You Can Issue It, but Can You Take It When It Comes Back to You?

YOU CAN ISSUE IT BUT CAN YOU TAKE WHEN IT COME’S BACK TO YOU

MAYA SANDERS

iUniverse, Inc.

Bloomington

You Can Issue It But Can You Take When It Come’s Back To You

Copyright © 2013 Maya Sanders

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ISBN: 978-1-4759-8164-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4759-8166-7 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4759-8165-0 (e)

iUniverse rev. date: 4/8/2013

CONTENTS

You Can Issue It But Can You Take When It Come’s Back To You

Three Years After

I Cried With You!"

The Historical Moment

Fake Ass People’s

Stop Hating!

Big Thief

The Big Pay Back

How Dumb Can You Be?"!

Drama Before The Funeral

This Is A Warning

I’m Glad I’m Not You!"

He’s Not Your Cousin He’s Your Dad!"

Rapists Bastards!"

The Devil Is A Liar!"

Triflen Bitch!

What Was She Thinking?

Seperated; Never Divorced!

Just Keeping It Real!

You’re Just Plum Nasty!"

The Bratt Everyone Love To Hate

I’ve Chosen The Wrong Men’s!

YOU CAN ISSUE IT BUT CAN YOU TAKE WHEN IT COME’S BACK TO YOU

This has been haunting me since 1975. I have a secret to tell about myself and my cousin, Shay. My mother and her niece, Marilyn, managed to keep this from everyone in the family. I can recall them telling us not to say anything to anyone; so we kept it a secret.

My cousin Shay and I got pregnant. I was fourteen years old; she was twelve. My cousin and I were able to go to the movie theater by ourselves, the skating rank, and an enormous of other places by ourselves. Mined you we were only twelve and fourteen living in Chicago and every chance we got to go somewhere, we made sure that we had fun! We had a curfew that we were sure to break and we knew that we were going to be put on punishment for not making it home on time like always, so why not enjoy ourselves?.

We knew it would be a long time before we could go anywhere again unh, unh not unless; we were accompany by an adult and we knew just who to help, us get out the house cousin Babe, before her husband makes it home, she was our only choice, so we asked Babe even thou, we were able to get our cousin Babe to help get us out the house she wasn’t always with us. She needed to get out the house as well. "Babe husband use to beat her up just on GP, so dam if she did and dam if she didn’t, she wore black-eyes like they were her extra set of glasses these were some of the reasons we never told that she was cheating on him and she also knew how to keep our secrets.

So in away our parents did have a reason for not trusting our judgments’ when they saw us playing with boys. But not before I got pregnant because I wasn’t thinking about having sex. They should’ve thought about that when they allowed, us to go out and about on our own way before Babe started hanging out with Shay and I it wasn’t safe to allow us to run around in Chicago, at a young age without in adult.

Our parent’s allowed us to hang with older adults not knowing that they were purchasing alcohol beverages for us, Red bulls’ beer before, we even went to the movies, house parties you name it, we did it some of the guys family own a little convenient store three blocks away and their house was right next door to the store, our cousin wife was in the house doing her thing and I was in the store behind the meat counter getting my freak-on that was when I lost my virginity and dam did that shit hurt. Who knows where Shay was, but best to believe me when I say it she was getting her freak-on also.

So yeah we was get it in drinking and all, we just got caught when we, got knocked-up and having fun while drinking was the thing to do back in the days along with 100 proofs Vodka! Accompany us were our oldest cousin Babe whom was married with children’s. The reason she loved hanging with us is because she knew that we had a lot older male friends and even thou she was married at the time she had to have a young tender Rooney on the side knowing that we wouldn’t tell her husband.

She knew that we were having sex at the time because she was going with the brother and she knew not to open her mouth about our secret; if she didn’t want her secret to come-out? knowing had her husband found out about the nigga she was fucking around with, he would’ve beat the shit out of her And I thank God he didn’t know who she was fucking around with for his sake, that nigga would’ve torn him a new ass-hole because that brother know he was a ass kicker somebody you didn’t want to come in contact with cause that brother had skills you just didn’t walk-up to him and think that you were going to check him and walk away without a good old fashion ass whooping now, on the other hand Babe was going to get the shit beat out of her.

He knew what his wife was capable of. He just couldn’t catch her ass in the act because, he had to go to work and he worked long and hard ass hours to provide for his family.

The both of them were high matinees they wanted the best of everything sharp ass crib, bad-ass cars and some cold- ass out-fix’s diamonds and gold, so cold it would blind you and his wife was hotter then a fire cracker and she was fine as wine and a body to kill for this, is why his ass was, so dam jealous in the first place if he had it his way, she would’ve never step a foot out the house he just couldn’t put his finger on which one of them young ass punks she was fucking the hell out of, he knew she was doing something little that he knew that man was standing close enough for him to kiss him in the mouth and our mothers was close enough to see right thru Babe this is when they should’ve started to notice some shit instead of noticing after the fact that my behavior had begun to change.

My mother and her niece, Marilyn, noticed that my behavior had begun to change. I was staying in bed longer than normal. One day my mother asked me why I was sleeping so much. I told her that I wasn’t feeling well. Skeptically, she asked me what was wrong. I told her that I felt weak and that I couldn’t keep anything down.

My mother thought I might be coming down with the flu. With that she went out and bought meds and orange juice. We will see how you feel in a couple of days, she said. I needed to get registered for school that day; so, my mother gave me the Tylenol and orange juice. She then made me soup and told me that if I was feeling up to it she would take me to school. Later that day, my mother and Marilyn took Shay and I to register for school. There were so many people registering that day. The lines were so long that I passed out standing there.

It was at that moment that my mother realized I was pregnant. Not wanting to get in trouble alone; I told my mother that Shay was also pregnant. Why in the hell did you have to go and snitch on me, Shay screamed. Your dumb ass is the one who passed out, now your mama gone run and tell my mom, Shay screamed at me. I guess that’s where you got all of that snitching from; like mother, like daughter. She continued. I told you not to tell anyone. I guess I should’ve told you to tell my mom; maybe I would’ve been better off, bitch. Oh, well. You couldn’t hide it forever, anyway, bitch. I screamed back at her. If they figured out that I was pregnant, they would have figured out that you were, too; I tried to get Shay to understand why I’d done it. You’re no better than me, bitch. I matched Shay’s anger. After I passed out at school, all the sighs started to become clear. I was sleeping all the time, I couldn’t keep any food down, I had no strength; they knew I was pregnant. They took me and Shay to the doctor to confirm their suspicions. After the doctor told our mother’s we were indeed pregnant they were pissed off at us.

They yelled, they screamed, they cursed at us until we made it to Shay’s house- My mother didn’t know how to drive, so therefore we were going over to Shay’s house, so that they could continue yelling and screaming at us, for having sex, and we knew that our mother’s told us, to keep our dam legs close!" Then to top it off, we both were now pregnant.

My mother will really be upset with me. When she hears what I’m telling the world." and I don’t give a dam, had she kept her mouth close in the first place about how much I been laying around the house sleeping and can’t keep no food on my stomach, to her niece there would’ve been a secret to keep.

My mother had no way of knowing about no got dam abortion clinic even if my mother was standing right in-front of the abortion clinic, she wouldn’t have known what it was? My mother couldn’t read, nor, write she always depended on someone else to do it for her without anyone knowing that she really couldn’t read.

My mother worked in a cotton field when she was young, so she was not able to go to school most of my mother time was spent in the cotton field picking cotton, with the rest of her siblings this is why she wasn’t able to attend school, and soon after I was conceived while my mother was suppose to be picking cotton I’ see now, that aint all my mother was doing, she was getting her cotton picked too.

School was not an option all she could think about was getting the hell out of Mississippi; before someone finds out that she had gotten pregnant and on top of that she wasn’t married, and I be dam if she was to stick around long enough for anyone to find out that she was doing the nasty in the cotton field. "Oops’ there goes another secret out the bag. I am dam if she didn’t pick up the phone and call her big sister who lived in another town. All she needed her sister to do is give her the answer? That she, was looking for and she would be on the first thing smoking.

My mother already had her bags pack. She knew there was no way! That she was going to stay in Mississippi. She just didn’t know where it was? She was going; Lord knows, when her sister told her. She could come and live with her. That was the best news; she could’ve ever heard; that day. Now there she goes, running from another got dam secret; only this time, it was hers not mines.

My grandmother gave my mother the wrong name when she named her. She should have name her Secret, because every since I, can remember everything that came out of my mother’s mouth was a dam secret.

My life was built on secret’s and Lord knows if she thought you told anything that she said or did, there was hell to pay and "man, that woman knows she can hold a grudge; so long it’s scary and the sad thing about it, is that the person don’t even know what the hell she’s holding a grudge for? And it’s like pulling teethes when you’re asking her why is she holding a grudge on every dam body? What doesn’t make since is if the person don’t know that she’s mad at them it aint hurting nobody but her dam ass and that’s just plum fucking evil.

You would have to be ready to put your fingers or both of your hands over your hears because that woman know she can scream just like a got dam alley cat in- heat.

When my mother comes to confront you about anything you better put your dam finger’s in your ears trust and believe it there’s going to be a lot of screaming and shouting match between whose ever around at the time and the first thing she’s going to say I told you to leave my name out your mouth after she done put your name in her mouth. My mother wants to be heard, but before you can get a word out, she tells you I don’t want to hear it! That’s my mother’s motto I don’t want to hear nothing and don’t tell anybody anything!

Always the first thing that came out of her mouth was don’t tell nobody nothing, and that she meant. My mother said you better not talk about nothing I said, which was nothing to keep a secret for and here I was keeping a mother fucking secret that meant nothing at, all. All I know is that secret was her favor word and I don’t even know if she knew what it meant, shed of been a dam good secret Santa if she had the gifts to go with it and I do mean a secret Santa for the whole dam world. wake-up Santa time to go find some got dam gifts for your other secret Santa’s which is my friends whom help me keep my secret lies, so we can go pick up some more secret to give to our other friends. I know they’re out there somewhere holding some more got dam secrets for your ass and they don’t even know if it’s a dam secret worth keeping.

Yet there dumb ass is keeping it anyway it mean nothing let it go it’s just a word that my mother happens to be stuck with like a bad habit and she uses it to got dam much and it is getting on my got dam last nerves’, so much I wanted to scream.

A got dam secret and I am sick and tired of hearing that dam word coming out of her dam mouth.

Like I said early on my mother didn’t sign those papers when I got that dam abortion her niece sign those dam papers because the only thing my mother knew how to sign was her got dam name; and my cousin had to show her which line to sign her name on.

I don’t know what I was thinking? When I said my mother made me have an abortion, she just went along with the program, that document could’ve said do you agree that after the procedure, we have a right to turn the feasts’ into a clone pig and make it quake like a mother fucking duck. What my mother didn’t know is this bitch could’ve been a regular and getting paid under the table for bringing peoples there just like her. That don’t know what the fuck there signing, when she take them to get in abortion? taking advantage of peoples short coming.

"Just thinking about the shit, makes me sick on the stomach to know that my babies feasts might be in got dam pickle jar in a biology class getting ready to be dissected who knows? I know my mother didn’t know what the hell she was signing all she knows is what her rich ass niece told her after taking, so many people to the abortion clinic getting payee and showing those who don’t know where to put there John Hancock.

All she knew was that I would no longer, be pregnant thanks to her niece with her slick ass, as I said before God repay why she think she done got away with doing some undercover shit and getting paid for the shit that’s she’s done and putting it in her undercover funds in her secret ass piggy bank. With her greedy ass got people thinking that she’s helping them, when she’s really helping her dam self! How the hell did she miss working in the got dam cotton field with her smart ass ideals? That sounded dam good to my mother, so good that she didn’t hesitate to jump her ass in that dam car and say come on girl let’s go get it done before somebody on the block fine out what we are doing.

This was the only thing on their mine; not letting anyone, learns that my mother did not know how to read or write with her secretive ass. because in reality. The secret was never mines!Nor Shay’s it always belonged to, my mother and her niece they were the one’s who wanted to keep it a secret from everyone that they could. It was there secret. It didn’t belong to me nor Shay they just made us, live with the secret that they gave to us.There are too many secrets and no place to put it.

Shay and I didn’t use protection, when we had sexual intercourse. If we would’ve played it smart and used protection, we wouldn’t have gotten pregnant. That goes to show you what goes on in the dark will soon come to light, had we listen to our parent’s when they were trying to teach us right from wrong because they loved us, and didn’t want to see us settle for nothing less, they tried to direct, us in the right direction if we would’ve paid more attention to our parent’s and less attention to those boys, we wouldn’t be going thru this bullshit; either. But instead of listening to our parent’s we had to find out the hard way? Now you see what a hard head and a soft ass get you.

For being fast assed little girls and doing everything our parents told us, not to do! We now have a price to pay!" we’re both pregnant and we don’t know what our mother’s going to do, to us! Our mother’s told us, that we were too fast for our own good, this is why? Both of y’all (ASS) are pregnant and to dam young to know the first thing about taking care of a dam baby, with y’all fasts (ass).

Because y’all have a hard (head) and a (soft) (ASS) this is why you both ended up pregnant! now we have to pay for this shit. Shay and I looked at each other and said; hell, they were the one’s whom made us curious as to why they kept calling us fasts and now! They want to fuss, because we were curious; shit, don’t get mad now!Shit, you live and you learn.

This is what made us curious; to why? Would our parents continue to call us fasts? when they knew! All we were doing was just talking to the boys, laughing, playing and just having some dam fun like kids suppose to do. So what made them call us that? Each and every time they saw us playing with boys; this is when they would call us fasts. So this was our name in their book. way before we even thought about having sexual intercourse Shay and I were marked for life.

Shay and I were very close, we were the oldest of our siblings, Shay was twelve the oldest of two sisters and brothers. And I was fourteen the oldest of two brothers and one sister. Shay and I did almost everything together, but we didn’t know that we both were going to become pregnant around the same time. What a surprise; we didn’t plan this it just happened, so here is what."

Shay mother Marilyn and my mother made Shay and I have an abortion at such a young age, as I said early on. Shay; was only twelve and I was only fourteen at the time. Shay and I knew that we were wrong for going against our mothers wishes and having sexual intercourse, we both knew that our parent’s was going to be mad as hell at us.

Yet we did it anyway, our parent’s always told us that we were too fasts for our own good and we better not; let anyone." Put anything between our legs, this was their way of saying you better not have sex nor allow anyone to touch you in the wrong place. Instead of coming out and telling us we better not have sex. They said it over and over we were tired as hell of hearing this! Don’t let anyone put nothing between your dam legs or you guys will wish you never had. Because we’re going to beat the shit; out of y’all and when we get threw beating y’all ass you and Shay will never want to look at another boy, as long as you both shall live.

Back then they had it bad making promises that they were sure to make good on. If you we’re told that you were going to get an ass whooping when your parent’s came home it didn’t matter what time it was, they would wake you up whooping your ass. Shay and I we’re too afraid to go to sleep because they both promised us