My Life as a Professional Seat Cover: A Memoir of Life on the Road

MY LIFE

AS A PROFESSIONAL

SEAT COVER

A MEMOIR OF LIFE ON THE ROAD

SUZANNE MARSH

iUniverse, Inc.

Bloomington

My Life as a Professional Seat Cover

A memoir of life on the road

Copyright © 2012 by Suzanne Marsh.

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ISBN: 978-1-4759-3332-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4759-3333-8 (ebk)

iUniverse rev. date: 08/14/2012

CONTENTS

Preface

Acknowledgements

Chapter I

Farewell To The Normal World Hello To The World Of Trucking

Chapter II

Four Weeks Of Anticipation I Miss You Honey!

Chapter III

The Adventure Begins From Closets To No Closets

Chapter IV

Dispatchers And Load Coordinators Friends Or Fiends

Chapter V

Night Dispatch How Dumb Can Night Dispatch Be?

Chapter VI

Load And Loads From Hell Mounds And Mounds Of Almonds

Chapter VII

Directions You Want The Truck To Go Where?

Chapter VIII

The Department Of Transportation Dot Watch Dogs Of The Trucking Industry

Chapter IX

Drivers And Their Quirks Two Feet Required

Chapter X

Pets On The Truck He Shot The What?

Chapter XI

Life On The Truck Never Did Me No Harm The Shower Is A What??

Chapter XII

Weather Look Out The Window

Chapter XIII

The Challenges Of Modern Technology That Damn Gps!!!

Chapter XIV

The Driving Styles Of The Not So Rich And Famous I Am Not Number One

Chapter XV

The Day The World Stood Still A Mothers’ Grief

Chapter XVI

Knights Of The Road A Tarnished Image

Chapter XVII

The Costs Of Being An Owner Operator There Goes The Budget

Chapter XVIII

To Be An Owner Operator Or Not To Be With Profound Apologies To William Shakespeare

Chapter XIX

Jason’s Law Jason’s Legacy

Chapter XX

P.A.T.T. And C.R.A.S.H. Is Safety The Primary Concern?

Chapter XXI

My Conclusions

Chapter XXII

Authors’ Notes

Glossery Of Terms

Illustrations

1) 1996 Earl standing in front of a cabover

note JB Hunt uniform

2) 1997 CCC Express

3) 1997 Interior of International

4) 1999 Kenworth T600 our first truck

5) 2001 T2000 the truck from hell

(Princess, Earl and I)

6) 2010 770 Volvo hauling doubles

Rosie is in the window

7) 1996 Sherman Texas load was on the floor-

dock old flatbed trailer

8) 2011 This is what happens when

a steer tire blows

9) 2007 Volvo 780

10) Interior of the 780

Dedication

Earl Dad Karen and Helen

PREFACE

The idea was conceived for My Life as a Professional Seat Cover when our financial adviser asked me about life on a big rig and the financial impact of owning a big rig. My answer to that and other questions are answered in this book. I have been a professional seat cover for over eighteen years; and without doubt will retire as such.

My other objective in writing My Life as a Professional Seat Cover was to bridge the gap between truck drivers and the general motoring public. There are so many misconceptions about truck drivers. People tend to forget that without truck drivers making deliveries they would not have cars to drive, clothes on their backs, and food in their bellies. Think about that for a moment.

I hope you the reader will enjoy and even laugh at some of the misadventures I have had over these past eighteen years because someday over the road trucking may only be found in history books.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Earl my professional driver, husband, best friend, and mentor, thank you sweetheart for bearing with me as I wrote My Life as a Professional Seat Cover. Also thank you for reminding me about all the wonderful adventures we have shared in the past eighteen years of your driving career.

Dad for always being there for me; I only wish you could have seen this book to fruition.

Karen my elfin daughter who listened as I read then reread parts of this book and for being stalwart during the rewrites.

Cousin Helen for allowing us to be guests in your home while Earl attended truck driving school, for all your help over the years and for all of the adventures we have shared.

CHAPTER I

Farewell to the normal world

Hello to the world of trucking

There are so many twists and turns in the trucking industry today that they are comparable to the twists and turns of the highways and byways we travel. I never thought I would become a professional seat cover that has been my title for eighteen years. For outsiders of the trucking industry the definition of a professional seat cover is a passenger who does not drive the semi. There are teams in which both truckers drive; then there is the team of Earl the professional driver and Suzanne the professional seat cover.

Just how I obtained this moniker, is what this memoir is about. In May of 1995, Earl my husband of eleven years, phoned me at work to inform me he no longer had a job as an automobile mechanic. Those three short minutes turned both of our lives upside down and gave us the opportunity of a life time.

We discussed the fact that Earl’s Dad drove semi so we knew his parents would understand the trucking thing it was my Dad we were concerned about. I can still see him sitting at the dining room table with a donut poised at his lips when I sputtered: Dad, Earl is going to truck driving school. Dad never one to be abashed asked succinctly: are you insane? I still ask myself that on a regular basis.

Once we reached our decision we began considering different truck driving schools in the Buffalo, New York area. There was NTS which is the acronym for National Trucking Schools; but the one in the Buffalo area was full and not accepting any additional students; that was the bad news. The good news was that they also had a school in Liverpool, New York that was accepting students. We stayed with a relative while Earl attended school and I worked as a temporary data entry expert to support us.

In 1995, J.B. Hunt trucking company did not have a driving school however they were accepting students from NTS the cost was $3500.00. The cost in 2012 is $15,000.00. There are truck driving schools run by trucking companies such as Schneider and Swift. Truck driving students that contract with truck company schools must drive for that company for a year or the student must pay the entire cost of the schooling.

Each evening Earl would come home and we would discuss how things were going, Earl was doing well and my job was fine. Everything was going according to plan.

One chilly autumn afternoon while changing into his zumba sweat pants, which were the traditional red, white and blue of the Buffalo Bills football team, he asked me where the toilet plunger was. I asked why he needed the toilet plunger. His reply was: my driving instructor told me I need to practice shifting gears. He definitely had my attention although I just could not fathom what a toilet plunger had to do with shifting gears. Being the dutiful wife that I am, I went to the bathroom and located the toilet plunger.

He took the toilet plunger from my hand, then requested that I sit next to him; pretending that this was a big rig. This seemed sane enough until he began to shift gears with vroom, vroom sound effects! The more he vroomed the more the toilet plunger ah shifter began to move but when the feet got involved with the imaginary clutch that was just too much for me. I began to laugh so hard the tears were running down my cheeks! I was already without realizing it saying goodbye to my normal life and hello to the world of trucking.

Over the next four weeks there were a lot of vrooms, practice and a great deal of anticipation. Earl graduated second in his class; those practice sessions really paid off. He took his road test and passed it. Now he was ready to enter into the next phase of his training; four weeks with a driver trainer.

CHAPTER II

Four Weeks of Anticipation

I miss you honey!

October 30th, 1995 marked the end of the first phase of Earls’ training at NTS; it was time for him to begin phase two; four weeks with a driver trainer. The driver trainer is the most important person in the student drivers’ world. The driver trainer is responsible for instructing the student in all phases of truck driving. The student driver should be instructed about the use of log books. Scaling loads so that they are legal and understanding the weight limits. The most critical part of the student drivers’ regime should be learning to safely back up.

Earl and I entered the drivers’ room, at the JB Hunt terminal in Syracuse, New York, looking for his driver trainer a man, by the name of David. It was very easy to locate him; he was the only one in the drivers’ room. He strode over and introduced himself to both of us. David then asked if I would like to see where Earl would be spending his next four weeks.

David was very perceptive when he asked me if I would like to see where Earl would be spending the next four weeks. I sighed and replied halfheartedly: yeah, ok, whatever. David then led the way to dispatch where we were introduced to Mike; David and Earls’ dispatcher. We then walked down another short corridor and exited into the truck parking area. David led the way over to his cab over. What ensued was something out of the old situation comedy: I Love Lucy.

David instructed Earl to stow his duffle bag and sleeping bag in the truck which he did; as I warily eyed the monster that was about to take over our lives. Earl stowed his gear then clambered back out of the truck. The old cab overs were a challenge to climb in and out of. The first step is just large enough to place one foot on; the trick is to make sure to grip the handles provided on the side of the truck. I accomplished that with no problem; however I have a fear of height; I get sick looking out a second story window. I clung to the side of the truck like a monkey with suction cups; I was not coming down from my perch for anyone!

David first tried to explain that if I would just put my foot down on the lower step I would be fine; easy for him to do but not for me. He attempted twice to coerce me into climbing down. The conversation between David and I consisted of:

Put your foot down on the first step

You want me to do what?

Put your foot down on the first step.

Are you insane?!

He would have done better talking to the truck; he no doubt would have gotten further. I was not putting my foot on that first step. I reasoned if I did that I would also have to slide my hands down the handles. I clung to those handles for all I was worth. I assume that David must have given Earl a rather dubious look as if to say: ‘she is your wife you get her down.’ Earl no doubt countered that look with one of his own: ‘you asked her if she wanted to look inside you deal with her’ in the interim I clung to the handles of the truck with both feet glued to the second step.

David then decided on a new tact; they had a load going to Knoxville, Tennessee. They needed to leave now or they would be late delivering the load. I thought to myself: ‘you might as well take me with you because I am not budging from this step.’ Then between them they hit on a solution; David took my left foot and placed it on the first step while Earl held onto the rest of me. Twenty minutes later I was off the truck and on my way home to Buffalo, New York while Earl began his trucking adventures with David.

I pulled out of the J.B. Hunt terminal and began the two and a half hour drive home. The drive home that chilly October day in 1995; was the longest day of my life or so it seemed at the time. Before Earl left, he promised to call me at nine o’clock each evening. The first night I watched that phone like a