College: in Sickness and Health: Kaitlynn

Contents

Acknowledgments

The High School Senior

Introduction

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Acknowledgments

All eleven teenagers who spent years or a few semesters in our home, our two biological children, our two adopted children, our three foster children and the two girls who need a place to live while attending college, thank you for the experience.

After ten years of service on the board of trustees of Missouri Baptist University, I would like to say thank you to the past presidents, the current President Dr. Alton Lacey, his wife Pat, the administration, and every professor, who contributed time and talents to make the university what it is today.

To all those donors, who gave and still give their support monetarily, Thank you.

Thank you to all the people, who allowed me to use their names in this book—Pastor Jack Bishop and Kathy, Dr. Triplett, Calvary Baptist Church, Al and Nancy Rimmel, Dr. Jo Ann Miller, and Dr. Alton Lacey and Pat Lacey and finally Dr. Brand. A big thank you goes to Dr. Dennis Hensley, from Taylor University for his untiring (and tired) effort and late night hours with Starbucks Coffee, editing to keep me in the same verb tense, punctuation, spelling, the appropriateness of character behavior, and all that goes into writing a saleable book.I used the name of Chaffee located in Southeast Missouri, as the setting for the farm family, but no knowledge of anything in the book came from any source other than my imagination and personal experience.

The High School Senior

A crucial time in the life of a young person is the evaluation of his or her education, experiences, talents, and desires. The high school senior year is a time of reflection, and a time of relaxing, having made it to the last year of high school. It is a time of decision making, regarding life after high school.

Introduction

When a farm accident took Mr. John Moore’s life, it left his wife, Bonnie, with five children to rear alone. Mrs. Moore leased a building in town, and opened a restaurant. She named the place only Cafe, because the neon signs were too expensive. The oldest son, John, and the youngest son, Paul, were left to do the chores at home before going to school each morning, while Mrs. Moore, and 18 year old, Kaitlynn, and her two brothers, Dennis and Steve, went to the Cafe’ before school, to get the Cafe ready for the breakfast crowd. It was a struggle keeping the farm going until Mrs. Moore’s father and the children’s grand-father moved in with them. He became a mentor to the teen-aged children and 8 year-old, Paul. Kaitlynn was the eldest child and a worrisome person. In her mind, college after high school was not an option because her mother and brothers needed her. The story begins with an opportunity to have a day away from school and chores, to go to St. Louis and tour the campus of Missouri University.

Chapter One

My sixteen-year-old brother, Dennis, was changing the tablecloth on the large table in the café dining room, when I heard him say, She’s in the back. I’ll go get her.

I thought he meant Mom, so I didn’t bother to look up to see who was asking. I was behind the counter where we filled our drinking glasses and reached under a cabinet to get a clean towel to wipe the splatters off the countertop. Dennis walked past me and went in the kitchen. When I stood up, I saw my high school counselor waiting by the café door. I smiled. Mrs. Miller, you may sit wherever you would like.

I walked toward her, just as Dennis came out of the kitchen and said, There you are.

Mrs. Miller, will there be others joining you for dinner? I asked.

Dennis chuckled. Mrs. Miller is looking for you, Kaitlynn.

My heart went into double time. I couldn’t imagine what I might have done to have the high school counselor come to the café looking for me. I thought her job was to counsel kids with problems.

At school, I was friendly, but stayed mostly to myself, and I didn’t give the teachers grief. I tended to be insecure and shy, but I’ve been working on having confidence in myself.

Mrs. Miller said, Kaitlynn, I’m driving two girls to St. Louis tomorrow to visit the campus of the Missouri Baptist University. I thought, since you go to Calvary Church, you might like to go, too. I have room for two more girls.

I must have stood there for more than a few seconds before I said anything. I had a dozen thoughts enter my mind, such as, how can I go to college anywhere when Mom is working to support us? College isn’t an option for me. Mrs. Miller was explaining about taking a tour of the campus and what she knew about the good education and music departments.

My fourteen-year-old brother, Steve, was listening as he laid flatware rolled in napkins on a table. His mouth was always open. "Kaitlynn, I’d jump at the chance to get away from school for a day and be excused to go someplace… anywhere." Mrs. Miller chuckled, but looked at me for an answer.

I glanced over at Steve, but said to Mrs. Miller as I was thinking. Um-m, I don’t know. Let me check with my mother.

Just as I turned to go ask her, Mom came out of the kitchen wearing her stained, white, kitchen apron and wiping her hands on a white towel. Mrs. Miller explained what she had asked me. Mom glanced at me and smiled. Sure, she can go. It would be good for her to get away for a day.

I heard Steve chuckling in the background and saying, Lucky girl, I might beg for a ride, too.

Mrs. Miller’s expression changed to delight. Good. I’ll pick you up out at the farm at seven in the morning.

I noticed that Mom and I were both holding a white towel in our hands, but Mrs. Miller was waiting to see if I was going to agree, so I said, Okay. Thank you for asking me.

I suddenly became self-conscious and twisted the towel around in my hand. I said, Excuse me, and went back to the drink area to finish wiping off the countertop.

I wish I wasn’t afraid of my own shadow. People tell me I’m shy and I need to have more confidence in myself. Being the oldest child in the family, my whole world changed when Dad caught his arm in our farm’s old combine machine and died. He bled too much before the paramedics could get way out in the field to help him.

That was two years ago and I was almost sixteen, and closer to Dad than my brothers, because we practiced and played the violin together. When he died, I suddenly felt as if I should be the one to fill his shoes and help Mom with everything.

Well, I’ll go with Mrs. Miller, but I don’t see how Mom can afford for any of us to go to college after high school. Mom has the full financial responsibility for all of us kids and the farm, too. Besides, St. Louis is two hours from Chaffee, our town and farm, down in Southeast Missouri.

On the day of the two-hour trip to St. Louis, I woke early when a rooster started crowing outside my window. My new jeans, my white tank top and a blue over-blouse were ready on my bedroom chair. I laid them out last night. I didn’t want to make any decisions when I got up the next morning. After I dressed and looked at myself in the mirror, I thought, I look good enough to be a college student already, but looking in the mirror, watching the clock, and looking out the window would not hasten the time. I turned around and looked at my long wavy black hair in my full length mirror to make sure I had brushed it out well and my shirt tails were down over my hips.

Mom always told me. You may wear what the other girls wear, but your clothing must cover top and bottom… and that means everything between the top of your shoulders to the end of your behind. My brothers used to laugh at Mom for saying that.

I began to wonder why I told Mrs. Miller I would go. I could use another hour of sleep, and going to college… well… I never thought I could, so why plan on it? Oh, well, going to St. Louis might be an enjoyable experience, especially since my brothers and I don’t get away from Chaffee very often… just as Mom said. We have so much responsibility on our farm and in the café, that it is hard to go anywhere. I worry about Mom, too; she never seems to feel well. Maybe this day away from home, might not be such a good thing. I might be needed at the café.

A noise in my mother’s bedroom next door brought me out of my quiet thoughts. I tiptoed down the hall to my mother’s bedroom door. The door was open, and I could see Mom sitting in the green and tan recliner chair where Dad used to rest when he was too tired to sleep. The sun was shining brightly in the window, producing an angelic halo over Mom’s dark hair. She had her Bible in her lap. Mom looked up and noticed me standing in the doorway; I startled her. I wondered why she was up so early and why she was reading her Bible at this early hour. Mom, are you okay? I asked.

Oh, Kaitlynn, come in. I heard that rooster crow and you get up, and I was just lying in bed thinking about some decisions. I decided to get up and read my Bible. Maybe God will give me some guidance.

I wondered how often Mom did this, but asked, Mom, what decisions do you have to make?

Not answering my question, Mom asked me a question. Is there something you needed? You are up and dressed early.

I was just wondering if you need me to go to the Café and break up the lettuce and have Mrs. Miller pick me up there, at seven.

Mom hesitated, and I wondered about her bright blue eyes and black hair. Both of her parents’ hair was light brown before it turned grey, and their eyes were brown, too. Perhaps her dark hair and mine came from Mom’s biological family. She was adopted privately as an infant.

Kaitlynn, you don’t know how much I have come to depend on you and appreciate your thoughtfulness, but today, you have a day to enjoy. I called Cousin Stacy and she’ll meet the boys and me at seven this morning and will work as long as she is needed. Besides, she enjoys the work and getting out. When I called her last night, she offered to come anytime. She loves to come to the Café, and she’s a good cook, too.

Oh, okay, but I wondered why Mom always called Cousin Stacy—Cousin Stacy.

"Mom, that’s great! But, what are the decisions that have you concerned enough to get up and read your Bible?"

Mom looked at me with a touch of sadness in her face, but she ignored my question again. She just said, as she laid her Bible on the small table beside her chair, Honey, today is a big day for you. I don’t want you worrying about me or anything. My decisions will be good for you and the family, so I’ll wait for you to come home to talk about it. Okay? Besides, we have to talk about your future, too. You have some decisions to make, also.

I suspected that Mom was thinking about the job at the Burlington Northern Railroad Office. She talked about working for the railroad before. I remembered Mom saying, A job there would give the family good insurance, and that’s what takes all my extra money now.

I said, Okay, Mom, but do you want me to load the washer or do anything else?

No, I loaded it last night. It’s ready to turn on.

I said, Okay, and wandered back to my bedroom and looked out of the window. The sun was coming up big and it was bright, but my thoughts went to Mom and Grandpa.

Grandpa is a retired railroad official. He often stopped at the yard office just to see what is happening. He told Mom about a railroad dispatcher job that would be opening soon. If Mom took a job with the railroad company, she wouldn’t have to depend on me and my brothers, Dennis and Steve to help at the restaurant. We could participate in school activities, if we wanted. There was never time for that. Besides, Grandpa and all my brothers, John, Dennis, Steve and Paul, would appreciate more help on the farm.

I just don’t know what to think anymore. I’m eighteen now and I’m supposed to know what to do with the next phase for my life. But how am I supposed to make decisions when whatever I do will affect my entire family? Mom and my brothers depend on me.

I think a lot abut my life and what I might do next spring after graduating from Chaffee High School. I assumed college or a university education wouldn’t be possible, so I didn’t think about college. I wondered, also, what does God want me to do? I sometimes wonder… does God really care? Would God care, as long as I still honor Him in whatever I do with my life? I figured I would just keep on working at Mom’s Café and helping her with my brothers after high school.

The alarm clocks were ringing in the boys’ and Grandpa’s room. One by one my brothers John, Dennis, Steve, and Paul, wandered out of their rooms, buttoning shirts or tucking them into their pants, carrying shoes, or stuffing a book in a backpack. Each boy tried to race the other to one of our bathrooms.

I smelled the coffee coming from the kitchen, and grabbed my blue denim backpack purse and camera off my desk chair and went downstairs for a quick breakfast. Today was a typical morning with everyone getting chores done or eating breakfast, so I went to the living room to wait for Mrs. Miller, out of everyone’s way. At exactly five minutes before seven, Mom, Steve, and Dennis headed outside to the car and the five-minute drive into town and to the Café. Before they went out the door, Mom said, Kaitlynn, enjoy your day!

Steve just had to add, Yeah, Kaitlynn enjoy your day, but think of me as I slave with the books at school.

Bye, Mom, Dennis… and Steve, I’ll do that, I answered.

I thought about Mom’s ability to schedule everything for her family and yet not be one minute late in opening the Café, getting breakfast ready for the early crowd while Dennis and Steve set tables, and then sending them off to school. I wondered, what made Mom so predictable and so keen on keeping her schedule? I wondered, too, if it was Grandpa Ross’ railroad job that kept her on time as a child? Dad was an engineer on the railroad, and he, also, kept a strict time schedule.

At one minute till seven, my thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the back door. Mrs. Miller, also, was punctual. I grabbed my purse and camera and went to the door and greeted her. I shut the door, but didn’t lock it. Grandpa, John and Paul would be coming through the back door with the milk and eggs. I waved goodbye to Grandpa as he came out of the barn with Paul. Paul was carrying the milk pail, which looked too heavy for him, but he proudly looked my way and waved with his free hand. I thought, as I went down the back steps, if I go far away to college, I will miss Paul’s ninth birthday.

Mrs. Miller broke into my thoughts and said, You many sit in the front. Marianne and Chelsey chose to sit together in the back.

Marianne Weber and Chelsey Edwards are two of the most popular girls in school. They are involved in everything, or so it seemed. They both said, Hi.

I said, Hi, back to them, but, I wondered why they would be interested in going to a Christian university. They don’t go to Calvary Church where we go. Mrs. Miller doesn’t either, come to think of it. Chelsey was bubbling over with excitement about missing a day of school. Both girls are in my English class, but I have no outside school activities with them, so I don’t know them well.

Mrs. Miller put us at ease and talked about how interesting and even fun college life could be. She wanted to know about our interests and what we might like to study. Marianne wanted to major in music education. Chelsey said she was thinking about education.

I asked, How do you know what major you want? I can’t think of anything I would like, except maybe business. Mom has given me a taste of business when she purchased the Café.

Marianne responded quickly, That’s it, Kaitlynn. If there is something you are familiar with and enjoy it, then it’s a possible choice for a major. I’ve taken piano lessons for eight years. Because I am familiar with music and enjoy music, that’s what I will major in.

I’ve had years of violin lesson, but I wasn’t able to play in high school, so I had not thought about the violin. Marianne doesn’t even know that.

Chelsey added, My mother teaches in the elementary school, and she is always telling me it’s a good profession, but she wishes she had more freedom to express her Christian beliefs. She chuckled. Mom does tell the children we are supposed to love and forgive everyone. She’s afraid she might slip some day and say—the Bible says we should love even our enemies.

I wondered about that, because I never thought either of them would be interested in spiritual things. Mrs. Miller was listening to us chatter, and she finally said, You know, girls, God often is preparing us in ways we don’t see, to fit into His plans for us, and one day you will know His plans, even if you start out in one course of study and change to another. You might even find the man of your dreams while you are in college and decide to be a wife and mother. That’s also an honorable profession. Marianne and Chelsey laughed and said, Not until we’re out of college."

I wondered if that might be my future and how they could be so sure it wasn’t theirs. They probably will be the first to marry, and that would be amusing.

The drive north on Highway 55 was beautiful. The orange, red, and green colored leaves were still hanging on the trees, even though next week would be November first. It was a pleasant drive, and the two hours to St. Louis went by quickly. We were like three excited little girls and not at all mature, college-bound adults.

St. Louis had a lot of traffic. Chaffee doesn’t have this kind of traffic. We only needed one or two traffic lights and stop signs. We begged Mrs. Miller to take us to the St. Louis Arch, so we could take pictures. She told us there would be no time to go to downtown St. Louis and we needed to save our film for the university campus.

We were overwhelmed with the big buildings and the six and eight lanes on the highways in St. Louis. Mrs. Miller knew where she was going, and we turned on Highway 40 and went west. I worried. We were very far from home, the Café, my brothers, and Grandpa Ross. As we took the off ramp to Mason Road and turned toward the university entrance on the outer road, we saw the sign: Missouri Baptist University…Gateway to Knowledge for Service. I was impressed. A short drive down a tree-lined street brought us to the campus.

Mrs. Miller drove into the parking lot and said, Girls, first things first. We need to freshen up and go to the admissions office. Someone will be waiting at the office to give us a tour of the campus

In front of the admissions office, a young man was waiting. He was probably the cutest guy we had ever seen. He was dressed in khaki pants and a navy blue knit shirt. At Chaffee High, he would have been the dream of every high school girl. Mrs. Miller introduced us. He said, My name is Matthew Davis. I’m a third year student here, and I will be conducting your tour of the campus.

Marianne and Chelsey smiled from ear to ear and both of them said, We’re happy to meet you.

When Matthew looked at me, I smiled and nodded my head and looked away. He looked at me longer than I thought necessary. He started to say something to me, but he didn’t.

Matthew said, I have two hours before my class. If you will follow me, I’ll show you the Jung-Kellogg Library first.

After that, we went to the Tom and Virginia Field building. Then he showed us the Pillsbury Chapel and Dale Williams Fine Arts Center. We had not seen anything as big and majestic as this building. Our whole town wasn’t much bigger than the university campus, and we don’t have big buildings. Marianne asked to see the music section of the fine arts building, but Chelsey wanted to see the dormitories.

After an hour and a half of walking, we had completed the tour of the campus, even the inside of the buildings. Matthew said, I will take you back to the admissions office.

The university president, Dr. Lacey, saw us and came out of his office to meet us. Marianne and Chelsey giggled again and said, Happy to meet you. I just smiled and nodded again. Dr. Lacey said he hoped we enjoyed the tour and suggested we go to the cafeteria before leaving the campus.

The lady in the admissions office gave each of us a catalog of courses, an admissions application, and a financial aid application. She said she hoped we would consider coming back as full-time students, and, if we had any questions, to call her. The phone numbers were in the catalog.

As we exited the building, Matthew Davis was standing in the court-yard and talking to someone. He gave me another long stare, and I felt uncomfortable. He turned and went in another direction, and we went to the cafeteria. Mrs. Miller looked over the applications as we ate and chatted. She told us that anytime we needed help filling out the applications we could bring it to her office and she would help us. I was thinking I probably won’t fill out the application, because the university is far away, and Mom needs me. I’m just not a risk-taker.

Marianne and Chelsey talked all the way home about how much fun they would have if they lived together in the dorm and what subjects they might take. They had their eyes in their catalog and were reading about requirements for different courses and majors. Marianne’s thoughts occasionally turned to Matthew Davis, and she commented on how nice he was. Chelsey quietly said, Yeah. I thought about Mrs. Miller’s comment about finding a husband on campus and becoming a wife and mother. Marianne sounded like she was looking for a husband already.

The drive home didn’t seem as long as the drive to St. Louis. Mrs. Miller noticed my lack of enthusiasm and that I was not talking as much as Marianne and Chelsey. She asked me if I was feeling okay.

I glanced over at her, from my side of the car, and said, Yes, I’m fine. It’s all a little too much to think about, and Mom seemed concerned about something before she left for work this morning. She said she had some decisions to make, and we would talk about them when I got home. I’m wondering if Mom was referring to college and if she can afford it, or if I am going to go away to a university and leave the family. I don’t want her worrying about me with all of her other concerns.

Mrs. Miller cleared her throat. Kaitlynn, you are a very good student, and I have no doubt that you can get a scholarship. Then your mother won’t have to worry about tuition. Regarding your mother’s decisions, I’m sure she’ll make the right ones. Trust her to do what is good for your family. I know your mother. She used to go to my Bible study years ago, when your father was still living. We have missed her since she started working. I know she prays about her decisions.

I thought on that for awhile and wondered why Mom didn’t talk much about her friends. I guess she has too much to do and think about with five kids, the farm, Grandpa’s health and running the Café. She needs a day away from us and her responsibilities.

It was four o’clock when we drove back into Chaffee. Mrs. Miller took Marianne and Chelsey home and then dropped me off at the café, so I could help with the preparation for the dinner crowd. Cousin Stacy was still at the café. She was measuring tables. Salads were already in the cooler and the evening baked bread was done to perfection. The aroma made me hungry.

Mom had a look of contentment on her face, and I couldn’t help but notice Cousin Stacy’s smile. When Mom saw me walk into the kitchen, her face lit up, and she bubbled over with as much enthusiasm as Chelsey and Marianne had earlier that day. What could have happened while I was gone?

Both Mom and Cousin Stacy shared what had taken place. They didn’t ask me about my trip to the university, and Mom didn’t even ask about her friend, Mrs. Miller. Instead, she said, Kaitlynn, I want you to meet the new owner of Chaffee’s Café. Mom pointed to Cousin Stacy.

Then, Cousin Stacy said while pointing to Mom, Kaitlynn, your mother is now the new daytime dispatcher for the Burlington Northern and Santa Fe Railway.

I was stunned. Did that mean we would not be working before and after school? Did that mean Mom wouldn’t be so tired each evening when helping the boys with homework? How was I supposed to respond? I finally asked, Mom, are you sure this is what you want, and Cousin Stacy can handle this without our help?

Both Mom and Cousin Stacy chuckled, but Mom said, Of course, dear. Cousin Stacy has already chosen helpers to replace you and the boys, and they are eager to work. The other employees will stay on board. Cousin Stacy will take over everything, and I’m out of my contract on the building. I’ll have a week off before I start as the railroad dispatcher. It will give me a little vacation.

Oh, okay, I said, but out of habit, I checked to see if all the salads were ready for the evening meal, and the linen napkins were all folded with the silverware in them. Cousin Stacy must have stayed all day to help Mom. I found a clean apron, put it on in the bathroom, and washed my hands. Dennis and Steve were outside the back door, picking up the trash that had blown away from the dumpster. They knocked, and I let them in.

Steve said, "I am glad we won’t have to do that anymore."

Dennis responded, Yeah, but I’ll miss coming in here every day. You know Grandpa will have more jobs for us to do on the farm.

I felt ignored. Don’t I even get a hello from you guys? I have been out of town all day, and no one has bothered to say, ‘How was your trip?

Mom overheard my remarks. No, I didn’t forget, she said. I was so wrapped up in my decision to sell the café, and you looked so forlorn when you walked in the door, I decided to tell you our good news first. When we get home, you will have my undivided attention for twenty minutes. I want to hear all about the university you visited.

That was just like Mom, putting a time limit on our conversation, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that she would shut if off in exactly twenty minutes and give her attention to something else. Oh, well, God has been good to me. He gave me this lady as my mother. So, I will take the twenty minutes. It was time to go home, anyway. I just said, Okay, to Mom.

At 6:40, Mom finally decided the evening workers could carry on without her. Cousin Stacy already had gone home. She said she would be back in the morning around 6:30. Dennis and Steve left the café, to finish their homework in the car, while waiting for Mom and me.

Grandpa kept dinner warm for us at home. Mom says her dad is the best cook in town.

After cooking so much food at the café, she always seemed to have a hearty appetite for her dad’s food. I’m usually too tired to eat, but I do anyway, because Grandpa would ask, Aren’t you feeling well?

When supper was done and the kitchen cleaned up, Mom asked me to tell her about my trip to St. Louis and the university. I shared with her all about the traffic, the huge buildings on Highway 40, and the tour of the campus, and I showed her the catalog, applications for admission, and financial aid. I told her about Marianne and Chelsey’s enthusiasm for going to the university, that they wanted to be roommates, but when they met a cute guy, their interest turned to him. On the way home, he was a topic of conversation more than once.

I found Matthew to be a smooth sort of person, really put together with his clothes, poise, and friendliness. That is, except for his puzzling stares and he once called me Katie. He certainly tried to sell us on the university. I told Mom, how he had a funny expression when I didn’t greet him like the other girls, and when we came from the admissions office, he was outside talking and acted like I should speak to him again, but when I didn’t, he turned and walked the other way.

I asked Mom, Do I offend people, because I’m not outgoing like Marianne and Chelsey?

Mom was shaking her head negatively. She said, No, as long as you acknowledge people when they are speaking to you, she said. Sometimes it is better to be on the quiet side because then your mouth won’t get you in trouble.

I wondered about Matthew and why he was staring at me but didn’t let Mom know that his gaze really bothered me. Mom scraped some imaginary crumbs off the kitchen table and looked at me with a smile. She said, Kaitlynn, I really need to tell you why I took the job as a dispatcher for the railroad, she said. This job will give me about the same amount of income as the café did, but I will work less hours. I need to make more time for Grandpa. He is getting too old to keep up with the boys and the farm work. He needs to be able to sleep late or do what he enjoys. Beside that, he has not felt well lately. But it’s not just Grandpa. It has been unfair to you and the boys to be so tied to the café before and after school. You should enjoy your last year of high school and make plans for college. It’s an exciting time to venture into the next phase of your life.

Mom rose from the kitchen table, took a dish cloth, and rubbed a little spot on the countertop and said, I had my doubts about making the change, but I think it will be for the best. She paused and looked up at the kitchen wall clock, but continued talking. I really am concerned about Grandpa’s health. He seems to have a lot on his mind, too. He mentioned more that once that I should look up my biological family, but that isn’t important to me. He is. He’s my dad.

Mom was talking non-stop, like she was trying to convince herself that her biological father or family wasn’t important to her. I said, Mom, I’m fine with it, if you want that family to stay in the past, and I’m fine with your decision to turn the café over to Cousin Stacy. I’m glad you told me.

I pushed back my chair, got up to get a glass of ice water, and took my papers and catalog from the table. I didn’t say much to Mom about the café, because the decision was hers to make. I did have a little sense of relief, because I wouldn’t feel as if I had as much responsibility on my shoulders, or my brother, John’s shoulders with the farm. John is only seventeen.

I was tired and wanted to retreat to my bedroom and think about my future. I wondered whether I should go to college or stay home and help Mom and Grandpa after graduation.

I told Mom, I’ll pray about going to college. I’m glad I went today. It was a new experience for me to be able to visit and see the big city.

Mrs. Miller stopped me in the hall at school the next week