Spiritual Terrorism: Spiritual Abuse from the Womb to the Tomb

© 2009 Boyd C. Purcell, Ph.D.. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 4/7/2008

ISBN: 978-1-4343-7888-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4343-7889-7 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4520-1066-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2008902591

Contents

Part I   THE PROBLEM

INTRODUCTION

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

PART II A   THE SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

PART II B   THE SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

PART III   HOPE FOR THE WORLD

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

APPENDIX A

APPENDIX B

FOREWORD

SPIRITUAL TERRORISM Spiritual Abuse from the Womb to the Tomb is an astute analysis of the societal problem of spiritual abuse and how people’s religious faith, formed by their conception of God, can either ameliorate or exacerbate this form of abuse. In reading SPIRITUAL TERRORISM, I was impressed with the author’s ability to reflect in a non-confrontational manner on very sensitive issues without condemning those who disagree with him.

I have known Dr. Purcell for over 16 years as a professional counselor, adjunct faculty instructor, and hospice chaplain. He developed and taught a course on Spiritual Abuse to students earning their Master’s Degree in counseling. Student evaluations of this course have always been overwhelmingly positive. He has worked with me in providing supervision for students completing their counseling practicums and has taught several different graduate classes in the Counseling Department including psychopathology.

As a Christian leader, Dr. Purcell attempts to be a voice for unity among Christians and constructive dialogue with adherents of other religions. His writing style is confident but not arrogant in dealing with negative religious issues in a positive way. Reading SPIRITUAL TERRORISM has broadened my understanding of the Judeo/Christian Faith as well as that of other religions. This is a very positive message of God’s love and justice which our world, racked with man’s inhumanity to man at times in the name of religion, desperately needs to hear, understand, and embrace!

Bob Rubenstein, Ed.D.

Professor of Counseling

Marshall University Graduate College

PREFACE

Spiritual Terrorism: Spiritual Abuse from the Womb to the Tomb is an insightful analysis of the problem of fear-based religion. The author carefully explains mind-altering and life-harmful consequences, illustrated with captivating real-life examples of people—adults and children—who have suffered spiritual abuse and spiritual terrorism. Dr. Purcell contends that the problem is not religion but the misunderstanding and misuse of religion.

As a physician, I can validate his understanding of psychopathology which holds that whatever affects the mind affects the body and whatever affects the body affects the mind. The anxiety which fear-based religion, or any other factor, generates has the potential to depress the human immune system, affect every organ, and impair bodily functions.

Since religion tends to illicit strong emotions, some religious people act in irrational even uncivilized ways—consider the acts of international terrorists. Dr. Purcell is a voice for reason in the midst of so much negative religious dogmatism. His rational approach is reminiscent of the call of Isaiah, the prophet, who said, Come, let us reason together. This is a totally positive conception of God’s love, grace, and justice which needs to be read privately, studied diligently, discussed openly, and debated publicly. This loving and comprehensive understanding of Christianity and other major world religions truly offers hope for our world torn by religious strife.

Lewis Whaley, D.O.

Oncologist

What Others Have Said

As a youngster, my parents who had been frightened with eternal hell-fire preaching and, thus, did not attend church, sent me to church in order to get a Christian education. Hearing that all people go to hell forever who do not accept Christ, I did accept him as my Lord and Savior. I, however, had many sleepless nights fearing that my parents would go to hell since they had not accepted Christ due to fear. I even spent a lot of time trying to think of ways to witness to my parents to get them saved before it was too late. Since Dr. Purcell helped me understand Christian Universalism almost 20 years ago, I do not have such fear and I now sleep in perfect peace.

Sharon Turkaly, CRNA

Anesthetist

My beloved grandmother, who became a Christian as a young girl, experienced the horrible ordeal of having lost her dear husband in an industrial explosion and all five of her children, to accidents or illnesses, ranging in ages from four years to fifty-one. These deaths included my own precious mother who died at the age of 38 of cancer. My grandmother appeared to be very angry with God, though she never admitted it, and would not even talk about God. Therefore, for many years, I feared for her salvation until Dr. Purcell shared with me the Good News of Christian Universalism over 18 years ago. Since then I have had complete peace of mind that my cherished Ma Ma, who died suddenly at 92, is at peace with God reunited with my grandfather and all of their children in Heaven.

Rodna Blain, RN

Neonatal Intensive Care

I was terrorized by hell-fire preaching and had sleepless nights haunted by images of being tortured in literal fire forever. As soon as I grew up, I got away from home and the church. I did not bring up my children in the church so they would not be frightened as I was. I did not want my grandchildren to be reared in the church but after Dr. Purcell shared with me Christian Universalism, I want my grandchildren to be taught the total love of God for all people. As soon as Dr. Purcell’s book is published I will purchase one for myself and one for each member of my family.

Representative Victim of

The Spiritual Holocaust

THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY

OF INNUMERABLE VICTIMS OF

THE SPIRITUAL HOLOCAUST

WHO HAVE LIVED THEIR WHOLE LIVES

AND DIED IN MORBID FEAR OF GOD.

Part I 

THE PROBLEM

INTRODUCTION

READ NOT TO CONTRADICT AND CONFUTE, NOR TO BELIEVE AND TAKE FOR GRANTED… BUT TO WEIGH AND CONSIDER.

When I first saw these words inscribed in large letters along the top of the wall of the then Campus Library at Bowling Green (Ohio) State University, during freshman orientation, I was so impressed with this mindset of reading to learn that I immediately memorized this quotation from Sir Francis Bacon, an English philosopher (1561-1626). This Bacon quote and two others have been especially powerful for me: Who questions much, shall learn much, and retain much. And, Small amounts of philosophy lead to atheism, but larger amounts bring us back to God. Following these words of wisdom has served me well for over 45 years through earning a Bachelor’s Degree, two Master’s Degrees, and a Doctor of Philosophy Degree. Reading with an open, questioning mind led me to even question the existence of God but brought me back to God where I found the truth that set me free from the most extreme form of spiritual abuse—spiritual terrorism!

The spiritual abuse I experienced was not due to my loving, devoted parents but to various, spiritually abusive churches attended, radio and TV evangelists, and Fundamentalist Christian literature. All of these sources have three things in common—a literal and legalistic interpretation of the Holy Bible and mixed messages of God’s love and justice.

If you are a victim of spiritual abuse, this book contains the truth which will set you free as well, if you too read with an open, questioning mind. But, remember, minds are like parachutes—they only work when open! Fear closes minds to truth so it will take courage to read, weigh, and seriously consider the truth you will find in these pages. However, every minute of your time and every ounce of your energy will be richly rewarded with peace of mind and total spiritual freedom! For those of you who have been spiritually abused, without a doubt, this will be the best news you have never heard. It will also be the best news that you will ever hear! If you are among the very fortunate people who have never been spiritually abused, this book will increase your love of God and your service for God in helping other people. It appears that the vast majority of people has been and is being spiritually abused but few are even aware of it. They just assume that it is the way things are or even the way things are supposed to be. They may feel like something is terribly wrong but may be afraid to question the religious system in which they have been reared. Some do question and manage to get out of an abusive church only to get into another one that is little or no better—perhaps worse!

Being a survivor of spiritual terrorism has enabled me to relate to those who have been spiritually abused and to help them find peace with God in over 40 years of service in helping professions. This includes: public school counseling, pastoral counseling, substance abuse counseling, inpatient and outpatient therapy in a psychiatric hospital, my private counseling practice, teaching as an adjunct faculty instructor in the counseling department of a university graduate college, and providing spiritual care to dying patients as the chaplain of a hospice (a national and international organization which specializes in caring for those who are terminally ill).

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, National Board Certified Counselor, an Ordained Minister, and a Board Certified Chaplain. This broad-based education and training has made it possible for me to help the greatest number of hurting people through integration of psychology, philosophy, and theology. The number one reason patients get better in counseling is the Therapeutic Alliance. This is the bond which develops between the patient and the therapist when the patient perceives that the therapist understands and is able to help. Clients are, thereby, motivated to do what is necessary to get well. Victims of various forms of abuse, especially spiritual, have reported this bond of confidence during my lifetime of ministry. In October of 2006, I retired from hospice after 14 years of service to patients, families, staff, and volunteers. Early retirement has given me time to write sharing my spiritual treasure trove of education and experience.

By writing this book, I hope to reach and help even more people find peace with God than I did during my lifetime of full-time ministry. It would, indeed, be gratifying if victims of spiritual abuse are still, through this book, finding freedom from fear and finding joy of living long after I have breathed my last breath and have gone to meet God, whom I grew up fearing as the cosmic tyrant but now love with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength! It is also my desire that the truth in these pages will promote unity among Christians and mutual respect between our brothers and sisters in the human family who are followers of other religions. There is a great deal of confusion and fear about religion, but it does not need to be this way.

The examples of spiritual abuse are all actual people to whom I have ministered. Only first names are used and they have been changed, as well as some details, to protect the persons’ privacy. The only exceptions are where I have used poetry written by patients. In order to give them credit, I got written permission from the patients or, after their deaths, their families. This includes authorization to reveal their status as former hospice patients. I have many more examples but only a relative few could be shared in this limited space. Each example may well represent thousands or even millions of victims of spiritual abuse. Any resemblance to anyone readers may know is purely coincidental. I trust that many readers will see themselves in various examples and find help and, most of all, hope for surviving spiritual abuse, including terrorism.

I started using the terms Spiritual Abuse and Spiritual Terrorism early in the 1990’s. I presented on these topics to counselors, social workers, hospice personnel, chaplains, and other clergy at various local, state, regional, national, and international conferences. Evaluations were overwhelmingly positive. Many participants reported that they had never heard of these terms but recognized that they had been spiritually abused. Some licensed counselors and pastoral counselors realized that they had failed to recognize it in former patients and had, consequently, not been able to help them very much and lacked the knowledge to make a helpful referral. In the spring and summer of 1998 I wrote two articles, Spiritual Terrorism¹ and Spiritual Abuse,² respectively, for The American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Care. These articles also appeared in the journal, Healing Ministry. This was three years before political terrorists, motivated by religious zeal, flew planes into the World Trade Center, bringing down the twin towers, killing about 3,000 Americans and some foreign nationals, on September 11, 2001. Since then The United States has been fighting a global military war against Islamic terrorists. My son is an officer in the military so I am in 100 percent support of him and the U. S. Armed Forces but this is a war which cannot be won by military means alone. In order to win this war, we must understand the nature of it and why the terrorists hate us. I will explain why and what can be done in Chapter 35 on symbolism of fire.

Readers may be surprised to find no use of fear in this book as a means of motivation. Some Fundamentalist and some Evangelical authors seem fond of quoting the Proverb that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Prov. 9:10). Thus, their primary weapon to motivate is fear. Since fear is mental, emotional, and spiritual torment, people can never be perfected in God’s unconditional, everlasting love as long as they are motivated by fear (I Jn. 4:16-18). Motivation by fear is a key factor in some popular Christian books, some of which have sold millions of copies. Depending on how extensively fear is used, some books are spiritually abusive while other books are spiritually terroristic. Even when fear is tactfully used, it is abusive nevertheless. For victims of spiritual abuse, having lived their whole lives terrorized by fear of being tortured in hell-fire forever, using such fear to motivate them will only result in their being even more badly abused—terrorized.

Since I do not use fear to scare people, if love motivates as well as does fear, I will be able to realize the desire of my heart to reach the masses of people, especially children, with the Good News of God’s unconditional love, amazing grace, infinite mercy, and perfect justice. This totally positive understanding of God is truly life transforming.

The language used in this book is gender inclusive except for pronouns in relation to God. Since God is not an it, I have used He, Him, and Himself in relation to God. The capital letter is to indicate that God has no gender. My previous publications have been in a formal writing style but in this book the style is informal. In my counseling practice I have never had a desk between the client and me. I have always had my desk against a wall so I could swivel in my office chair and face the client with no barrier between us. I do not want formal writing to be a barrier between readers and me. I want to have a dialogue with you, the readers, so I have used an informal writing style using the first person I and the second person you. For this reason, I have used a significant number of rhetorical questions to challenge you to think for yourself and to question the validity of what you have been taught about spiritual issues especially the doctrine of eternal punishment. This process might confirm what you have been taught and presently believe or, if you have been abused, it might lead you to the truth which will set you free from fear of God and eternal damnation.

The approach in my book is to be as brief as possible. On some difficult theological issues, I have cited only one, two, or three of the best verses on each side of an issue and then left it to you, the readers, to use your good common sense and the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit to decide, for example, which interpretation—eternal restoration or eternal damnation—makes more sense. If an interpretation of the Bible is true it will probably cause you to feel loved by God. If, on the other hand, it causes you to feel fearful of God, it probably is not true. Biblical fear of God means reverence or a sense of awe, not morbid fear of eternal torture in literal hell fire. Truth will have a ring of authenticity and will resonate with one’s spirit that it is correct— That just sounds right.

This book is written for lay people, not just clergy and theologians. It could be an excellent resource for pastors, chaplains, counselors, therapists, and seminary students. Historically, some theologians have argued about how many angels could dance on the head of a pin. It has been said that if a million one dollar bills were laid end-to-end that they would reach around the world. But if a million theologians were laid end-to-end they would not reach a conclusion. Humor aside, theology is not rocket science; lay people can understand it.

Religious people have done a lot of good in the world. Christians, for example, have helped the poor long before there was government welfare. They have also built orphanages, schools, colleges, and universities when there were no public ones. Many Christians have worked for social justice and other humanitarian causes. Believers of other religions, leaders such as Gandhi, have done the same. But other religious people, including Christians, have done a lot of terrible things such as the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, the Salem Witch Trials and the hanging of women condemned as witches, owning other people—slaves, etc. Religion, as practiced by some, has been and still is one of the most destructive forces in the history of the world. Steven Weinberg, the winner of the Nobel Prize for physics in 1979, who is Jewish stated, Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it, you’d have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things, but for good people to do evil things, it takes religion.³ I contend that the problem is not religion but the misunderstanding and misuse of religion.

I firmly believe, based on the Holy Scriptures, that some day the human race will come to realize that the whole human family was created in love by the one God of love and that we are all brothers and sisters. We are spiritual beings having a human experience to learn how to love and be loved and how to forgive and be forgiven. When we have finally learned the lessons that we are here to learn, mankind will have made the greatest discovery in human history—the power of love! This will be even more profound than the discovery of fire. An entire forest can be set on fire by one spark. Likewise, a world of good can be done starting with only one spark of unconditional love. Religion will, therefore, ultimately become the greatest unifying force for good the world has ever seen!

Through many years of careful study of The Bible, I came to understand and experience the fullness of God’s all-inclusive, unconditional, everlasting love almost 20 years ago. In spite of being a Trinitarian Christian—one who believes in God as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—I have been called a heretic (one who has erred from the faith) by some Fundamental and Evangelical Christians who appeared to be motivated by fear since they believe that God will punish people, including Christians, in hell forever for a lot of things—even for not believing in the doctrine of eternal punishment! I grew up in but am now a refugee from Christian fundamentalism.

Let me make it clear; Fundamentalists are not the enemy. The enemy is fear based on a literal and legalistic interpretation of some parts of the Bible. There are many fine Christians who are Fundamentalists. If you assume that Fundamentalists are bad people who deliberately spiritually abuse people, that is a serious misunderstanding. Protestant Fundamentalists and Catholic Traditionalists are almost always neighborly, hard-working, clean-living, law-abiding, compassionate persons. They are preaching and trying to practice what they sincerely believe that the Bible teaches and are doing their best to prevent as many people as possible from being condemned by God to the everlasting flames of hell. Literalists and legalists are actually victims of literalism and legalism but they are not aware of it nor that their faith is spiritually toxic to themselves as well as to others. Arterburn wrote an insightful book, "Toxic Faith."⁴

Evangelicals tend to interpret the Bible literally but not as literally as Fundamentalists. Some Christians, especially Evangelicals, have even been asking the right questions but many have not yet gotten the right answers. Through much opposition from literalists and legalists who have meant well but who have been badly informed, I have been sharing for almost 20 years God’s totally freeing love with people in need of spiritual healing especially hospice patients.

Warning to readers: If you come to believe in and accept the truth that will set you free, you too may be called a heretic and face opposition. But I can attest to the fact that being called names and facing opposition is a very small price to pay for freedom from fear which results in having peace of mind, purpose for life, and joy of living.

Nothing said in this book is intended to be pejorative, that is, to speak badly about any person, denomination, or religion. I seek to speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15, 25). The words Fundamentalists and Evangelicals may sound negative but I only use these terms to refer to them as to how they refer to themselves. Some Fundamentalists proudly call themselves Fundamentalists; it is like a badge of honor. The word Evangelical comes from the Greek word evangel which means glad tidings or good news. It refers to those Christians who believe that the Bible is the Word of God and who tend to be theologically conservative. The term mainline refers to Christians who are members of traditional Protestant Churches. They too believe that the Bible is the Word of God but tend to interpret the Bible more metaphorically or symbolically. Catholic literalists may be called Traditionalists.

To use a political comparison, Fundamentalists tend to be conservative, Evangelicals tend to be moderate, and mainline Christians tend to be liberal. Labels, of course, do not always fit in politics or religion. There are Christians from various theological and political persuasions in all three denominational groups. There are no clear lines of distinction—one grouping overlaps another one. The Catholic Church is so large that it is home to all three groups. The Jewish Faith has Orthodox (ultra-conservative), Traditionalists, Conservatives, and Reformed (liberals). The same holds true in Islam and other religions. Some Evangelicals and Fundamentalists have pejoratively referred to Christians in mainline churches as liberals. To be liberal, basically, just means to be open minded enough to see both sides of an issue. The late, great comedian, Will Rogers, defined a liberal as a person who is so open-minded as to not even take one’s own side in an argument.

Many things in life such as height, weight, and intelligence are on a continuum. Let us look at some continuums which I have created for understanding Christian diversity.

Fundamental Christian Continuum

Fighting Conservative Moderate Liberal Almost Evangelical

Evangelical Christian Continuum

Nearly Fundamental Conservative Moderate Liberal Universalist

Anglican, Orthodox, Catholic, and Mainline Protestant Continuum

Traditionalist Conservative Moderate Liberal Universalist

The most conservative Fundamentalists, have been called Fighting Fundamentalists. They have been given this name because they take very seriously the admonition to contend—fight (GNB)—for the Christian Faith (Jude 3). Fighting Fundamentalists generally will not have anything to do with other Christians including other Fundamentalists whom they judge to be liberal. For example, they have pejoratively referred to Billy Graham as a liberal, even though he has always preached the message of accepting Christ and being saved before it is eternally too late. They liked that part but, because Graham participated with Christians of all denominations in his crusades and allowed clergy, whom the Fighting Fundamentalists deemed to be liberal, to sit on the platform and pray and read Scriptures, they would not endorse, financially support, participate in, or even attend a Graham Crusade.

Fighting Fundamentalists and many conservative Fundamentalists will use only the King James Version of The Bible translated in 1611. While many people in our country considered the late Dr. Jerry Falwell the classic example of a Fundamentalist, Fighting Fundamentalists called Falwell a liberal because he endorsed the use of the New King James Version of the Bible which put the KJV text into modern English. This was while Falwell was still calling himself a Fundamentalist. In the last 20 years of his ministry, I heard Falwell identify himself an Evangelical.

I have learned in seminars on church growth that the children of Fundamentalists tend to become Evangelicals and the children of Evangelicals tend to become mainline Christians. But sometimes this transition takes place in one generation even in a person’s lifetime as it did in the case of Falwell as well as others. In my own case, I started out in conservative fundamentalism and progressed to evangelicalism. I went to an Evangelical seminary and after 15 years of ministry, personal growth, and post-graduate studies came to believe in Christian Universalism. Yes, there are Evangelicals who do believe in Christian Universalism. Many have rejected the doctrine of eternal punishment but some believe in the annihilation of unbelievers rather than in all being saved. Those opposed to universal salvation have contended that annihilationism is a form of universalism since all will be saved after unbelievers cease to exist. Some Evangelicals have been condemned as heretics, fired, or forced to resign as I was. For almost 18 years I have been preaching the Good News in a mainline Protestant denomination—The Presbyterian Church (PCUSA). Mainline Protestant Churches are open to Christian Universalism as are the Anglican, Orthodox, and Roman Catholic Churches.

Helping Others Altruistically

Today, we hear people who have been successful in various professions, say that they would like to give back to society in general and their communities in particular. Some express this idea of helping others in terms of passing it on. Still others use the concept of paying it forward. Whether the idea is conveyed in terms of giving back, passing it on, or paying it forward, I want to help those who have been spiritually abused. This book is my way of making a further contribution to society. I hope no child will grow up in the spiritual fear which I experienced and that no adult will continue to live in fear of God as I did for many years.

After Jesus’ crucifixion his disciples, Peter and John, were going up to the temple to pray when a lame beggar asked them for money. Peter replied that he had neither silver nor gold but what he had he would give to him. What he had was even more valuable than money. Peter had the God-given power to heal and he healed him (Acts 3:1-6). I have neither financial wealth nor the power to physically heal, as Peter did, but I do have the power to share God’s love and grace which will spiritually heal. I desire for you the joy which I now have. It makes no difference who you are, where you are from, how bad you have been, or how deeply you have been hurt. You can trust God to forgive you of your sins, free you from fear, and give you peace of mind which will enable you to enjoy life to your greatest potential. Thus, what I have I give to you. I will proclaim it from the highest hill! I desire everyone, throughout the whole world, to know the God of unconditional love, amazing grace, infinite mercy, and perfect justice who will ultimately purify, reconcile, and restore the whole creation!

The Nature and Scope of the Problem

Spiritual abuse is a modern problem but also is an old one. Such abuse can be traced to ancient times. In the Judeo/Christian tradition, instances of spiritual abuse can be found in the Hebrew Scriptures, in which greedy priests and false prophets are denounced (Jer. 6:13, 14). In the Christian Scriptures, it takes only a casual reading to see that Jesus had no problem with confessed sinners. He forgave them and befriended them. Jesus was called the friend of sinners. He only had a problem with Pharisees who were the literalists and legalists. Only to them did he speak words of condemnation, such as: blind guides, fools, hypocrites, vipers, and whitewashed tombs [clean on the outside but a stench on the inside] (Mt. 23:13-33). Only to them did he speak such words in order to point out their hypocrisy, literalism, and legalism and to call them to a higher standard of morality and spirituality. Jesus warned of false prophets, who come in sheep’s clothing but who are ravenous wolves (Mt. 7:15).

Two thousand years have passed but virtually nothing has changed on the religious front. It is like the old saying, The more things change, the more they stay the same. Johnson and Van Vonderen wisely stated that spiritual abuse is perpetrated by people in positions of power. Spiritual abuse may, thus, be the result of abuse of power or neglect by religious leaders.⁵ Ken Blue wrote a helpful book, Healing Spiritual Abuse: How to Break Free from Bad Church Experiences.⁶

The Definition of Abuse —Terrorism

From the perspective of the abused, spiritual abuse is the fear, stated or implied, that people are going to be punished in this life and/or tormented in hell-fire forever for failure to live a good enough life to please God and earn admission to heaven. From the perspective of the abuser, spiritual abuse is using such fear to motivate people to do or not do what the abuser desires. In essence, spiritual abuse is any unhealthy mind-altering relationship with the God of a person’s conception which has life-harmful consequences. Spiritual terrorism is the most severe form of spiritual abuse. At its worst, spiritual terrorism has been called by Ryan Elliott, a clinical social worker in private practice, the Spiritual Walking-Zombie Syndrome.⁷ It may thus cause serious mental health problems. Spiritual abuse comes in many forms; it may be obvious or subtle, covert or overt, active or passive. Spiritual abuse may more likely be subtle, covert, and passive while spiritual terrorism, like a flashing neon sign, is obvious, overt, and active.

Even though spiritual terrorism may be, to those who have become aware of it, like a flashing neon sign, it does not mean that most victims realize that they have been or are being spiritually terrorized. They may just believe that frequent sermons on God’s wrath against sin and sinners and eternal punishment in literal hell fire are the way it is supposed to be in their religious faith because that is what they are told the Bible teaches. They may have never even heard that there is an alternative point-of-view or they have been warned against believing anything else. Many hear preaching that the way to heaven is hard, straight, and the gate narrow and only a few will ever find it (Mt. 7:13, 14). They, consequently, live in fear that they will not be one of the few going to heaven but one of the many on the easy, broad way with the wide gate leading to eternal damnation in hell fire!

When I, the chaplain, explained spiritual abuse to an elderly hospice patient, who was dying in morbid fear of God due to having been terrorized, she replied, Spiritual abuse sounds like the content of every sermon I have heard preached in every church I have attended during my entire lifetime! She was able to understand God’s love and grace that I shared with her and die in peace. Multitudes of people have lived and died in terrible fear of God and many more are doing and will do the same unless they are reached with the Good News of God’s unconditional love, amazing grace, infinite mercy, and perfect justice. A fuller explanation and examples of each type of abuse will be given in the various chapters of this book. Spiritual abuse can best be pictured on a continuum.

The Continuum of Spiritual Abuse

Zero……….Mild……….Moderate……….Severe……….Terroristic

Most people have not been spiritually terrorized; however, the majority has been spiritually abused as evidenced by the fact, according to a Gallup Poll, 56 percent of Americans worry about dying without having been forgiven of their sins by God.⁸ This is just the percent of people who admit that they are living in fear of God. The percentage may well be significantly higher. Many people, especially men, may not admit it until they are on their death bed. For most Christians, dying without having been forgiven by God of one’s sins means burning in hell-fire forever. Living in such anxiety about one’s eternal destiny is itself spiritually abusive and even terroristic! Probably billions of people, in various religions, have been and are being spiritually abused. Relatively few, very fortunate, people have entirely escaped such abuse.

Causes of Spiritual Abuse

The underlying cause of spiritual abuse is control. I believe that virtually all spiritual abusers are sincere about what they believe about literal hell fire and in their desire to save sinners from eternal damnation. In this situation spiritual abusers are trying to control people for the people’s own good. But a few abusers are probably trying to control people for the good of the abuser. In that situation the abuser is abusing people in order to build a large following which will increase the leader’s power, fame, wealth, etc. Historically, mistaken and misguided religious authorities, with good intentions, have actually tortured and/or put people to death in order to try to be sure that they were Christians to save their souls from eternal damnation. One of the best examples of that is the Spanish Inquisition in the middle ages. An example in early America is the Salem Witch Trials in which some women in New England were accused of witchcraft, convicted, and hanged in a manner more painful than the usual method of hanging because they would not confess the sin of witchcraft. Today people in America and around the world are being frightened by religious leaders with the fear of eternal punishment to get them to believe right and to live right. But, even if they intend it for the good of those thus abused, it is still spiritual abuse—terrorism! There are three main causes of spiritual abuse: legalism, literalism, and mixed messages.

Legalism

Legalism is a religious school of thought that teaches people they can please God and earn admission to heaven by obeying the rules. It is a system of do’s and don’ts—rewards and punishments. I have learned in psychology that reward and punishment is the lowest level of spiritual maturity in Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development.⁹ Some legalists are very legalistic while some are much less so, but, regardless of the degree of legalistic practice, the mindset is still the same—obey God’s rules—Commandments—or else God will punish you. The ultimate punishment is eternal hell fire!

Literalism

The conjoined twin of legalism is literalism. Literalism is the belief that the Bible or other Holy Book, in order to be properly understood, must be interpreted literally—not symbolically. The main reason so many people live in fear of God is that legalism leaves them feeling like a failure and literalism causes them to fear that they will be punished in the literal fire of hell. Christians particularly fear the eternal lake of fire and brimstone!

Mixed Messages

All victims of spiritual abuse have heard mixed messages about God’s love. They hear the words preached, God loves you. They soon realize, however, that God’s love is very conditional even though the abuser may say that it is unconditional. The rest of the message they hear is that God loves people if, only, but, when, etc.—if they obey the rules, only if they do not sin, but if they live right, and when they are good. The content of the preaching that victims of spiritual abuse hear regularly consists of salvation (get saved before it is eternally too late), commitment (to the place of worship and the ministry), submission (to God and, in some instances, to the leader), giving tithes (10 percent of income) and offerings (more than 10 percent), and prophecy (the Second Coming of Christ, the Mark of the Beast, the Rapture of the Church, the end of the world, and eternal punishment). They hear no preaching, or at most very little, on joy of living, personal freedom, spiritual growth, unity in diversity, or thinking for oneself.

How early in life may a person be affected by spiritual abuse? The answer is—in the womb! We explore in Chapter 1 how this can happen. How long may a person suffer from spiritual abuse? The answer is—all the way to the tomb. The rest of this book deals with the manifestations, long-term consequences, and healing of spiritual abuse—terrorism.

Reminder:

READ NOT TO CONTRADICT AND CONFUTE, NOR TO BELIEVE AND TAKE FOR GRANTED… BUT TO WEIGH AND CONSIDER.

Chapter 1

Tattooed in the Womb

There is an old saying about being tattooed in the womb. Obviously, this is not a literal tattoo but does this saying have any real meaning or is it just an old wives’ tale? The meaning is that the health, culture, and general welfare of the mother have a definite influence on the child developing in her womb. Is there any truth in this belief and, if so, to what extent and in what way(s)? If there is, indeed, truth here, how does it relate to the issue of spiritual abuse? People in centuries past did not have technology and modern medicine but they did have a lot of insight. What they believed has in various ways been proven by modern medical science.

It is a medical fact that a fetus, the developing baby in the womb, floats in a sac of amniotic fluid, attached by a lifeline (umbilical cord) to the placenta inside the uterus/womb. This creative marvel provides for the baby’s food, water, oxygen, and protection. The placental barrier provides a lot of protection but not as much as medical opinion once thought. The baby, floating weightlessly, is protected against most bumps and falls of the mother. He or she is also protected against medicines and diseases which are composed of molecules too large to pass through the placental barrier. However, those with molecules too small to be blocked will pass through this barrier.

Some older readers may remember seeing the news coverage of physically malformed babies whose mothers were taking the prescription drug, Thalidomide. Many of those children had no arms—just hands connected to shoulders. When medical science linked this medication with those horrible birth defects, it was banned by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). In December of 2006, the news services reported that a class of drugs called Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI) has been connected to heart-valve defects in the babies of mothers who had been taking this medication usually for depression. In the same month it was reported that other medications in this family of drugs were linked to health problems of babies. Obviously, I cannot give brand names but readers can do an online word search of SSRI and find brand names and a lot of other information. According to the reports, the FDA is going to require stronger warning labels so doctors can advise expectant mothers accordingly.

Measles is a disease that doctors have long known to pass through the placental barrier. What is generally regarded as a childhood disease may have terrible consequences for the fetus if an expectant mother contracts measles. Fortunately, if a woman desiring to have a child has never had measles, she can get a three-in-one shot: measles, mumps, and rubella (MMR) to immunize her against these diseases before she gets pregnant.

Small amounts of bad things, such as mercury and lead, can have devastating consequences as well as too much of a good thing, such as Vitamin A. The acne medication, Acutance, has a high concentration of Vitamin A. This medication has strong warnings about possible birth defects.

Other things are known to cross the placental barrier or pass through the umbilical cord to the developing baby such as HIV, alcohol, cocaine, nicotine, and nutrition. A mother drinking alcohol, even moderately, while pregnant, may cause her baby to be born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome which causes birth defects and mental retardation. What a saddening sight to see crack babies shaking as they suffer withdrawal symptoms after being born to a mother who is addicted to cocaine! Nicotine is known to cause low birth weight and premature delivery for babies born to mothers who smoke. Preemies often have many health problems as they are growing to adulthood. If mothers have poor diets, unborn babies can take essential nutrients from their mothers’ bodies, such as calcium, from their bones/teeth. But if the mother does not have essential nutrients, her baby’s nutritional intake will likewise be deficient resulting in various physical defects and mental retardation.

It was announced on ABC Radio News in March of 2007 that research has shown that boys born to mothers who ate large amounts of meat (as opposed to those who ate more fish or little or no meat) had a significantly higher incidence of sterility. The cause, it was reported, is the steroids ranchers used to feed the cattle in order to make them grow and gain weight as fast as possible.

Sounds also cross the placental barrier. A baby in the womb, apparently, can recognize the voice of one’s mother and be calmed as she soothingly talks to her baby. This works for singing softly as well. Studies have shown that unborn babies do respond to voices and to music. They may also be startled by loud noises.

By now you may be thinking that this is all very interesting but asking, How does it relate to spiritual abuse? That is a very good question. The answer is that whatever the mother’s physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual condition is her baby will be affected accordingly. The mother’s total environment becomes her baby’s as well.

There is another thing which crosses the placental barrier and which may profoundly affect unborn babies—stress. There is a growing body of evidence that the stress of mothers affects the development of unborn babies. The Mayo Clinic website is a good source of information. There is research on tracing stress back to the womb. Tests of saliva of children, born to mothers who were highly stressed, have revealed high levels of stress hormones. What causes stress? Life in general, parenthood, marital conflict, divorce, loss of job, lack of: food, money, health care, security (crime/war/housing), feeling trapped, panic disorder and various types of abuse: physical, mental, emotional, sexual, verbal, and spiritual. The tissue damage from physical and sexual abuse may be seen and photo documented but one cannot see the damage done by mental, emotional, verbal, and spiritual abuse. What about spiritual abuse? Can it be fairly compared to physical and sexual abuse?

Comparison of Spiritual Abuse to Other Forms of Abuse

Spiritual abuse alone, depending on the degree of abuse and how long it lasted, can be a very emotionally painful experience. Unfortunately, spiritual abuse is often not alone since it frequently is part of other forms of abuse, including physical and sexual abuse. In combination with other forms of abuse it may be especially harmful to a person’s total well being. Spiritual terrorism, the most extreme form of spiritual abuse, may be more mentally and emotionally devastating than any other form of abuse. What? How is that possible? Does not this statement minimize and trivialize other forms of abuse such as physical and sexual which, at least on the surface, appear to be far more serious? This is certainly not meant to minimize or trivialize other forms of abuse, which are all serious, but to put it in perspective. Every other form of abuse is limited to this life. Those who are spiritually terrorized live in abject fear that they and/or loved ones will be tortured in literal hell fire forever! They daily live in a mental and emotional prison. It is often spiritual abuse/terrorism which makes other forms of abuse possible in the first place, for them to be as bad as they are, and for the victims to not even try to escape because, with their perverted conception of God, there is no escape and, therefore, no hope. Richard Groves, a Catholic and the author of The American Book of Dying: Lessons in Healing Spiritual Pain, stated that Hopelessness pain is a terminal illness for the human spirit.¹ With all other forms of abuse God may be seen as a source of comfort, help, and hope. Since spiritual terrorism creates the greatest sense of hopelessness, God, for the spiritually terrorized, is the ultimate Terrorist!

I am not saying that there would be no other forms of abuse if it were not for spiritual abuse. As I have said, all other forms of abuse, however bad they may be, are time limited. Physically and/or sexually abused children may be removed from an abusive home by a relative, a teacher, a neighbor, etc. calling the police or child protective services. Children may be able to run away and get help from the authorities. Children, as they get older, may be able to fight back and/or call the police themselves. But if the abuser is telling abused children that they are being punished for being bad and if they tell anyone, try to run away, call the police, or fight back that God will judge them and burn them in literal hell fire forever, they are very likely going to endure the abuse. Since they are taught that God is everywhere and sees everything, they believe that they can run but there will be no place to hide. I certainly am not saying that I was abused in any other way, shape, or form apart from spiritual abuse; I most definitely was not. So that there is no misunderstanding, it is of the utmost importance to distinguish between spiritual abuse and all other forms of abuse.

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