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    A Separation Survival Guide for Military Couples: Practical Principles for Protecting Your Marriage While Separated
    A Separation Survival Guide for Military Couples: Practical Principles for Protecting Your Marriage While Separated
    A Separation Survival Guide for Military Couples: Practical Principles for Protecting Your Marriage While Separated
    Ebook138 pages1 hour

    A Separation Survival Guide for Military Couples: Practical Principles for Protecting Your Marriage While Separated

    By Dr. Cregg L. Chandler

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Families and friends learn how to better understand the dilemma faced by military couples and how to help them cope.

    Explore the interconnectivity of critical issues many military families are confronted with.

    Consider practical solutions to one of the most crucial threats facing relationships in the military and potentially the world.

    Learn how to protect your relationship from extramarital affairs while maintaining commitment to your spouse.

    Learn how to successfully survive the devastation associated with family separation.

    Learn how to use a necessary tool for any couple to strengthen their relationship during short- and long-term times of separation.

    Explore the painful journey of many families.

    Help yourself understand the extreme difficulties of family separation; assist others with simple practical principles in coping and successfully surviving the experience.

    Learn how to help others avoid pitfalls that can ruin their relationship.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherWestBow Press
    Release dateFeb 28, 2012
    ISBN9781449740191
    A Separation Survival Guide for Military Couples: Practical Principles for Protecting Your Marriage While Separated
    Author

    Dr. Cregg L. Chandler

    For many years Dr. Cregg L. Chandler has been concerned about families. He has served in various ministries in local communities since the 1980s, and has served in the military for over twenty-eight years.  While serving as a chaplain’s assistant and as a chaplain, the author became very concerned and alarmed after seeing the pain and suffering in the military community.    He personally understands the demands, sufferings, temptations and the struggles of the military and the civilian community having counseled numerous couples and individuals with pre-marital, marital, personal, family and other concerns.   He received his Doctorate of Ministry from Regent University and has recently published a documentary dissertation on the same subject matter, addressing the issues of family separation.  The author currently lives in South Carolina with his wife of thirty years.  He has recently retired from military service and continues to serve in ministry, assisting individuals, families, and veterans in his local community.      

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      Book preview

      A Separation Survival Guide for Military Couples - Dr. Cregg L. Chandler

      Copyright © 2012 Cregg L. Chandler

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

      WestBow Press books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

      WestBow Press

      A Division of Thomas Nelson

      1663 Liberty Drive

      Bloomington, IN 47403

      www.westbowpress.com

      1-(866) 928-1240

      Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

      Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

      Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

      ISBN: 978-1-4497-4020-7 (sc)

      ISBN: 978-1-4497-4019-1 (e)

      Library of Congress Control Number: 2012902523

      Printed in the United States of America

      WestBow Press rev. date: 02/23/2012

      CONTENTS

      Introduction

      Acknowledgments

      Abbreviations

      Chapter One:

      Chapter Two:

      Chapter Three:

      Chapter Four:

      Chapter Five:

      Chapter Six:

      Work Cited

      About the Author

      To my late father, who inspired me to this day by observing his life example. To my mother, who continues to love, encourage, and support me. To my wife of thirty years and my two children for their love and support. To my eight siblings, six remaining, who continue to encourage and support my efforts. To my aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, in-laws, and all my extended family members. To my church family and friends around the world who always encourage, pray, and support me.

      If you are thinking about infidelity or having an extramarital affair;

      If you are thinking about jeopardizing your marital commitment—

      Perish the thought!

      Don’t even think about it!

      Introduction

      I was compelled to pursue further understanding of the suffering and pain of military families due to frequent deployment and family separations. During my tour of military duty as a chaplain, I have observed and experienced the myriad difficulties that couples have had to endure. I also wanted to know if current programs were effectively addressing issues and helping families.

      This book is a small portion of a major dissertation that I have undertaken to address issues concerning family separation and its effects on military families. Marriages in civilian communities have been significantly affected by problems in society (e.g., crime, violence, financial dilemmas). Military marriages often deal with these same issues, yet the problems are exacerbated by frequent family separations due to temporary duty (TDY) assignments and deployments. Deploying individuals and their spouses who are left behind to maintain the household typically face great difficulties in dealing with separation. The impact is compounded when children and other family members are involved. This separation of military families also causes frustration. Military agencies are attempting to deal with these concerns by implementing helping programs to assist families in a variety of ways. An effective approach to these problems is critically needed by today’s military leaders, family support professionals, and especially the military families.

      Many approaches to these problems, such as intervention programs, merely treat the symptoms rather than the causes. These problems must be addressed with an emphasis on preventative methods rather than mere intervention programs. In this project, I have approached the research issues qualitatively. The process involved interviews with professionals concerning the dilemma of family separation. The ultimate goals of this project were to address the issues of family separation and to provide a separation survival guide for military couples. The outcome of the project describes and discusses many critical issues that families encounter during what have become frequent family separations that have devastated numerous military couples. These separations have also precipitated an increased number of infidelities, divorces, and suicides amid myriad other concerns. The project’s survival guide provides leaders, couples, and other family members with information, insights, awareness, and instructions on surviving family separation in addition to avoiding pitfalls that would produce increased frustration leading to the destruction of military families.

      Acknowledgments

      I’m forever grateful for the tremendous encouragement and support from the faculty at Regent University. A project of this magnitude cannot be accomplished without support, advice, expertise, and encouragement throughout the process. My initial encouragement came from Melissa Falk, who has inspired me during this process, even though extreme circumstances came about to deter my endeavor. Dr. James T. Flynn and Dr. Mara Crabtree have been an integral part of my continuance in pursuing my passion for this project. I thank God for their impressive wisdom and advice. I’m mostly thankful to God for inspiring me to approach this endeavor at Regent University and to undertake this area of study concerning helping families survive during demanding times.

      I’m eternally appreciative and grateful for the support of Gwen, my wife of thirty years. She remains constant in all my endeavors, in spite of the many trials, tribulations, and adjustments that we’ve gone through. We have served as partners in ministry in local churches for twenty-seven years, including the last nine years in military ministry. I am also thankful for my two children, Jason and Britney, who have labored with me in ministry since their childhood. They are now journeying on in their ministries, careers and academic pursuits.

      I thank God for my father, the late Rev. Clarence B. Chandler Sr., who left a legacy of faithfulness to God and to the ministry to which he was called. I also deeply appreciate my mother, Margaret Chandler, who continues to encourage and to support me in my endeavors. Additionally, I appreciate the encouragement of my family members and friends. I am forever grateful for the cooperation, assistance and support of many of the leaders at Shaw Air Force Base and other military affiliates.

      I wanted to acknowledge Apostle Lawrence Bogier who is the overseer and leader of the Original Tabernacle of Prayer Fellowship in Goldsboro, North Carolina. He was significantly involved in my spiritual development, which provided a strong foundation for my ministry. His ministry provided initial ministry licensing, allowing me to practice ministry locally and to continue to endeavor in ministry while serving in the military globally. Pastor Bogier’s life, ministry, mentorship, and leadership have left a profound impression and impact on my life as a pastor, minister, and servant of God.

      I would also like to acknowledge and appreciate Pastor Lee and Sue Boss who are pioneers and current leaders of the Victory Christian Center of Austin, Texas. I am forever grateful for their leadership example, for their mentorship, and for giving me the opportunity in ministry to labor with them on staff, which subsequently prepared me for ordination and connected me for the military chaplaincy and ongoing pastoral ministry. My family and I will be eternally grateful for the incredible experience at Victory and the remarkable love that they’ve shown toward us.

      I am eternally thankful for the chaplaincy endorsement of the Chaplaincy Full Gospel Churches (CFGC) under the leadership of the late Dr. Jim Ammerman, who provided mentorship, leadership, and perpetual support throughout my military chaplaincy. I will forever remember and appreciate CFGC for the years of experience, wisdom, and courage to embrace ministry challenges in the military and in the community ministry efforts.

      Abbreviations

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