Lost Without You: The Chasing Olivia Series Book Two

I do, a familiar voice says, and the hair on my body stands on end. As if in slow motion, I turn toward the source of the voice. There stands Chase with his hands on his knees, struggling to catch his breath. I do, he repeats. Straightening, he looks directly at me.

What are you doing here? I half-shriek. My heart races, from both excitement and fear.

You can’t marry him, he says firmly, walking toward us, until you hear what I have to say.

There is nothing left to say, I say softly, and look at Brenda. She takes a few steps back. Staring at her feet, she shifts her weight from one foot to the other.

Oh, but there is, he says simply. Evan glances in my direction, his eyes refusing to meet mine.

There is nothing you can say to stop me from marrying Liv, Evan snarls at Chase, taking a few menacing steps toward him. Chase stops, and plants his feet firmly on the ground.

That’s great, but you weren’t the one I was trying to stop from making a mistake, he says to Evan, then turns to me. "You’re correct. Technically, there’s nothing I can say, but, there is something she can say," he says, turning to look behind him. There, standing in the shadows of the trees, is my ex college roommate, Brandi. Slowly, she makes her way toward us, a smug smile on her face. I look at Evan and his face falls, his eyes filled with panic.

Evan, she murmurs.

What are you doing here? he whispers, his eyes wide, like a deer caught in headlights.

Chase told me you were marrying Liv, she says, her voice filled with contempt. I need you both to know something first.

What is it you need to say that didn’t warrant a phone call? I ask.

This is between me and Evan, she replies, keeping her gaze locked on his.

No, I want to know what dragged you all the way down here. Turning to Chase, I demand, Why is she here?

If it wasn’t important, I wouldn’t have flown all the way down here with her, he says softly. I glance at Evan, but he remains quiet, frozen. The pause in his actions and lack of response tells me all I need to know. He has nothing to go on, which means everything that has yet to be said is true. His eyes shift to Brandi before connecting with mine once more. The panic is gone, acceptance left in its wake. I fight the urge to shove him away, to cause a scene rivaling the one already cast upon us. He lied to me.

Whatever you need to say, say it, he growls, still looking at me. Then we can move on and I can marry Liv.

You really want me to do this here? she asks, lifting a brow. Evan, turning to stare directly at her, nods his head. She shrugs her shoulders. I’m pregnant.

The words hang in the air like a pungent smell. I look at Evan in shock.

How long have you known? I whisper, my heart freefalling and shattering to the ground.

The doctor says I’m about three months. The news slices through me.

What? I ask, barely able to get the word out. I turn to Brandi. But, I thought…

He told you it was a one-time thing, a big mistake, she laughs as she continues my torment. Well, he lied. We’ve been together for a long time. A wave of nausea begins to overtake me, my head spinning from the truth that’s been staring me in the face for months.

You lied to me! I scream. Again!

Liv, please, listen to me. I love you, he implores.

The day you answered Olivia’s phone, I told you I would figure out the truth. I knew you couldn’t be trusted, Chase’s jaw ticked, his hands clenched in white-knuckled fists. I won’t let you hurt Olivia again.

I turn my attention to Brandi. How long? I manage to whisper.

How long what?

How long have you been together? Was it before I caught you? I look at Evan, tears streaming down my face.

She shrugs her shoulders in defeat. Yes, way before. Maybe a year or so. I gasp, placing my hand over my mouth.

I take a few steps back, toward the path that led me here. Before you proposed, I asked if you had seen her, and you adamantly said no. You lied to me. Straight to my face. You said it was a one-time thing. That it was a mistake, ‘a very big mistake’, I quote. With every sentence, my voice becomes increasingly louder, and I become angrier. Brandi spins, pinning her gaze on Evan.

A mistake? she snarls.

Why? Why go through all this trouble? How can you say you love me when you can’t be faithful for even a second?

Liv, he stutters. He has nothing to say. No argument to win. It’s time for him to accept defeat.

A wave of emotions wash over me. Mostly rage. Over and over, he’s ripped out my heart, and what’s worse, I let him. Well, no more. I need to get a handle on this situation before I explode.

This is over! I shout. I can’t believe you lied to me again! I am so done with you and your bullshit. I don’t even want to breathe the same air as you, I hiss.

Liv, wait! Evan pleads, reaching out for me.

Without looking back, I run down the beach toward the hotel, away from everyone.

Olivia, wait! Chase calls from behind me, but I don’t wait. I don’t want to talk to him either. Olivia, please. We need to talk.

I stop and turn to him. Why? I ask through tears. What can you possibly say?

I’m sorry.

That’s it? I’m sorry? Sorry for what, that my life is in shambles? Sorry for doing the exact same thing Evan did to me? Sorry you got caught? What exactly are you sorry for?

That you are this miserable. I hate seeing you in pain.

"You’re part of the reason I’m in so much pain. You, I say, waving my arm behind me, are just as bad as he is!"

Olivia, what you saw and what you think you saw are two completely different things, Chase whispers, running his hands through his hair.

I know what I saw.

No, he says, his tone soft. Tell me what you saw.

I saw a beautiful woman coming out of your apartment half-dressed.

Yes, that is correct. But there’s more, things you couldn’t possibly know.

"What else is there? She was coming out of your apartment, buttoning her shirt."

He takes a deep breath and exhales through his nose. That was my ex, Natalie, he says, resigned. He motions for me to sit on one of the benches along the path, but I fold my arms over my chest and raise my brow. Knowing this is the best he’s going to get, he sits and looks up at me. Remember when I left Fire Island in a rush?

I nod my head.

She was the reason. We broke up just before I met you. We weren’t together long, but long enough for me to realize she was bat shit crazy. I move toward the bench, still not sure whether I should sit down or run. She called me that evening to tell me she was pregnant and needed me. Naturally, being a gentleman, I rushed home so I could be with her. Not too long after I got there, I found out it was all a rouse to get me back. She was never pregnant. Sitting down next to him, I concentrate on his voice.

She must have made a copy of my apartment key, considering I never gave her one. The day you saw her, she let herself in while I was taking a shower. When I came out of the bathroom, she was lying on my bed. Naked. I picked up her clothes and threw them at her, demanding she leave. She pleaded with me to take her back. I told her I was in love with someone else. Wait, does he mean me—in love with me? He continues, and I don’t try to stop him. She was still dressing when I chased her out of the apartment. When I realized she still had the key, I came out to get it back. That’s when you saw me.

I stare down at the ground, fidgeting with my fingers. So, you never—

It’s only been you since that day you walked into me at Davis, he says, taking my hands and cutting me off.

I look up, straight into his big, beautiful eyes. They're a true blue, with ripples of rich sapphire, and little specks of emerald glistening through them. There isn’t a single thing I have witnessed that could possibly be more beautiful. I had a dream. You were in your office with a blonde similar to Natalie, and she was lying across your desk. I walked in, and you uttered those exact same words: ‘Liv, it’s not what it looks like’. I panicked, I say, my voice barely a whisper. Chase strokes the inside of my palm with his thumb.

I understand, I would have questioned what I saw, too. He brings my hand up toward his mouth and places a soft kiss on the back.

How did you find out I was here? I ask, knowing in the back of my head what the answer would be.

Brenda called me, told me you were getting married.

Probably not one of my smartest choices, I murmur.

He had everyone fooled.

I feel so stupid, more so because I didn’t see it when I was dating him in college. Over a year, I sigh. Closing my eyes, I try to push away my pain, to no avail.

What? he asks.

I need time. I need to process everything that’s happened today, I say. He tilts his head, as if he doesn’t understand. I need to go back to my room.

Whatever you need, he whispers, running both hands through his thick hair. I stand up, gather my wedding dress, and walk toward the entrance of the hotel. I feel his eyes burning through me, but I keep walking, not having the courage to look back.

I scuff the tip of my shoe along the boardwalk. In the span of ten minutes, I went from marrying one guy, to another professing his love for me, and now I’m walking into the hotel alone. The same hotel I was supposed to spend my honeymoon in—the same hotel Evan will be coming back to. As I walk through the glass doors, I head straight to the front desk. I can’t go back to that room, where I might run into Evan. I can’t look at him right now. He played me for an idiot, all while he was having an affair—and he wasn’t even using protection.

My anger washes over my face in a hot wave, but I clear my thoughts and focus on getting into a new room. A nicer room. Maybe a presidential suite, on Evan’s tab, of course. Smiling to myself, I politely ask the clerk for a manager. A short, stout man comes out from behind a closed door.

Can I help you? he asks.

Yes, I say, my head held high. I just got married and we have decided to upgrade our room.

Certainly Mrs… he pauses.

Gallagher, I respond. He looks at the computer screen, clicking and scrolling, nodding to himself. Yes, we have the six hundred square foot king bedroom suite with balcony and ocean views available.

That will be perfect, I beam. I will need the other suite as well. For guests, I say, thinking of how else I can make Evan’s bank account miserable.

Of course. He smiles as he hands me a key card. I will have the suite ready for you in half an hour.

Excellent.

Swiftly rounding up my bathroom necessities and clothes, I throw everything into my bag and check the room over once more before leaving as quickly as I came in.

I rapidly make my way to the other side of the hotel and open the door to my new suite. Dropping my bags near the end of the bed, I move toward the hotel phone and dial Brenda’s cell.

Hello, she murmurs.

It’s me. I switched rooms.

Oh my God, are you okay? she asks, her voice unusually high.

No, not really, I mutter. I should have known, right?

I knew he was up to no good, but I didn’t see that one coming, she says, still in shock.

They deserve each other, I say.

Want me to come over?

No. I’m just going to sit here and listen to the ocean for a while. The new room has a balcony overlooking the ocean. Evan is going to be pissed when he sees the bill. I manage a small giggle.

Good. The cock-sucking douche bag deserves it.

Where are you?

Sitting on the beach, listening to Evan and Brandi fighting.

Still? I ask, surprised.

Yup. If I didn’t want to kill him, this would be entertaining. She is ripping him a new asshole, she chuckles.

Come by tomorrow morning. We can have some girl time before heading back to reality.

What’s the new room number?

After giving it to her, she says good night and I hang up the phone. I slide my hand over my lap, feeling the silk of my wedding dress one last time before stripping it off and letting it pool on the floor. Stepping out of the dress, I throw it in a crumpled heap on the chair in the corner, half of it falling toward the carpet, and move to pull out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt from my bag. After changing, I slide open the glass doors to the huge terrace and plop myself on one of the lounge chairs.

Breathing in the salty air from the ocean, I try to relax, try to clear my mind, but the events from today swirl around, almost consuming me. Tears roll down my cheeks as the weight of what could have been falls heavily on my shoulders. I almost married a man who had been lying to me for years, and in turn, almost lost a man who is truly good to me—good for me, in every way.

I allowed Evan to make me doubt everything I felt, and now I don’t know what’s real anymore. I sniff, wondering if I can even trust Chase. I want to, but I’m so unsure of what to feel.

Feeling drained, I move to the king size bed and wrap myself in the duvet, just wanting to forget it all and sleep. I haven’t slept well since Evan asked me to marry him, which should have been a sign. I should have listened to my gut. Swiping the remainder of tears from my cheeks, I will myself to stop crying. Evan doesn’t deserve any more of my tears, and Chase…well, I’m not sure about him.

The bright sun shining through the glass doors rouses me. I blink several times before rolling from the bed and stumbling to the bathroom, kicking my wedding dress on the way.

I hear a knock at my door as I exit the bathroom and open it to find Brenda.

Good morning, she smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.

Hi, I murmur as she walks past me.

Do you want me to do something with that? she asks, motioning her head toward pile of tulle on the chair.

No, I’m going to donate it. Do you know if Evan left? I ask.

Last night. They were still fighting when they got in the cab, she says, smirking.

They are so perfect for each other, I giggle. Her face shows signs of relief as her lower lip twists into a smile. You don’t have to walk on eggshells, you know. I’m really not that upset.

Good, she breathes. What do you say we go get breakfast? She glances at her watch. Or lunch.

It’s Sunday, I believe they serve brunch. I can definitely use a mimosa.

Me, too.

After eating, we relax at our table on the beach, enjoying the beautiful afternoon. The waves crash along the shoreline as the warm sun beats down on our faces.

This is so nice, I don’t want to go back, I mutter with my head tipped back, soaking in the rays.

Hmm, is all she says.

It’s too bad I have to go back to work.

Hmm.

I drop my head to take a sip of my mimosa before leaning back and closing my eyes once more. I guess I can miss one day of work, stay here another day. It’s paid for, after all, I continue, chuckling under my breath as I imagine the look on Evan’s face when he sees the charges from the hotel on his credit card statement.

I have to be at work on Tuesday, she mumbles.

Okay. We’ll catch a flight back together tomorrow. I’ll check on times later. I open my eyes to take another sip and they land right on Chase, sitting at the bar. His eyes are hidden behind designer sunglasses, but when I catch him looking in our direction, he subtly flinches, as if he knows he’s been busted. Chase is over at the bar, I mutter to Brenda.

Will you put the poor bastard out of his misery and invite him over? She jumps up out of her chair, flailing her arms frantically. Yoo-hoo, Chase! Over here!

Good fucking lord, she knows how to get someone’s attention. My cheeks are on fire and I bury my head in my hands. If he can’t see me, I’m not here. What the fuck are you doing? I whisper, glancing at Brenda, trying to contain my laughter.

What I should have done months ago, she answers, still flailing her arms.

Stop it, you’re embarrassing me!

Oh, Liv. I can do a lot worse than this. See, here he comes.

Good afternoon, ladies, he chuckles, clearly entertained by Brenda’s antics.

Please, take a seat. Brenda motions toward an empty chair.

Thank you, he says, sitting so close to me, he could be on my lap. How’s your day going so far? he asks both of us, but he’s looking right at me. I can see his eyes hiding behind his Ray Ban’s.

It’s been fantastic, Brenda beams.

Yes, it’s been nice, I murmur into my now empty glass.

I planned on taking an early evening sail to watch the sun set. Why don’t you ladies join me? he asks with a tone I can’t quite place. It’s somewhere between hesitant and pleading.

Oh my God, that would be great! Brenda says with the enthusiasm of a child at a birthday party.

Chase turns to me. Olivia, what do you think?

Sounds like fun.

2

After heading back to the room to change, we wait in the lobby as instructed. Brenda, in her cute floral dress, stands next to me, fidgeting with her purse and mumbling profanities under her breath. I quirk my eyebrow at her, and ask, Lose something?

She huffs and grips the bottom of her purse to spill the contents onto the hotel lobby couch, frustrated. I can’t find my phone in this behemoth thing. I need a smaller bag. Why would you let me buy this? It’s so impractical, like the place where things that never want to be found again go.

Let you buy it? Since when have you listened to me about anything involving fashion, I say, playing with the cuffs to my sweater.

Relax, she scolds. Just be yourself, and let whatever happens, happen.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice someone exiting the elevator. Chase strolls out with a confident swagger, causing my breath to hitch. He has on a pair of khakis, a white polo golf shirt, and those soft leather flip flops I love. God, he is beautiful.

All set, ladies? he asks with that boyish smile I was