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    Lost Between Wanting and Able
    Lost Between Wanting and Able
    Lost Between Wanting and Able
    Ebook146 pages58 minutes

    Lost Between Wanting and Able

    By Melba Peña

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    About this ebook

    Accepting a debilitating illness alone, with your marriage deteriorating because of your health. Emotional struggle to survive and still find happiness with acceptance. Still you battle the feeling of loneliness. Because you look different, your acquaintances treat you differently.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTrafford Publishing
    Release dateJun 5, 2012
    ISBN9781466933637
    Lost Between Wanting and Able
    Author

    Melba Peña

    Melba Peña was born in Brownsville, Texas, on January 1949. On her senior year, her parents moved to California in search of a better life. It was quite an adventure moving from a highly populated town near the ocean to a small desert town, Trona, California. After graduation, her parents moved to Southern California where she attended two community colleges, San Bernardino Valley College and Victor Valley Junior College. At age fifty, she began writing poetry and taught herself to do her own illustrations in order to publish her own books. A few years later, she began to write short stories, but her favorite is still poetry. Her favorite poems are love poems and poems of lost love. She also enjoys a little humor in her poetry. She began to enter contests where she placed several short stories after she turned sixty and were published. Her writing style is free verse, rhyming, and prose. Her poems tell stories or express deep emotions. If you read her work, you will find that it has great versatility. She probably has a poem about everything you can think of, ranging from children’s stories to those for old age. Her experiences during her married life and having children gave her a great deal of struggles and heartbreak. She suffered great struggles when her second daughter was born with hydrocephalus and Dandywalker cyst. Life has been a great giver of writing material. Life is a gift that keeps on giving. Treasure it.

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      Book preview

      Lost Between Wanting and Able - Melba Peña

      © Copyright 2012 Melba Peña.

      Have published several poems and short stories in many styles and topics ranging from personal, love and romance to political. Have published a very personal and heart filled poetry book titled Life’s Rhapsodies and also published a Children’s Book.

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

      Printed in the United States of America.

      isbn: 978-1-4669-2600-4 (sc)

      isbn: 978-1-4669-3363-7 (e)

      Trafford rev. 05/29/2012

      7-Copyright-Trafford_Logo.ai

      www.trafford.com

      North America & international

      toll-free: 1 888 232 4444 (USA & Canada)

      phone: 250 383 6864 ♦ fax: 812 355 4082

      Contents

      Chapter 1

      Introduction

      To The Wise One

      From the Wise One

      Life

      The Essence of Me

      Like Clint

      Aging

      Before the Curtain is Drawn

      Dancers

      Dark Clouds

      Darkness

      Despair

      The Blues or the Blahs

      I Feel The Same Way

      Dead End

      Rhapsody

      Truths of Life

      Like A Dove

      Circle’s End

      Loneliness Is

      Why Do I Suffer So?

      I Don’t Want To

      Patient’s Prayer

      Chapter 2

      A New Beginning

      Deeds and Words

      A Time to Sow

      A Wish

      As I Commit

      Faith

      My Daydream

      Maybe Then I’Il be A Poet

      Moon Glow Solitude

      With Praise I Pass It On

      Weeds

      The Seed of Hope

      Your Shroud

      The Rain

      Free, Wistful and Majestic

      The Winds of Time

      Goodbye My Love

      Chapter 3

      The Hallow Moon

      The Road I See

      Maggie

      Ode To The Donut

      Hey Belle

      I Like/Don’t Like

      DREAMSCAPE

      The Belle and the Cocker Spaniel

      As We Grow

      When I Was Young

      Stinky but Okay

      Raging River/Placid Waters

      Resolution

      Red

      Little Texican

      What Have You Done To America?

      The Promised Gift

      Why I’ll Never Know

      Rosa

      The Adventures of Rosita

      The Honking and the Fury

      Chapter 4

      Kites

      Rolling Green Hills

      It’s The Women’s Job To Prod

      Feliz Navidad

      Lost Love

      Game Over

      The Photograph

      Her Heart

      The Journal

      Lonely From Now On

      When The Clock Chimes Gong

      Route 66

      The Clock

      Run

      Winter

      Chapter 1

      Introduction

      Well the truth of the matter is, I fell in love with poetry in my Junior year. In my Senior year we moved to Trona, CA. I didn’t mind because I did not fit in at that time. I saw myself as an under achiever born to a family of over-achievers and cousins who were all going to grow up to be teachers and administrators. I was a lazy child and did not always put my best foot forward.

      I liked Trona from the first moment I saw it. It was like visiting a SyFi movie. The ground resembled craters, like on the moon. At first sight it gave you a wrong impression of where you were. My outer appearance was also not revealing as to who I was. It may sound strange, but I felt we were both misunderstood and both had mysteries to hide. We were not how others saw us. We fit just like a hand in a glove.

      When I was told which classes I was going to have to take, I became filled with angst when told Creative Writing. I had hopes of trying to be a writer but strong anxieties about not having the flair or style to be the exceptional writer I wanted to be. My grammar was very poor and my spelling was terrible. However, I loved reading Earnest Hemingway, William Faulkner, Edgar Allen Poe, Emily Dickenson and William Ernest Henley.

      However, I did not continue to write. Life for me began early. I married two years after graduating and had three children. At 50 years I was diagnosed with Parkinsons. However this was my chance to try writing again. But there is no fairytale ending. I did not hit it big or make money writing. I just love to write and have a great deal to say. Whether I make a name for myself or not, I will write because I love writing. My reward is hearing if my writing reached a reader enough to bring a strong emotion. To bring a response, reaction or perhaps a good laugh would be sufficient.

      My first book Life’s Rhapsodies is very special to me and is full of strong emotions of love lost. It reflects on memories of family and friends. It also includes a few children’s poems. It expresses my heritage and my love for this country. There is also a little humor.

      Alouicious—Protector of the Weak was written for my daughter as a children’s book based on a poem that is in my first book as The Teddy Bear Massacre of 1996. Alouicous was a Teddy bear that my daughter was very close to while she was ill and confined to a hospital bed for several months. She grew up with him and wanted him immortalized as a live playmate that was there for her when in need. They

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