Humor--Jamaican Style: Dis, Dat, and the Other
()
About this ebook
Ashton Lascelles Walters
Ashton Lascelles Walters comes from a long line of writers. His father Edwin Walters prided himself in submitting a “Letter to the Editor” every Sunday religiously in The Sunday Gleaner, the “national” newspaper in Jamaica, W.I. Lascelles was also a featured letter writer of The Gleaner. His daughter Beverley vividly remembers him submitting even letters that she had written to The Gleaner. Lascelles migrated from Jamaica, W.I. in 2005 and currently lives in the Bronx where he spends his time writing his anecdotes and his autobiography, which he hopes to release shortly.
Related to Humor--Jamaican Style
Related ebooks
My Father's Son Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Funniest Cop Stories Ever Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I Love You More Than You Know: Essays Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Some Other Traveller Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsChocolate For Lilly Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Old One Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Fibber's Club: Remembrances of Boys Growing up in the Thirties Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSurvival is a Dying Art: Angus Green, #3 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Don't Call Me a Cab! Call Me a Therapist! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Lone Star Christmas Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5San Francisco, Open Your Golden Gate!: Memoir Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRiders on the Storm Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Escape to You Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Monrovia House Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Treasure Chest of Humor Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSoul of the Hurricane: The Perfect Storm and an Accidental Sailor Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Finding Faith Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Deadly Deception Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTrue to Himself; Or, Roger Strong's Struggle for Place Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBehind the Eight Ball Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsChocolate, Please: My Adventures in Food, Fat, and Freaks Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Under the Palm Tree: A Journey from Childhood to Retirement Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHood Legends: This Thing We Started Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How I Survived My Summer Vacation Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAlways Remember Us Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPaddle Hard (Dangerous Days Series Part 2) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAnnie Hansen Mysteries Collection: The Complete Series Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLive Free and Eat Pie: A Storyteller's Guide to New Hampshire Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Milk-Blood: A Father's Choice, the Family's Price Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBy The Side Of The Road Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
General Fiction For You
The Priory of the Orange Tree Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anonymous Sex Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5The Alchemist: A Graphic Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5It Ends with Us: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Rebecca Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Fellowship Of The Ring: Being the First Part of The Lord of the Rings Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5We Have Always Lived in the Castle Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The King James Version of the Bible Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mythos Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Babel: Or the Necessity of Violence: An Arcane History of the Oxford Translators' Revolution Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Sister's Keeper: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Nettle & Bone Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Unhoneymooners Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Outsider: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Ocean at the End of the Lane: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Life of Pi: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Beyond Good and Evil Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Cloud Cuckoo Land: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Covenant of Water (Oprah's Book Club) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Canterbury Tales Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Beartown: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Silmarillion Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5You: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The City of Dreaming Books Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Candy House: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Other Black Girl: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dante's Divine Comedy: Inferno Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Dry: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for Humor--Jamaican Style
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Humor--Jamaican Style - Ashton Lascelles Walters
Humor—
Jamaican Style
Dis, Dat, and the Other
Ashton Lascelles Walters
Order this book online at www.trafford.com
or email orders@trafford.com
Most Trafford titles are also available at major online book retailers.
© Copyright 2012 Ashton Lascelles Walters.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.
ISBN: 978-1-4669-1653-1 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4669-1655-5 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-4669-1654-8 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2012905126
Trafford rev. 04/16/2012
7-Copyright-Trafford_Logo.aiwww.trafford.com
North America & international
toll-free: 1 888 232 4444 (USA & Canada)
phone: 250 383 6864 fax: 812 355 4082
Contents
Foreword
How I Got My Name
Introduction
PartI: Strange Happenings
Judge Brandon and the Mule Man
The Identical Twins
The Teacher and the Preacher
Mr. Giles Was a Coward
He Was Too Curious
John Stupid, the Driver
The Students
Turn Him Around
The Warboat Woman From South St. Andrew
He Went to Jail for Stealing His Own Goat
Mr. Forgetful
From a Hogg to a Roach
Miss Gloria’s Brilliant Grandson
Mrs. Johnson’s First Motor Car
John Hohn and the Watchman
Miss Gravely and the Coolie Duppy
The Man Who Tried To Hang Himself
Mr. Fowler and the Workman
PartII: Ungrateful people
The Boy and the Ocean
PartIII: No license to drink
John Homer Could Not Find His Home/
The Evil of John Crow Batty
PartIV: Swindlers
Mr. Thomas Bought a Blind-Eye Horse From Mr. Jones
The Coolie Man Stole His Neighbor’s Ram Goat
The Two Salesmen
Miss Solow, the Money Lender
The Christmas Ham
Goodgame Played a Bad Game
The Deacon Robbed the Collection Plate
PartV: Personal Matters
My Wife and the Lodge Sister
My Cousin Vee Thomas Was Satan Sister
My First Use of the Telephone
PartVI: Love & Hate
Brother Johnson and His Outside Woman
She Was a Flirt
He Wants To Marry An Ugly Woman
PartVII: Conniving Artists
The Banker Was a Bigamist
Afterword
This book is dedicated to all my children.
The number currently stands at seven, though it was 8 until 9 years ago. All my children also include my 24 grandchildren, my 22 great grandchildren and my 2 great, great grandchildren—and these are only the ones that I’m aware of. I have been told that there are others. I’m truly blessed.
Foreword
I’m ashamed of myself—the most important writing project of my life so far—and here I’m putting it on the backburner for so long to pursue work and other menial events that I’ve been pursuing for a lifetime and getting nowhere with.
How could I deprive the world so long of this genius of a man who for the past couple of years has labored night and day—one keystroke at a time—to produce this marvelous piece of work.
As a child, I loved and deeply admired my father. Now, as a grown woman I cherish and admire him even more—his humor, which I grew up on—his quick wit, which he uses like a razor, sometimes close to drawing blood—his generosity of spirit, the refusal of much of which I apologize profusely to him.
But, let me stop and allow you into the mind and spirit of Lascelles (Last Hell) Walters.
How I Got My Name
The greatest gift from God to man is life and from that life that is given, man starts a journey which must have a story of its own—some will be good, some will be will be bad, and some will be ugly.
For what it’s worth—this is the story of my journey, as best as I can remember.
It was on a Wednesday evening, May 10, 1922, when I was told Miss Mae gave birth to a child; he was