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    Fire, Brimstone and Chocolate Cake: The Dramatic Life of a Demon Princess, #1
    Fire, Brimstone and Chocolate Cake: The Dramatic Life of a Demon Princess, #1
    Fire, Brimstone and Chocolate Cake: The Dramatic Life of a Demon Princess, #1
    Ebook130 pages2 hours

    Fire, Brimstone and Chocolate Cake: The Dramatic Life of a Demon Princess, #1

    By Mina Carter

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    About this ebook

    Escape hell. Save the world. Simple, huh?

    My name's Jynx. This morning I was a princess of hell.

    Now I'm it's most wanted.

     

    After a coup in hell, Lucifer's niece, Jynx Morningstar, is on the run with the king of hell in her back pocket (in handy stone doll form) and a hellcat with delusions of grandeur. To save her uncle and by extension, hell and the world above, Jynx must evade the legions of hell, master her human magic and track down her father: a healer witch.

     

    Simple. Yeah, right....

     

    What she doesn't expect is to walk into the middle of a shapeshifter/vampire turf war, a sexy as sin alpha werewolf who claims she's his one true mate, or to actually care what happens to the residents of small town, Boring.

     

    But when Death comes a'knocking she must make a choice. Go big and reveal what she is, or go home and leave them to their fates... A demon would leave them in a heartbeat, but can Jynx rise above her demon blood and prove what a true princess of hell is made of?

     

    Please note: contains high amounts of snark, an adorable werewolf looking for true love, a demon princess trying to avoid 'feelings' and a viking-wearing hellcat.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMina Carter
    Release dateSep 13, 2018
    ISBN9781386114635
    Fire, Brimstone and Chocolate Cake: The Dramatic Life of a Demon Princess, #1
    Author

    Mina Carter

    Mina Carter was born and raised in Middle Earth (otherwise known as the Midlands, England). After a slew of careers ranging from logistics to land-surveying she can now be found in the wilds of Leicestershire with her husband, daughter and a cat who moved in and never left. Suffering the curse of eternal curiosity, Mina never tires of learning new skills which has led to Aromatherapy, Corsetry, Chain-maille making, Welding, Canoeing, Shooting, and pole-dancing to name but a few. A full-time author and cover artist, Mina can usually be found hunched over a keyboard or graphics tablet, frantically trying to get the images and words in her head out and onto the screen before they drive her mad. She's addicted to coffee and Dairy-lea cheese triangles.

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      Book preview

      Fire, Brimstone and Chocolate Cake - Mina Carter

      CHAPTER 1

      My name’s Jynx.

      In a former life I kicked puppies…

      Or kittens. Or something. I must have. Otherwise I wouldn’t be staring down Satan himself on the subject of marriage.

      My own.

      No, I’m not in the midst of some drug or drink-fuelled psychedelic dream. I wish I was. I’m stone cold sober, standing in the throne room of hell arguing with my uncle Lucifer (yes, that Lucifer) about the fact I am in no way, shape or form taking a trip up the aisle and getting myself leg-shackled to anyone.

      No, absolutely not.

      Yes, that was definitely my voice ringing out loud and clear, and I was speaking English, not some weird and wonderful language only spoken in some obscure pocket of hell way off the beaten track. Not that it would matter if I did. Uncle Lucy spoke them all since he created the place.

      And by absolutely not, I mean absolutely-no-fucking-way and not a cat in hell’s chance. Clear enough for you? I demanded, glaring at my uncle and standing my ground.

      He glared right back. There are few things more suicidal than arguing with the devil… no, wait, there is nothing more suicidal than arguing with Lucifer, the king of hell, himself. After eons in charge, he doesn’t take kindly to anyone saying no.

      But this was my ass on the line… literally. Especially as my proposed bridegroom apparently had a thing about back door action. One thing was for sure. Assgroom was so not getting any with me. Ev…er.

      I don’t think you heard me correctly. Lucy smiled that damn devil’s smile, the one that said he was just going to keep pressing until he got what he wanted.

      I smiled right back, keeping all the bristling rage and fire within me under control. The ends of my hair might have started to smoke and curl, a sure sign I was about to lose it, big time, but I ignored it in favor of keeping eye contact. Steely, give-a-rattlesnake-a-headache eye contact. There’s no one who does a stare down like a Morningstar… two of us? The sky might just fall in before one of us looked away. It’s a good job we’re in hell. This place is warded against shit like that.

      No. I got you loud and clear, bub. You want me to marry Gerald here. I flicked a sideways glance to the guy standing next to me, whose name wasn’t Gerald, and suppressed a shudder. Not because he was hideous, far from it. Nabzon was, in a word, beautiful. Like supermodel, middle page of the glossies, total lady-boner burn out the BOBs beautiful.

      I’ve lived in hell since I was born. The half-breed daughter of a mortal warlock and the devil’s sister, I’ve never set foot out of the place. Too dangerous apparently, and Uncle Lucy is big on looking after family after his first one screwed him over.

      When I was born, the first princess of hell in millennia, he declared the mortal world off limits to me. So I’ve been brought up amongst demons and hell-creatures. Warts, tentacles and scales don’t faze me. Neither do horns or tails (when I get really pissed, I’ve got both. I’m told they’re cute) but good looks? No, make that freakishly handsome, smooth good looks… freak me the hell out. No pun intended. In my experience, those who look the most wholesome and normal hide the most depraved souls and perversions.

      So, Nabzon, with his smooth skin and fuck-me handsome looks… left me completely and utterly cold.

      Huh? Nabzon frowned, his lips pursing into a perfectly kissable pout. My name isn’t Gerald.

      Ignore blond-but-dim, I snapped at my uncle, whose attention was starting to waver. "I am not getting married. Certainly not to Alfred. Even down here, you need a bride’s consent… and I don’t consent. So not consenting. Ever."

      My name isn’t Alfred either.

      But, pookie… Uncle Lucy’s voice drew out into a whine. You’d make the perfect couple—

      I lifted my hand, cutting him off mid-sentence. My hair was really beginning to smoke now, and I could feel my horns aching, trying to break through. Since I’d just had a wash and blow-dry this morning (Marius down on the second levels… that man is a genius with hair, let me tell you. Good hairdressers down here are so hard to come by that as soon as the guy landed, we totes bypassed processing and got him set up in a salon.) that pissed me off more than anything else.

      "No, no pookie. No couple and definitely no wedding! Unless you want me to call the mom? Tell her about your plans to marry me off to Marvin here."

      "It’s not Marvin either…"

      I folded my arms, eyebrow arched as I pulled the ultimate trump card. Mom. My mom. Lilith, to be precise… Lucifer’s twin sister and, pretty much everyone agreed, the more powerful of the two. It was only the fact that she had the attention span of a hyperactive squirrel and a tendency to blow things up that meant hell had a king, not a queen. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t up to taking Uncle Lucy to task in a variety of unpleasant and painful ways if he did something she didn’t like.

      Such as marry off her only daughter against her will.

      No… I don’t think that will be necessary, he said carefully, transferring his attention to Nabzon. Sorry, Vincent. Wedding’s off. Now that’s out of the way. Who’s for steak? Lucifer clapped his hands together, looking smug and satisfied.

      But…but… my lord? Nabby argued, his ingratiating voice grating on my last nerve. I looked at him in disgust. My fingers itched with the need to toast him with a healthy dose of hellfire. Uncle Luce looked at me sharply.

      Pookie… he said warningly.

      Nabzon was a demon and an arch-duke of hell, which meant he could call hellfire and cast it, but Morningstar’s didn’t just call hellfire… it ran through our very veins, hiding just beneath the surface. Which meant I could give tall, blond and demony next to me a bad rash in a very nasty place that no amount of soothing cream would ease.

      Play nice.

      I huffed and then smiled broadly, taking his proffered arm and ascending the dais to the throne. Turning, I sat down next to my uncle and looked down. Nabzon stood where we’d left him and I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out, instead offering him a small, only slightly triumphant smile.

      For a moment he seemed frozen in place, utter rage in his suddenly black eyes. The malevolence there was so complete I started to suck in a breath. But then it was gone as though it had never been and he smiled, all oily and slick.

      Of course, my lord. It is, of course, a disappointment. To be married into such an illustrious family as the Morningstars… He bowed almost in half, his forehead almost brushing the dusty marble at his feet. I wished I was still standing down there. It would take only the slightest jostle to smack his head into the stone, perhaps a lick of hellfire… Uncle Lucy’s hand closed over my wrist and he shook his head without looking. I hid my smile. He knew me so well.

      Nabzon was still talking, straightening up to rake his gaze down me. His stare was so oily I felt the instant need to take a month-long bath. In lava.

      And to have such a beautiful woman as your niece in my bed, writhing under me as I impale her on my c—

      I snapped my fingers, and a thin line of hellfire snapped out. Nabzon squeaked, his ass jerking forward, and his face going white and then red.

      What was that? I asked sweetly, reeling in my fire and twining it around my fingers. Yes, I’m a total bitch. Sorrynotsorry. I’m a Morningstar. What did you expect?

      Nothing, my lady, Nabzon muttered, making another low bow and waddling from the throne room quickly. I snorted as I realized, when he turned around at the last moment, that my assgroom had made his escape with his ass hanging out of his pants. Literally.

      I grinned.

      It was a good day to be a princess of hell.

      Two days later my uncle hadn’t mentioned Operation Get Jynx up the Aisle, which could mean one of two things. He’d either forgotten all about it, or, equally likely, he was playing the long game and I wouldn’t see his next move until it was too late.

      At least, that’s what he thought. Lucifer might be the king of hell and have eons more life (or death) experience, but I was from the same bloodline. And right about now, I was fucking paranoid. Nothing would get past me. At least, that was the plan.

      "There’s really no need to have a taster for everything, Your Highness," the nasally voice of the court majordomo, Baulor, sounded in my ear. "It’s not like a proper demon needs to resort to poison. That is what you fear, yes?"

      No, I didn’t fear poison. Even as a half-mortal, my demon blood was strong enough to burn anything dangerous out of my system before it did too much damage. But it would put me out of commission for a while, and it was that downtime I worried about. There were things out there that meant Uncle Lucy could get me to agree to anything. I might find myself married off to something way worse than Nabby.

      So, I was taking precautions. On everything.

      Baulor sighed impatiently in my ear. I do have other things to attend to, Your Highness, so if that’s all…

      Sorry… I… ca-…er you. Ar…you…ere?

      I stuttered as I tapped the spell orb over my ear, grinning broadly as the demon on the other end of the line squeaked. Interference on a spell-line was a bitch, really fucked the hearing up, sometimes for days.

      Did I care? Not a jot.

      Baulor was an officious little rat of a

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