Rainbows and Rattlesnakes: Third in the Prairie Preacher Series

1-

Ginger swung her feet above the floor while sitting on the hard wooden pew. Her feet didn’t scrape on the floor because she was short enough to miss it, but the swinging did rock the pew a little. She saw her Mom give her a look out of the corner of her eye. She knew she had better quit or she’d be in trouble.

She tried to find something to keep her interest. As far as Ginger was concerned, church services fell into only a few categories. Funerals were the ones where everybody cried and had lunch down in the church hall afterward. Weddings were the ones where everyone was happy and then there was dance. Then there was the regular church, where everyone was normal, but there was no food or a party afterward.

Being a minister’s daughter, she had to go to almost all of them. The only ones that she really liked were the special ones, like Christmas and Easter. The rest were just a nuisance. They required that she had to get dressed up and sit still, which were two things that she really did not like.

Katie did not mind it all; in fact, she actually seemed to like it. Katie was her big sister and seemed to love all that girlie stuff. Good grief, she even liked school! Ginger studied the blonde blue-eyed girl and tried to imagine what she could be thinking. There must be something terribly wrong with her head. How could anyone enjoy sitting here in these crazy dresses?

They both had dark blue velvet dresses with large white stiff collars. The dresses had long puffy sleeves and white stiff cuffs with fussy little buttons on them. They even had dark blue bows in their hair. Ginger wanted to let her hair just fall however it wanted, but Mom had insisted that she had it pulled back in a bow and then curled into long curls that hung down her back. Ginger didn’t care if the curls were there or not; but if they were there, it meant she had to sit still so they wouldn’t get messed up! She hated that.

Mom always told her to look a book, but she didn’t like that either. Mom tried to read Little Women to her but she couldn’t stand that. Then she asked her Dad if he had something she would like. He found a book that he thought she might try. It was Little Britches by Ralph Moody. That was more to her liking. They rode horses and were outside doing fun stuff in those stories, but she couldn’t read well enough yet to read it by herself. After that, whenever she had to sit and stay clean, Mom would just hand her a coloring book. She wished she had been able to bring the book to church with her. But Dad said it wasn’t a good idea, which meant ‘absolutely not’ in Dad talk.

It seemed as if most people liked to listen to her Dad’s sermons. At every service, he would get up front and talk away. Folks would sit, nod in agreement and smile. After church, they would shake his hand and say how much they enjoyed listening to him. She thought it was rather silly. They probably wouldn’t like it so much either if they heard him talk all the time.

One time after she had been extremely fidgety, Dad asked her why she couldn’t sit still during church. She explained to him that it wasn’t as bad for him as for her. He got to wander around in the front and talk. She didn’t. She told him if he had to sit still and watch her talk, he would get tired of it, too. He just smiled and gave her a hug. I just might at that.

Even though he agreed with her, she still had to go to church. Worse yet, she had to sit in a stupid dress next to her sister. She was pretty sure that Katie had to have something terribly wrong with her. She must have a sickness of some kind so she could sit still for so long. But Katie would never let on to anyone that she was sick and even smiled as if she enjoyed being there! She must be very brave. Ginger could never be that brave and she certainly hoped that she would never catch that disease. Apparently, it was a bad one.

And those tights! Whoever had the dumb idea to make a person have to put their legs into something like that? Not to mention, how much they itched. Big socks would be better, but Mom said they would not fit into her Sunday shoes. To Ginger, that was a plus. She hated those stupid shoes as much as the tights. They were dainty, shiny, pretty and so doggone slippery, she could hardly stand up. There was no way that she could go outside in them without boots and they seemed to collect dust like a magnet. The patent leather scuffed up something fierce. Mom always had to rub Vaseline on them to get the scuffs out. Then she would say, ‘Ginger, you are so hard on your shoes, you should just wear work boots.’ Ginger thought that was a good idea, but Mom never really let her wear them.

She had figured out that the one thing those silly shoes were good for was running and sliding on carpet. She could slide almost across the room! It was nearly as much fun as skating. However, her big brother, Kenny saw her doing it. First he laughed, but then he got serious. I know it seems like a lot of fun Ginger, but you better not do it in the church hall.

How about the aisle to the church? Ginger suggested. It is long and straight. I could really get a run for it and slide like crazy!

Ken just made a funny face and said, Only if you want to get sent to your room for a month! Dad and Mom would both be real mad. You could get hurt.

I promise I won’t get hurt, Ginger folded her arms and pouted.

I know you don’t think so, but it could happen. And even if you didn’t get hurt, you could break something in the church. You know, Dad says this is not a playground. It is God’s house.

I am pretty sure God wouldn’t mind if I played in here, Ginger argued.

Well, maybe He wouldn’t. Do you want me to call Mom or Dad? Ken threatened. Then you can tell them that God doesn’t care if you wreck His house.

Ginger thought a minute. It didn’t sound nearly as good the way he said it. She was pretty certain she was getting tricked but decided that she would have to figure out how to explain it to her parents before Kenny told them. Reluctantly, she gave in, Okay, Kenny. I will quit for now but only until I can figure out what to tell them.

Okay, Kenny said, Is it a deal?

Yah, they shook hands.

I won’t mention it then, Kenny said. But I had better not catch you doing it again.

She watched her big brother as he left the room. She worried that maybe he had caught Katie’s disease. Since Kenny was sixteen almost seventeen, maybe he had it too. But when she thought about it, she decided that Katie had it worse than Ken and she was only fourteen. Maybe girls get it worse than boys. She was just going to be careful to not be around either of them too much. Neither of them seemed to do a lot of fun stuff. She didn’t want to catch it for sure.

The other problem with church was her little brother, Charlie. Mom never let them sit together. Mom said she would rather be dipped in hot lard. Ginger always wondered why someone want to be dipped in hot lard!

Charlie was going to turn six and about a year younger than her. Everyone thought he was like Dad, but Ginger knew he wasn’t. Charlie loved to bug her until she whacked him. Then she would get into trouble. When no one was looking, he would grin at her. That would just make her want to whack him all the more.

Mostly they got along, though. He was the only one in the family who didn’t have Katie’s disease and he had some pretty good ideas, too. When they got ideas, they both would work on them together. Charlie never thought something was too dangerous or messy! He was a really great digger! They dug a lot last summer, really deep holes. They dug holes all over the yard. Then they moved into the cemetery, digging around the edge. It was hard digging around the edge, because the dirt was hard next to the fence.

Then there had been a funeral and the dirt in the grave spot was really easy to dig. A couple days after the funeral, she and Charlie decided to dig there to see what they could find. The dirt was very loose and they were digging very fast.

Charlie had seen Dad come out of the back door of the church and took off running like he saw the Devil. Her Dad caught her while it was still only a small hole. Ginger had no idea that her Dad could scream like that. She figured she might have been killed that day if Uncle Elton hadn’t stopped over to see her Dad. He got out of the car about then and started to laugh. He laughed so hard that Dad had to stop yelling.

Uncle Elton was the only one who thought it was funny, though. She saw her Dad give him a dirty look, but Uncle Elton was still grinning. He gave her a hug and called her, His little gopher.

Uncle Elton made a deal with her. If she would quit digging in the cemetery, he would buy her the next book in the Little Britches series. That was a good deal and they shook on it. At least, someone understood that it was a good thing to dig holes. After all, how would you ever know what was in the ground, if you didn’t move the dirt to see?

It turned out to be easy to keep the bargain because Dad put a halt to cemetery digging. He gave them a tiny area by the garden and they were only allowed to dig there. That wasn’t nearly as much fun. Soon, she and Charlie gave up digging. A month later, she got the next book in the series from Uncle Elton. Then it started to get to get too cold and the ground froze, so she wasn’t tempted anymore.

Anyway, this church service was getting boring. It had been kind of interesting when the folks walked in with the casket. She saw Pepper, Uncle Elton’s daughter, walking beside her boyfriend Chris and some other people behind the casket. She liked Pepper. She was always nice and talked to her. Pepper was not like some grownups who just ignore little kids. But before long, they all sat down and she couldn’t see them anymore.

Then one of the ladies from the church started to sing. She sang so squeaky that it made Ginger’s ears tingle and her back shiver. She put her fingers in her ears under her hat but Mom grabbed her hands and put them in her lap. Mom gave her that look that she had whenever she said she was ‘mortified’. Ginger never really knew what mortified was; except that if Mom had it, she usually got in trouble.

So Ginger sat there while the lady screeched and yelled through the song. No one should be allowed to make that kind of noise. No wonder everybody cried. She thought it was just plain silly that no one would tell her to sit down and be quiet.

Then Dad started talking. She had heard what he was going to say anyway, when he read it out loud in his office that morning. She and Charlie were hiding in the dark storage closet in the den. They had been trying to find some glue when Dad came in to work on the sermon. They knew they weren’t supposed to go in there, so they had to sit there until he got finished. They did not dare move a muscle. They were so relieved when Mom called Dad for a cup of coffee and he left the room. They decided that trying to borrow glue from the office was not a good idea. Why, a person could get stuck in there for hours!

The head band of her hat was making her head hurt. She tried to gently scratch it. The little scratch helped a little bit, so a bigger scratch should help a lot more. She gave it a big scratch. Accidentally, she knocked the hat off her head and it landed on the floor. Mom gave her another look like ‘just wait ‘til we get home,’ picked up the hat and handed it to her. Ginger put it on her head but accidentally put it on backwards.

Mom looked at her, then up to the ceiling and shook her head. Ginger tried to turn it around without taking it off and in the process pulled the bow loose that was holding her hair back. Frantically, she twisted it back and she could feel her hair come loose and hang over her eyes. She quickly pulled the hat way down on her head to try to keep the rest of her hair under it, but still had it on backwards. The dumb ribbon that was supposed to hang down her back was dangling on her nose.

Mom had looked away by then, trying to help Charlie tie his shoe. So, Ginger thought maybe if she pretended like it was supposed to be that way, no one would notice her hat was on backwards.

The ribbon on the back of that hat must have been made out of something fuzzy. It hung there for a minute and then started to tickle her nose. She figured if she could blow it away, it wouldn’t bother her nose. So that is what she did. She huffed and puffed to keep the ribbon blowing away from her face.

From the pulpit, Dad happened to glance in her direction as she was blowing the ribbon away. She couldn’t tell what he look was on his face before he coughed. Then cleared his throat and said Excuse me, to the congregation before he continued. He did not look in her direction again.

Kenny apparently had seen what happened and reached across Katie, who was sitting like an angel with her disease and all, and grabbed her hat. He frowned at her and then held her hat all through the rest of the service.

Well, at least it felt better to have her hair loose and be rid of that monster hat and that stupid ribbon, even if Kenny wasn’t happy about it. She sat a few more minutes and then her legs started to itch. She started scratching and then Katie seized her hand and opened her eyes really big with a look that only the Devil could give.

Ginger sat still the rest of the service, sitting there with her arms folded in a slight pout. She couldn’t pout too much, because she remembered the trouble she got into one time for doing that. She wasn’t allowed to play outside for a whole week. Mom and Dad said if she ever did that again, the next time it would be two weeks! She couldn’t face those prospects.

She was so glad when the service was over and she finally got to stand up. They put on their coats and all went out to the cemetery. They stood quietly and watched as Chris’s brother was buried. She felt bad that Chris was crying and seemed so sad about his brother and all, but he probably didn’t like to hear that neighbor lady sing either.

She looked around the cemetery. She saw the places over by the fence where she and Charlie had dug the holes before Dad put the kibosh on the project. Too bad, she thought, it was still a good idea they had. Every good cemetery needed a moat around it. Someday, the grownups would understand that.

She wanted to stay outside and help the men cover the grave with their shovels, but of course, Mom said no. By the way Mom gripped her hand, she figured it wasn’t a good time to try to convince her otherwise.

Mom asked Kenny and Katie to keep an eye on Charlie, whom she wasn’t very happy with either. She said she would meet up with them in the church hall downstairs. Ginger wasn’t certain what that meant and she followed along with her Mom who was still holding her hand in a death clench. She was walking pretty fast and Ginger had to hurry to keep up. She did figure that whatever was going to happen, it wasn’t going to be good.

2-

They went into the church and Mom pulled her along to where Dad was changing into his suit. Mom knocked at the door and Dad told her to come on in. They stepped in the room and Dad looked down at Ginger and shook his head, I have to say, I am not surprised to see you here.

Mom started to open her mouth to say something, but then just put her head on Dad’s shoulder and started to cry. Dad put his arms around her, patted her on the back and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Ginger didn’t think that was very fair. After all, she was the one that was going to be in trouble, why was he feeling sorry for her?

Mom looked at him, her voice trembling and started on one of her long, long sentences. Byron, I thought I could be a Mom but I can’t do— they are making me crazy, untying their shoes and hats, putting their fingers in their ears like they have no manners— how can they, I mean I am at my wit’s end and I never, we never, I mean, they should know better, shouldn’t they by now or will they ever—

Dad just gave her a kiss. Stop rambling, Honey. I love you, Marly. You are a good Mom. You do a good job. What do you need me to do for you? I don’t know what got into them today. Where is Charlie?

I left him with the other kids, he took his whole shoelace out—sure it broke, but he didn’t have to take it all out! While I was putting it back in, Ginger was dismantling her hat. Good grief, you would think they were three years old.

Dad smiled understandingly, How about I take Ginger under my wing this afternoon and you deal with Charlie? Would that help?

I would just as soon go sit by all by myself in the corner somewhere! But I will let you deal with Ginger. Are you sure you have time? You have to talk to Holloways and I don’t want to interfere. They are trying to deal with the death of their son and here are the preacher’s kids acting like a couple of hellions. Putting her fingers in her ears when Mrs. Meyers was singing and then dismantling her hat! What is with her?

Don’t worry, we’ll be okay. She can sit quietly by herself like a big girl, if I need to talk to them alone. Won’t you, Ginger? Dad asked in his ‘this is an order’ tone.

Yes sir, Ginger nodded and sat down on the chair next to the door.

There see, Honey, Dad said to his wife, We’ll be just fine.

I bet you think I am worthless, Mom started to tear up again.

Not at all, Dad assured her. Honestly, I just about choked to death when I looked over and saw her blowing that ribbon off her nose! And I didn’t know that Charlie was taking his shoes off! I would have had a conniption fit! I think you held up very well, considering. I think you do a fantastic job.

I don’t know how my Mom handled nine of us kids, Mom finally smiled. I thank God every day that these last two weren’t twins!

Mom wiped her tears and then looked at Ginger. Please, I’m at the end of my rope. Promise me, you will be good for your Dad.

Ginger answered quietly and uncertainly, Yes ma’am. I promise, Mommy.

The door closed and Dad combed his hair without saying a word. Ginger sat there wondering how many weeks she wouldn’t be able to go outside or if she would just get a spanking. She sure hoped it didn’t mess up her getting her horse for her birthday. She was going to be seven then, and Dad had said that she might get a horse. Uncle Elton said it could stay at his place because there wasn’t any room on the church property. Yah, a spanking would be much better than any of that. She just had to get that horse.

When Dad got finished with his hair, he crouched by her chair so he was eye to eye with her. He looked at her with his soft, blue eyes and gave her a serious look.

Okay, what is your side of this story?

Dunno, Ginger shrugged.

Well, you must have some idea. Were you simply trying to drive your Mom crazy? Just start at the beginning and tell me what happened.

It kind of just happened, Ginger started to cry. I didn’t mean for any of it to happen. I was just bored. I couldn’t see Pepper or Chris or anybody I knew after everyone sat down. I tried to pay attention until my body just started to itch. I itched all over.

Like a rash? Dad had a flash of concern.

No, like nothing fit right. Just feel these cuffs and this collar! They are like they are made out of a cardboard box! They are all scratchy!

Dad felt the collar and thought a minute, Yes, you are right. They are almost as stiff as my clerical collar. Sometimes they do itch. I know it can be hard, honey, but sometimes we have to try to be still anyway.

Yah, but your collar isn’t as big as mine, Ginger pointed out.

Maybe not, Dad said, But my collar is stiffer and it sticks straight up. Here, feel it.

Ginger felt it and was amazed, Yup, it really is stiffer than mine. Okay, I will try to not complain anymore.

Dad tilted his head, But Ginger, the collar still doesn’t explain about the hat.

The little freckled-faced girl looked at her Dad and began to explain, Well, it is Mrs. Meyer’s fault.

Dad raised his eyebrows and looked surprised, Mrs. Meyers! How’s that?

Well, she stood up by the piano, started to screech and it hurt my ears. I can’t listen to her yelling! It is just horrible. So I just put my fingers in my ears so I wouldn’t go deaf.

Dad stifled a chuckled, I don’t think that you would have gone deaf.

It is just nuts, Dad. If I made a noise like that, you would tell me to sit down and be quiet. Why do you let her stand up there and holler?

Mrs. Meyers is a soprano. You just don’t like sopranos, but some people really love their voices. The Holloways wanted her to sing for their son’s funeral. I wouldn’t want to tell them no about something like that. It was their choice and we just need to respect that. We certainly don’t need to be hurting Mrs. Meyer’s feelings. She was just doing it because they asked her. It would be very sad if she saw you put your fingers in your ears like that. It would hurt her feelings. She can’t help being a soprano any more than you can help not being one.

Daddy, if I was one, I know that I wouldn’t ever, ever sing. It would make my own head hurt!

Dad shook his head, Well, that is good to know. But you have to be nice to other people and you don’t want to embarrass Mrs. Meyers or the Holloways. Please don’t do that again. It is unkind.

I guess, Ginger answered reluctantly.

Ginger? Did you hear me?

Yah. I won’t do it again, promise. No matter how bad they sound. Can I think about how bad they sound?

Only if you don’t let your face show what you are thinking, he raised his eyebrows with a warning, I know you. You can’t cross your eyes or things like that! Now, how did that make your hat fall off?

Well, my head band started itching when I put my fingers in my ears. So I was just going to scratch it a little. And it felt pretty good, so I scratched it some more. Then my ribbon came out and my hair fell down into my eyes. So I went to jam it back up under my hat and my hat fell off.

Dad just sat there shaking his head.

Then Mom handed it back to me real crabby-like before she helped Charlie with his shoelace. I was in a hurry and accidentally put it on backwards.

So, why didn’t you just take it off and turn it around?

Well, I thought it would be easier to twist it on my head. But it didn’t twist very good. It got kind of tangled in my hair and pretty soon it was all messed up. I thought I had better just stop where it was. I thought if I quit twisting it, no one would notice and maybe everyone would think it was supposed to be that way.

Ginger, I really doubt that anyone would have thought it was supposed to be that way!"

Well, I thought maybe. The stupid ribbon hung on my nose, so I thought I could just blow it away. That’s when Kenny grabbed it away from me. So then I just sat there with nothing to do until my tights started to itch. I only scratched them a little bit, when Katie squeezed my hands like she worked for the Devil.

By now, Dad had his hands on his head like he was really sick. He sat a minute.

Okay, we have established you don’t like soprano singers or hats, but now what is wrong with tights?

Dad, Ginger got very serious like she was explaining the origins of the universe, Have you ever worn them? Do you have any idea what they are like?

Dad’s eyes were real big and he smiled, No, can’t say that I have.

They are horrible! They are tight and they squish all your skin together! When you sit down or move, they come down off your butt because they are too tight. Then when you want to yank them up, you can’t because it isn’t ladylike. If you don’t pull them up, they will slip down over your butt and wrinkle over your legs! Why can’t I just wear socks like real people?

By now, Dad was trying to keep from laughing. I never had any idea they were so awful. Let me talk to Mom and we will see if we can work something out, okay?

Ginger nodded, Okay.

But Ginger, you have to behave better. You can’t go to church, twitching and fidgeting all through the service. You disturb everyone else around you. I know you kids have to go to church a lot more than some kids, but Uncle Elton’s kids come every Sunday. They don’t do that.

Oh, Dad, Ginger pointed out, They are old. Old people can sit better than kids. Everyone knows that.

Maybe, but when they were little, they sat still, Dad was serious. Sorry, that excuse won’t work with me. You only have to go to church once on Sunday morning. You don’t have to go to both services. So I think you could behave that long. A lot of other kids your age do every week. When you are grown up, it is up to you if you want to go. However, I am sorry but for now, there is no choice. You have to do what Mom and I say. That is just the way it goes.

Yes, sir, Ginger pouted and started to cross her arms in defiance.

Oh no, you don’t, Dad said as he uncrossed her arms. No pouting. No crossing your arms. Just be a good girl I know you can be.

Now Ginger was shocked, What? You know I am never a good girl.

Oh, yes you are, Dad said, And kind and thoughtful. You just have ants in your pants. So, let’s try to get rid of the ants.

Okay, I will try Daddy.

That’s about all I can ask, Dad gave her a hug. Now, let’s go downstairs. I am certain that folks will be looking for us. You can leave your hat here and let your hair go without the ribbon. I kind of like it that way. It is very pretty with those dark red curls. Just keep it out of your eyes and your face, or you will have to put it back. Okay?

Okay, Dad. What about the tights? Ginger was getting hopeful.

Sorry Kid, can’t do anything about that right now. Maybe they are too tight. Maybe you outgrew them.

No, they are supposed to be tight or else they wrinkle all over your legs.

Dad shrugged, Well, then pull them up where they belong before we leave here. When Mom and I get a chance, we will find something else for you to wear. Deal?

Ginger nodded in agreement and yanked up her tights and wiggled her butt into them. Dad just shook his head while he watched her and chuckled.

Okay, ready now? When we get downstairs, you be certain to tell the Holloway family that you are sorry about their son and shake their hand. That is the polite thing to do. Promise?

Yah, I promise. Ginger put her hat on the chair and gave her Dad the biggest hug she could. Then she took his hand. She decided she would do the best she could to keep her promise.

On the way down the steps to the church hall, Ginger thought about everything her Dad had said. She was pleased that she didn’t have to wear the hat and maybe he and Mom could figure out a way to throw those stupid tights. She would try to remember what he had said and what she had promised. Dad didn’t say anything about taking her horse away or making her stay in the house. Best of all, he said he thought she was a good kid. She kind of liked that.

3-

At the bottom of the stairs, they entered the large church hall. The church ladies had made coffee and punch for everyone. There were some cookies and bars. People were putting them on their little plates and sitting down at the many long tables. Then they would sit around, look sad and eat cookies. Ginger looked around the room. She spied Pepper and Chris who were talking to a bunch of people that had walked into the church with them. Some of them were crying. Ginger rolled her eyes. Her Dad really shouldn’t have let that Mrs. Meyers sing, even if she was a soprano.

Then she saw Uncle Darrell. He was her Mom’s youngest brother and Ginger’s favorite person in the whole wide world. Even though he was a grown up, he would let her hang out with him and sometimes help milk his goats. When she grew up, she was going to have a farm and milk goats, too. He was so cool. She could tell him anything and he mostly understood.

He and his girlfriend, Jeannie, were visiting with some folks. Jeannie was a nice girl with brown hair and a big, big smile. She taught school in Merton, but not Ginger’s class. She always gave her a wink whenever she saw her at school, but never made a big deal that they knew each other. She never ever pinched Ginger’s cheeks, ever! She and Darrell had been friends forever. Away from school, Jeannie didn’t seem to mind if Ginger hung around Darrell and would even ask her to come along with them. Jeannie always had time to talk to her.

Andy, Pepper’s brother, was Darrell’s best friend. He was in the Army now. She had wanted to be in the Army too, but couldn’t figure out how she could milk her goats if she was busy being a soldier and flying helicopters. She would have to think about that. The best thing about Andy was his new girlfriend, Annie. Annie was an Indian girl! A real, live Indian! Ginger had always wanted to be an Indian. Annie was beautiful and had long dark, dark brown hair. That was a lot better than her stupid red hair!

Her own hair was the same color as Wilson’s Irish Setter dog! Who ever heard of having hair that color? Dad always said it was gorgeous, but she thought he was just making that up to be nice. After all, he was a minister and they said stuff to be nice all the time. But if he did like it, she was very happy that he did. Dad and Charlie had light brown hair and Mom and Katie had blonde hair. Kenny had dark brown hair. Only she had this red stuff. Scheeesh!

Ginger thought she could be an Indian, ride horses and milk goats, but then maybe not get to fly helicopters. Annie told her that most Indians did not milk goats. Ginger thought she should know, being one and all. But the most disappointing thing that Annie said was that Indians went to school and studied hard. Now, just why would an Indian have to go to school? She went to school and they never showed her how to use a bow and arrow or ride a horse! She was pretty certain that Annie had made a mistake about that.

But she liked Annie, even if she was mistaken about school. Annie had promised to help her with her horse when she got it. She would get it, if only she could be good for another month or so. She just couldn’t wait, but it was getting harder and harder. She had mostly been good since Christmas and was wearing out! That seemed like a long time. Her birthday was right before Easter! Good grief.

She had thought about when she got her horse a lot; in fact, all the time. When she got her horse, she would ride over to Darrell’s farm every day and help him milk his goats. Maybe he would even let her get a goat of her own. Then she would ride over to her helicopter before she went to school. She would only go to school when she wasn’t too busy flying the helicopter and being a soldier. It would be great and she wouldn’t have to sit still.

While she was thinking about all these things, different people had come up to her Dad and were telling him how much they liked the sermon and shaking his hand. She didn’t think that they would have liked it near as much if they had to sit still in a dark closet and listen to it with their little brother!

Dad would say thank you. Then they would pat her on the head and say, Isn’t she as cute as a bug’s ear?, Just look at that red hair! or Where did you get all those freckles? Some of them would pinch her cheeks when they said it, or say something about her dimples.

She decided to ask Dad how old you had to be before grownups quit pinching your cheeks! Why did grownups do that? She would have gotten whacked if she pinched some other kid’s cheek! She couldn’t understand people. She hated it when they did that, but Dad had told all his kids a long time ago that they had to be polite! When she had her helicopter, she could just fly away from them and not have to be polite.

She had heard about her freckles all her life! People are so weird. Why would they ask where she got them? Did they really think that she went shopping for them? She hated them. Mom had them, but not as many as she did. Dad and Kenny didn’t have any. Katie and Charlie had only a few. But she had a face full! She hated every single one of them. Only Uncle Darrell knew how that felt because he had a lot of them, too.

One time when she was especially sad about having freckles, she told Uncle Darrell about it. He said that he used to hate his freckles too but then noticed that not everyone had them! He told her that he figured there were only a few people that knew how to grow them really well. He and Ginger were so good at it that they didn’t even have to work at it! They were very lucky. Everyone else was probably jealous they couldn’t figure out how to grow them. So, she didn’t feel as bad anymore, but still didn’t like them.

A lot of Mom’s brothers and sisters had freckles, too, but she and Darrell had the most. Grandma and Grandpa Jessup didn’t have any. Ginger guessed that they didn’t know how to grow them themselves so they just taught their kids how to do it instead. They must be pretty good teachers!

Ginger was getting tired standing there next to her Dad and was thinking that maybe her tights were starting to slip down over her butt again. She had forgotten to ask her Dad if it would be okay to yank them back up. There were too many people for her to ask him now. She just stood real still. Then it happened.

She sneezed. When she did that, her whole body shook and her tights slipped half way down over her butt. Now what would she do?

Dad just said Bless you, and patted her head but didn’t say anything about her tights. She stood there trying to figure out what to do. When she couldn’t stand it anymore, she just grabbed the back of her tights through her skirt and gave them a great yank. She must have pulled too hard because she heard a ripping sound and then she felt it.

A big run started to unravel the tights all the way down one leg. The tights were white and the run got bigger and bigger. She looked down and watched her pink skin bulge out of the run like bread rising in a pan! Worse yet, she felt something funny on her backside. Her eyes got huge as she realized that she had accidentally jammed her slip and some of her dress into her tights when she yanked them up! Now what would she do?

Dad didn’t have time to notice all of her trouble because Mr. and Mrs. Holloway had come over and were hugging him. Mrs. Holloway was crying and blowing her nose. Ginger was thinking that she was about to cry, too. She never even got a chance to say she was sorry about their son. They were too busy crying and she was worrying about those awful tights.

She was just about to burst into tears when Uncle Elton came over and took her other hand. He touched Dad’s arm and asked, Can I borrow Ginger?

Dad nodded as Mrs. Holloway started to blubber even more. Ginger was pretty sure she didn’t like that lady.

Uncle Elton knelt down next to her and quietly pulled her dress out of her tights. Would you do me a favor, Gopher?

Ginger blinked back the tears and bit her lip so she wouldn’t cry and nodded yes.

Well, when you are ready, can you help me get some cookies? I have a cast on my hand and I have trouble holding my plate. Would you like to go the rest room and straighten out your skirt first?

Ginger nodded again and they walked together to the girl’s bathroom. Uncle Elton opened the door for her and promised he would be waiting right outside when she was finished. She really liked him. He never, ever made her feel stupid; even if she was really being dumb.

She yanked up those hateful tights again and got her slip and skirt fixed. The run was huge, but she didn’t know what she could do about that. She wiped the tears off her face and came back out before she would cry again about that crazy run. Uncle Elton looked at her when she came out and saw that she was still fighting to hold back the tears. What’s wrong, Ginger? Is there something I can do? I’m not good at girl stuff but I can get someone to help you.

There is this big tear in my tights and I don’t know how to make it quit getting bigger, Ginger explained with the tears just about ready to run over.

Well, you can sit here on this chair and I can go get your Mom. Would you like that?

Ginger shook her head violently, No, Uncle Elton. Mom said she went to her wit’s end. That is never very good.

Uncle Elton grinned, No, I guess not. How about you come with me and you can help me fill my plate. Then we can sit down by Aunt Nora and she can help you.

Okay, Ginger nodded, But I can’t walk very fast.

That’s alright. I like to walk slow, anyway.

Ginger held Uncle Elton’s plate and he put enough cookies on it for both of them. The best part was that he let her pick out her favorite kind. There was one kind that she really liked that the top was covered in grape jelly. He let her take two of them! Then he got her a glass of punch and he took a cup of coffee. He found a place to sit down at a long table.

When they got settled, he said, How are the tights holding up? At least, nobody can see them now.

They are okay now. Thank you, Uncle Elton. You are a nice guy.

He smiled and said, Well, I appreciate that, Ginger. And just so you know, you are one of my favorite kids. Did you know that?

Hearing that made her feel so good that she felt her face go into a huge smile. He winked at her, Had a long morning, huh?

Yah, kind of.

Did you get skinned?

Ginger giggled, No. You skin your kids, but my Dad tells us that we have to think!

Horrors! Uncle Elton chuckled. I think I would rather be skinned!

Me, too! Ginger was in whole hearted agreement about that!

Suppose this cold winter has hampered the hole digging, huh, Gopher?

Yes, but Dad said it wouldn’t be a good idea. When he says that, it means we will get killed if we did.

Uncle Elton smiled, Been killed often, have you?

Seriously, Ginger answered, Not yet, but got pretty close a couple of times. Mom almost killed me this morning. I don’t think that I want to go home with her today. She might still be mad at me.

Hmm. That bad, huh? Well, I have a little good news for you. Your family is coming over to my house for dinner after we are finished here. She will probably be all over being mad by the time you guys head home.

Oh good! Ginger was delighted, but then asked seriously, Uncle Elton, can I take off these horrid tights at your house?

You sure can. You got my word on that. I am sure that Pepper can find something for your feet. By then, there probably won’t be that much left of them anyway.

Then Ginger remembered her promise to her Dad. She was supposed to tell Holloways how sorry she was their son had died. How could she do that? She got a worried look on her face.

Uncle Elton noticed and asked, What’s the problem?

Well, I promised Daddy that I would tell those people I was sorry that their boy died, but I didn’t get a chance because they were bawling and then I sneezed and then my tights came down—

Take a deep breath, Uncle Elton grinned, You ramble almost as much as your Mom. I am pretty sure that your Dad understands why you couldn’t talk to them, what with all the crying. How about you just tell Chris how sorry you are that his brother died?

Will that count?

I think that it will. And if not, I will tell your Dad that I said it was okay. How does that sound?

Ginger nodded and took a drink of her punch.

Aunt Nora came and sat down on the other side of her. She was Uncle Elton’s wife. They were Mom and Dad’s best friends in the whole world. Uncle Elton and Dad weren’t really brothers, but were better brothers than most brothers are. In fact, they were better friends than most friends are. Ginger’s Grandpa Bert lived at their house so he could be with Grandpa Lloyd and Grandma Katherine.

Hello, Ginger, Aunt Nora smiled and said as she sat down. Thank you for helping Uncle Elton with his plate. That was very thoughtful of you.

Oh, it was his idea, Ginger answered matter-of-factly.

Aunt Nora smiled at her husband and he winked back at her. Then he said, We were looking for Pepper and Chris. Ginger promised her Dad she would give him her condolences.

No, Uncle Elton, not ‘controllness’. I have to tell them I’m sorry that that guy died.

That is what people call it when they say they’re sorry that someone died. They call it giving your condolences, Aunt Nora explained. In fact, sometimes folks just say Please accept my condolences."

Oh, Condoleness?

Condolences, Aunt Nora repeated. But you can just say, I’m sorry."

That would be easier, Ginger agreed, I might tell Pepper to take my Condoleness though cause I don’t think she would be fussy if I said it wrong, do you?

No, I doubt that she would be, at that, Uncle Elton said as he took a cookie. Help yourself there, young lady. Those jelly ones are yours.

Just then Mom and Charlie came by. Mom looked at Ginger and then at the Schroeders. Oh, so that is where you went off to. Is she being a bother? She can come with me.

Uncle Elton smiled back, Not at all. In fact, she helped me fill my plate. I couldn’t have done it without her.

Okay, if you say so, Mom looked relieved, and then noticed his cast, How long do you have to have that cast on?

Aunt Nora answered, About six weeks.

That’s what the doctor’s think but I might take if off sooner, Elton said defiantly.

Mom raised her eyebrows and looked at Aunt Nora. Oh, oh boyfriend, I think you’d better keep your cast on until the doctor’s say it’s okay to take it off. You’d better behave, or you will have Hell to pay.

Ginger looked at Uncle Elton. She wondered how someone paid Hell. She decided maybe you would have to mail a check. Mom always called him her boyfriend, but she had never noticed that she told him to behave before. He was a grownup. People didn’t tell grownups to behave, did they?

Yah, I already heard the lecture! Uncle Elton smiled and shook his head. Listen to the doctors! I have to set a good example.

Yup, you need to be a good example for Ginger. She has trouble behaving, too, Mom agreed.

Do you really now? Uncle Elton commiserated with the little girl, I think some of these folks just don’t understand, sometimes. What about you?

Ginger nodded in agreement. Uncle Elton sure seemed to know a lot of stuff.

Mom giggled and said to Nora, Those two are trouble in the making! Catch you later. I am bringing some apple pies for dinner.

Ginger looked over to her Dad. Mrs. Holloway was still crying all over his jacket. It would for sure have to go to the dry cleaners, now! She could tell he was trying to help her, but she also knew if it was one of his kids had carried on that long, by now he would have said to knock it off or he would give them something to cry about! She studied Mrs. Holloway. Then she wondered if maybe he had already given her something to cry about because she was really bawling.

The little girl was amazed that anyone could have that many tears. She must have saved them up for a year. She should have run out by now. Dad’s clean handkerchief was soaked already. If she was a minister, she would tell people they had to bring their own hankies! It isn’t nice to soak up someone’s handkerchief. A person should have their own.

Then she saw her Dad open the door to a meeting room off the hall, where they all sat down. Maybe, he thought she would bawl less in there. At least, everyone else wouldn’t have to listen to her.

Then Andy and Annie came to sit down across the table from them. She got to sit across from Annie. She thought Annie was so neat. She not only was an Indian, but she also rode in an ambulance like Uncle Eddie’s boy, Marty. They both were paratroopers. Maybe she would be one of those paratroopers when she grew up but ride in a helicopter instead of an ambulance. Then they could go a lot faster. She wondered if you had to go to school to be a paratrooper.

After they got settled down, Andy said, Hello. How’s my little Ginger today?

Ginger grinned, Pretty good.

Do you remember Annie? Andy asked. He always talked to her like she was a grown up. She really liked that.

Ginger nodded, I was remembering when you said that about having to go to school to drive helicopters. Do you have to go to school to be a paratrooper?

Everyone frowned and tried to understand what she meant.

You mean the people that jump out of airplanes? Andy asked.

Ginger shook her head, That would be dumb. You could scratch your knees when you hit the ground! Annie, you know, ride in an ambulance like you and Marty do?

Annie got a big smile, Do you mean a paramedic, Ginger?

Ginger shrugged, I guess if that is the guys that ride in an ambulance.

That’s what they are called. Paramedics. Do you want to be a paramedic?

Ginger thought a minute, I might, if I don’t have to go to school. I thought that maybe I could fly in a helicopter instead of an ambulance, though.

Well, you know, Ginger, Annie replied, There are paramedics that do that! They fly to where the people are in accidents and stuff. That would be great.

They really do that! Uncle Elton! They really do! Ginger said as she picked up the cookie with the most grape jelly on it. She was so excited!

Yes, Annie answered seriously, But, I am sorry to say that they do have to go to school to do that.

Ginger’s shoulders fell and she pouted. Darn it! she blurted out the bad word without thinking.

Then she put her hands up to quickly cover her mouth and forgot about her cookie. The grape jelly on the cookie landed next to her mouth and then tumbled all down the front of her big white collar. She grabbed it real fast and tried to put it in her mouth. Without a thought and before Aunt Nora could catch her, she wiped her face with her sleeve. Now, she not only had it on her collar and sleeves, but also her white cuffs.

Andy looked at her and said, Sit still. I will go get some soda and we can clean that off in a jiff. Don’t worry about it, Ginger.

Her tears were starting to roll down her cheeks and Annie said, "It