Kingman 1971: Part Iii : Kingman Ranch

Chapter One

Thunder

I just can’t get rid of you can I? He asked with a loving smile.

Nope. Anna assured him, straightened his hair with her fingers, kissed him and sighed, I like being right here with you. I love you, Sam.

Oh hell! Sam suddenly exclaimed, I’d be willing to bet Brent’s having a really bad time with this. This is the first storm since he’s been home.

Maybe we should go for an early morning walk and find out. Anna replied, We probably have nothing to worry about. If we hear any amorous noises we’ll quietly walk on back and set in the solarium for awhile.

Good idea. Sam agreed, finished his coffee, sat the empty glass on the bedside stand, got up and put his clothes on.

Anna watched as he slipped his shoulder holster on and checked the 45 to make sure it was loaded. It was a habit, she knew; another way to keep her safe. It was not unwarranted; there were always wild animals prowling around somewhere.

Are you ready, cowboy? She asked with a loving smile.

I wonder how many people know? He asked softly as they walked into the solarium.

Know what? Anna asked softly.

That you’re the light of my life. Sam replied wrapping his arm around her as they stepped out onto the back patio and locked the doors.

I love you too, Sam. She said lovingly as they started walking eastward on the back walkway toward Brent and Jamaica’s, Who do you think it is? Is it one of our closest friends or someone who knows us very well?

What are you talking about? He asked as innocently as he could and commented, All that stuff was taken care of weeks ago.

Sam, Sam, Sam, Anna said shaking her head, We’ve been married for 25 years. I may be blonde, but I’m not stupid.

No, you’re not; and if I implied that, I’m truly sorry. Sam said softly, I’d never try to say anything like that. It’s no one on the main compound. I’m positive Jake has the key locked away in her head. What tipped you off?

You guys took way too long plotting the maps of Vietnam and laying out the pictures. Anna told him, Once you unlocked the key it was a simple process for the four of you to place everything. You were finished in 24 hours or less.

There were over a thousand pictures, including the art work. Sam told her.

Whatever you say. Anna shrugged with a knowing smile.

So who else has it figured out? He asked curiously.

Amy, Brenda, Carol and I for sure, Anna told him, You’ve done too many strange things lately.

Like what? Sam asked curiously.

Oh, Anna sighed, Like the raid on the Hammonds. The Sam Kingman we know would have waited until nightfall, done everything very stealthily, then given Sherriff Tillman, Simon and the F.B.I. credit for the whole operation. You’d claim you were only helping law enforcement officials and never put yourself at the forefront; unless you were trying to draw an unknown enemy out into the open.

I was mad as hell, Sam tried to explain, Worried Brent would go after them. Just ask Jen.

You were mad and worried about Brent; that’s true. Anna replied, Fifteen or twenty years ago I might have believed you were just that mad. But when you get mad you think, plot, plan and execute an attack just like you do a military operation. You’d use minimal resources for the most effective result, with the least possible casualties. You didn’t use a minimal force. You used overwhelming force and firepower. The Hammonds were outnumber at least two to one and you went in with the full southwest ranch team. A flea couldn’t have gotten out of town without you knowing about it, allowing it or stopping it. You had the whole area shut down.

Damn, you’re smart. Sam said with an admiring smile, What about the kids?

There’s simply no question Jen knows something’s up. Anna answered softly, "She reads you, her uncles and brother like a book. Brent, I’m not sure about. He’s pretty focused on anything affecting Jamaica, Jennie or the children. If I read his art correctly, he’s working on it. He’s a lot harder to read now than he was a few years ago.

Jamaica has been here over 11 years. She’s been unloved, battered and abused. Her mind isn’t working to its full potential because of her injuries. She’s terrified something will happen to Brent. Physically, she’s a wreck. Her mind is just now beginning to work. How she’s doing so well is a mystery for the ages. If she doesn’t keep eating properly so her body and mind can continue to heal, her mood swings will get much worse. What could happen would be tragic. She may suspect something, but doesn’t have her full faculties to apply to the situation.

What about Alicia, Cassandra and Karen? Sam asked.

Karen is very smart and absolutely in love with Carson. Anna replied, "She reads Carson like a book, just like Peggy Ann reads Simon. So if she doesn’t know already, she soon will.

Cassandra has her fathers’ eyes, her mothers’ instincts and their quick minds. She may not know precisely what’s going on; but she knows a military operation when she sees one. Don’t forget she’s a soldiers’ daughter, widow and wife. I think she and Alicia are very aware. When do you think this will all break, be over and done with?

We’re waiting until we’re sure we have the leaders. Sam confessed, We need the key people, then it’ll be a joint operation; military, federal, and state. It’ll break very soon; one way or the other.

That’s huge? Anna sighed.

Yes it is. Sam answered.

So the Hammonds were one cell of a large paramilitary group? Anna asked, The raid was to make everyone think you’d dropped your guard and lost your temper; that you believed Jamaica’s attack was an isolated, racially motivated incident. But you know as well as I that it was only the tip of the iceberg.

This group is a real threat, Annie. Sam replied seriously, We want to make sure we get them all.

Anna nodded in acknowledgement of the seriousness of the task and threw her cigarette aside as they rounded the back corner of the of the pool area.

Brent sat on the porch steps fumbling unsuccessfully for a cigarette from his robe pocket. As they entered the trellis area they could see he was drenched in sweat and shaking. Anna took a cigarette from her pocket, lit it and handed it to Sam. Another sheet of lightening burst through the sky followed quickly by the crackling of thunder ripping through the night. Brent flinched, shook and covered his ears with his hands.

Shouldn’t you be inside? Sam asked calmly as he placed the cigarette between Brent’s lips.

I hurt her, Dad. Brent wept, trembling, as his father sat down next to him, She says I didn’t, but I know I did. I could have killed her. What am I doing to her, Dad? I love her so much.

Anna patted Brent on the shoulder and walked into the house.

Jamaica was standing at the sink, shaking; trying without success to pour Brent a glass of tea. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her hands shook so violently the fluid spilled over the side into the sink. Fear and confusion showed through her entire demeanor. She sat the items down, grasped Anna tightly and wept.

Let me do that. Anna sighed, calmly took the glass and pitcher and set them on a hand towel away from the sink.

I let him down, Momma, Jamaica wept And now I can’t even pour him a glass of tea.

He thinks he hurt you. Anna told her while handing her a damp towel to wipe her face with and asked, Did he?

No. Jamaica sniffed, It all happened so fast it frightened me; that’s all. The light flashed in the room, he rolled on top of me, then to the floor. I don’t know how he managed, but he kept me on top of him when we landed and he pushed me under the bed. By the time the sound hit I was under the bed. It was incredibly swift. I didn’t have time to react. There isn’t a scratch on me.

I bet it scared the hell out of you. Anna commented and hugged her tightly, It sure scared me the first several times.

He’s so fast, Momma. Jamaica exclaimed trembling, He managed to protect my whole body. It was much faster than when he killed that man in the hospital. With the medication he’s on, you’d think it would slow him down.

He’s a combat veteran. Anna told her, He probably thought he was back in combat and you were there.

Of course he did. Jamaica sighed and took a deep breath.

Have you had your medication yet? Anna asked softly.

No, I haven’t. Jamaica wept.

First things first. Anna said and helped her set down in a chair at the kitchen table before asking, Have you eaten since you kids have been here?

I had a protein drink while Aunt Brenda was here. Jamaica replied.

Anna found a jar of peanut butter, got out a spoon, poured a glass of thick fruit drink and sat it on the table in front of Jamaica. Then she made a pot of coffee, before setting in a chair with the bottles of medicine in front of her.

I can do it myself. Jamaica told her a little irritated as Anna opened the jar of peanut butter, scooped some out with the spoon and placed a pill in it before holding it up to her mouth.

I know you can, Anna said firmly and put the spoon in her mouth, as she would a small child, If you want the pills all over the floor for Patty to find when she’s here. I don’t think you’d like the outcome of that. If you managed to get the pill into your mouth on the spoon, you’d probably shatter at least one of those perfect teeth trying to get it out of the spoon.

Jamaica glared at her but managed to swallow the contents of the spoon as Sam came in.

The coffee’s made and a glass of tea is on the counter for Brent. Anna told him, Jamaica and I need a little time.

So do Brent and I. Sam replied, poured himself a cup of coffee, took the tea and left the house.

Momma, what do I do? Jamaica asked and started weeping again, My emotions are crazy. Am I going insane?

No. Anna assured her and gave her more medicine before holding the glass to her lips so she could drink some liquid.

Am I going to be an emotional wreck for the rest of my life? Jamaica worried, I’m a handicap to him. I’m like a baby.

Well, you’re my baby and you always will be. Anna told her and gave her more medicine, You’re not a handicap; you’re a blessing. We love you and we’ll get through this. I went through it for years. Sam’s still careful about how he touches me.

My house is a mess. Jamaica sniffed.

Where? Anna asked and fed her more fruit drink before getting another cool rag to wipe Jamaica’s face.

That feels so nice. The younger woman sighed and hugged Anna’s hand.

Anna smiled, then patted her shoulder before saying, You’re a wonderful girl; a wonderful daughter.

Jamaica wept.

Let it out little one. Anna said and hugged her, It’s okay. This is one of the things mothers are for.

But you’re pregnant. Jamaica continued to weep.

Yes I am, Anna said with a smile, Four months pregnant.

The evening sickness is gone for the most part. Anna said with a smile, Brenda put us both on a special diet and now we don’t get those weird cravings as badly.

I want a baby Momma. Jamaica sobbed.

That takes 9 months and you have to get healthier or it’s a serious threat to both you and the baby. Anna told her with a smile and walked to the refrigerator, How about some meatloaf, mashed potato patties, warmed up biscuits, green beans and an egg for you? Or should we loose the egg? It would be good for you though.

I can cook, Momma. Jamaica assured her.

Hon, Anna replied and walked to the stove with the food, I think you must have worked off at least a half-pound since you’ve been over here. You haven’t eaten and you’re trembling even after a good shot of healthy fruit drink and peanut butter. Shaking like you are, the only thing you’d do is burn the food and very possibly yourself. I’ll have this stuff warmed up in half an hour. Finish the fruit drink; give yourself time for the tremors to slow down, go out there and be with your husband. He’s still convinced he hurt you. Do you want an egg?

Yes Momma. Jamaica replied softly, But I wasn’t hurt, I was just scared.

You have a wonderful mind, Anna admonished, But it can’t work right without proper nourishment. So eat when you’re supposed to, whether or not you feel hungry. Brenda has spent much of her professional life studying nutrition and the nervous system. She doesn’t take this stuff lightly and she doesn’t prescribe a course of action she doesn’t feel is healthy and necessary. Look at how far you’ve come since she’s been here.

So my brain was damaged. Jamaica said quietly.

There was no way for it not to have been. Anna told her, That’s why your healing processes are working so slowly; and, why it’s going to take a long time.

How much longer is it going to take? Jamaica winced.

At least another year, Anna told her, Maybe longer, if the process slows down and you don’t do the things we tell you.

Momma, I can’t tie Brent down like that. Jamaica told her, It wouldn’t be right.

Now you listen to me Jacqueline Jamaica Kingman, Anna said sharply, He knows what you’re up against; what you’re both fighting. He loves you. Now do you love him?

Of course. She replied defensively.

Do your vows mean anything to you? Anna asked.

Yes they do. Jamaica replied.

Don’t they say ‘in sickness and in health’? Anna asked, poured her some tea and sat it in front of her to wash the juice down with.

Yes. Jamaica answered, But…

Then let him be a man. Anna told her and asked, Can you walk?

Yes. Jamaica replied softly.

Then it’s time to take your tea out to the porch and be with your husband. Anna said with a soft smile, Send my husband in here, I have some things for him to do.

You’re right, Jamaica sighed, If my husband even wants to see me.

Come on, Anna said softly, grabbed the container of tea and added, Bring your glass and come with me.

Chapter Two

The Crisis

It was like it was happening all over again. Brent told his father as Anna and Jamaica quietly walked out onto the porch, People were dying all over the place and Jake got there somehow. There was all this crying and screaming. I had to get her to safety, those bombs were coming…

I go through some of the same things. Sam confided to him, Then there’s your mother and all I can think about is getting her to safety.

It’s just so real, Brent sighed with tears in his eyes, I had to protect her. I know she’s hurt and not telling anyone.

I’m not hurt. Jamaica said softly, sat down next to him and snuggled to his side, I got frightened. I have my own issues about being grabbed; you know that. I’m okay.

A sheet of lightening ripped across the sky and Brent flinched and looked away from her.

Look at me. Jamaica whispered while Sam got up and walked with Anna into the house as thunder echoed through the night.

Jake, Brent exclaimed, unable to look at her, You have no idea what I’m seeing right now.

You’re seeing your men die all around you. Jamaica told him softly and turned his head so she could see his face with tears in her eyes, You feel helpless because you can’t do anything. You’re experiencing all those terrible wounds you have to your chest and abdomen. You were dying, Brent.

He tried to turn his face away, but she held it firmly.

Explosions are going off all around you. Jamaica continued, By the time it’s over napalm bombs explode to the north; horrible screams follow; some from your men and others from the enemy. By some miraculous turn of events your life was spared. They didn’t try to recover the bodies because, with napalm, they didn’t think there was anything to bring back; even your dog tags would have been melted blobs of metal. I’ve been in Papa’s war room; looked at the maps. I read through the reports. Just the stripped down version almost made me vomit. Papa has everything on his map table; everything.

You know about this? Brent exclaimed in astonishment and concern.

What you’re not realizing is that even with the very real horror going on, Jamaica told him, You saw me there and tried to save my life.

You weren’t in any danger, Brent nearly wept, Except from me.

Look at me, Jamaica said softly, You thought I was there. You’re my husband. I love you. We’ve been sleeping together since before we left the hospital. You talk in your sleep and some really horrible things come out. You use language I’ve never heard come out of your mouth before. What you’ve lived through for the past three years is the stuff nightmares are made of. It’s very hard for me to hear; but I don’t hear the screams or smell the smells of death around you. I don’t taste the air or feel the pain. I’m in awe that you have any sanity left. You don’t know how many men there are who haven’t been through what you have that can’t function anymore. I’ve seen some of them.

How do you know I won’t end up like that? Brent sighed, Or that I won’t walk off and shoot myself, or hurt you?

I don’t, Jamaica answered, But I believe you won’t. I don’t have access to our future. I have the dream of a happy life in spite of trials and tribulations. I didn’t go into this marriage wide eyed, innocent and stupid. I went into it loving and believing in us.

But your head could have bounced off the floor. Brent gasped.

Brent, there was no possible way I could have been hurt. Jamaica countered, You rolled onto the floor with my body fully on top of, supported and protected by you. You took the full impact of my weight. Then you shielded me and pushed me under the bed. I’m not the least bit hurt from that very loving act. There wasn’t even time for me to be scared until I was under the bed; and it all happened before the sound of the thunder. That’s how fast you reacted to that burst of light.

What about the next time? Brent worried.

We take it one day at a time. Jamaica told him, One minute at a time. If you can put up with me, as unstable as I am; I can put up with you. Now please give me some time to adjust; I love you so much.

Another sheet of lightening burst through the sky. Brent held her tightly and trembled, but closed his eyes and counted the seconds between the burst of light and the jarring sound of rolling thunder.

25 miles to the southwest, Brent sighed, It’s moving quickly. It’ll be over in two or three hours.

Jamaica nodded her understanding and whispered, Do you feel like setting with me on your lap at the table so I can have some more tea. I’m a little dehydrated. Momma’s worried.

Sure. Brent replied quietly, got up, lifted her into his arms and said, I love your smile.

Just the smile. Jamaica asked softly.

No. Brent answered and sat down with her, I love all there is about you.

Oh crap! Jamaica exclaimed.

What’s wrong? Brent worried.

I hope Momma didn’t see my panties lying under the table. Jamaica blushed.

Do you want me to go get them? Brent asked.

Lord no. Jamaica replied and filled the tea glasses, My only hope is that she’s so preoccupied she hasn’t noticed them.

Fat chance, Brent sighed, She sees everything.

Embarrassing! Jamaica exclaimed.

It probably won’t be the last time. Anna said with a knowing smile, They’re in the hamper. I didn’t think you wanted Sam to see them.

You’re a life saver. Jamaica sighed.

Anna stepped out on the porch and commented, There’s a solution to that problem.

Don’t wear them. Jamaica thought out loud.

It saves time and chaffing. Anna told her.

I don’t need to hear this. Brent said while blushing.

So that’s how you prevent that. Jamaica exclaimed.

Anna winked at her and said, Besides the thought alone will keep him at home. Men are very visual creatures.

Mom, Brent gasped, I did not want to hear you say that.

Brent; you’re 21 not 13. Anna told him, She hasn’t had the benefit of a mother to talk to; its 2:36 and I’m too tired to mince words.

We’ve been married for 12 hours. Jamaica said with a loving smile and kissed him passionately.

Okay, Anna said with a soft smile, Your dinner’s on the table. There’s a lit candle so you can turn out the lights and eat by candle light. We made you a bed on the floor with as many quilts and blankets as we could find. It’s on the left side of the bed so Jamaica can sleep on her left side near the bed. If lightening starts again all you have to do is push her underneath, into a nice safe spot and you won’t risk hurting her. I know it sounds silly, but a comfortable pallet on the floor has saved me a lot of bumps and bruises over the years. The reason there’s no mattress is that the wide side rail will definitely bruise ribs if you get slammed against it. It took us a few years to figure this out; trust me.

Everything’s ready, Sam told Anna with a smile, The mountains and the western ranges are getting rain. It’ll hit a high pressure ridge over the desert and bounce back to the south over the Southern Rockies. It’s over here for a few days.

Brent sighed in relief, thought about what his mother had said and told her, Aunt Brenda said I wasn’t supposed to eat…

She’s not your mother, Anna replied sharply, I am. I’ll deal with her. There’s nothing on the table that will hurt you or Jamaica. You’ve both been far too long without anything for your bodies to burn. Don’t argue; eat.

Whatever you say Mom, Brent answered, I’ll enjoy some real food for a change.

Jamaica, eat as much as you possibly can without making yourself sick. Anna told her, You have to weigh in tomorrow. If you haven’t remained the same weight you were yesterday, you two will be moving back into Brent’s old room until you reach 94 pounds and have your first cycle. Keep that in mind when you’re tempted to skip a meal. Brent make sure she eats; unless you want those mood swings to get worse. The pleasure isn’t worth a lifetime of trauma. We love you, but we need some sleep.

Goodnight, kids. Sam said and walked down the steps toward the pool area.

What did she fix? Brent asked softly.

Leftovers, Jamaica replied, Meatloaf, mashed potato patties, green beans, gravy and, for me, an egg that’s cooked over easy.

Is it her meatloaf or Alicia’s? Brent asked.

Momma made it for us in our very own kitchen. Jamaica answered with a smile.

She’s such a good cook. Brent commented and put his cigarette out, She doesn’t do it much anymore, but Dad and I used to really love it when Momma, Aunt Brenda, Alicia and Jennifer would cook at the same time.

How am I ever going to compete with the four of them? Jamaica worried.

You don’t have to. Brent told her softly and kissed her passionately.

We have to eat honey. She told him.

Yeah. Brent sighed and kissed her again.

Jamaica pushed away from him, got up and said, I know what you want, but we have to eat and take a bath first.

Eat and take a bath. Brent repeated.

Yeah, Jamaica sighed, while catching her breath, still looking into his eyes, Eat and take a bath. Then we can go to bed or whatever; or both. Come on.

Brent got up, followed her into the house, made sure the door was locked and turned out the lights.

Are you worried about something? Jamaica asked as he switched off the porch lights.

Not really. Brent replied as they walked into the kitchen. He pulled out the chair and helped her scoot it up to the table.

Dinner by candlelight. Jamaica said with a soft smile.

I love you. Brent replied as he sat down and kissed her softly before she prayed while holding his hand.

How come you pray silently? He asked curiously as they started to eat.

I do it because you’re the spiritual leader of the house. Jamaica replied quietly.

I am! Brent exclaimed, "Honey, I don’t have as much faith as you do; not in a million years.

I think you’re wrong. Jamaica told him, I think you have more faith than you believe. I think deep inside, you’re a very humble man that doesn’t like to boast about what he knows or display himself as superior to others. I think that’s why children and friends come to you for support and answers to difficult questions; like Aunt Carol did the other day.

Brent blushed, but smiled softly and kissed her hand before asking, What if you’re wrong?

Jamaica smiled and said, Then I have faith you’ll find the faith you have and learn it’s really much stronger than mine. I’ll pray your wisdom will help you find your faith. Don’t confuse being a warrior at heart with a lack of faith. It takes a lot of strength, courage, wisdom and faith to be a warrior. God loves warriors. He loved David; He knew his heart and He knows yours.

I love you. Brent said quietly.

What did you say? Jamaica replied, I didn’t quite catch that. Maybe I didn’t understand. Did you say you loved me.

He leaned over and whispered into her ear, I said I love you, Jacqueline Jamaica Kingman.

Jamaica smiled broadly and replied, I love you, Brenton Samuel Kingman, with all my heart.

Brent kissed her softly and said, I love you.

Her green eyes sparkled and she seemed to glow as she said softly, I know you do. I can see it in your eyes when you look at me; your smile; and I feel it in the air around me. We’d better finish eating, or we’ll be in big trouble.

Yeah! Brent agreed, sat up and started eating again, but never took his eyes off of her.

I’m so glad you’re home. Jamaica sighed lovingly, It’s like the weight of the world is off of my shoulders.

I really am home, He said after taking a deep breath, This isn’t the dream of a dying man.

You’re home and I’m real. She told him while daintily wiping her mouth with a napkin, We really got married this afternoon. I’ve dreamed about this day since I was 15 and it’s been better than I imagined. We got married, danced, came home to our own house, made love, danced some more, made love again, cuddled and held each other without having to worry about offending anyone, made love until we were worn out, cuddled and held each other while we slept; watched the sky light up; had our first crisis and survived it; made up and reassured each other while we sat on our very own front porch. I’m so much more in love with you than I was at 15, or 16, or 17.

Brent smiled softly and let her talk.

When I thought you were dead, my heart was broken; but it wouldn’t let me stop loving you. I felt empty inside. I didn’t care whether I lived or not. When I found out you were alive it was as if someone injected me with the nectar of life and the determination to go on living. I didn’t care how you came home as long as I could see and touch you. If you’d rejected me, I’d have never bothered you as long as I could see you. I love you enough to let you go. I’m not going to let a few bad dreams drive me away.

Brent studied her face for a moment before saying, I’m supposed to be the strong one, but I don’t hold a candle to you.

You are the strong one. Jamaica told him while holding his hand to her cheek, Any strength I have comes from you.

I love you so much. He whispered with tears in his eyes.

I know. She whispered and kissed the palm of his hand, I need your love more than you think. So please remind me often, even if I start to nag or get moody and insecure.

I will. Brent replied and kissed her softly, Now finish your food so we can rest.

Okay. She sighed, but didn’t let go of his hand until she’d finished, saying, I can’t believe I ate all that. I must have been starving.

You were, Brent told her, That’s what your body is saying when you get like that. I’ve seen it more often than I care to talk about; and the last place I ever want to see it is at home.

I’ll try to remember. Jamaica sighed as she got up and started clearing the table.

Brent watched in unbelief as she started rinsing the dishes and washing them in a sink full of hot soapy water. She hummed as if actually enjoying what she was doing. After a few minutes everything was sparkling clean, dried and put away.

The rest can wait until tomorrow. He told her as she started to get out the broom and dust pan.

I know. She replied with a soft smile, But it only takes a minute.

Brent got up and wrapped his arms around her, preventing her for getting anything else, saying, This can wait.

But it’s our house and I want it clean. Jamaica protested.

It is clean. Brent countered and walked her toward the bedroom, We need to take a bath and go to bed; not worry about the house; it’ll wait.

I’m proud of this house and I want you to know that. Jamaica said in frustration.

Bath or shower? Brent asked as they went into the master bath.

Brent… Jamaica started to say and resisted his kiss, Honey…

He kissed her neck and quietly asked, Bath or shower?

Bath. She sighed, dropping her robe to the floor and melting to his body while kissing him passionately, Bubble bath, my legs are tired.

Okay. He sighed and had to force himself to let go of her to start running the bath water, I realize this stuff makes you smell good, but what am I going to tell the guys.

Well, Jamaica said as she stepped into the tub, They all know how small I am. Tell them I was in the bathtub, got lost and you had to get in to find me. I could drown in this tub, you know? That way you’ll be a hero.

I hadn’t thought of that. Brent shrugged, got in the tub and sat down beside her commenting, This is kind of nice.

Very nice, She agreed while cuddling to his side, Can we sleep in here?

We’d shrivel up like prunes. Brent replied.

Probably, Jamaica sighed as he washed her back and neck, This feels so nice I think I’ll keep you around.

I like that idea. Brent shrugged and asked, Should I wash your hair?

In the morning, Jamaica said, then yawned, as she washed his back and the rest of her own body, before asking, Did Jeanette cut it too short?

No. Brent answered as they rinsed off and got out of the tub, I wouldn’t want it much shorter, but it’s your hair and I trust your taste. I think it’s beautiful. Did she put a perm in it?

No. Jamaica replied, It gets to be a mess with even the gentle perms. If it gets much shorter it’ll get curly instead of wavy. I like it wavy. Is there anything about me you don’t like?

He looked her over and replied, Just the bugger hanging out of your nose.

What? Jamaica gasped and hurried to the mirror to look at her face.

Brent started laughing as she smacked his arm while saying, That wasn’t very nice.

How do you improve on perfection? Brent asked, moving the hair behind her ears.

You have that gleam in your eyes. She told him.

I do? Brent said with a smile as she broke away and started to pick up the towels.

Let me pick the towels up, then I’ll be happy. Jamaica told him.

Nope. He answered, scooped her up into his arms and took her to bed saying, I realize everything has its place; yours is in bed next to me.

But honey, I want you to know how much I appreciate you. She explained.

Brent simply kissed her.

Now that we’re married, Jamaica asked, Can you hold me like you used to. I mean, it’s your right, but…

Brent kissed her softly and laid down letting her cuddle to his chest.

There are taller, more beautiful women. She told him while drawing circles on his chest with her fingertip.

I’ve never noticed. Brent replied, moved the hair out of her face with his right hand and rubbed her back with the left, I’ve really only looked at you. You’re my wife; I don’t want anyone else. You’re beautiful, kind, forgiving, loving…

Temperamental, moody, a clean freak… Jamaica added.

Love children, horses and your husband, Brent sighed, I love you. I want you happy and healthy. You have a good and wonderful heart.

You’d better keep her then. Jamaica commented and kissed him passionately.

I thought… Brent said breathlessly.

Jamaica kissed him harder.

I thought you… He sighed passionately.

I changed my mind. Jamaica shrugged and giggled, her eyes sparkling as she breathed heavily.

I think I like this women’s prerogative stuff. Brent sighed.

I want you. Jamaica told him as he kissed her neck and shoulders.

Chapter Three

Early In The Morning

Kevin Appleton lay on a makeshift bed watching the lightening flashes magnified by the thick glass surrounding the pool area. With each flash an eerie glow shined around the sides of the privacy curtains. To Amy and Amanda the sound of rolling thunder was all but inaudible, but Kevin heard it clearly. Scenes of artillery and tank battles played out in his mind. Fields covered with bodies and body parts invaded his thoughts.

Daddy, Amanda asked quietly, Are you ascareded?

Go to sleep, precious. Kevin said in short quick breaths as sweat poured from his body.

It is okay to be ascareded Daddy. Amanda told him, My friend, she said that lightening and thunder is Gods way of trying to talk to us. She did said He do love us very much, so we should not be ascareded at all. But I still get scareded when I do hear it.

You do? Kevin sighed, trying to restrain his reactions.

Mommy, Amanda told him, She hugs me real tight when I am scareded. She says it helps her not to be scareded too. Maybe you should hug me and you will not be so scareded either.

If I go to sleep, Kevin explained, I could hurt you or Mommy on nights like this.

You will not hurted me, Amanda assured him, And you will not hurted my Mommy. You love us.

You can’t know that, Amanda. Kevin sighed nervously, as she hugged his arm.

He turned, sat up and held her to his chest, trembling while kissing the top of her head. Amanda felt tears drop onto her thick black hair, turned and touched his cheek; before standing on her knees, hugging his neck tightly and kissing his cheek. He embraced her and wept.

Mandy. Amy sighed and felt around the bed.

I am here Mommy. Amanda told her, My Daddy is crying. What should I do?

What? Amy gasped, sat up and hugged them asking, Kevin are you alright?

Yeah. Kevin replied, trembling, laying his head on Amy’s shoulder, It caught me by surprise.

Did I hurted Daddy, Mommy? Amanda worried, I did not mean to hurted him.

No; you didn’t hurt Daddy. Amy told her softly and kissed Kevin’s cheek before explaining, Do you remember I told you we had a little girl that died when she was about your age?

Yes Mommy, Amanda replied, I member.

Well, the night before Carmen died we had a really bad thunderstorm and Daddy was really afraid. Amy explained, She slept with us a lot, just like you do. Daddy had some very bad dreams and he was shaking. Carmen was scared, so I held her tightly until I went to sleep and she wasn’t afraid anymore. She decided if it worked for her it would work for her father. She slipped away from me and hugged him, much like you’re doing now. After awhile he went to sleep holding her.

Oh, Amanda gasped, I did not want to make you sad, Daddy.

No, Kevin sniffed and sighed before kissing her cheek saying softly, Daddy has had all this hurt bottled up inside for a long time. I didn’t have a way to let it out. It; it’s a good thing.

But you are crying. Amanda almost wept.

Sometimes even the strongest people have to cry. Amy told her as they laid down, It would embarrass Daddy if we told anyone about this. We’ll keep it to ourselves, okay?

I do understand, Mommy. Amanda replied and kissed her fathers’ cheek whispering, Do not worry, Daddy, I will not even tell Jackie or Lacey.

Kevin looked at her, wiped his eyes and smiled while kissing the top of her head.

Amanda lay with her ear over his heart and he asked, What are you doing?

I am listening. Amanda replied, I am listening like Melissa did told me to listen.

Are you there? Amy asked with a loving smile.

Carmen, she is there too, Mommy. Amanda answered almost gleefully, Daddy has room for both of us just like you. He is like a big teddy bear.

How’s that? Amy asked softly.

He can look very scary, Amanda replied, But he is really all soft and cuddly.

I love you. Kevin chuckled and hugged her tightly, You’ve stolen my heart.

No, Daddy, Amanda responded innocently, I do only have my heart.

Kevin laughed. The lightening flashed, but it didn’t seem to matter for the first time in a long time. The thunder sounded and he flinched, but didn’t react.

I didn’t think Angels existed. Kevin told his wife.

Amy smiled, kissed Amanda’s hand and asked, Have you noticed?

What? Kevin asked, looked down at Amanda and smiled saying, She’s not sucking her fingers.

She hasn’t done it all day. Amy told him, Even with all the strangers and excitement, there have been no mishaps. She got to wear her little dress all day. I took it off when she got her bath for bed. She was so proud.

Wow! Kevin exclaimed proudly, That is a big deal.

She has a long way to go, Amy said with a smile, But it means she’s feeling more secure. Maybe we should stay here a few more days before going down to the house.

That may be a good idea if Sam and Ann don’t mind. Kevin agreed, I’ll check with them.

Okay. Amy sighed as Amanda snuggled against her chest.

What more could we ask for? Kevin asked as he closed his eyes and went to sleep.

Amy kissed the top of Amanda’s head, stroked her hair and drifted off to sleep.

After awhile, she sat on the hill looking at the lake. The fields were full of fresh smelling multi-colored wild flowers and daisies. The sky was bright and clear, and the shade tree protected her.

I love it here. Kayla told her softly.

You were right, Amy replied, She’s wonderful. I love her as if she was my very own.

She is. Kayla responded with loving smile, Wait until you see what a truly wonderful big sister she’s going to be.

Kayla, she’ll always be an only child, Amy told her, You should remember I wanted more, but it’s not in the cards for us.

Kayla smiled softly and replied, I can’t tell you everything, but I will tell you that around Christmas time you’re going to get a very special gift or two.

Where will we find them? Amy asked, We’ll go anywhere in the world.

Why would you travel when Amanda is lying against them already? Kayla laughed.

But that’s not possible! Amy exclaimed, I’m 40, my time has passed. We just spent too many years grieving. We wasted four years arguing about adopting that we could have had with Mandy.

You’ve wasted no time. Kayla told her, It was not your time; it is now. By the time you’re 45 you’ll have five children to keep you busy and happy; two more girls and two more boys. This ranch will be a haven for abused children, some with various ailments. Neither of you will be able stay away for long.

But we live in Texas. Amy said softly.

Only part of the time, Kayla said softly, From now on, you’ll be here more and more. You’ll even get together with your sisters and build another house big enough for your family. Big changes are coming, Amy. The bond between you, your sisters and friends will be the driving force. You’ll even have a church. It’s meant to be that way. God loves you and all of these people.

But Kevin… Amy started to say.

A man’s heart is won over by a patient and loving wife. Kayla told her, He has a patient and loving wife and daughter. She’ll bring out the true nature in him. Don’t look to what is seen; look to what cannot be seen. Her gifts are many and so are yours. You need each other to realize that. Have faith; trust and believe.

But we let you and Jackie down so badly. Amy nearly wept, We let Carmen down. How do I know I won’t let Mandy down just as badly?

You don’t. Kayla replied lovingly, "Carmen’s little spirit is so strong, but her body was weak and frail. It just couldn’t go on any longer. You were in mourning when I left with Jackie. It was my decision not to tell either of you what was going on. I could have, but I was too prideful. I made choices that nearly destroyed Jackie and did destroy most of my life.

"I realized how horrible my choices had been when Jackie was hurt in Reno. I found out about other things that had happened to her after I left. I left her here because I knew they’d never stop looking for her. If I’d taken her to Texas it would have been a disaster for everyone. Here, she had a chance. I knew your friends lived here and would see that she was safe. In the end I made a few right choices. In particular a walk I took into a little church in Florida. By then it was too late for me.

The life I was living would have sucked her in too. Can’t you see that? She’d have never found the man she so loves if she’d lived in Texas. This is his home. They’ll have difficulties, but he truly loves her and she truly loves him. This is her time; their time. Would you promise to do something for me?

I’ll do anything you ask. Amy wept.

Love Jackie and my grandchildren. Kayla said softly, Let them know that I would have loved to have been part of their lives. Make sure Jackie knows I love her and always have. Ann is a wonderful mother for her. She’ll be a marvelous grandmother, but children need two. Would you be there for them.

I wouldn’t think of doing otherwise. Amy replied.

By the way, Kayla said with a broad smile, When you see what Amanda will be able to do with horses, you’ll be amazed. She was born to ride. Jackie will have a couple of very special birthday presents for her 21st birthday. They will bring joy to everyone, especially Jackie and Brent. You’ll see a side of that young man no one has seen or even knows exists.

I love you, Kayla. Amy told her.

I know. Kayla replied, kissed her cheek and walked away.

Will I see you again? Amy asked.

If the need arises, Kayla answered, But most of the time you’ll see me in my daughters’ smile and in your daughters’ laughter.

A gentle nudge awoke Amy from her sleep.

Mommy, Amanda’s tiny voice said softly as she wiped tears from Amy’s cheeks, Did I make you cry?

No. Amy answered softly. I just had a very wonderful dream. You never make me cry anything but happy tears.

Whew! Amanda sighed, I was worried. I got to go potty, Mommy.

Okay. Amy giggled, But let’s be very quiet so we don’t wake Daddy.

But I got to wake him up Mommy. Amanda replied and explained, He has his arm around me very tight. I do not want to pee the bed, but I do not want to wake my Daddy up?

Well, if you wet the bed he’ll wake up. Amy explained.

Oh! Amanda exclaimed, Then I better wake him up. I forgot about him waking up anyway when I do got to go pee.

Kevin. Amy laughed and gently shook his shoulder, Honey, let go of the baby she has to go to the bathroom.

Huh? Kevin yawned and started to get up with Amanda.

You cannot take me to the potty, Daddy, Amanda protested, I am a girl.

Oh yeah! Kevin exclaimed, let go of Amanda and turned facing the pool area saying, Amy, wake up, honey. The baby wet her diaper. She says I can’t change it because she’s a girl. So I guess you have to.

It’s okay. Amy answered and whispered, Go back to sleep, I have it under control.

But you’ll need the baby powder, Kevin protested, We don’t want her little butt getting sore.

I already have it. Amy told him, held her finger over her lips and got up with Amanda.

I don’t see how you do it. Kevin continued talking, First you breast feed, then you change her. Do you ever get any sleep?

Once in awhile. Amy answered while setting Amanda on the toilet and told her, He’s talking in his sleep. If we’re real quiet he won’t wake all the way up. He only does that when he’s exhausted.

Oh. Amanda yawned, If we getted a stool I could climb up here and do this by myself Mommy; then you could stay in bed.

I think we’ll do it this way. Amy said with a soft smile, When you get bigger you can do it alone. You don’t mind this too much do you?

No, Amanda replied, I kind of like it. We can talk, just you and me; I like that. I like to talk to you. Daddy is very nice, but he do not make no sense sometimes.

Well, I like to talk to you too. Amy said lovingly as she lifted her up and sat her on the vanity next to the sink; humming as she washed the child’s face and hand.

Why do you put that white stuff on my hand? Amanda asked curiously as Amy rubbed lotion into her hand.

I noticed you have dry skin. Amy told her, So I put special softeners in your bath and use special shampoo and soap for your skin and hair. You have to wash your hand a lot. I put it on to keep your skin from getting sore and chapped like your lips do. I put lip stick on your lips to keep them soft.

How come no one never done this before? Amanda asked.

I don’t know. Amy replied, But I’m your mother, so I will because I like to. Do you like it?

Yes. Amanda giggled, I like it very much. I feel very soft since I did come here. I always smell pretty.

That’s the way a girl is supposed to feel. Amy said with a smile, You smell sweet because you are sweet.

I like it very much. She smiled.

Mandy, Amy asked, How would you feel about having a little brother or sister?

I would like that very much. Amanda said with a wide smile and giggled, I will practice changing diapers a real lot so I can help you.

Real babies are a little different then dolls. Amy told her, picking the child up and taking her back to bed, They wiggle all the time.

Oh. Amanda sighed,