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    Beyond Survivor – Rising from the Ashes of Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Collection of Writings
    Beyond Survivor – Rising from the Ashes of Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Collection of Writings
    Beyond Survivor – Rising from the Ashes of Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Collection of Writings
    Ebook122 pages56 minutes

    Beyond Survivor – Rising from the Ashes of Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Collection of Writings

    By Jan L Frayne

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    About this ebook

    Patricia A. McKnight: Author "My Justice"

    In this amazing new book Beyond Survivor, the very talented author, Jan Frayne, takes his readers into the arena of childhood sexual abuse recovery, battles and conquests. As one of the rare published novels from a Male Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivor, Mr. Frayne allows his readers to feel the depth of shattered mind, body and soul.

    Beyond Survivor will take you into the hurricane of emotion and strength as this boy conquers the demons and nightmares of his past. Readers will ride the rollercoaster of success as they travel through the many nightmares.

    This expertly written novel shows the path of standing strong and achieving what all mankind desires; retrieving the happiness once destroyed by the wicked. This collection of outstanding poetry and prose is a must read for all as inspiration to prevail against the challenges put forth in the battle to obtain our own freedom.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAuthorHouse UK
    Release dateMar 27, 2012
    ISBN9781467894494
    Beyond Survivor – Rising from the Ashes of Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Collection of Writings
    Author

    Jan L Frayne

    I am a male survivor of childhood sexual abuse (CSA). I love words, written, spoken, and unspoken. For so many years my voice was not heard, I expressed myself through my writing. As soon as I was able to read and write, I immersed myself in books. I was able to escape through the writings of others and eventually through my own attempts. Writing enabled me to express the pain, and the shame, of what I experienced. It later helped me to cleanse myself, to heal through the medium of writing. I seem to have lived an early life surrounded by abuse of some sort. At a very early age, I was sexually abused by my grandfather. This went on for about twelve years. Others were invited to use me as they wished. There was also mental, emotional, and physical abuse from other family members. My body was almost broken, my mind fractured, but no one seemed to notice. I grew up thinking it was my fault, I deserved it. Male survivors live within a society where a stigma surrounds the abuse of boys. It took me a long time to find my voice, to be able to share the horrors that tormented me for over three decades. I hope my words help you to understand.

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      Book preview

      Beyond Survivor – Rising from the Ashes of Childhood Sexual Abuse - Jan L Frayne

      Myths Surrounding the Sexual Abuse of Males

      There are various stereotypes and myths that surround adult male survivors’ ability to face the sexual abuse or rape. These include:

      • Males don’t feel emotions as readily as women and are less likely to be hurt by the abuse.

      • Males are supposed to be big and strong and are therefore able to deal with and fight off abuse.

      • Males cannot be raped by women.

      • Males enjoy all sex, so they must have enjoyed the abuse or rape.

      • Males should not cry or express their pain.

      • Male victims are more likely to become abusers or rapists.

      These common misconceptions and myths frequently lead to the following:

      • loss of self-esteem and self-worth

      • doubts over their masculinity

      • self-blame and guilt

      • feelings of shame, disgust, anger, and loss

      • feelings of powerlessness, apprehension, withdrawal, and embarrassment

      • fears that they won’t be able to protect and support their families

      • sexual difficulties and insecurities

      • self-harming (e.g., drinking, drug use, aggression, attempted suicide)

      • intimacy issues

      • questioning of sexual identity

      • fear of losing friends or family

      • fear that they will be judged, not helped

      What Constitutes Child Sexual Abuse?

      You may ask what constitutes child sexual abuse. CSA includes sexually-motivated contact and non-contact behaviours.

      Physical contact that constitutes CSA includes:

      • making a child touch someone else’s genitals

      • touching a child’s genitals for sexual purposes

      • making a child play sexual games

      • penetrating, i.e., putting an object or body parts inside the child for sexual purposes, including the vagina, mouth, and anus

      • physically examining a child for sexual gratification

      • engaging a child in prostitution

      Non-contact behaviours that constitute CSA include:

      • genital exposure from an adult to a child

      • making a child perform sexual poses

      • photographing a child naked or in sexual poses

      • showing a child pornography

      • making a child watch sexual acts

      • making a child listen to sexual acts

      • inappropriately watching a child undress or use the bathroom

      • downloading indecent sexual images of children on the Internet

      • witnessing others being sexually abused

      Dr Nicola J Davies

      BSc (Hons.); MSc Comm.; PhD; MBPsS

      Health Psychology Consultant

      Strangled Into Life

      Being strangled into life,

      I chose to stay.

      Within a year death ruptured a vessel in my brain.

      Once more I declined both death and a vegetable state.

      Then I became a fairy, an elf, and a prince in the books I read.

      Until, between three and eleven,

      Grandfather ripped my child’s body, heart, and soul into shredded innocence.

      There he buried trust, love, and a naive child’s spirit.

      But in my hand there was a grain of me.

      I held it.

      Inside the grain were birds, rivers, and willow branches that wrapped around me

      Until rough hands, razor straps, blood, and tears couldn’t touch me anymore.

      Image_img_2.jpg

      I Have a Secret

      I have a secret I know that I should tell.

      Afraid to say these things,

      The pain inside me dwells.

      So much fear deep within my soul, I want to let it out and

      Let the right people know.

      Now the sands of reality are gently sinking in.

      I want to tell,

      But it’s so hard to say the words.

      It’s just a dream. I wish I could believe that that scene was just a dream.

      I wish my reality was also,

      Just a dream.

      So many years ago he came into that room.

      He locked the door and said,

      I’ll take good care of you.

      The way he hurt me…

      It left me with a scar.

      I wish he could know how

      He tore my life apart.

      These days seem so hard.

      I just can’t do what is right.

      Come and help me take back my life.

      I want to be the person I once was.

      I want to go back,

      Back before it all.

      I wish I could leave it all behind me now.

      Go back before like it was.

      A memory I won’t have to carry.

      Shadowed Soul

      All alone in a dark corner…

      No one to talk to who will understand,

      Tired from fighting a losing battle against ignorance,

      Exhausted from meeting everyone else’s expectations and demands,

      It always seems like I can’t win.

      So tired I run from the light and day.

      I long for nightfall to come and embrace me

      Where I live in the darkness of my mind,

      Where I can hide my life and my hateful sin.

      So don’t look into my sad, cold eyes,

      For my shadowed soul you will find.

      It’s So Nice

      It’s so nice to be insane.

      Nobody asks me to explain

      My thoughts or weird notions.

      It’s so nice to be quite mad,

      I could be good or I could be bad.

      No one will notice or mind at all.

      It’s so nice to have lost the plot.

      I mattered once but you forgot.

      Now my sanity has gone on the run.

      It’s so nice to finally say goodbye

      To broken dreams and filthy lies.

      You never loved me at

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