Natalie's Journey

© 2011 by Anita Harrison. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 07/13/2011

ISBN: 978-1-4567-8357-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4567-8358-7 (ebk)

Printed in the United States of America

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Acknowledgments

Natalie’s Journey

Seven years earlier

Present day

Twenty years earlier

Ten years earlier

Present day

Acknowledgments

I want to say a huge thank you to my my sister Lynzi for being the first person to read Natalie’s Journey. I am extremely grateful for all her editing, constructive criticism and very helpful suggestions, some of which I actually used!

Thank you to my parents, Maureen & Peter, for believing in me and inspiring me to write in the first place. Both of you have a gift of writing that you must have passed onto me!

Thank you also to my wonderful, lovely home group (you know who you are). You have encouraged me so much along this writing journey.

And final thanks go to my husband Rob for his love and support and to my two teenage sons, Peter & Joseph. For taking the mickey!

David & Helena Myers (Postmaster and School Secretary)

*Rebecca Roberts (Housewife and John’s wife)

Natalie Myers (Fashion Writer)

Joseph & Elizabeth Daniels (Farmer and Farmer’s Wife)

Ben Daniels (Farmer)

Maurice & Alison Roberts (Vet and A&E Nurse)

*John Roberts (Vet and Rebecca’s husband)

Chloe Roberts (Bank Cashier and Natalie’s best friend)

Suzanne Roberts (Early Years Teacher)

Katy Roberts (University Student)

Mark & Jayne Matthews (Minister and Teaching Assistant)

Sam Matthews (Sixth Form Student)

Luke Matthews (twin and School Student)

Lydia Matthews (twin and School Student)

Marcia Sheridan (Fashion Photographer at Style One and Natalie’s flat mate)

Michelle Tranter (Editor-in-Chief at Style One magazine)

Barbara Johnson (Senior Nurse at Devon Lodge)

James Jimmy Duffy (Physiotherapist at Devon Lodge)

Liam Woods (Bank Branch Manager and Suzanne’s boyfriend)

Karl Cotteridge (Graphic Designer and Liam’s best friend)

Anthony Stephens (Editor of Marston News)

Zack Burrows (Marston News Reporter)

Joy Bolton (Marston News Receptionist)

Kerry Hopkins (Marston News Administrative Assistant)

Melanie Ford (Marston News Office Junior)

Michael Lavers (Marston News Photographer)

Rebecca is married to John. Two children, Lucy (almost 4) and baby Peter (15 months)

Natalie’s Journey

Natalie Myers stretched out her whole body, yawned, rubbed her neck vigorously and then sat bolt upright. She was aching from sleeping in an awkward position and her blanket had slipped from her shoulders, causing her to feel chilly. Natalie glanced around at the passengers sitting near her. Most of them were still asleep, although one man was watching a film with his earphones on. ‘I hate flying,’ she thought to herself, but it wasn’t strictly true. It was just long journeys that annoyed her, being unable to stretch her legs and have a change of scenery. Sitting comfortably on a plane with meals served to her at regular intervals, was no hardship at all. Interrupting her thoughts, a friendly cabin crew member passed by and Natalie questioned her, ‘How much longer will it be to Heathrow?’ The woman smiled, ‘Just over an hour, it won’t take long. We’re just about to serve breakfast.’ Natalie smiled back, that wasn’t so bad.

Natalie picked up the earphones from the entertainment system and searched the channels to find something that interested her but nothing did, so she snuggled back under her blanket and rested her eyes. Before long, the cabin crew started serving the breakfasts but Natalie wasn’t hungry. She had too much on her mind and even felt a little queasy, although when the cabin crew offered a drink, she did not refuse. ‘Would you prefer tea or coffee?’ ‘Coffee please,’ replied Natalie, ‘I need to wake myself up!’ Natalie reclined in her seat, enjoyed the coffee and thought about what lay ahead in England.

Two days earlier, her older sister Rebecca had phoned to say that their mum had taken a turn for the worst. Mum had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer 8 months ago and had been deteriorating ever since. ‘She’s been so brave,’ thought Natalie, ‘she’s been there for us all. Why oh why does it have to be our mum. We love her so much.’ Mum getting ill was a double blow, as Rebecca & Natalie’s father, David, had tragically died in a road traffic accident when Natalie was just 17.

Natalie lived in New York and was a fashion writer for Style One magazine. She had worked there for 2 years and it was a job she adored. She thrived on her hectic lifestyle and worked to unrealistic deadlines. She got excited about attending fashion shows and spotting a new trend or design. She lived in Manhattan and had discovered that it was the most amazing place to live. Natalie loved to jog through Central Park most mornings before work and would then buy a Latte and a newspaper on her way back. She would often eat a fruit salad for breakfast, up on her rooftop terrace, overlooking the park. The view from her apartment was amazing but she could never have afforded to live in a place like it on her own, however, when her colleague Marcia who also worked at Style One, asked if anyone wanted to flat-share, Natalie jumped at the chance. The rooftop itself was fairly small but they had made it a very special and relaxing area, where they loved to entertain their friends. There were tubs of bright colourful blooms and ivy’s growing up trellis. There was an iron framed table and chairs with suspended lanterns attached to the walls.

Now everything was changing. Natalie was on her way back to England because Rebecca needed her. Mum was deteriorating rapidly and so Natalie had been sent for. Natalie thought for a moment about John (Rebecca’s husband) who would be waiting for her at the airport. Strong, reliable John, who had been a pillar of strength to Rebecca and her mother, Helena, during her illness. John worked locally as a vet at his father’s veterinary practice and was well liked in the Devonshire village. He had been married to Natalie’s sister, Rebecca, for 6 years and they had two young children—Lucy and baby Peter. Natalie’s thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the cabin announcement. ‘Please return to your seats, stow your tables in the upright position and fasten your seat belts. We are on approach to London, Heathrow. Thank you.’ ‘Ok—here we go,’ thought Natalie, tightening her seat belt. She would need all the courage she could muster to face what lay ahead.

After what seemed like hours, but was probably more like 20 minutes, Natalie recognized her navy blue Samsonite case ambling along the carousel, but she struggled in the crowd to retrieve it. A tall, grey haired man who had been observing her, stepped forward to help. ‘Thank you,’ she smiled at the gentlemen, ‘that’s alright,’ he replied, ‘you looked rather preoccupied my dear.’ Natalie smiled sweetly, ‘I really was—thanks.’ As Natalie struggled to lift her case onto the trolley, once again, the kind, old gentlemen came to her aid. ‘Thanks again,’ she grinned cheekily at him. The man doffed his imaginary hat at Natalie, as she persevered in pushing the uncooperative trolley towards the exit and struggled as she manoeuvred it through ‘Nothing to Declare’ and out into Arrivals.

She scoured the vast crowd for John but he was nowhere to be seen. Natalie bit down hard onto her lip, took a huge breath and panicked. Her hazel eyes began scouring back and forth at the noisy, milling crowd and yet there was no sign of him. Suddenly, her eyes were drawn to a tall, Asian man embracing his wife while his two little boys were jumping all over him. ‘Welcome home Daddy,’ they shouted. ‘Did you bring us presents?’ Natalie smiled, catching eyes with the man’s wife, who beamed back at her. Natalie could see drivers with signs that read, O’Neill, Johnson, and Greenwood and yet still nothing for her! Natalie’s lip began to tremble, the weariness of her trip overwhelmed her and her whole body sagged. She let out audible, deep sigh. ‘This is all I need,’ she groaned to herself, ‘maybe he’s got the wrong time or perhaps he’s forgotten,’ her mind started racing through hundreds of possibilities but suddenly, there he was, striding through the crowd and smiling broadly at her. ‘Hey Natalie over here. How are you? How was your flight?’ John bombarded her with questions as he reached over to grab her trolley. Natalie threw her arms around his neck and he hugged her back. ‘I’m really glad to be on solid ground!’ John grinned, ‘Good, good, come on then, let’s get you to the car. I’m sure you’ll want to be home as soon as poss and we have a long drive ahead of us.’ Natalie nodded. ‘How is she, really?’ Natalie enquired, not being able to wait another second before asking. ‘Well,’ John hesitated, sighing deeply, ‘not too good, but I’m sure she will be delighted to see you!’ ‘How is Beccs coping?’ asked Natalie quickly, before he had a chance to change the subject. John’s shoulders sagged, as if all the cares of the world were upon him. ‘It’s been easier since the Macmillan Nurse has been staying. She arrives about 8.00pm in evening and stays all night. She administers the morphine and leaves in the morning. Rebecca manages the other hours but it will be a lot easier now you’re here.’ ‘Yes, I want to do all I can to help. I feel dreadful that I’ve been away.’ ‘Well she wouldn’t let us call you before. Helena was adamant that you were needed in New York and only when the time came, should you be called.’ ‘Oh Mum!’ muttered Natalie crossly, under her breath.

Natalie slept for most the journey to Devon, as she was still very tired from her flight. John drove carefully into the village of Wellsmead. It was a village he had grown to love for over 20 years. It was traditional in the sense that it had a lovely pub and beer garden. It also had the village school, post office/convenience store and that was mostly it. If you needed larger shops you would have to travel 3 miles away to the popular town of Chaunston, where John worked as a veterinary surgeon, in a practice belonging to his father.

Before long, John pulled up on the gravel drive, outside Willow Cottage, and Natalie instantly awoke. ‘Oh… we’re here!’ she exclaimed. ‘What awful company I’ve been for you. Sorry John.’ ‘Don’t worry, you were tired! It’s fine… honest.’ Natalie stared up at the traditional thatched cottage with its white pebble dashed walls and small pale blue shuttered windows. There was large porch with wisteria growing over the top and a real working chimney on the roof. The gravel drive extended into a gravel path that led through a beautiful tendered cottage garden to the porch door. Natalie had always appreciated her mothers love of gardening and together they had spent many happy hours planting, weeding and designing. It was probably where her love for bright colours had been honed. At various seasons in the year, there were lupines, honeysuckle, foxgloves, Michaelmas daisies, hydrangea and roses and the scent of the flowers was divine. Natalie’s thoughts were rudely interrupted by a shriek, as 4 year old Lucy, crashed through the garden gate. ‘Auntie Natty. You’re here! Auntie Natty, come and see my garden. It’s really good and I did it all by myself! Auntie Natty, come on!’ Natalie grinned, ‘Maybe later Lucy, but first I need to see Granny and Mummy.’ Little Lucy looked crestfallen. Natalie grinned at her, ‘It’s ok Lucy, I’ll see your garden soon enough. Just let me have a cup of tea first.’ Lucy’s disappointed face, shone again. ‘Okey dokey Auntie Natty, I’ll show you later and you Daddy.’ As fast as Lucy had arrived, her little legs had carried her back through the white picket gate around the side of the cottage and into the garden.

‘Come on Nat, let’s get you inside,’ said John kindly, ‘I’ll bring the bags.’ Natalie looked up and smiled at John and a look passed between them. With every step that Natalie made on the gravel path, her heart pounded in sympathy. As she stood under the wisteria covered porch and leaned towards the brass knocker, the door flung open. Rebecca peered around cautiously and suddenly her face relaxed. She grinned a relieved but emotional smile as she opened the cottage door fully and the sisters clung to each other. Finally, Rebecca pulled away as she glanced up at her younger but taller sister, taking in her wavy dark blond hair and peaches and cream complexion. She was a very pretty girl. Rebecca had always pondered how two sisters could look so different. Rebecca in turn was average height, with dark brown straight hair and an olive complexion. ‘I’m so relieved you’re here,’ admitted Rebecca, ‘Mum’s been asking me constantly, when you’ll be arriving! Was your flight ok?’ ‘Not bad. Where is she then?’ answered Natalie. ‘Upstairs in her room.’ ‘Lead the way,’ demanded Natalie, not wanting to waste a single second. Natalie could feel her heart pounding again as she climbed the steep, narrow, cottage stairs and nervously pushed open her mother’s pine door. She stepped down into the room and poked her head around. ‘Mum—can I come in?’ ‘Natalie! Oh Natalie! You’re back.’ Helena, was slumped on her pillows, but managed to pull herself up, her arms outstretched and her pale face regained some colour as she beamed at her youngest daughter. ‘Come here my darling, let me look at you.’ Natalie rushed forward, clambered onto the pastel patchwork quilt and into her mothers arms. The two women held each other, relishing the closeness and love that they shared. Natalie thought, how much her mother had altered since her last visit home 10 months previously.

Helena’s eyes were still shining but her hair had grayed further and she looked pale and tired. ‘Come and sit closer, my dear,’ said Helena, patting the quilt next to her. ‘I need to have a good look at you.’ Natalie smiled and did as she was told and Helena stared hard at her youngest daughter. She was an attractive girl with dark blond wavy hair, hazel eyes and bow shaped lips. She had a light tan and a peachy complexion. She was slim and smartly dressed in a taupe tailored top and navy linen trousers. ‘You look well darling,’ smiled Helena, warmly, ‘New York must be suiting you!’

Helena & Natalie spent the best part of 10 minutes catching up on Natalie’s news, when the bedroom door burst open and Lucy came bounding in and jumped onto the bed. ‘Granny—I’ve been gardening!’ exclaimed Lucy excitedly, ‘and I’ve planted seeds and dug things up—it’s great.’ Helena and Natalie grinned, wondering what mess would be found in the garden later. ‘Oh lovely darling, that’s wonderful,’ replied Helena, while Natalie helped Lucy to get comfortable on the bed. Just then, Rebecca stepped down into the bedroom, she was carrying a pine tray with 3 mugs of tea and a plate of fresh scones. ‘Ooh yummy,’ said Helena, inhaling the mouthwatering aroma, ‘you know, my appetite may just have come back.’ Natalie and Rebecca smiled to each other, as they settled down to drink their tea.

Some time later, Natalie had moved into her old bedroom and began to unpack. It had been a difficult process because Lucy had decided to help and had emptied the contents of Natalie’s case all over the bed! Natalie smiled. It was hard work with that girl she thought, but she adored being an auntie and was devoted to both Lucy and Peter. Natalie paused for a moment, sat down on edge of the bed and glanced out of the window, beyond the garden to the meadow behind. It was so beautiful. On an impulse, she leaned over to push the bedroom window open. She was greeted immediately by birdsong, the smell of honeysuckle and a cool breeze wafted the pale peach curtains. Natalie sighed, and decided that she would make a quick check on her mother, to see if she needed anything. John, Rebecca and the children had left earlier to get the children’s tea and Natalie was enjoying the solitude after her long and busy day. Natalie quietly eased her mother’s pine bedroom door open and as it creaked, she held her breath but everything was calm. Her mother had snuggled down under the quilt and was snoring peacefully. From nowhere, tears suddenly welled up in Natalie’s eyes. ‘Lord—why?’ she muttered under her breath. ‘This is too difficult. I’ve already lost one parent and I’m not ready to lose another.’

Seven years earlier

Natalie and Rebecca’s father, David, had died tragically when he was 56. He had been killed instantly in a car crash on a country lane but the driver in the other car, who had been drinking heavily, survived. The girls had taken it badly, Natalie who was 17 at the time, had been about to take her A levels and Rebecca was 19 and had just started working as a receptionist at John’s Veterinary Surgery. In fact, the events of that winter brought Helena, Rebecca and Natalie much closer and it led in turn to Rebecca and John announcing their engagement earlier than planned. Helena initially had reservations about them marrying so young. The couple had met in the church youth group in their early teens, not long after John’s parents, Maurice & Alison Roberts, had moved to Wellsmead. Maurice had taken over the Veterinary practice in Chaunston and Alison began working in the A&E department at Chaunston’s General Hospital. They were a lovely family who attended church infrequently but John was most keen because he learned about God through the youth club.

The Myers family attended St Marys’ too, which was a lovely church in the village of Wellsmead, where they lived. The minister there was Mark Matthews and he was a young, enthusiastic minister with a friendly wife Jayne and lively children, Sam and the twins—Luke and Lydia. Mark Matthews and his wife Jayne had been a pillar of support to Helena, Rebecca and Natalie when David had died. Mark had known David very well, as he had been the church treasurer, when Mark had been appointed the minister of St Marys’ and his family had moved into the Vicarage. Mark had been 37 years old at that time having been ordained for just 5 years and pastoral care like this seemed beyond his capabilities. Jayne had arranged for some wives in the church to club together and cook meals for the family and took it in turns to phone and see if the family needed anything. Mark, himself, had sat with Helena all night long in Chaunston General Hospital and held her hand when the decision came to turn off the life-support machine. Mark recalled how Helena with tears streaming down her cheeks questioned him. ‘Why Mark, why David? He was so healthy. We were so happy and now… . this?’ Mark had paused, took a deep breath and sighed. He did not have an answer for Helena and he was desperately fighting back tears himself, as he had loved David dearly. Deep inside, Mark called on the strength of the Holy Spirit before formulating any kind of answer for Helena. Her eyes, held his, ‘Why, why?’ she said again. ‘The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord,’ replied Mark, feeling he had given the most inadequate answer ever! Suddenly another verse lodged in his memory, ‘For my ways are not your ways.’ Mark struggled with himself. Should he tell Helena what the Lord had laid on his heart. Helena was once again staring at him, though her eyes were blurred with tears that were pouring off her face and down onto her navy jumper. Mark took another deep breath and shared what the Lord had laid on his heart. Helena’s shoulders slumped, she made a sort of hiccup/coughing sound and nodded. ‘It doesn’t make it any easier though—does it?’ she implored. Mark put his arm around her shoulder and drew her close. ‘No, no, it really doesn’t,’ he replied.

Two hours later, Mark had driven Helena, Rebecca and Natalie home from the hospital. Jayne had been waiting up for them at their home, Willow Cottage. She embraced Helena and rested her hands simultaneously on the girls shoulders. ‘I have brewed a pot of tea, come and sit down,’ said Jayne, kindly. Helena allowed herself to be led to her own comfy sofa and slumped down while Jayne bustled around getting drinks for them all. Both Rebecca and Natalie looked shell-shocked. Their faces were raw from crying and they were beginning to feel numb. Suddenly, Natalie disturbed the silence by blurting, ‘the other driver should have died as well. It’s not fair! Why did my dad have to die?’ She then burst into tears again. Mark moved over to sit on the chair next to her. ‘Natalie,’ he said gently, ‘come here.’ Natalie leaned over and rested her head on Mark’s shoulder. ‘I loved him so much,’ she whispered. ‘He knew,’ said Mark kindly.

Mark and Jayne Matthews continued to be there for the remaining Myers family members over the coming weeks and months. In fact, Jayne insisted that Helena and the girls come over for meals regularly and was there for them whenever they needed to talk. Eventually, a few months later, life got back to as normal as it was ever going to be. Helena, Rebecca or Natalie could reminisce about David without bursting into tears but their memories remained poignant.

* * *

Present day

About 7.30pm that evening, Natalie and Helena were sharing a cup of tea. Natalie once again curled up on her mothers bed. Helena seemed to have received a boost of energy since Natalie’s arrival earlier in the day and they were catching up on all their news. Suddenly, the cottage door rapped loudly. Natalie scooted off the bed and ran lightly down the stairs. She prised open the old oak door and looked quizzically at the small, dark haired, wiry looking woman. ‘Hello,’ smiled the lady broadly. Her smile lighting up her whole face. ‘I’m Sue… the MacMillan nurse.’ Natalie smiled but the smile did not reach her eyes, ‘Oh yes, we’re expecting you, aren’t we?’ Sue nodded, ‘Yes I’ve been looking after Helena for a few days now.’ ‘Please come in, I’m Natalie. Helena’s younger daughter.’ ‘I thought I recognised you. I’ve seen your photos in the lounge.’ ‘Oh dear!’ said Natalie beaming.

Natalie stood back to let Sue climb the steep stairs to Helena’s bedroom. She knocked lightly on Helena’s door, ‘Helena, Helena, it’s me Sue. Is it ok if I come in?’ ‘Oh yes,’ replied Helena, ‘Come on in, dear.’ Natalie stared thoughtfully up the stairs. She felt a little in the way and decided she would leave them to it. Instead she moved into the tidy cottage kitchen. Natalie had loved this warm, family kitchen when she was growing up. Memories came flooding back of standing there, with her apron on learning how to bake. Natalie had eventually been excellent at baking and her Victoria jam sponges were talked about at the local village fete! Rebecca though had struggled with sponge cakes but instead had mastered the art of making cherry scones. Helena had been determined that both her girls would be competent cooks when they left home and that wish had definitely come true.

Natalie walked over the deep sink and began turning the taps until the water was steaming. She decided to distract herself by washing up and found herself humming a hymn as she was doing so. It was the song, ‘There is a redeemer,’ written by Melody Green and it was one of Natalie’s favourites. She couldn’t help herself but found she began to sing the chorus, ‘Thank you O my Father, for giving us your son and leaving your Spirit till the work on the earth is done.’ As Natalie sang the words, a sustaining peace washed over her and she felt in her heart that God’s presence was with her. ‘Thank you Father,’ she said out loud. Her thoughts were suddenly disturbed by the front door creaking open. ‘Cooee—Natalie where are you?’ Natalie walked back into the lounge. ‘Beccs… . you’re back! I wasn’t expecting to see you again tonight!’ ‘Yeah I know. I’ve left John putting the kids to bed, and he said it was fine for me to come back and see you properly.’ The two sisters hugged and then sat on the sofa. ‘I noticed Sue’s car in the drive,’ said Rebecca. ‘That’s right, she’s upstairs with mum. I decided to leave them to it,’ replied Natalie. ‘Good, that’s what I normally do. It gives mum some privacy when Sue examines her and gives her the medication.’ ‘Is she in a lot of pain, do you think?’ asked Natalie. ‘No I don’t think so,’ said Rebecca sadly, ‘but Sue said, as soon as mum is in pain that isn’t being controlled by the tablets, she’s going to get the doctor to put a syringe driver in her arm.’ ‘What’s that?’ ‘It’s a pump that automatically pumps morphine into the veins, without having the need for separate injections. Sue showed one to me and mum a couple of days ago.’ ‘Oh right, I see,’ said Natalie, ‘Let’s hope she doesn’t need one for a while.’

About half an hour later, Sue popped downstairs. She smiled at the girls. ‘Your mum’s asleep. Would you mind if I made myself a coffee?’ ‘I’m so sorry,’ said Natalie, ‘How rude of me, let me make you one. Milk and sugar?’ ‘Yes please, one sugar,’ smiled Sue, ‘I do feel bad about interrupting your conversation. You’ve obviously got a lot to catch up on.’ ‘Don’t apologise,’ replied Rebecca, ‘We’ve got plenty of time to catch up. Anyway I shouldn’t stay too long because Natalie looks shattered and needs a good night’s sleep.’ Sue nodded. ‘You are both very different aren’t you? I mean, your looks are quite different.’ ‘Yeah we are, but we are similar in other ways,’ grinned Rebecca, ‘We both like tall, dark and handsome men and are both good cooks!’ Sue roared with laughter and Rebecca joined in. Natalie came back in with a tray of coffees. ‘What’s so funny?’ Natalie stated, looking puzzled. Her comment made Sue and Rebecca laugh even more!

After the women had finished their drinks, Rebecca kissed Natalie goodnight and told her she would see her in the morning. Sue bid goodnight to both girls and went back upstairs to sit with Helena. Natalie cleaned up in the kitchen, poured herself a glass of water and climbed the stairs once again to her bedroom. She quickly used the bathroom and before long was snuggled down in her old bed. She felt warm and cosy. Although Natalie was very tired, her mind was active and she knew it would be a while before she dropped off to sleep. In fact she was still on New York time and her body clock had gone haywire so she sat upright, pushed her quilt forward and switched on the bedside lamp and a warm glow enveloped the room. So much was playing on her mind and now that she was on her own, her fears began to crowd her mind. All of a sudden, an awareness of the Lord’s presence came upon Natalie. She heard the words, ‘Fear not, for I am with you,’ and couldn’t quite understand whether she had audibly heard the words or if she had just merely imagined them. ‘Either way… . wow,’ she thought to herself. In reply, Natalie said aloud, ‘Lord… . I need you. I need you to take my fears away. Mum needs you. I would love for you to restore her to full health but I’m afraid that what is happening is your will.’ Again words entered Natalie’s mind, ‘My peace I give to you. My peace I leave with you. Wow again,’ thought Natalie and all at once became peaceful. ‘That’s amazing, Lord,’ she said out loud, ‘I feel it.’

For the past 12 months, Natalie had been keeping a journal where she recorded her favourite Bible verses and helpful passages from her quiet times. She had been encouraged to start a journal of her own, after hearing the testimony of Heidi Wilkins, a Christian novelist who had spoken at her church in New York. Heidi had shared how her own journal had been a wonderful way of learning from God and the Holy Spirit and had helped to recall how she had been growing in her faith and Natalie wanted to emulate her. Natalie had enjoyed writing in her own journal so much that she was now on her second book. She got out of bed, and rummaged in her flight bag for the journal and a pen. Natalie wrote the date in her journal, together with the words, she believed the Lord had spoken to her. Then feeling comforted, Natalie turned off the light and snuggled back down in bed and prayed as she fell deeply asleep.

When Natalie awoke the next morning, for a minute she didn’t know where she was. It confused her that it was all so quiet. She was used to the constant noises of New York City and Wellsmead was a sleepy village with a few birds singing the dawn chorus. As she sat up, she definitely smelt hot buttered toast and realized that she was famished. Grabbing her dressing gown from the back of the bedroom door, Natalie scurried downstairs. In the kitchen she found Sue placing dollops of homemade marmalade on the already buttered toast. ‘That smells delicious,’ stated Natalie. ‘Want some?’ asked Sue, ‘Sit there a minute and I’ll get you some. I’m just going to see if I can tempt your mum.’ Natalie added some water to the kettle and switched it on. Sue was back in no time and set about making some more toast. ‘How is mum this morning?’ enquired Natalie. Sue smiled, sympathetically. ‘Not too bad but she was awake for a couple of hours in the night. The sooner that Dr Groves can put the syringe drive in, the better it will be for her.’ ‘Oh right,’ said Natalie sadly, realising what this meant. After Natalie had eaten her toast, she grabbed her cup of coffee and climbed the stairs to her mum’s room. She eased the door open and peered around. ‘Morning mum. How are you today?’ breezed Natalie. ‘Oh hi darling. I’m… . Ok but I’ve been better. Dr Groves should be coming to see me this afternoon.’ ‘Yeah, Sue said something,’ replied Natalie, smiling encouragingly.

After catching up, Natalie excused herself to go and have a bath. A while later, Sue knocked on Natalie’s bedroom door, ‘Natalie, love, it’s time for me to go. Dr Groves should be calling around 2.00pm and I will be back about 8.00pm tonight. Ok?’ Natalie replied, ‘Oh right. Thanks Sue… . For everything. Thanks so much for what you’ve been doing for mum.’ ‘That’s ok. It’s a pleasure. She’s a model patient. Bye then.’ After Sue had gone. Natalie got dressed and went downstairs to sort out the kitchen. She was in the process of sorting out some washing when the the front door opened. ‘Hi Nat, hi mum. It’s me!’ shouted Rebecca. Natalie and Rebecca hugged each other. ‘How’s mum today?’ asked Rebecca. ‘Well… . you know,’ said Natalie, sadly, ‘could be better. Where’s Lucy and Peter?’ ‘Lucy is at Pre-School,’ explained Rebecca, ‘and Peter is asleep in his car seat, in the hall. Come and see but don’t wake him. I’ve only just got him back to sleep!’ ‘Oh ok. I’ll be very quiet,’ said Natalie smiling.

Some time later, Natalie went out to the garage that was set back a little from the house. Once again, her breath was taken away by the beautiful smell of the spring flowers in the garden. She prised open the garage door and was greeted by a musty smell. There was her mother’s old blue corsa. Natalie was on the insurance so it was ok for her to take the car out. She felt the need to escape for a while and had a couple of errands to attend to. As Natalie eased the car out onto the main road, she reminded herself to drive on the left-hand side. About 10 minutes later, Natalie recognised the outskirts of Chaunston town and conveniently found a parking space just outside the bank.

Natalie was looking particularly good. Her long, blond hair shone in the warm, spring sunshine and her cheeks had a rosy complexion. Earlier that morning, she had decided to wear a new cream blouse and navy culottes and sandals and now Natalie felt that her appearance helped to give her an air of confidence. Pushing open the door to the bank, Natalie wondered whether her good friend Chloe would be working. Chloe Roberts was one of Natalie’s closest friends. She was the sister of John (Natalie’s brother-in-law) and the two girls had been at school together and in the same youth group at St Marys’ church. Natalie stepped forward to line up in the fairly busy queue. As she patiently waited, Natalie scoured the desks for Chloe and beamed when she clocked eyes with her. A few minutes later, the two girls were avidly catching up with all their news. Chloe informed Natalie that in 25 minutes it would be her lunch break and could Natalie meet her in the coffee shop around the corner. Natalie had eagerly agreed, waved goodbye to her friend and went on to the newsagent.

Half an hour later, when Natalie was sitting on a brown, squishy sofa with 2 cups of cappuccino in front of her, Chloe strolled into the coffee shop. ‘Hi ya Nat, how are you?’ said Chloe, throwing her arms around her close friend.

‘I’m so pleased that you’ve come to see me. How’s your mum?’ Twenty minutes later the girls had adequately caught up on their news, when Chloe blurted out something new. ‘Does Ben know you’re home?’ Natalie blushed awkwardly. ‘I don’t know, he could do, I suppose. Have you seen anything of him recently?’ Natalie asked, desperate for news. ‘Well… I see him when he comes into the bank obviously and he comes to the occasional service at church with Joseph but other than that, no.’ ‘Oh,’ Natalie said wistfully, ‘so you don’t know if he is seeing anyone then?’ ‘Why Nat, surely you can’t be interested in him after all this time—can you?! Not after what happened!’ Momentarily, Natalie lost eye contact with her friend, let out a gentle sigh and gazed down at her coffee.

Twenty years earlier

Joseph Daniels (a widower) and his son Ben lived at Orchard Farm on the outskirts of Wellsmead. Ben had been a childhood friend of Natalie and Rebecca and the three of them had spent many happy hours playing on the farm. Climbing in and out of the hayloft, feeding the chickens, helping to pick the apples in the orchard and getting in the way when the sheep were being shorn. In fact, Natalie could not recall a time when Ben Daniels had not been in their lives. Rebecca and Ben were closer in age because there was only 3 years between them. Helena always used to insist that Rebecca brought Natalie along whenever they went out to play but Natalie, being two years younger than Rebecca could not always keep up. ‘Oh mum!’ Rebecca used to complain, ‘Natty slows us up. Why do we have to take her?’ Helena always insisted that Natalie should be kept out of mischief. ‘Let her tag along. You will all have fun together,’ and that was that. As a child, Natalie had adored trailing after her older sister and their friend Ben.

Ben had reluctantly agreed to Natalie joining them but when she grew older, he and Rebecca didn’t seem to mind, or didn’t seem to complain so much about her being there. Helena seemed to have a real soft spot for Ben. It was probably due to the fact that his mother had died when he was 3 years old during childbirth. Joseph had grieved terribly and the whole church had rallied around the young widower and his 3 year old son. Ben had no memories of his mother at all. Sometimes this bothered him but at other times he accepted it because there was nothing he could do about it. Obviously, he had seen a great deal of photos of her and these sometimes led him to believe that he could remember the events photographed, but he could never be quite sure.

Ten years earlier

During their teenage years, it was not uncommon for Ben to walk Rebecca and Natalie home from school and then come into the house for some tea. David and Helena sometimes thought that they had a son, as well as two daughters for all the time Ben was around. Helena loved to bustle around, cooking delicious homemade pies and casseroles and Ben was grateful for all the attention. His father Joseph, was a good man but struggled with raising his son and having the day-to-day responsibilities of a large farm. Sometimes after dinner, David and Ben would walk through the meadow to the river to fish while the girls cleared away the dinner things. Ben loved the time spent with David and a strong friendship grew between them. Ben became very close to David, and as such was treated like the son he never had. Therefore, when David tragically died in the car crash, Ben was devastated. He had lost his own dear mother and now a dear surrogate father. Some Sunday afternoons, after the funeral service, Helena would invite Joseph and Ben for dinner. These were joyous occasions with good company and many a time Joseph supplied a lovely lamb joint for the meal. Joseph was grateful for the support that the Myers family gave him and his son and it eased his sorrow tremendously.

As teenagers, the Myers sisters had loved to attend the church youth group. Karen & Simon Jarvis had run it in those days. They were a young, married couple with endless energy and they loved to invite the youth club round to their house in the village. Rebecca, then 16 years old, particularly enjoyed attending the youth group because she was interested in boys and she was actually very popular with the lads there. Natalie, however, who was then 14 had actually fallen in love!! The person of her interest was her old friend, Ben Daniels. He was then 19 years old and too old for youth group but had arranged to visit Karen & Simon’s house at their invitation because there was to be a harvest event at his dad’s farm. As Ben explained the details about the barn dance which was to take place in a real barn with a caller and live band; Natalie hung on to his every word. She had focused on his pleasing complexion, piercing blue eyes and dark-brown cropped hair. Natalie fazed out from Ben talking, as she daydreamed about him. Ben said, ‘Dad hopes that you will all attend with your families and that you will support us by bringing gifts of fruit, vegetables and tinned foods which will be donated to Chaunston Old Peoples’ home.’ A chorus of approval rang out and Natalie found herself offering help to set up the barn. Ben smiled gratefully at Natalie, ‘That’s really kind of you Nat, could you come over in the morning then. There are quite a few hay bales that need to be moved into the barn for seating.’ A couple of other kids volunteered to help also and so a small working party was arranged. After youth club had finished, Rebecca and Natalie started their short walk back to Willow Cottage. ‘Are you looking forward to the barn dance Beccs?’ enquired Natalie. ‘Oh yeah, I really am and I’m hoping that Chloe Roberts’ brother John will be there.’ ‘You really like him, don’t you,’ grinned Natalie. Rebecca just stared at her sister incredulously. ‘I thought so, I saw you staring at him in church last Sunday!’ ‘You caught me,’ blushed Rebecca, ‘He’s soooo good looking—don’t you think?’ ‘Well—yeah, if you like that kind of look. You’re alright though, he’s not my type!’ ‘Nat!! Anyway, you are too young for a boyfriend, remember mum and dad’s rule. No boyfriend until you are at least 16!’ ‘I know!’ shouted Natalie, ‘but there’s no harm looking!’ ‘You’re terrible Nat! Come on, mum will wonder where we are.’

Three weeks later, it was the day of the Harvest Barn dance. Fourteen year old Natalie woke up early, feeling excited and her stomach would not stop churning. A whole day near Ben she thought. Natalie wasn’t sure when these feelings about Ben had started. She had been friends with him for as long as she could remember but now she had a huge crush on him. Sometimes she wondered what it would be like if he were to kiss her.

Natalie pushed back her duvet and swung her feet out of the bed. It was a crisp, bright October morning and she had work to do. She pulled her dressing gown off the hook on her bedroom door and headed downstairs. Not surprisingly, Natalie was the first one up. She put the kettle on and started laying the table for breakfast. An hour later, Natalie was ready. She was dressed in a pink, cotton t-shirt and her favourite denim dungarees and trainers. She had twisted her long hair into a pony tail and applied a little lip gloss. She shouted up the stairs to her mum. ‘I’m off mum, see you later.’ ‘Ok darling. Have fun,’ Helena called back.

When Natalie arrived at the farm she found Joseph in the barn sweeping. ‘Hi ya sweetheart. You’re a good ‘un coming to help us like this,’ Joseph said. ‘Oh, I don’t mind,’ replied Natalie, ‘What do you want me to do first?’ ‘Well actually, I wouldn’t mind a cup of tea, if you wouldn’t mind?’ ‘Of course not, milk no sugar—right?’ Natalie answered. ‘Lovely,’ Joseph replied.

Natalie scampered off to the farmhouse. She prised open the old oak door and stepped lightly through the hall and into the kitchen. Sitting at the table, looking gorgeous with his tousled, just-got-out-bed—hair was Ben. Natalie’s heart started to thump loudly. ‘Oh hi Ben, I didn’t see you there. Are you ok?’ Ben looked up surprised, ‘Nat—good to see you. Gosh you are ready for work,’ he replied, looking down at her dungarees. ‘Your dad wants a cuppa. Can I get you one as well?’ Natalie asked. ‘Actually, I’ve just had one, but go on you’ve persuaded me. I’ll have another,’ Ben smiled warmly. Natalie busied herself boiling the kettle and getting the tea things ready, while Ben studied her.

Ben thought, she really is a pretty, nice girl but was far too young for him. He was closer in age to her sister Rebecca but she seemed interested in the vet’s son, John. Ben hadn’t really had a serious girlfriend. He liked girls and they seemed to like him but there was no-one special. He had been on a few dates with some of the girls at college but it hadn’t really come to anything.

Fifteen minutes later, Ben, Natalie, Joseph and the rest of the volunteers were deep in hay bales. They were passing them, shoving them and putting them in place in the old barn. Everyone seemed excited and there was lots of giggling and fun. Ben had asked Natalie would she like to untangle the box of fairy lights that was sitting on the floor. ‘Sure. I don’t mind,’ she said, helpfully. Natalie had no idea how many lights would be in the big, cardboard box but was shocked when she saw. Oh no, she thought to herself, I’ll be here for ages. It wasn’t long though, until Ben, seeing her struggling, came to her aid. They had fun, catching up and spent a lot of time chuckling as the Christmas lights were really badly tangled up. Eventually they sorted them and started to hang them around the barn. Joseph was setting up trestle tables for the donated harvest food and extra tables for the harvest supper they were going to enjoy later. The women of the church were going to provide food in a bring and share event.

By 3.00pm, everything was done and the young people started to drift off. ‘I must go home and change,’ said Natalie, I’m so grubby. Ben beamed, ‘Me too—look at all the straw in my hair!’ Later at that evening, the barn was rocking, people were arriving and there were delicious smells coming from the tables. The food was well presented and looked gorgeous. Natalie had changed into her best blue jeans and a pretty lilac top. She had retied her blond hair up into a ponytail and she looked very pretty. Rebecca was dressed in black jeans and a favourite, turquoise top. Both girls looked attractive and Helena was very proud of them.

The Barn dance band were called The Harvesters and they were extremely good. Rebecca and Natalie were standing at the table drinking punch with their friend Chloe, when John Roberts (Chloe’s older brother) sauntered over to them. ‘Hey Beccs, would you like to dance the next few with me?’ he asked. The girls giggled. Rebecca blushed but quickly answered, ‘I’d like that very much, thanks John. Girls can you watch my glass for me?!’ as she placed her glass of Cola down on the table. ‘He really likes her, I can tell,’ informed Chloe, knowingly.

Natalie looked enviously at Rebecca and John. They looked so good together. Natalie thought to herself, ‘I bet John is going to ask Rebecca out.’ She wondered when a boy might look interested in her! Of course, Natalie was interested in Ben but as her parents kept telling her, he was too old for her. That didn’t help at all because all other boys looked just like that, silly boys.

David (Natalie’s dad) asked her to dance. Luckily it was a group dance and it involved swapping partners in the middle. To Natalie’s delight, this meant at one stage she had to dance with Ben! Natalie was overcome with excitement but tried very hard to hide it! Ben grinned as he took her into his arms and promenaded around the circle. ‘Dad was really grateful for your help today,’ he said kindly. ‘Oh… that’s ok. I didn’t mind at all!’ smiled Natalie, enthusiastically. Ben and Natalie chatted easily, like old friends during the dance and Natalie was disappointed when the music came to an end. She needn’t have worried though, during the course of the evening, she danced with Ben several more times. By the time the barn dance was finished, Natalie was more in love with Ben than ever!

* * *

Present day

‘Earth to Nat, earth to Nat! Come in Nat. Goodness me, you’ve really been daydreaming!’ remarked Chloe. Natalie made eye-contact with her friend and grinned. ‘I’m sorry Chloe, I really was daydreaming. I was thinking about…’ ‘Ben!’ they both said together and then roared with laughter. ‘Yeah, I was just recalling about the times we spent together as children, teenagers and when I realised I was in love with him,’ replied Natalie. ‘That was at the barn dance, wasn’t it?’ clarified Chloe. ‘That’s right. It was,’ sighed Natalie. ‘Yeah, but when did you actually start dating?’ asked Chloe, trying to recall exactly. ‘When I was 18. He waited until I was 18 years old to ask me out!’ Chloe grinned, ‘Come on Nat, spill the beans!’

Natalie smiled, it was nice to reminisce and talk about something that interested her so much. ‘Yeah it was one evening after the youth group went to the cinema in Taunton. Ben and I had driven them in the church minibus. We had finally dropped the last of the kids home and we just sat in the van and chatted. It was really nice and before I knew it, we were sharing how much our friendship meant to each other. When Ben pulled up outside the cottage, he asked me to go for a drink with him the following night and I agreed.’ ‘How romantic! squealed Chloe, who was beaming broadly, ‘What happened the next night then?’ ‘Well… . it was lovely and so natural and not forced. Ben picked me up and drove me to that little pub in Nether Stowey, called The Wheat Sheaf,’ Natalie continued, ‘we sat and chatted for a couple of hours and, you know, it didn’t feel weird or anything. We talked about when we were kids and playing on the farm with Beccs. We also talked about his mum and how he doesn’t have any memories of her.’ ‘Awh,’ sighed Chloe dreamily. ‘He dropped me home about 10.30pm and as I was getting out of the car… ,’ Natalie paused for effect, ‘he leaned across and kissed me!’ ‘Wow!’ squealed Chloe, once again, ‘Fantastic. How long did you both go out for?’ ‘We went out until I left to go to New York two years ago,’ replied Natalie sadly.

‘What happened to the two of you then, you never did explain properly?’ asked Chloe, leaning forward in her seat. Natalie explained how the job in New York had come up and that Ben had been initially pleased for her, but Ben had been coming on to her quite strong and Natalie had felt that she was too young to be settling down. Ben had accused Natalie about not caring enough for him and then they had a huge row and before she realised what she had done, Natalie had finished with him. Two months later she was on a plane to New York and things between her and Ben had never been the same again. She had seen him once or twice before she left but things had been rather strained. Natalie had felt very hurt but was too proud to apologise to Ben and him to her.

‘So now that you are back for a bit, are you going to call Ben or go round and see him?’ asked Chloe nosily. ‘I dunno, what would you do?’ replied Natalie, needing the advice. The girls were interrupted by Natalie’s mobile phone buzzing. ‘Oh I’ve got a text message,’ said Natalie, who then screamed and dropped the phone on the table. ‘You’ll never guess who it’s from?’ ‘Not Ben?!’ screamed Chloe. ‘Yes!’ replied Natalie, looking rather shell shocked. ‘Well come on then. Tell me what it says?!’ demanded Chloe, impatiently.

Hi Nat. I hear that yr home. Sorry that yr mum is so ill. Wd u like 2 meet me 4 a drink in The Wheat Sheaf 2nite. If so, I’ll meet u there @ 7pm. Ben

‘Wow, that’s so weird hearing from him like that, just after we’ve been talking about him! Are you gonna go?’ asked Chloe. Natalie grinned at her friend, ‘Of course, I’d be mad not to!’

* * *

Two hours later, Natalie was back at the cottage. She had brought Beccs and Helena up to speed with her days events and the mysterious text from Ben. A knowing look had passed between Helena and Beccs and they were pleased that Natalie was going to have a chance to see Ben. Rebecca left at 3.00pm to collect Lucy from pre-school and this gave Natalie and Helena some quality time on their own.

Helena was actually having a better day, health wise and was keen to chat. ‘I’m really pleased that you are seeing Ben tonight,’ she said, ‘you know that your father and I always had a lot of time for him. He’s a good sort. I hope that you can both sort your differences out.’ ‘I hope so too,’ replied Natalie, ‘I like him a great deal and I have changed so much in the two years I’ve been away. I want him to like me again but I’m not sure if he has changed or can forgive me for going.’ ‘Well to my knowledge, he hasn’t seen any girl seriously. Take things slowly. See what he has to say. Remember he did contact you and not the other way round!’ ‘That’s right, he did!’ Natalie beamed, ‘and I’m so pleased that he did!’

Natalie decided that a pampering bath was in order. She wanted to look her best for Ben that evening. As she relaxed in the hot bubbles, she mentally went over her wardrobe and decided what to wear. In the end, she went for her black linen trousers and her violet vest top and matching bead cardigan. She sprayed on her favourite scent and went into Helena’s room to gauge her reaction. ‘Oh wow darling, you look gorgeous. He won’t be able to take his eyes off you. Remember what I said earlier. Listen to what Ben has to say, you may be surprised,’ stated Helena, with an all knowing look on her face. ‘I will. By the way Sue is here. See you in the morning Mum. Night.’ Natalie kissed her mum lightly on the cheek and went downstairs to let Sue in. Natalie walked through the garden to the garage to get the corsa out and backed out into the lane. Fifteen minutes later, she pulled into the drive leading to The Wheat Sheaf pub car park. How interesting that he has chosen the place where we first went out, thought Natalie wisely.

Natalie parked at the back of the pub and walked around to the front entrance. Her heart was thumping and she began to feel a little sick with nerves. She cautiously pushed open the door and strode nervously into the bar. Seeing him again made her catch her breath. There he was, sitting at a corner table looking more gorgeous than ever. He glanced up, saw her looking at him, smiled warmly and beckoned her over. Ben then stood up and kissed her gently on the cheek. He smelt divine and Natalie suddenly felt quite heady.

‘What can I get you to drink?’ he asked, smiling as he stared hard at her. ‘Just a coke please, I’m driving,’ she replied. ‘Ok I’ll be back in a min,’ he said and he was off to the bar. Natalie studied him as he walked away. He was taller than she remembered and ruggedly handsome with clear, smooth skin. He had sparkly, blue eyes and was tanned from working so much outdoors on the farm. He was wearing dark navy jeans and a cream and black t-shirt and had very muscly arms, probably from all the manual farm labour and Natalie imagined being held by him. Before she knew it, he was suddenly standing back next to her, her drink in his hand and Natalie felt quite embarrassed by her thoughts.

‘I’m really pleased you agreed to see me,’ said Ben passing her the coke and sitting opposite her, ‘I heard from Pastor Mark that you were returning but I’m desperately sorry about Helena’s condition.’ ‘Yeah I know, thank you,’ replied Natalie thoughtfully. ‘She’s not too well at the moment and I don’t want to think about losing another parent just yet.’ Suddenly, their conversation felt stilted and they both seemed stuck for things to say. Natalie broke the silence by asking about Ben’s dad. ‘How is Joseph and the farm?’ Relieved that the conversation had moved on, Ben answered her. ‘The farm’s doing well actually. I mostly run the place now and Dad assists me but he still does his fair share. I want him to wind down and have more time for himself. He deserves it.’ Natalie nodded, thoughtfully, ‘Yeah he does. I agree.’

Ben went on to ask Natalie about her job in New York and they also discussed people they knew, together with events in the village and at the church. Natalie desperately wanted Ben to talk about their relationship but she didn’t have the nerve to question him about it. Ben started talking about the farm and about a herd of new sheep that were arriving soon. As Natalie listened, her mind wandered. I wonder if he is going to want to start seeing me again, when will he ask me, corr he’s so gorgeous, I fancy him like crazy. Suddenly, she was brought up short when Ben mentioned Millie. ‘Millie, who’s Millie?’ asked Natalie, feeling puzzled, thinking she must have missed a great deal of the conversation. ‘Millie. My girlfriend, I thought you knew about her,’ said Ben, suddenly looking embarrassed. ‘We met a couple of months ago back at one of the cattle shows in Thrapston.’ Natalie’s face suddenly fell and she felt mortified. How could Ben possibly have a girlfriend. This wasn’t right at all. He was supposed to be with her. She could feel a flush rising up her neck and face and decided that she needed to get out of the pub immediately. I can’t breathe, I’m suffocating, she thought to herself. ‘I’m sorry Ben but I’ve just remembered, I’m supposed to be meeting Chloe back at the cottage. You’ll have to excuse me. Thanks for the drink. See you. Bye.’ She got up before he had even a chance to say anything and shot out of the pub door. Ben was left staring after her and wondered what on earth was going on.

When Natalie reached her car, she flung herself into the driving seat and hung her head. The tears, hot and salty, came quickly. She was distraught. After about 5 minutes she managed to control herself enough to drive home. On the fifteen minute drive back, Natalie constantly had to dab her eyes with a tissue to enable her to see through the windscreen. She managed to park the car in front of the garage and walked across the crunchy path to the front door. ‘He has a girlfriend, a girlfriend, why didn’t I know? How stupid I am?’ she sighed and pushed open the door. Sue was in the kitchen making a cup of tea. She looked up startled. ‘Hello Natalie, we weren’t expecting you this early, were we?’ ‘No,’ said Natalie and promptly burst into tears again. Before Sue could ask her anything more, Natalie fled from the kitchen, rushed upstairs to her room and slammed the door.

After a fitful night, Natalie arose early at 6.00am. She tiptoed downstairs into the kitchen and switched on the kettle. Natalie sat at the table, with her head in her hands and started to relive the previous evening’s conversation with Ben. After making her tea, she padded back upstairs and ran herself a bath. Once she was dressed, in jeans, t-shirt, jacket and trainers she let herself out of the house and into the meadow behind. Although it was