Short Orders: Food Stories and Travels

SHORT ORDERS:

FOOD STORIES AND TRAVELS

Marty Martindale

a.k.a. Margaret Leora Burleigh-Martindale

AuthorHouse™

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© 2011 by Marty Martindale. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 06/07/2011

ISBN: 978-1-4634-1730-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4634-1729-1 (ebk)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011908952

Printed in the United States of America

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and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

RESTAURANT RITUAL

Habitual restaurant visitors are fascinating, sometimes mysterious.

FEASTING IN RIO CIRCA 1980

When slaves’ feast of necessity

goes first-class

COCONUT RITE OF PASSAGE

Not just food, but so much more!

ACME BEAUTY GRADUATION DAY

Biotin is their secret.

A JUG, A MEAL AND A POEM

The land provided everything but the vino.

SHAMAN’S SAVVY

It took a bonfire feast to pull it off.

BELGIUM’S ACCIDENT-PRONE HORTICULTURIST

How a new vegetable was born

CAN-DO CHEF

Food is yeoman’s work.

CARVIN’ THE BIRD

What would a family gathering

be without food?

THE CHOCOLATE PASTA TEST

It’s all how it melts. But, it’s usually

our favorite food!

FIRST-TIME NUDIE

When food takes a back seat.

BUCKET LIST CROSSING

Poseidons and fresh fish from

Portuguese waters

COMMERCIAL FOR A SALMON DINNER

Foods and their boxes

CULINARY ALCHEMY

There will always be new things

to do with food.

DEMONSTRATION DEBBIE

Vegetarian convert

CULINARY SUITE

Better be glad most recipes are tested.

DINNER AT BARNEY’S

What’s a good soup kitchen without fresh-baked bread for dunking?

EATING CAN BE DANGEROUS

Preventing every dirty place from

entering your temple

DOGGY BAG LADY

Meal planning in a restaurant

FOR FANS OF THE NEW YORK TIMES’ WEDDINGS/CELEBRATIONS

Petit fours at four at Foggy Bottom

FORAGING WITH THE WILDMAN

New York’s bountiful patch of greenness

INTERNATIONAL PINEAPPLE FRENZY

Awestruck by a fruit

GREEK ISLAND MEMORY MAKING

Something about a Mediterranean

waterside café

GIBRALTAR’S COMFORT FOOD

Wars forge permanent eating habits.

GOOD LIFE MOUSE

A bit to eat and a place to hide

GREEK TO TAMPA BAY

Potato salad mystery solved!

HAGGIS ON TRIAL

She knew he was right, but

she did it, anyway.

HAPPY KITTEN DIARY

The milk of human kindness

NEVER A LIFELONG FULLBACK

Running a popular restaurant

makes one sort of a star.

JAYSON’S PARENTS

Too little food can ruin things.

JAZZ BREAKFAST

A Big Easy, pre-Katrina reflection

LOLA’S CHAGRIN

Food will keep one alive. Sex won’t.

INFERNO SIMPLY WAITING

Contrasts in fine cruising

LUNCH BREAK LET-DOWN

And a carry-out detour

LOVE SONG TO A GRILLED CHEESE

So gooey!

MANICURISTS’ SECRETS

Food and a tip will usually do it.

MISSISSIPPI MUD-MOUTH

Jes’ good eatin’

MASCARPONE MONDAYS

Too much of a yummy thing

NO BAGGAGE

Strange dining acquaintances

MILLION-DOLLAR REFINERY

Food processing most simplified

MORNING PERFORMANCE

Weekly supper celebration

MR. CHIN’S EGG ROLLS

Cultural food bump

VICTORY SAUCE

Necessity is almost always the

mother of intention.

RHODE ISLAND FRIENDS OF THE GOVERNOR

The corn smut disaster

SAMPLING THE GOOD LIFE

Fine living gets complicated.

SHARED COMMUNION

How ho-hum snacks can

derail anonymity

SOMETHING FROM THE NYOTAIMORI?

The world’s never-ending quest for

unusual serving trays

SUPERBOWL IS EATING TIME!

TV tells us to spend big bucks on treats.

We do it.

WE COOKED MEXICAN!

It is possible to organize a bunch of novices and still get things done.

TATTOO TABOO

Different cravings for different folks

THE BUSH DOCTOR WHO WROTE IT DOWN

Cures can be very simple.

THE CHUTNEY MAKER

Such latitude!

THOMAS JEFFERSON, THE FOODIE PRESIDENT

He grew it, he enjoyed it, but

he never cooked it.

THE WEDDING PARTY

Good scarfing is so much fun.

THOSE ITALIANS AND THEIR BRIGHT-COLORED GELATOS

Smoother and can have less calories

THREE-IN-ONE DINNER PARTIES

So many special occasions demand

menu repetition

THE SOUTHWEST’S OWN FOOD

Fred Harvey’s girls made the

chili express happen.

TRIATHALON, THE CAKE

Cooking always looks good on anyone’s qualifications list.

TURKISH DELIGHT

Even whirling dervishes eat.

WHEN FABRIZIO’S IN THE HOUSE

While some speak in parables,

Fabrizio speaks in recipes.

HE PLANS THE BEST PICNICS!

And, he thought she was so perfect!

ZUCCHINI POWER

Bet you can’t grow just two!

FOR FANS OF IRON CHEF AMERICA

Food frenzy dramatized

Dedicated to:

My kids, JoAnn and Brad

PREFACE

Some of us: Live to Eat

Others: Eat to live

No matter your choice, it is a solid fact; food and eating are very central to our existence whether we are at work or play. What we choose to eat, how we shop for groceries, all the fun times we plan usually include food. To share the joy of abundance or the anguish of hunger is to know ourselves. Food shapes every aspect of human activity.

SHORT ORDERS attempts to bring out little incidents in people’s lives. You will note that food and eating are involved in every one. Some of the places and characters in the stories represent far-away places for a reason. I did this because I want to show, anthropologically, how people nourish themselves. No matter where they live, their skin, their livelihood, people do their best according to their climate, learned ability and means. Once we attribute these considerations to all people, we see no one is very different.

I also like to quote Margaret Visser, and this is from her Much Depends on Dinner: The Extraordinary History and Mythology, Allure and Obsessions, Perils and Taboos of an Ordinary Meal. Food is everyday—it has to be, or we would not survive for long. But food is never just something to eat. It is something to find or have or cultivate. Margaret goes on to explain that throughout most of human history man has devoted himself to searching and procuring food. She maintains that it was only after we felt secure about food supplies, that we become civilized. She ends with, Food shapes us and expresses us even more definitively than our furniture or houses or utensils do.

Shall we begin?

You will enjoy SHORT ORDERS more if you take time to notice how central food is in our lives, sometimes subtly, sometimes not so subtly.

RESTAURANT RITUAL

Habitual restaurant visitors are fascinating, sometimes mysterious.

Luigi Bartone was no longer married. Widower? Divorced? No one knew. One thing everyone knew was Luigi’s mama did some very strange Italian cooking for him when he was young, and he still liked it very, very much.

At least five nights each week, Luigi showed up at Banjione’s Café at exactly twenty after six. Angelo Banjione always saved the third booth from the rear for Luigi, who always sat facing the kitchen.

Every night he ordered the same dish—fettuccini cooked just under al dente. The only sauce he wanted was bittersweet chocolate, perfectly melted. Atop this, he needed eight whole, white anchovies. Once his dish arrived at the booth, it had to be a perfect temperature. Then Luigi would withdraw from his pocket a small plastic bag. In it were a tiny shaver and a piece of imported Fontina cheese. Very carefully, he created delicate cheese curls, which landed gently onto his anchovies, basking in the rich, rich chocolate. With his meal, he ate just one Enrico’s anise biscotti, which he ceremoniously dipped into a glass of Angelo’s best Barbera deep red wine.

Angelo said the name of the dish was called Fettuccini II Cioccolato y Boquerones. Luigi disagreed. That’s why they never talked. This meal made Luigi very happy, which meant he was happy five nights a week, and Angelo’s staff enjoyed making their faithful customer so happy so often.

Winna-winna, Angelo would say.

One night Luigi arrived late. It was seven, and he brought a woman friend. He wore a coat and shirt and led her to the second booth, not his usual.

The woman seemed Italian. She was small and kept looking down. Was she his sister? Everyone wanted to know, but knew they wouldn’t find out. Luigi rarely spoke to anyone.

Angelo ordered for his companion as if they had discussed it beforehand. She would have Walnut Oil Pesto with Red Swiss Chard over Linguini, very al dente and topped with chopped almonds, no cheese. No bread. No wine. Only water.

For some reason, Luigi did not order his usual.

Bring me Ruote Wheels, lotsa olive oil and meat marinara, no topping, no cheese, no bread, no wine, only water.

They did not talk as they waited. They hardly look at one another. He wiped his mouth nervously, unnecessarily and often.

She examined her fingernails minutely. They each sipped water occasionally.

Three or four weeks went by and Luigi Bartone never came in for his usual Cioccolato y Boquerones. Angelo began reading the obituaries looking for Luigi Bartone, but didn’t find him there. He even asked his staff if anyone knew where Luigi lived. No one did.

Seven months later, the stern little woman, the one who ate Walnut Pesto with Luigi, came in alone and sat in Luigi’s third booth from the rear. She faced the kitchen and ordered Fettuccini Cioccolato y Boquerones, one Anise Enrico Biscotti and a glass of Angelo’s best Barbera, only she brought her own imported, rosewood handled truffle shaver plus her own imported Fontina. She carefully made thin little curls of the cheese, which sifted down onto the very dark chocolate, over the white anchovies, over the chocolate, over the fettuccini. She became a Monday evening regular.

After six months, the little woman quit coming in for her fettuccini. Angelo couldn’t check the obituaries for her name. He also didn’t need to stock bittersweet chocolate anymore.

FEASTING IN RIO CIRCA 1980

When slaves’ feast of necessity

goes first-class

Rio had a very strong sense of when the world seemed much larger and money was far more plentiful. Kings,