linda Lee Vidi. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 1/29/13

ISBN: 978-1-4772-2081-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4772-2082-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4772-3700-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012911642

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

The Amplified Bible (AMP). Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission, all rights reserved.

The king James Version and The Living Bible - People’s Parallel Edition 1981 Tyndale House Publishers- All rights reserved.

The King James Version (KJV) Public domain.

Love is a Choice Recovery For Codependent Relationships. Copyright 1989 by Robert Hemfelt, Frank Minirth, Paul Meier Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Be Anxious for Nothing Copyright 1998 by Joyce Meyer Life in The Word, Inc. Published by Harrison House, Inc. Tulsa, Oklahoma.

The American Heritage dictionary fourth Edition Dell reissue May 2007 Published by arrangement with Houghton Mifflin company Published by Bantam Dell – A division of Random House Inc. New York, New York.

Court Transcripts – Official Reporting Services, LLC. Copyright 2007 -2009

Photos Cover photo and inside collages are from the authors private collection.

Contents

Acknowledgements—

Prologue

1: How Quickly Things Can Change

2: That August Night

3: No Time to Grieve

4: When Everything Changes

5: Hard Pressed

6: The Call

7: The Miracle–June 2007

8: The Mind–Trailing Moments–life with Joe-the early years

Collage

9: Released Into the Mission

10: Sequestered with the Father

Chapter:11 A Trailing Moment—Life as it was in the condo—

12: Another Trip To Court—Everything At Once:

13: Multi Tasking

14: A God Thing. The IRS Miracle

15: Court—Court—Court

16: The Final Decision—A Triage

17: Created For a Purpose

18: Codependent—Original Family

Afterword:

About the Book—

Dedicated to my Lord—

And dedicated to my Late husband Joe;

Linda, I had to give you Joe for a husband; I know he is a tough customer, but you will be able to witness because of it.

The Lord

Author’s Note

This is a true story, though some names have been changed.

A teenage Joe—our courtship on the beach

Clockwise- left to right: Pictures 1 and 2 before our wedding, a modeling job. 3 - Joe dressed and ready for reception. 4 - Joe and me at our reception. 5 - Donna, my sister, me, Teresa, the flower girl, Paul Anka, my mother Lil, and Joe. 6 - Me. 7 - cutting a six foot cake and 8 -my sister, Donna, my maid of honor.

Acknowledgements—

Thank you to my immediate family, Chris and Jackie, you have both been through a lifetime of experiences with me. I love you, and I am grateful for your candor. I thank my whole family, Jorge, Zuzana and my wonderful grand kids, all of you complete a close-knit family. May we grow in the joy of serving you Lord. Without my Lord and Savior Jesus, I would not have gotten through another day. Thank you Lord for continually being there for me; Hallelujah! Thanks to: Diana Florio, for always standing with me, and for your prayers. Shajena Erazo for your inspiring confidence in my story, and skillfully helping me get started to put this story on the computer; Joel Justilien for lending support and expertise on the computer; Tom Meyer for your school teacher’s perspective and opinion; Angela Menendez for helping me with those tedious transcripts, and assistance; Judy Parrott for your encouragement and keen writer’s eye. A special thank you to my sister, Donna and her husband, Tom Bussiere who have helped me get over the hurdle in bringing my story forward. Their initial financial assistance has been greatly appreciated—

Prologue

Years ago, a friend told me to write a book about what I had gone through in my life. At that time, I didn’t think that I would, or even could, write an account of a roller coaster life. However, I now feel that I can share some of the unexpected and intense events I have faced.

I’ve come to realize that even though I didn’t write that story twelve years ago, now sharing a portion of time that has dramatically changed my life could also encourage someone who just might need to know that- yes we can go through what seems like hell; go through it, and be better and stronger for it.

One thing for sure is our Lord is a loving God; He will carry us through some of the most desperate times in our lives. I can truly say that the years I had spent in the past, the years that this dear woman of God was referring to, were not only a map of survival, but were also techniques, some trusting God and some reasoning out what I must do to go forward. I learned survival skills because of a marriage that had bound me with someone who had bondage that had encumbered our union. To look back at the sheer naivety of my reasoning is surely far removed from my thinking process today.

I was so young and so enthralled by my handsome boyfriend, completely immersed with the excitement of a guy, who had an air of forbidden fruit. Excessive and carried with emotions, we both fell into a relationship that entangled us for all of his lifetime and the majority of mine. We had known each other from the time we were ten, becoming involved at thirteen. This soul tie would cloud my thinking. Seeing the charm that he could lavish on me and not realizing his overly possessive nature was extreme, I was his and everyone knew it.

An older friend of ours would often quote an old cliché, It’s too bad youth is wasted on the young. A worldly statement, but the truth was; I was going in the direction of my senses and hoping for a good path. I had not asked God or my parents for advice - even though my parents had reservations and told me so. I wasn’t listening. I knew there definitely was a God, but I did not have that close relationship or the discernment at that time.

Not knowing what I was going into, I married Joe at twenty- one years old. He was an enigma, so charming and attentive, but yet there was that deep-rooted anger within him. I had not seen this aspect of his behavior, or maybe I dismissed it as something that would be O.K. After all, we were being married in a lavish wedding ceremony and I had known him for a long time, and the expectation was that we would marry. I wanted what most girls want, a journey of joy and commitment.

We started out with what seemed like a glamorous life. Our wedding included some famous people and a table of some infamous people; (I didn’t know who those guys were) but I was later told they did not want their pictures taken. (Who were those masked men, so-to-speak?) My father-in-law ran the front door at a famous hotel, The Fontainebleau on Miami Beach, and had kept company with an assortment of different types of people. This period of time at the hotel was a hey-day of famous celebrity associations, and another group of patrons- the mob. It was a fast moving hub of worldly people, political conventions, big celebrities, including Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, among many others, and was the lifestyle my husband was surrounded by. He worked for his father and was caught up in this world. Joe was often given favor with all sorts of fast moving people, some genuinely nice and some movers and shakers. He found it exciting, and he was following the lifestyle of many of these people. He basically had the run of the hotel. Not only was he given a taste of their social drugs, but he was a part of many of the antics going on behind closed doors.

After our marriage, this soon turned into a pattern of the faithful wife, at home stirring the spaghetti sauce, waiting for a husband who got home when he chose to. Soon I had two children and felt a strong responsibility to stay at home. This did not deter my husband from going from a late night shift of work and starting a night of partying.

I could write about many episodes of this marriage, the battles, the mental and physical abuse, the leaving and wanting a different life…a normal life for my children. In those early days, there was not the extensive help in counseling one gets today. Wanting things fixed but not knowing how to accomplish it, I turned to my mother-in-law. She lived only a few blocks away, so we were always talking. She was privy to a lot of my grievances and was my chief counsel. Her advice boiled down to, Linda, Joe loves you so much. All men are bastards, but at least he provides for you and the children. Her own life experiences had marked the way she saw things. She had lived her life with a man who was a rageaholic, abusive, yet this man had a kind side, too. She was used to abuse, verbal and at times physical, so after an outburst, she would tell me what her mother had told her, You make your bed, and you lay in it. This was the counseling she had received, and she passed it on to me. This was where I was getting my counseling; no word of God, no books on abuse or T.V. shows exposing abuse. After talks with my mother-in law, and many promises from my husband, I would not leave but try again, hoping for change. Always Joe would leave me with, Linda, you can’t leave me. I love you so much. Everything will be alright. I won’t let you leave, or the kids. I knew he meant this.

That godly lady, counseled us through the church we had come to the Lord in, and was the one who encouraged me to write. She knew many of the experiences Joe, and I had in our life together and felt my story would help other women in similar circumstances. I could write of many episodes of high drama, a story of survival with God’s help, delving into those past days. I will, at a later time, go into more of why I am who I am today. It certainly has been a trip- a journey- in which many times, I would say, I didn’t raise my hand for this testimony. Looking back at all the nuances of my life, I see God’s plan was always in place. It really wasn’t about me or what I’ve been through. No, it’s about me having the empathy to share with, and lift up people.

I cannot help noting one of the profound statements of Paula White, It may not be God sent, but it will be God used. This woman of God has lifted my faith with some of her encouraging sermons. This statement is so true, whether we made bad decisions or things just happened. God will use it in our destiny for him.

I have chosen to write about my life after my husband was killed in a horrible car accident. I now know that the Lord used this time in my life to get my full attention in order to show me that I must completely surrender all to Him, and not hold back and try to fix things as I, at times tried to do. No, this is a process of getting closer and discerning his will for me.

By sharing this story and testimony, I hope that it is going to allow anyone who is hurting, or just surviving and feeling, Will I ever get a peace in my trials? to know that the Lord truly is there. He knows our pain, and he wants to bring us through to a life of true joy. There is a wonderful joy that he will give to us-that real rest- that surrender brings, for in surrender, we get strength to lift that burden off our own back, not thinking we are the only one who had fear, and that we are lacking faith. You can be in fear and learn to turn it over as soon as possible. Don’t give up; know that this is a process. You can give it up and trust, as you build your relationship with the Lord. Our faith grows as we go through great trials. (Not a pretty picture), but crises and the valleys are what builds our character. When we surrender, we gain freedom. Letting go gives our soul and our physical bodies a much-needed lift, because when a person is so burdened down, they are more susceptible to illness. Praise Him! And let go. What freedom this becomes, true freedom.

I would be remiss if I did not share that in the last fourteen years of Joe’s life, he was born again and loved the Lord and was very grateful for the wonderful blood of Jesus. He truly knew the grace of God and how it works in our lives. He had a strong empathy for people in need, was very generous to all, and had a very big giving heart. Even with his own struggle with bondage, he loved his family and church members.

As I look out at the ocean, I am reminded of the fact that a storm can come through, churning up the sea, hitting the shore with such velocity and strength— I wonder how the beach can stand up against the crushing wind, but after it has passed, the color comes back to a wonderful, clear, turquoise ocean, the seaweed swept out to sea, and the beautiful white beach intact. I forget the hurling wind and the storms that passed. Now looking at the beautiful calm and inviting beach, to me, is an analogy of what God allows to be stirred up and swept clean in our grand universe and in our own lives.

This story is being shared, to encourage hurting people that they too can persevere and get through the circumstances that come their way; for those times when we have no hope to receive hope against hope. With Christ Jesus as our Lord, we can have a strength that sustains us through anything we go through. Little did I know the trip I would go on was for others— to let them know, they can get through their obstacles, their giants, what seems impossible with no way out. I have been through that dark tunnel of uncertainty.

There was no input from the past, no running ideas from Joe. He always had ideas. If you feel like you are in a whirlwind of circumstances that just keep blind- siding you, and you don’t know how you can go on at times, feeling like what is next? seeing no way out, then take heart. After a time of feeling you’re so boxed in on all sides, even in those scenarios of trying to figure it all out, sick from any stress that has not been released, just hold on. You are really in a fight of faith to get your hope back.

Just know you are not the only one with such a battle, and I do mean battle. I find it less than truthful not to admit the fear that can debilitate in such attacks. Yes, I have been there, with fear racking my soul and weakening my body with fatigue and pain.

I am knocked down, but I get up. With the tools of walking by faith, I see a new dawn saying, Yes, this too shall pass and by standing on the Lord’s promises to us and much prayer it passes.

This is not about me. It’s not about my comfort or discomfort. This testimony is for others- hope for anyone who needs comfort in what they are going through. There is a bright tomorrow. I don’t believe in giving up, even though at times I felt like it.

The reason I am sharing the blow by blow turbulence of numerous situations in my life, is to let those women and men