On the Road 2 Recover

Contents

Preface:

Chapter 1:

Born To Worship

Chapter 2:

Knowing Your Purpose

Chapter 3:

Love In All The Wrong Places

Chapter 4:

The Breaking Point

Chapter 5:

I’ve Been Hurt

Chapter 6:

Great Women Have Great Weaknesses

Chapter 7:

After The Pain

Chapter 8:

A Mother’s Love

Chapter 9:

Tied Up & Tangled Up

Chapter 10:

Nothing To Lose

References:

Dedication:

Preface:

Have you ever wondered why you were born? Have you ever cried so much, that tears no longer flow from your eyes? What is your real purpose in life? How long will it take you to reach your destiny? Do we really know if the paths we take, are the paths chosen for our lives? Often times, we ask ourselves all of these questions, but do we really want to know the answers. Many of us take journeys throughout life that help us to become the people we are, some for the better and some for the worse. There have been many called, but for what purpose? Many people have been chosen, but for what task have they been chosen to complete? Many of us have gifts, but do we know what those gifts are and are we allowing our gifts to make room for us? Some people are still wondering what their callings and gifts really are. I pray that this book will help you to experience the anointing that God has placed on my life, so that these questions will become clear to you. My prayer is that you begin the road to recover from the obstacles, hindrances, and trials, that have been blocking you from reaching your appointed destination and that the anointing on my life is transferred to you in a measure of your capacity.

Romans 8:18 (KJV) For I reckon that the sufferings of this present are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

Chapter 1:

Born To Worship

Jeremiah 1:5(KJV) Before I formed you in the belly I knew you; and before you came forth out of the womb I sanctified you, and I ordained you a prophet to the nations.

Were you born to worship? On July 9, a seventies baby, was the birth of one who would surely find out. A baby girl was born to Bishop Jimmie L. Long, Sr. and Joyce D. Hall-Long. They named her, Jennifer Denise Long. Raised in Jacksonville, Florida with one brother, Jimmie L. Long, Jr. and one sister, Felicia James. Unfortunately, my mother miscarried three children, which would have made us a regular Brady Bunch. Though our parents were not wealthy, the values they imparted into us were priceless. From a child our father must have known our destinies, because he began grooming us for ministry at a very early age. We did not realize it at the time, but the mysteries he helped to us to understand would be words of wisdom to carry us throughout our lives. It’s as though it was yesterday, I still remember growing up in my uncle’s church and singing in the choir. At that time, mom’s brother, Bishop Lorenzo Hall, Sr. was the pastor. It is funny how as parents we see the gifts our children possess, but we do not always know if they are destined to fulfill them. Dean Hall, my grandmother, was the founder and overseer of the church. It originally started as a prayer band, and grew into a full ministry from there. She was the matriarch of our family that held everything together on my mom’s side.

Predestined to be a woman of strength, from both my mother and my father’s families, I never apprehended what life had in store for me. Raised Pentecostal, I later learned that it is not about your religious affiliation, but your relationship with God. All throughout childhood, I was told by many prophets and seers how destined I would be for greatness. They never mentioned the price I would have to pay in order to obtain it. I have recognized that I was different from my peers and family for the most part of my life. It was not until I became an adult, that I realized just how different I was spiritually. To this day, I am still peculiar to many people, because they do not understand the anointing on my life. It is as though I am on a natural high at times. I always smile, even when I am having a rough day, I still manage to be happy. I don’t always do things the way everyone else does and I don’t always believe what others believe.

For as long as I could remember, I have been a leader in whatever venture I undertook. Following the in crowd has never been my cup of tea. From the time I could talk, everyone knew I could sing. I would always walk around the house singing and acting as though I was carrying a microphone. Music has always been my way of expressing what I desired out of life. Our dad would frequently sit us down and teach us different mysteries in the bible. At that time, we would look at him as though he was crazy. We figured none of the information he imparted into us would matter, besides we were only small children. As we became adults, we began to understand the importance of training up a child in the way that they should go, so as they grew older they would not depart from their teachings. He was constantly drilling us biblically to compete in what we called Young People in Action or Y.P.I.A. for short. The Y.P.I.A. was a bible trivia we held in the holiness church to prepare the youth spiritually. I was always competitive and I hated defeat, therefore I was always prepared. Even to this day, I do not accept defeat very well. For hours, we would listen in amazement when our father would teach us different revelations and mysteries as God revealed them to him. Many of the things my father learned was taught to him by my grandmother Levonia Griffith and my great aunt Florence. I still have memories of the weekends when we would go to Sanford, Florida, to visit my grandmother. My baby brother and I, would play with my cousin Trell and the two of them constantly would stay into trouble. We would run back and forth from her home to my Aunt Ruby’s home, which was a couple of houses down.

My grandmother from my mom’s side, Dean Welch-Hall, also played a great part in helping to groom us. Growing up, I watched her for hours, as she would prophesy to people from far and near with such accuracy and precision. People all over the city, depended on her for her gift. Evangelist Harriet T. Smith, which was mom’s oldest sister, also had the gift as well. She and grandmother had some of the most amazing prophetic gifts that you would ever want to witness in this day and time. The prayer band my grandmother originally started with included awesome women like Mother Wright, Mother Oliver, and Pastor Dowling. I have met many prophets in my time, but none like these women. Watching these women operate, I often thought to myself, When I grow up I want to operate in the gifts of prophecy and healing just like them. If I only knew what I was asking for at the time. We always focus on how easy others make their walk with God look, but we do not always grasp what it took to get them there. These women would have you on the altar all night if necessary. They did not mind praying with you and calling on Jesus, until you really received deliverance. Most churches no longer take the time to travail, because it requires so much spiritually. Now when you go to worship everyone puts the move of God on a time limit. For this reason, people have become spiritually malnourished when they leave the house of God. Many people are not seeking deliverance anymore. How is it that people can party all night and never pay attention to the time, but when they go to worship God, they watch the clock every minute? God forbid if its football season, some preachers cut their sermons and services short, just so they can get home to the game. To make it even more convenient, they have even began having Super Bowl parties at some churches now. We have compromised to the way of the world so much, there is no need for sinners to repent and follow us.

I will never forget how my father had multiple strokes and spent numerous months in the hospital recovering, when I was younger. He could not walk or talk for a months. The doctors even declared that he would never walk again, but God had other plans. My Grandma Lavonia and great Aunt Florence would come down from Sanford many nights to help care for dad while he was in the hospital. We would spend night after night at the hospital waiting for him to recover. Mom stayed by his side the entire time caring for him, assisting him, and praying he would get better. We would have so much fun at the hospital playing video games and doing other different activities, that we never concerned ourselves with questioning whether he would recover or not. Nevertheless, slowly but surely he recovered. After months of therapy to learn to walk and talk again, dad slowly regained his strength. It must have been a turning point in his life because from that point on, he began a road to recover and took God more seriously. To this day, if he never mentioned it, you would never know he had any strokes. God did a divine healing in him and we are all thankful. When God does something, he does it completely and when he heals someone, he restores them completely.

By the time I was nine, I began to show my leadership abilities in the choir and many other areas of the church. I taught Sunday school for the toddlers and they were such busy bodies. Interesting enough, I never wanted to be bothered by younger children, but I enjoyed teaching them. Even now as an adult, I enjoy imparting positive things into the lives of younger women, to prevent them from making the same mistakes I have made. Grandma Dean made sure we knew every position in the church from being an usher, to praying, and conducting praise and worship. Dad eventually left the church to begin a vision of ministry of his own. At that time, he was the only one who could envision what God had given him, so we continued to worship at our family church. Most of my mother’s relatives here in Jacksonville were all affiliated with the church until Grandma Dean passed. We had some very interesting times growing up in that church. Some for the good and some for bad, but one thing you could always look forward to, was a good laugh on Sunday morning. We would sit in church and make fun of the members for hours. Uncle Ren, as we call him, was a very long-winded back then. It was an assurance to get home by two or three in the afternoon. As our stomachs growled, we would all go to grandma’s house for dinner after church. I watched many families come and go within that church and some even came back only to leave again.

By the time I was twelve, I began having visions. I was unsure of what they were, until Grandma Dean explained them to me. I was under the impression that they were dejavue or something. At times, all of the cousins in my generation would gather and play church in my grandmother’s yard and mimic my aunts and other members of the church. That was our idea of fun in those days. Adults should be very careful of what they do and say, especially in church because children are always watching. One day we were all outside playing church and it was my turn to play the preacher. Napoleon, which was my cousin, did the praise and worship and the others were the members. As I pretended to preach, something unusual happened. The spirit of God came upon another cousin Ladale, as she pretended to praise. Initially we thought she was pretending to dance and shout, but this time it was the real thing. Eventually, slain in the spirit, she began to prophesy. At first, we thought something was wrong with her, because it was the first time any of us had witnessed such an occurrence. Afraid, none of us wanted to get an adult. We knew we be punished with a peach tree switch from grandma’s backyard, for playing with God. Frozen we stood there looking, until I decided to run into the house and beckon for grandma and Aunt Carolyn, mom’s sister. When they came, we asked what was wrong with her and they stated it was God using her. It was fun to watch then, because we were children. We were very silly and it never took much humor us. I have always been a clown by nature and never took anything seriously, so with a huge grin on my face I said to them, why is he using her, when was the preacher. Immediately, Grandma Dean gave me a look of correction and said to me, Don’t ever disrupt the spirit of God, when it is flowing. For the first time Ladale began to prophesy, so naturally she became a part of our Sunday morning mimic. We hilariously picked at her every time we saw her. As she matured, so did her gift. A couple of months after that event we were at my grandmother’s home. As usual, my grandmother began to be caught up in the spirit. She sat three of us down to prophesy to us. She would lie across her bed for hours reading her bible and picking her lottery numbers. She revealed to us that we had callings on our lives for ministry. Then she turned to me and revealed the things she saw in the spirit. She had foreseen me traveling, singing, and preaching at a young age. Let me say, that is not something that a twelve-year-old girl would like to hear. Then she told me I would have all boys and that I would get married young. Again, not something I was interested in hearing, especially when I was the tomboy of the bunch. I asked, How come I would be the only one to marry? Again, she only had to look at me and I knew to be quiet. Grandma Dean continued to prophesy to the others revealing that they would not have kids or marry anytime soon. To this day, neither of them has ever been married and one just had her first child in 2010. It was then that I realized that I was created to worship.

Later that year Aunt Harriet died of breast cancer. Like grandma,