The Pickle Jar: Eighth in the Prairie Preacher Series

Winter, 1970

The bleakness of the gray overcast sky permeated St. John’s Cemetery. A The snow drifted around the tiny casket as it waited beside the tiny grave. The desolate grave was alone in the middle of a barren area of the cemetery, and it seemed very lonely.

The elderly priest checked his watch and the sky. The cold made sun dogs around the sun when it managed to emerge from the clouds. He looked over to toward the empty parking lot and then back at the man from the funeral home. Let’s give the family a little more time. I know they have a lot going on, but I thought someone would be here for the interment.

The funeral director nodded and they stood quietly. I can wait a bit longer, Father.

The men waited, and then as evening shadows crept across the cemetery and instilled an eerie quality over all, the priest said a prayer. It was short service and the only attendants were the priest and the funeral director. The baby was interred, and the funeral director and the priest covered the little grave in silence.

When they were finished, the priest shook the director’s hand, Thanks for staying. I hate things like this. It seems like an abandonment. At least the little guy is with the angels now.

1-

Jeannie Jessup, Darrell’s wife, picked Matt up at his cabin door that early October morning. Darrell and Jeannie had befriended young Matt Harrington. Jeannie was instrumental in getting him the full time teaching job at the Merton Public for the 1970-71 year. Darrell was not only a fantastic friend; he given Matt a place to live. When he and Jeannie moved into their new home, he offered Matt their sheepherder’s cabin, ostensibly to help him keep it from becoming mice infested. Matt knew the real reason was to give him a home of his own.

Within a month, Darrell engineered it so Matt had also become the proud owner of a golden Labrador-mix female dog named Skipper and two cats, Murphy and Lady Luck. Matt purchased an old beater of a car from his new stepdad Carl Kincaid. Darrell was also on his case to buy a horse!

Matt wondered sometimes what would happen if by some totally obscure quirk, he wasn’t granted the Petition of Laicization, the technical name for a resignation from active priesthood. What would he be? Old Mc Father had a farm? He chuckled at the thought and got into the car with Jeannie.

They carpooled every day to school and on the way, picked up Diane. Diane and Jeannie had been good friends for some time. That is how Matt and Diane had met, through Jeannie and Darrell. Diane taught school at Merton Public also.

Finally get caught up on your rest? Jeannie asked, with her infectious smile. Jeannie had brown hair and eyes with the warmest smile in the world. She and Darrell had married only a few months earlier.

Yes, I think. Two weddings and a houseful of guests for week is about all a person can handle. I don’t know how you do it! I bet you had laundry up the kazoo.

Jeannie giggled, I love automatic washing machines! No, it wasn’t so much, really. I only had four stay at my house. Your niece Lorraine is sure a character, Matt. I really like her. Rain asked if she could spend the summer at our place. Did you know that?

No, but I’m not surprised. Matt chuckled, What did you tell her?

We want to see her grades mid-semester next spring. If they’re good, we’ll consider it. Darrell could use another hired hand.

Oh she’d love that so much. If you decide to have her out, I’m sure she could stay at Mom and Carl’s place, Matt suggested.

We know. She told us that she had already asked them and Ruthie and Ian, and Schroeder’s, just to cover all the bases! But she thought that being with you and Darrell would be the best. Jeannie laughed.

She is a loony one, that girl. Matt agreed. So, what do I owe you for gas, lady?

I’m still waiting for my caramel roll. But wait until next week. I feel like a sugar cube. It was good and all, but I can may never look another wedding cake in the eye again.

Me either.

You either what? Diane asked as she hopped in the car. Did little Charlie call you this morning?

No, why? both Jeannie and Matt asked. We must have left before his call.

He wondered if we could pick him up so he could walk in from the teacher’s parking lot with us, again. But I heard his mom tell him in the background he was going to ride the bus, so he needed to live with it.

Poor kid. She is such a mean old mom, that Marly, Matt commiserated, It is hard for a six-year-old to charge his classmates to watch him get off the regular school bus!

They all laughed. Matt loved that little kid. Charlie Ellison was the youngest son of the Lutheran minister Pastor Byron and his wife Marly. Marly always said that if he had been the first, he’d have been the last. He was a cute little boy, bright blue eyes, straw yellow hair, a few freckles and usually dirt on his hands and clothes! Matt and he had a good relationship and shared a lot of deep heart-felt conversations; or as deep as one can get with a six-year-old. At any rate, they each thought the other was pretty cool.

The school day was busy. Matt’s two new classes were quite a challenge. He had never taught Latin before, even though he knew it. His experience was in teaching advanced math, but he was filling in for the Latin teacher who was called out of state to care for her parents.

After school, on their way to the Jeannie’s car, Matt asked Diane, So, are we still on for tonight, Tinker?

She smiled, I am, if you are, Tuck; unless you want to put it off.

Why on earth would I want to do that? Matt grinned, being careful to look around in case any students were close by and could overhear.

Okay, can you pick me up after chores? Maybe we can catch a bite in town, before the movie. Diane asked. Diane had a slender build. Her hair was light brown and she had the biggest dark brown eyes in the world. She was graceful, not only physically but in her entire demeanor. She was soft spoken and gentle. He always reminded her of soft bunnies or a fawn.

You got it. Which movie did you decide on? Matt asked.

"The war one; Tora, Tora, Tora. Is that okay?"

Matt was surprised, It’s fine, but I would’ve never guessed it. May I ask why your chose one about World War II?

I live with Grandpa Lloyd! He talks World War II battles constantly. I thought maybe I could learn something. She giggled, But if you’d rather see something else, that’s fine. I might add; it’s a long movie. It runs two and a half hours.

That sounds good to me. I’d be happy to sit with you for two and half hours! Matt chuckled.

The good-looking young man with dark hair and near dimples was on Schroeder’s doorstep by quarter after seven. He couldn’t understand why he was so nervous. He had seen Diane everyday for almost a month; but tonight, he was a wreck. It was their first ever real date; in fact, their only official date. It would be just the two of them. Matt knocked and Elton Schroeder welcomed him in.

Elton was a man in his mid-sixties. He had salt and pepper hair and bright blue eyes. He nearly always had a big grin. He was not very tall and of a slight build, but a heart of pure gold. He loved to tease, but was always there to help any of his extended family whenever they needed it.

Taking our girl to town tonight, huh? Tinker said you are seeing a movie about World War Two? Not very romantic, Sputnik!

We think of it as educational. So we can talk to Lloyd, Matt chuckled. We need some facts.

Between you and me Matt, I don’t think the facts have a lot to do with his wars. He had Pershing in the Pacific theatre yesterday. Hell, he still thinks our Andy is in Iwo Jima. We have told him a million times it is Vietnam, but he won’t believe it. That Alzheimer’s is a wicked disease.

Yes, it is. Matt smiled. Hey Elton, I want to thank you and Nora for all you’ve done for Diane.

We love her to pieces, Matthew. She is wonderful to have around. This family can use a little class and culture. You aren’t too bad yourself, just not much class! Elton poked, As long as you get out of here before my Nora makes my hot fudge sundae.

No wedding cake, tonight? Matt teased.

Yea gads, it was good; but a fella needs a change after a while.

Nora came in the kitchen and gave Matt a hug, Is he whining about the wedding cake?

Yes, but I agree with him. I’m about caked out.

Honestly, so am I. Diane is ready but she got a call from her Mom so she’ll be a minute. Nora agreed. Nora was a beautiful woman in her mid-fifties and even more gracious than Diane. She and Elton had been married for almost fifteen years, even though they had four grown children. Keith was the oldest. He and his wife lived with Elton and Nora. They had moved back from Wisconsin that summer and Darlene was expecting a baby in a few weeks. After the baby came, they planned to get a home in Bismarck.

Is everything okay? Matt worried.

Yes. Diane smiled as she came in, Mom just wanted to check on me. She worries, you know, being so far away. She got a letter from my bother Randy. I guess he’ll be home around Thanksgiving from his tour in Vietnam.

What branch of service is he in? Elton asked.

Air Force. Diane said. Well, ready Tuck?

Ready. Hope you have a warm coat and gloves because it is getting really cold out there.

Yah, soon we’ll have snowballs cracking us in the rear. Elton grinned. Good night kids. Hurry up and leave. I want my sundae.

You are so ‘unnice’, Mr. Schroeder. Diane kissed his cheek. Good night,

Don’t forget to set the Pa Alarm when you come in tonight. We don’t want Grandpa Lloyd wandering off in an Alzheimer’s fog.

I promise.

Diane lived with the Schroeders now. She had to leave her in-laws home after Mr. Waggoner almost killed her. Schroeders, as was their pattern, took her in and made her part of their family. Over the years, they had opened their home to many people and made almost all of them part of their family.

After they were a few miles down the road, Matt asked her if she enjoyed sitting so far away from him. Diane scooted over on the seat and sat beside Matt. Our first date, she smiled and patted his knee.

Be careful, Tinker, Matt warned, Or we won’t make it all the way to Bismarck.

I know we have to be good, Diane looked at him, We can’t afford not to be.

Yah, we’re pushing it as it is. I wouldn’t want Father Bart to have any reason to give us a lecture. But Diane, our relationship is ours. Okay? Still, we need to be careful. You know.

I know. Diane’s tone became worried, Matt. Things will be okay with the Church and the petition, right?

I told you not to worry about that. It’s almost signed and sealed. The bishop in Boston wants it done with probably even more than we do. It’ll be fine.

Mom said she wrote to Randy about us. She didn’t tell me what she said but I’d guess she told him we’re in love. I hope you don’t mind.

Why would I? It’s the truth, right?

She kissed his cheek, It is.

The couple had a hamburger at the Log House and just made it to the movie in time, although they missed a few of the previews. It was eleven-thirty before they left Bismarck to go home.

This country living really can cut into a person’s romancing time, Matt chuckled. It is almost an hour trip from the town to home! No wonder Elton says he took his girlfriends milking instead of courting.

Diane giggled, I don’t know Matt. I think we’re doing it wrong. The young farmers we know all seem to be hitching up just fine enough.

Matt laughed, The longer you live at Schroeder’s, the more you sound like Elton and Grandpa Lloyd!

Diane smiled, I know. And Kevin. I wonder how Keith ended up so normal? I mean, he was raised in the same household as Kevin, but he is so much more reserved and quiet.

Think about it. With Pepper and Kevin in his family, I’m surprised he got a chance to talk at all!

Pepper is a spitfire, huh? Do you think I could ever be like her?

Do you want to be? Diane, I love you just the way you are. You don’t need to be like anyone else.

Don’t you want me to be like her?

Matt shook his head, You be however you want to be. Okay? Just don’t be like my sister Colleen!

Diane became very quiet. You know, Tuck, I can’t remember what I was like before. When you asked me if Dean was ever abusive, I didn’t want to talk about it. But he was, a bit. Dean didn’t hold a candle to his dad. Dean was very demanding and authoritarian. He didn’t beat me or anything. After I lived with his parents, I knew where he got it! My goodness, those people had so many rules, Father Bart would even shudder.

I wonder how Father Vicaro is doing with Black Bart. I’m surprised that a young man like him is so legalistic, but I guess it’s not that unusual for a new priest. Huh?

No, I don’t suppose. Matt, could he hurt us?

How? You mean Bart?

Yes. Could he mess up your petition?

No. He might want to, but what difference would any of it be to him anyway? It is now in the Vatican and there is nothing Bart can do.

You’re a good person, Matt. You don’t know how awful people can be for no reason. I used to be like you. I thought folks only did bad things for some sort of gain; but after living with Waggoners, I realize some folks just want to hurt others. Then she looked at him seriously, Do you think I could’ve learned that from them? I mean, could I be like that? Gladys probably wasn’t like that before she married Earl either. She could be terrible. I mean, I know I should feel sorry for her because her life was horrible, but some of the things she did were worse than what Wag did.

Honey, you’d never be like that. I think that Gladys went a little crazy, but it took her a long time to get like that. I know you. You’re a kind person. A little wobbly on the common sense sometimes, but very loving.

What? Wobbly on the common sense? Why do you say that? Diane reacted before she realized he was teasing. Then she giggled, You’re such a rat.

Matt patted his chest like little Miriam did when she boasted of being a Gopher, the nickname for the little kids. Matt rat.

Diane smiled and kissed his cheek. Matt big rat.

Diane, it’ll take you some time to get back to your old self, but Jeannie used to like you then and she’s a good judge of character. May I ask what did Dean do if you didn’t follow all the rules?

Depended on what it was. He never punched me; it was more like taking things away from me.

I don’t understand.

Well, once he was upset because I went to the teacher’s luncheon on a Saturday. Wag gave Dean a bad time and got him all upset. By the time I got home, he had smashed the whole set of crystal we had receive as wedding gifts.

Oh Diane.

I cried, but I just swept it up. I guess I should’ve just stayed home. I really thought things would be different when the baby came. She looked out over the cold windswept prairies, Maybe it’s a good thing the baby didn’t survive, huh? Especially the way things turned out. I should just thank God the baby miscarried. Whenever I get sad about it, I think of that. It was most likely a blessing.

Matt drove in silence for a while and then asked quietly, Where is the baby buried? In Merton?

It was a little boy and he’s buried at St. John’s Cemetery. I wanted him to named Dean Albert Junior, but Wag said that he didn’t want his son’s name used on a dead kid. When I asked what they named him, Wag said to quit talking about it. He thought it was my fault because I was still working and women should be at home to take care of their husbands.

Did you see the baby?

No. I was recovering from surgery. He only lived about two hours. I know the baby was baptized at St, Anne’s Hospital, but I never knew what they named the baby. Wag refused to let us discuss the baby. I would have asked Dean, but he was diagnosed with lymphoma before I was released from the hospital. That was a horrible time. I hate to even think of any of it. In fact, I would like to change the subject. Okay?

Okay. But Diane, you’ll have to work this out one day and settle it in your own mind.

Yah, yah. You sound like Nora. Matt, maybe it’s best to let that all just be done with.

It’ll never be done with until you settle it with yourself. But, he grinned, We don’t need to do it tonight. What ideas do you have about the school play? Romeo and Juliet?

No, she smiled, "I was thinking of that popular Broadway musical, West Side Story. It is about teenagers so the kids should love it."

Do you know how to choreograph it?

What have I got you for? Diane giggled. Really though, it’s up to you. If you’d feel more comfortable with something else, we can do that. Honestly, I don’t care.

"I think West Side Story would be great, Matt nodded. I just don’t know anything about musicals and dancing. I’m a math teacher!"

You silly man. You have a beautiful voice and are a great dancer. I’ve danced with you at the wedding dances, I know.

The things you get me into, Girl! Are you going to get these country boys to do a musical? I mean, seriously?

I think so. First of all, there will be girls and second, they all go to barn dances. So why not?

You’re an eternal optimist, Matt patted her leg, That’s one of the reasons I love you.

You’re the optimist. You and your begonia!

It will bloom again. Matt stated adamantly, You and Ian are not allowed to discuss my begonia. It will bloom again. I just know it.

We have heard you say that. Diane giggled. When?

Flowers don’t bloom in North Dakota in October! It will in the spring. You just never mind about it. You didn’t think Skipper could learn to wipe her feet either, but she almost can.

I have to give it to you there, the puppy sort of kind of does.

Oh, Darrell wants us to decide if we want horses before Sunday dinner, Matt said.

Why?

So we can tell Jerald. Do you want a horse? We can get two. I know I want one. Ian and Ruthie are planning on each getting one, Annie wants to get one for Andy so he has it when he gets back from Vietnam. So, do you want one? Jerald says he could probably do us a good deal if we were buying more than one.

I’ve never ridden a horse. I have no idea how to. What if things don’t work out? What would I do with a horse, a cat and half a dog?

Matt started to laugh, I don’t imagine half a dog would be too hard to take care of! Say we are going to have to get her fixed, too. When do we do that?

She swatted him. I’m sure she’ll let you know. So, this horse deal. What do you think?

Let’s see about going horseback riding on Saturday with Darrell and Jeannie. Then you can decide. Okay?

Okay, but I’m not very athletic!

Do you really think I am, Tinker?

Diane started to laugh now, No, you are pretty klutzy.

Thanks. Matt chuckled, You know you are a clanner now, huh?

No, not me. Why do you say that?

Because Grandpa Lloyd thinks you are one of his relatives! That’s what it takes. I’m probably the only one who isn’t a clanner. Everyone else fits in that hodge-podge called the Englemann clan.

How did that ever start, anyway? Grandpa and Grandma Engelmann aren’t related to any of them. Diane shook her head.

From what I heard, Lloyd and Katherine’s only child was killed in Korea. Katherine worked at Trinity Lutheran Church as secretary for years, even before Byron became minister there. So, they sort of took Byron under their wing when he started. His best friend was Elton and they more of less adopted him. They’re like his surrogate parents. They all lived in the old farmhouse, where Schroeders live now. That’s when they got to be known as the Engelmann clan. The rest of the clanners are all friends and family of those two. They are a very loyal bunch. No doubt. I love every one of them.

Well, I hate to tell you Matthew, but they love you too and you are a clanner. They think you are. Grandpa Lloyd thinks you are one of his relatives because you’re related to the detective who is married to his girl he can never remember the name of. To him, it all makes sense, she giggled softly. He is a kind old fellow. He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.

No, but he sure was anxious to get all the wedding guests out of his place? Matt laughed. He was polite, but offering someone a ride to the airport two days before their plane leaves is not exactly nice.

They both laughed.

Then they drove along in silence for a bit and then Diane asked quietly, How does one settle something in their mind?

It’s just a way of saying that you don’t have to hide your feelings about it anymore and aren’t conflicted about it.

What if I never get over feeling conflicted about it?

That happens, but you accept it. Okay, take for instance; I’m conflicted about this priest thing. I loved being a priest, I really did. It was something I had aspired to all my life. It still hurts sometimes when we are at Mass. But I know that it can never be what I thought it was. I could never handle covering up that pedophile business when kids in my parish were being hurt. It was killing me. So that’s the facts of it. When I start feeling badly about it, I remember the other side of things and I reconfirm to myself why I made the decision I did. And now, I look at you and I realize I’m so glad I made that decision. You ask me what would happen if the church doesn’t grant my Petition. I can promise you, I’d leave the church. You mean so much to me. I also have come to know Pastor Byron and Pastor Marvin well enough, that I’d be a Lutheran. In fact, I was going to talk to Byron in the next couple of weeks about some questions I have with all this.

Are you sure you could be Lutheran?

Yes, but that isn’t why I want to talk to Byron. Matt looked at his beloved Diane, Honey, have you ever gone to a service at Trinity?

No. I’ve never attended any church but the Catholic. I thought that was like a sin. I’m surprised that you have.

Only since I’ve been here. You know, Carl goes there and Ruthie works there. So, it just happened. And guess what? I didn’t turn into a heathen or anything!

Diane raised her eyebrows, That’s debatable! Now you’re running around with a woman while you’re still a priest awaiting laicization! Pretty heathenistic, in my book!

I’d already decided to leave the priesthood before we met! Please don’t forget that. Diane. That’s a distinction that’s very important to me. Matt’s tone became extremely serious.

She studied his face, I’m sorry I knew that, but I never realized how much. I won’t make the mistake again.

Do you understand why it matters to me?

Yes, I do. I just never really appreciated it before. I won’t say that again.

Look, I want you to understand it, he was very sincere, It’s very important to me.

She put her hand on his leg and leaned on his shoulder gently, Yes Matt. I do understand. I think it matters because you need to be assured that you didn’t simply disregard the rules. You had made the decision for moral reasons, not me. Right?

Right. Matt said. That sounds mean to say. It doesn’t diminish how much I love you. It just seems more right, this way."

Yes, it does and I respect that. Honestly Matt, it makes me feel better too.

Good.

After a little bit, she asked, Do you think that I could go visit Trinity with you some time? I’ve been curious. You know, Schroeder’s all seem to be such fine people. I have wondered what they believe. They’ve never said anything about it to me. I mean, they’re fine with me going to St. Johns and I’d never want to offend Father Vicaro.

Matt grinned, I think that if Black Bart keeps it up, Father Vicaro will be a member of Trinity’s congregation himself! Don’t tell anyone, but Vicaro said he really is driving him nuts.

Well, I wouldn’t be able to put up with him very long. He looks like he sucked too many lemons! That’s for certain.

I know.

It was late when they got to Schroeder’s yard and so Matt simply walked her to the door and gave her a very polite kiss goodnight. Then he held her face in his hands and said softly, I don’t trust myself to give you a real good night kiss. I hope they hurry with that Petition. You better go in before I change my mind. Don’t forget to set the Pa Alarm.

I love you Tuck.

I love you Tinker.

2-

It got colder every night and by the weekend, the highs on the northern prairies were only in the mid-thirties. Annie, Andy Schroeder’s wife who lived at Schroeder’s while her husband was in Vietnam, had suggested to Matt that Marly’s horse would be the best for Tinker to learn to ride on. Crenshaw, Annie’s horse, was a much stronger and less gentle horse than Moonbeam. Marly was happy to let Tinker take her out.

We’re planning to get the other kids each a horse. I don’t know about Byron. He used to ride a lot, but he hasn’t in so many years, I don’t think he remembers which side of the saddle to get on, Marly explained.

Poor Elton. What is he going to do with all the livestock? Matt asked. He has all his kid’s cows and Ellison’s horses!

Tuck, Marly giggled, You have to understand. Elton loves it. If we didn’t all depend on him, he would go bats.

He goes bats when we do, Matt laughed.

That’s true. Hm, never thought of that. Marly giggled.

Does Nora ride? Matt asked.

I don’t know. She might have before she was mauled by that sow, but it did a lot of damage to the muscles in her arm and upper chest. She and Pepper were both lucky they survived. I know Elton used to be an excellent rider. Well, I have to go scrape the mud off my youngest son. Charles Elton Ellison! How did you get that dirty between here and the church? I have to go, Matt.

Matt hung up and chuckled. If anyone could get dirty the hundred or so feet between Trinity and the parsonage where Ellisons lived, it would be Charlie!

Nora pulled Matt aside when he came over to pick up Diane for their horseback ride. Elton said he spoke to you about Diane’s baby and we’d like to take her to St. John’s this afternoon. It should be quiet at the house tonight, and we don’t want there to be a lot of commotion. I took the liberty of calling Father Vicaro and talking to him about it. He said he’ll find the burial site and if we get there around four-thirty, he’ll give a little graveside service for the baby. Jeannie and Darrell are coming. So are Kevin, Carrie, Keith and Darlene. Ian and Ruthie, Mo and Carl are going to try to make it too. I sincerely hope she doesn’t get mad at us about it.

Matt hugged his dear friend, Well, whether she does or not, she needs to do it. And we’re her family. Thanks for organizing this. Have you told her?

Not yet. I was hoping you’d do that.

Matt made a face. Can’t you?

Nora started to grin, I know who will. Elton! He is good at that sort of thing!

How does one get good at that sort of thing? Matt asked.

Don’t know, but he is. When will you kids be back from riding?

About an hour and a half. It is chilly out here and Diane hasn’t ridden before.

Jeannie and Darrell had ridden over to meet them at Schroeder’s and they saddled Moonbeam and Crenshaw. Darrell was riding his horse, General, and Jeannie was going to ride Crenshaw so that Matt could ride Cherokee. Crenshaw was very spirited and could sense when he had a nervous rider. Matt loved riding and had a natural knack for it, but wasn’t very experienced. Darrell told him he had the makings of a good rider.

Diane was very anxious about the entire adventure, but she trusted Darrell. She was confident that he’d take care of her. Diane was so timid and uneasy, that even gentle Moonbeam thought she could make short work of her. Diane would move the reins or nudge her to go faster and the horse did exactly what it wanted. If all the rest of the horses went east, Moonbeam took Diane south. It was obvious who was in control.

Before very long, a frustrated Tinker wanted to just go home and forget the whole thing. Darrell listened to her whole explanation with all the compassion and understanding in the world. When she had completed her plea with ‘Can we just go back now?’, he looked at her with his disarming smile and said, Nope.

She was shocked. What do you mean—nope? I can’t do this! You’re just being mean. I was counting on you to handle this for me. I thought you’d control this stupid horse. I thought you were in control!

Darrell just let her rant and then said calmly, Yah, well Moonbeam thought you were in control. So, instead of being mad at me, why don’t you just do for her what you want me to do for you?

Tinker shook her head, Darrell Jessup! That’s just awful! I’ll show you!

Darrell grinned with his great smile, I hope so.

By the time they got back to the Schroeder place, Diane was riding like a trooper. When she dismounted, Elton was there and asked how it went.

I tell you Elton, that Darrell is impossible. He wouldn’t do it for me, so I had to do it myself! Can you believe that? So I showed him. I don’t need him, but I’ll never like him again.

Elton started to laugh, and she gave him a dirty look. What’s so funny?

He looked at Darrell and said, It worked, huh? How did she do?

She’s an excellent rider, once she got over being afraid of Moonbeam. She is a feisty one. Between you and me, Tuck will have his hand’s full. Darrell winked at Elton. Darrell was a good-looking young man, a little shorter than Matt, but more muscular. He had mahogany hair, hazel eyes and a face filled with freckles.

Both men laughed like crazy and Diane was just sputtering, I just changed my whole idea of you guys! Jeannie, how can you stand them?

It isn’t easy, I tell you. Jeannie giggled. Let’s you and me go to the house. The guys put the horses away.

She needs to learn how to take the saddles off and all that, Darrell pointed out.

You should be glad I’m taking her away before she has your head on a platter, Jeannie grinned as she and Diane went to the house.

When the men sat down for lunch, Diane was still mad at Darrell. He kissed her cheek and asked, Will you forgive me, Tinker?

Yah, she grumped. Grandpa Lloyd said you taught me right. But I still think you could have been nicer!

I could’ve been, but it wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun!

Elton said grace and they all started to eat. They had a wonderful lunch and even had some cherry pie for dessert, no wedding cake. Over coffee, Nora opened the subject, Diane, Elton and I have something planned for this afternoon. We want you to do something with us? Will you?

Is it riding a horse?

Nora grinned, No, but may be harder. Elton will take you for a walk now and explain it to you.

A walk? What’s going on? Diane started to get worried. Matt, do you know?

Elton and I planned it. No one else. Now, you go with him, Nora handed Diane her jacket.

I think I don’t like this.

Outside, she and Elton walked a way from the house before he said anything. Too bad it’s so chilly out. Winter is coming and it is supposed to drop a lot of snow tonight.

Yes, it does every year. Diane said flatly. What is this about? I already don’t like it.

I know. This is an awkward way to go about it, but Nora and I felt it had to be done. We know only because we have faced a lot in our lives and know there are some things that just need to be done. Okay? Do you trust us?

I do trust you, but I’m sure I’m not going to like whatever this is one bit. Please just tell me. The longer you put off telling me, the more upset I’m going to get.

Yes, you’re right about that. We were going to talk to you about it and set it up for later, so that you could plan for it. However, with the ugly weather forecast, we thought we’d better do it now. You won’t have another good opportunity for several months. Nora and I discussed the loss of your baby and how you never got to mourn for your child the proper way.

Diane froze in her tracks and stared blankly at him.

We called Father Vicaro and this afternoon at four-thirty, we are having a small graveside service for the little fellow, he took her hand.

She glared it him, and started to shake her head no slowly.

Father Vicaro thought it would be the good thing to do, too. Diane, you never got to tell your son goodbye properly.

You should just butt out! It’s very personal and none of your damned business! I was sick and couldn’t go to the funeral. I didn’t just not say goodbye!

We know that and we know how personal it is. It’s very personal. You were denied the right that every mother should have. We want you to have it. Okay?

She tried to pull away but he wouldn’t let her go. He took her in his arms. She hit his shoulder at first angrily and then weakly. Then she cried. You should really leave it alone. Maybe I don’t want to do it. Maybe that part of my life is over and we don’t need to drag it all up again.

I want to tell you something, he said while he held her tightly, Nora found out that your baby was buried with just a minimal service. It was only attended by Father Vicaro and the funeral director.

She looked at the fatherly Elton in disbelief, You’re wrong. Dean went to his son’s funeral. I’m sure he did. He must have. I couldn’t go, but I’m sure he did.

No, you can ask Father Vicaro. There was no service, just a burial. No one came. No one.

By now, Diane was just crying into his arms. Those bastards! I hate them so much, Elton. I know it’s awful to say, but I really loathe them. You just don’t now how much I despise them. I always knew that Earl thought it was my fault the baby died. He didn’t want the baby named after Dean. But I thought they’d have gone to the service, or at least the interment.

Well, when Nora found out about it, that is when she decided that it may be a little late, but we can do it now. Okay? We want your son to have a proper burial and for you to be able to attend. Right? Your little angel can have a nice service. I know this is a bad way to do it, but with the heavy snow in the forecast for tonight, we thought we should do it. Otherwise, it will have to wait until spring. However, if you truly don’t want to, tell me. Nora will cancel it. Okay? We only want what’s best for you.

I can’t believe they never went to their only grandson’s funeral. And Dean! That was his baby too! They never ever told me that. Do you know what they named him?

I think it is Walter Adam or something like that. Diane, there wasn’t a service, just an interment.

She broke down and cried her heart out. That was Gladys’ father’s name. No service?

Elton just stood there holding her in his arms, trying to calm her. After several minutes, she started to pull herself together and Elton offered her a handkerchief.

She took it and apologized for the mess she made of his jacket.

Glad you quit crying when you did, I was thinking I might have to turn on the windshield wipers, he smiled. So, what do you think?

Truthfully? Diane frowned, I hate them. I really, really hate those awful people. Dean too! I can’t imagine that Dean couldn’t stand up to his parents about something like that.

He wasn’t well, Diane, Elton tried to make an excuse for Dean.

Oh hell, Elton, he never stood up to them. Ever! I hate him, too. He could’ve told me that he didn’t go and what the baby’s name was.

Diane, don’t allow yourself to do that. You didn’t marry him because you hated him. He was weak when it came to his family, but many of us are. You loved each other, but he just couldn’t deal with his family. Had he not been so sick, he might’ve done things differently. Your hate for him won’t help you. But if you want to talk to someone about that, I’m sure Father Vicaro would talk to you, or Byron is good at that. Byron has talked to me many times about stuff like this. Sometimes, I just wish he’d help me punch someone out, but he won’t. Guess that’s what I get for having a preacher for a best friend.

Try falling in love with an ex-priest! Diane giggled.

I have a deal for you. How about you and me become a team? We’ll help each other punch out those that need it! Okay? Elton suggested.

You got it! Should we sign up for boxing lessons? Diane smiled for the first time.

No. Best to fight sneaky. If they think we’re weak, we can get them from behind! Diane hugged him, If you didn’t have Nora and I didn’t have Matt, I’d run off with you.

Elton kissed her cheek, Bonne and Old Clyde! Okay, Champ, if we ever we want to leave the best things in our lives, we have a pact with each other.

Diane shook his hand. You got it.

So, what about this thing today? Do you want to show those jackasses that you aren’t going to allow them to keep your baby from having a graveside service?

She searched his eyes and then slowly nodded yes. "Yes, Elton. I’d like to do that, but I’ll probably wreck your jacket again.’

I’ll bring a suitcase of tissues!

They took a few steps toward the house, and she stopped, I have nothing to put on his grave.

Nora picked up some flowers this morning at the hardware store. She had them go in their storage and get those from Memorial Day. She said you could pick out what you liked.

Diane hugged him again, Thank you guys. Do you think Matt will come too?

Yes, and a few others of the family. Diane, you aren’t alone. Don’t think that you are anymore.

In a few minutes, they came into the house. Diane immediately held out her arms to Matt and he put his arms around her. I imagine you all know.

Yes, Darrell said. We do. We’ll be there.

She hugged him, I’d appreciate that.

3-

Matt met Elton, Nora and Diane at the farmhouse. Everyone was dressed in a suit and Nora had several memorial flowers there. She directed Matt to take a specific one that Diane had chosen. Keith and Darlene were going to bring the rest.

Elton parked the car and the four entered St. John’s. Elderly Father Vicaro was there to meet them as Father Bartholomew came through. He offered Diane his condolences and then watched askance as others came in to join the small group of mourners.

They went out to the cemetery and Father Vicaro led the way to the baby’s grave. It was a tiny grave off by itself. It had a small marker from the funeral home that stated, ‘Baby Boy Waggoner’.

Within minutes, they were joined by other members of the clan. They all gathered around as Father Vicaro spoke briefly and then said the Lord’s Prayer. When it was over, he asked Diane if there was anything else she would like, and she shrugged. He looked at her and smiled, "I’m rather partial to Jesus Loves Me, myself. Could we sing it?"

The group sang Jesus Loves Me in the cold wintery wind for a little baby whom none had ever seen, but the love behind it could not be denied. Diane was stoic until the end. When they sang Jesus Loves Me, she started to cry. She was standing between Matt and Nora. Matt put his arm around her and kissed her forehead. Then Nora took her by the arm to help her put the flowers on the grave. After Diane placed flowers on her son’s grave and everyone else followed behind with the flowers that Keith had brought. It was a wonderful small service. Diane thanked everyone for coming and then got back into Schroeder’s car. Matt rode home with Jessups, but he promised Diane he would see her after chores.

Father Bartholomew watched the whole scene with suspicion from behind the curtain in his office. He saw Matt get in the car with Jessups. That puzzled him and didn’t fit in with the scenario he had built in his mind but he was still unhappy about the whole thing. Father Vicaro definitely needed to come up with some explanation. This required more investigation. He’d certainly be talking to Father Vicaro about it.

In the den after their dinner, the younger priest looked up from his sermon notes. Father Vicaro, may I intrude on your evening a minute to discuss something that has caused me much concern.

Yes, Father Vicaro, an elderly man of Italian heritage, sighed. He was now accustomed to Black Bart’s many concerns. There were at least twenty or thirty a day. What is it?

About that thing this afternoon.

What thing would that be? Father Vicaro loved being obtuse with the obsessive young man; it was a small joy he felt he deserved. He peered over his bifocals to look at the gangly guy. Vicaro wondered to himself if Ichabod Crane was one of Bart’s ancestors and then smiled to himself.

That service. What was that all about? Just how long ago did the baby die? Why didn’t they have a service before now? What is going on? Is that baby really the priest’s child? And what is the story with that Matthew and that woman?"

Father Vicaro stared at him for a minute and then responded. I pity you, young man. You have such a suspicious heart.

Father Bart started to respond, but Father Vicaro just kept talking. Matt didn’t even move to North Dakota until this August. Diane and her husband lost their son almost a year ago. Diane was in the hospital unable to attend the service. You need to understand that Dean, her husband, was very ill. He died of lymphoma just a few months later. Dean’s father is a cruel abusive man and he refused to have a service for the child. It was only the funeral director and I when the baby was buried.

What kind of mother is this Diane that she never had something for her child before now? Bart was not giving up easily, convinced to root out whatever evil he could.

Her husband was dying and her in-laws were brutal. It was only the last month that her father-in-law was arrested and is now in prison. Her mother-in-law will be moving to Minnesota as soon as things are sorted out. We had worked very hard to find a safe place for both Diane and Gladys. We were going to move them out of there, but things were pushed up when the old man tried to rape Diane. She fought back and he pushed her down the stairs. He almost killed her.

Who is the ‘we’? You and this Matt? the fair-skinned young man squinted his pale ghostly blue-gray eyes.

Sheriff Bernard and I. Many of us worked together to get her and Gladys into a safe place before they were killed. Even their neighbors helped. I can promise you, Bart, that if you had seen Diane’s arm, you would’ve known how bad the situation was.

Bart looked at Father Vicaro doubtfully. So, where is her husband buried?

He died in early January and Waggoner’s insisted he be buried in Illinois at their family plot.

Why wasn’t the baby buried there?

I’ll tell you what, Bart. You come with me when I go see Gladys and Earl. You might want to ask them yourself. You might learn a lot about how deranged people can be.

I noticed that Diane turned to Matt at the cemetery. He hugged her and even kissed her forehead. It wasn’t appropriate.

He is a dear friend. Elton kissed her cheek, as did most of the men there. I even hugged her. What is your problem? Kindness often includes a hug and kiss. I’m not sure if it is just that you don’t like her or you don’t like him.

I’m not fond of either of them. Men like Matthew should have never been allowed into the priesthood. He couldn’t remain disciplined. He allowed himself to fall for the wiles of a woman. Now he wants out. Bart decreed smugly.

Oh, and where did you get all this? Vicaro leaned back, put his glasses on his balding forehead and scrutinized the skeptical fellow.

Well, that’s what I figured, he answered sheepishly, blanching slightly at first and then turning flush.

He’s leaving because he reported a pedophile priest in Boston to the Bishop there. Not once, but in at least five incidents. The Bishop did nothing about it and that priest is still there. Another priest also resigned the same time as Matt, for the same reason. How would you handle that? Would you keep your mouth shut? Father Vicaro was openly angry.

I believe that one must follow the direction of higher authorities. If the Bishop says to keep quiet, one should do so. Even if you can’t understand it, Bart proclaimed with self-assuredness.

Father Vicaro stood up, Well good for you. Personally, I’d have gone to the newspaper! So, put that in your pipe and smoke it. I’m going to bed and I think that you should really think about what our Savior says about not judging each other.

The church says… Father Bartholomew began.

I know what it says. Deciding who and what is good is so easy if you don’t think. Remember, God gave you that brain. I hope you have the good sense to use it. I need to get away from you right now. Good night.

Father Bart sat in the empty den and glowered at the door. He just knew that Matthew was wrong. He was rather certain that Diane was too and Father Vicaro should be replaced. He was probably senile or something. This was just all wrong. There needed to be something done.

Jeannie helped the men milk that evening. I’m glad you got the lines up between the houses and the barn, Jeannie said to her young husband, Darrell. I hadn’t heard the forecast until this afternoon. It is going to be nasty out there.

How much snow are we supposed to get tonight? Matt asked.

About six inches overnight and more tomorrow. But the wind is supposed to blow up to thirty miles an hour. That’s the biggest problem. It will blow the ground bare in some spots and pile it up in others, usually across a main road or a door! Darrell explained. Hey Matt. I was kind of wondering about that service today. I expected Dean to be buried by his son. Where is he buried?

"Nora told me that he was buried at his family’s burial plot in