How to Lose a Black Woman
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About this ebook
Bruce Williams feels truly blessed. He is a college educated young man with a career he loves. He has amazing friends and looking from the outside, has a perfect life. Asking Bruce, he’ll say he was incomplete without a special woman in his life to love and spend his life with. After a few failed attempts the traditional way, he starts using Social Media and dating sites to find his true love.
How To Lose A Black Woman is a semi-autobiographical look at relationships and how one wrong turn could destroy one. Through an uncomfortable search, he eventually finds someone who could be his true love but an argument about an ex and the wrong decision causes his world to spiral out of control. He learns a lot about himself and relationships along the way. He uses the short window of time he must fix what was broken before the relationship is deemed beyond repair.
This book personifies a few of the aspects of the modern relationship from Bruce’s point of view. Filled with original poetry, Bruce journals his mission as a teaching tool for others. He’s not perfect nor does he make himself out to be. His journey is all his own right or wrong and he takes his adventures as a learning experience.
While it’s a good story about one aspect of the human spirit, the lesson isn’t for everyone but everyone can see at least a small part of themselves in the book.
H.D. Campbell
H.D. Campbell has been writing all of his life and has over thirty years of experience in the writing industry with his first book, How To Lose A Black Woman (second printing published in 2018) and his book took off from there. In addition to starting this Paranormal Romance series, H.D. Campbell has three more series under his belt: Contemporary Romance titles including How To Lose A Black Woman (currently on sale) and Geraldine (second printing coming soon); Mystery/Suspense including Late Murder @ 10 (currently on sale) and Garth The Virtual Killer (third printing coming soon); Espionage Thriller including The Sergeant Wiseguy Chronicles (second printing coming soon) and The War-Hawk/Biological Threat (second printing coming soon). To learn more about his books, his editing business or his shows, please log on to www.hdcampbell3.com and the Hard Drive Publishing website is coming soon as well.
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How to Lose a Black Woman - H.D. Campbell
How To Lose A Black Woman H.D. Campbell
HOW TO LOSE
A BLACK
WOMAN
H.D. Campbell
Hard Drive Publishing
St. Louis, Missouri
Cover By Delon Anoshi Hagood
www.queenanoshi.com
H.D. Campbell Productions
St. Louis Missouri
Copyright © 2018 by H.D. Campbell
All rights reserved. No part of this book or cover may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publishers, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review to be printed in a newspaper or magazine.
Second Printing
ISBN: 978-0-359-00299-3
PUBLISHED BY HARD DRIVE BOOK PUBLISHERS www.hardrivepublishing.com
COVER BY DELON ANOSHI HAGOOD www.queenanosi.com
Printed in the United States of America
DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to some of the most important people in my life. While I can’t mention you all, you all hold special places in my life.
Tara E. Campbell:
After my first wife passed, I never thought I’d find true love ever again. Then you came along out of nowhere. You not only helped me move past my hurt, but you taught me how to love again. To love is to feel and to feel is to express. You have become my muse in so many ways. God has truly blessed me with you as well as my wonderful children and grandchildren: Skyler, Jerrod, Ariina, Naythaniel, & Nayrissa.
Skyler Campbell:
You have been there since the day our life changed December 2010 when we lost your mother. I harbored so much guilt over that day, but you gave me a reason to live. You are growing up so fast, just know you are loved. I love you so much and know that you will always be my world and partner in crime.
Velma Campbell:
To my dear late wife --my soul mate, inspiration, and special lady. She's the one who encouraged me to finish the manuscript. Velma knew how much I believed in a strong, committed relationship. Mere words aren't enough to dedicate and honor her memory.
Shirley & Jimmie Westbrook:
My parents are so wonderful. I grew up without a father, but with other male influences in my life. When I was fifteen, my mother met Jimmie. He's been a great positive influence in my life. Those two have been great and this dedication won't even begin to thank them for all they have done for me.
Shelbert & Mattie Creswell:
Two of the best grandparents anyone could have. They've bailed me out of a lot of situations. My grandfather always told me to work hard for anything I want in life. He also taught me to use my ever-working mind to its full potential. My grandmother taught me resourcefulness and how to treat others. Together, they taught me to be tough where it counts. While you two are no longer with us, your memories and the wisdom you instilled remains within all of us.
Anthony Hawkins:
My one and only brother. He's someone I've always admired because no matter what is going on his life, he makes due. He’s someone with a mission--to be as happy as he can be. Like brothers, we used to fight a lot, but we've always been close. This book is for you, buddy.
INTRODUCTION
Bruce Williams is a successful college educated African-American man with a solid. He has great friends and an amazing gift of poetry. The one thing missing is a woman to love. A life partner whom to share his life with. Someone to love.
Being the organized person, he is, Bruce sought dating sites and social media as part of his plan. He will soon learn true love doesn’t include instructions with some assembly required. Though his motivations are different, the outcomes will give him various results in which he must make a choice to either compromise his motivations or change his plans to accommodate his search.
Sometimes we make acts in desperation instead of being patient and allowing time and God to be a part of the plan. This leads to mistakes and bad decisions. Will Bruce make his decisions based on desperation or will he stick to the plan modifying them with each change? Bruce doesn’t like change and while he adapts, he doesn’t adapt well.
In addition, you will meet a few of Bruce’s friends who rely on Bruce for advice on a lot of subjects key to the book and future books. In addition to his adventures in love, Bruce’s poetry and prayers throughout the book provides him and his friends motivation. Journaling his entire process, Bruce takes us on his own personal journey throughout.
Will he find her?
HOW TO LOSE A BLACK WOMAN
I am a black man who can use and abuse;
And that's okay with me!
I will cheat and milk for all I can get!
One way to lose my black woman.
I will beat you up and slap you down!
I will father your babies and run away!
Babies popped from New York to California!
And I don’t give a—.
I will sex you and won’t promise marriage;
Because you'll keep giving me your wet wayward love.
When your weight gains and that booty shrinks, I'm gone like the wind;
As your beauty fades, I will too!
I won't keep a job; and don’t ask me to help around the house
Because I can and will be irresponsible!
I will manipulate the soul of your mind and heart!
And that's how I will lose my black woman!
And what does God say about all this?
This is not what He made me to be.
Our partner, she should be honored!
She was put here to be honored by me.
The touch of her black skin;
The power of her black soul!
The top of her head to the bottom of her feet;
She is my powerful black QUEEN!
Instead, we turn you are our slaves and sexual playthings;
Pieces of property and minor inconveniences…until I’m ready for you again!
But God has a better plan for us both,
To be joined in perfect harmony.
Who are you to disrespect my black woman?
The queen of my existence!
She is someone's black mother...
Someone's black daughter...black sister.
Who are you to disrespect our black sisters?
The ones who bore our children,
Cooked our meals,
And kept our too-cool selves out of trouble!
How to lose a black woman?
Just keep talking that trash driving her away!
To gain a black woman...
That's to honor one of God's greatest creations.
THE BLACK WOMAN!
'Nuff Said.
PROLOGUE
Bruce Williams
Going to work feels good but coming home feels even better. I love my job and my twenty-five kids but when Friday gets here, it feels good to be childless again.
On Fridays, I take off my teacher hat and I take Friday nights out with my boys. I enjoy that time because we get to talk a lot of smack, drink a little bit and possibly get to meet a female or two. Our favorite place is Big Daddy’s on Laclede’s Landing. There I can also get my eat on because a brother loves to eat.
I enjoy hanging out with my friends and we get into the most trouble together. First there’s my boy S.W. He’s the smooth talking mack of the group. Now whether he has a girl to take home is not always in the cards for him. He works for the government but can never really disclose what he does. Like me he’s six even with a few muscles, short haircut and short mustache. I know his job has him traveling because he’s absent from some of these Friday nights.
Next there’s my boy Mark Alexander, a crime reporter for the St. Louis Post Dispatch. In addition to covering all the violence in St. Louis, he also gets the big cases throughout the city: the serial killers, the kidnappings and the occasional organized crime cases. He’s about five, nine bald and is so smart he doesn’t miss a beat. He’s very observant when it comes to everything else except when it comes to figuring out females. He’s the backup advice guy who’s serious when it comes to his grind but when it’s time to have fun, he lets loose. Also, he’s the designated driver because for some reason alcohol doesn’t affect him with his mind still sharp.
Then, there’s my best friend Andre Johnson. He’s a double threat within himself. By day he’s a child abuse investigator for the State of Missouri and after he clocks out he’s St. Louis’ self-proclaimed most notorious player. He’s the Yang to my Ying. While I want to settle down with a wife and children one day, he lives in the moment claiming to never want to settle down.
Being a player for him gives him a chance to blow off steam after a long day of work. He investigates some of the worst cases of child abuse. He’s been on the job for over seven years and within those seven years, he’s closed the most cases. While he achieved work success, he admits that the cases are very depressing and letting loose after work is his only outlet. Though I do one day want him to settle down, I don’t bother him about his player mode.
Being six, four and muscular because he lives in the gym, Andre is built like John Cena. His hair is waved and he’s medium brown skinned with turquoise eyes. Between his eyes, his build, his condo in Clayton and his fully restored 1974 Coup Deville, Andre attracts more women than all of us put together.
Tonight, I took a break from being out with my boys drink but tonight, I needed a night to myself with my feet up feeling my blessings thus far. First my wonderful studio apartment in the Central West End. I could have chosen a bigger place but, it’s just me for real and I don’t take up that much room. I make decent enough money and I’d rather throw that into savings rather than more room somewhere else.
Then there’s my bachelor’s degree in education from St. Louis University which led to my teaching job at Holy Rosary Catholic school where I used to be a student. God is good. I am a seventh-grade homeroom and English teacher. I have twenty-five of the best kids around though they can be a challenge sometime. Don’t let the term Catholic School fool you.
The only area I’m lacking is that special someone to spend the rest of my life with. I feel this is the only area in which I have yet to be blessed in. I mean I have a problem finding dates. It’s trying to find someone to settle down with long term in the problem. Either I’m too picky or I just haven’t found her yet. I know we all have some baggage, but I tend to find the women with the going around the world luggage.
Andre sometimes say I act like Eddie Murphy’s character in the movie Boomerang. Now while I’m into women with nice feet like the character, but I am realistic to know there are no perfect women. There is just a woman who’s perfect for me out there.
Don’t get me wrong. I’ve had a ton of relationships some good, some bad. Some I messed up and some were messy on the female’s part. I’m just chalking it up to experience in my love search.
Every night, I chill with the Quiet Storm on my stereo or some of the MP3 love mixes on my PC fantasizing about my future true love. Luther, Teddy P., Whitney, Patti, Ready For The World, Jodeci, New Edition and more inspire me to not only find my ladylove but to also help me to become a better person myself for her.
I’m not picky. I want a clean woman who knows how to take care of her feet. Just like a woman judges a man’s cleanliness by the shoe he wears, I look at the quality of a woman’s feet. Besides being an obvious fetish, if a woman doesn’t take care of her feet, it’s an indication that she doesn’t take care of herself because even the busiest woman takes good care of her feet because she likes to look nice.
She doesn’t necessarily need to have a college degree, but she needs to at least finish high school and able to carry a conversation. I love to talk about a wide range of subject from movies to politics and more. My conversations can go from the most serious to the super funny.
My friends try to flood me with tons of advice and some of it is cool. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t know everything and is key to taking advice. I just feel not all advice applies to me. The advice I ignore include pickup lines, dumbing myself down, or walking and talking a certain way. My high self-esteem prevents me from being someone I’m not. What I am is a six-foot bald man two hundred, eighteen-pound man who goes to Club Fitness twice a week and once on the weekends. I have light brown eyes and clean shaven with my medium brown skin.
My outfits of choice are always either suits or casual wear from Men’s Wearhouse, Citi Trends, Milano’s Men’s Clothing and Marshalls. My shoes are always either Nike or Stacy Adams.
I keep my clothes sharp, my looks and hygiene on point and my drama at an extreme low. Again, I don’t mind baggage, but some women have made me a party to the drama from day one. I’ve had women who started dating me while neglecting to tell their significant others first. Other women wanted me to handle their family drama from day one or leave me to deal with it without all the information.
Nope, can’t do that.
Then again, we as men play games too. A lot of the wayward advice includes saying and doing anything just to get between a woman’s legs. I’m not saying sex doesn’t feel good, that shouldn’t be your only motivation. What happened to being you lady’s best friend? What happened to you being her strength? Her shoulder to cry on? These and many others are what we both need for a relationship to work.
I don’t know why any woman wouldn’t want to date me.
I have my own apartment my friends say I need to leave sometime other than just the weekends.
I don’t have a lot of hang-ups women think we have.
I have no children other than my fourth graders...
I’m not on the down low…
I don’t have a criminal record...
I have a car….
And I have a steady job...
I don’t beat up on women and have no desire to cheat. On the flip side, I would like a woman with some self-esteem. While I don’t mind building up my woman, I would love for them to be completely over their ex before seeking a new relationship. I have