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    The Princess and the Pinkie Nail: Book One in the Grottenville Series
    The Princess and the Pinkie Nail: Book One in the Grottenville Series
    The Princess and the Pinkie Nail: Book One in the Grottenville Series
    Ebook87 pages1 hour

    The Princess and the Pinkie Nail: Book One in the Grottenville Series

    By Annemarie Elstner

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    About this ebook

    Queen Holandasia is extremely concerned about the poverty, gloominess, and oh so very dreary state of her kingdom, the so-called royal kingdom of Grottenville. All that is required is a marriage between her son, Prince William, and Princess Petunia of Petulasia, a wealthy kingdom with great tourist trade, rolling hills, and sunshine. But the prince is just not interested at all.

    One dark and stormy night, a mysterious girl turns up at the Grottenville palace doors. The very unimpressed royal butler, Snootenville, opens the palace doors to this bedraggled-looking stranger. Convinced the girl is a mere peasant taking a fat chance, he drags her to the royal kitchen.

    But finally, the girl is presented to the queen, where she announces that she is, in fact, Princess Clarabella of Muchmoridian, an even richer and more splendid kingdom than Petulasia. The queen does a quick calculation in her head and sums up the advantages of Prince William marrying this mysterious girl. Oh, how nice it would be to have new drapes, new ball gowns, a new fluffy white poodle, and satellite TV! But the queen is also afraid of being the laughingstock of all of Grottenville. Queen Holandasia proceeds to put Princess Clarabella through the most gruelling and absolutely ridiculous test of all time, the Ultimate Princess Authenticity Test, to prove the girls royal identity.

    Lots of lies and deceit, laughter and giggles, sighs and slurps fill the pages of The Princess and the Pinkie Nail. Have fun with the delightful, quirky, and sometimes absolutely awful Grottenville royalty, servants, and, of course, mysterious guest. And like all good stories, learn a moral or two and even some handy hints! A great entertaining read for young and old alike. Enjoy!
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAuthorHouse UK
    Release dateSep 18, 2012
    ISBN9781477227299
    The Princess and the Pinkie Nail: Book One in the Grottenville Series
    Author

    Annemarie Elstner

    Author Annemarie Elstner is a musician, teacher, and storyteller. Since the birth of her daughter, Toni-Marie, she has kept her little girl amused with silly bedtime stories. Up until the beginning of 2012, all the author’s stories had been inside her head and not on paper and accessible to other mothers, fathers, and children. Her daughter sweetly said, “Mommy, you are really good. You should be a writer!” And so Annemarie Elstner proceeded to take the stories from her head and write them down. The author has always been a very creative person. She sings and plays the piano and writes her own songs. She also performs in a jazz duo, hosts her own music show Velvet and Stone, and teaches music classes. But when she is with her daughter, who is definitely her muse, the stories just come pouring out. Annemarie Elstner stays in a little cottage next to a mountain just outside of Johannesburg, South Africa. It is a beautiful place, peaceful and calming to the spirit, an ideal spot to allow the creative gifts within to flow. The author is currently working on her third Grottenville book and illustrations. Keep a lookout for book three in The Grottenville Series, The Legend of Sleepy Horror. About the Book (for the back cover) The conniving yet quite stupid Queen Holandasia, her even sillier son Prince William, the intelligent and beautiful Princess Clarabella, Snootenville the royal and oh-so-sarcastic butler, and all the strange palace staff of Grottenville return in this second Grottenville book. Prince William and Princess Clarabella are officially engaged. The palace of Grottenville is in a buzz and a flurry, what with all the wedding plans and preparations. Queen Holandasia is insistent on a Hawaiian menu, tomato red drapes, and a pineapple wedding cake! Princess Clarabella is secretly wishing that her future mother-in-law would just disappear. To add to the buzz and flurry, Princess Clarabella’s parents King Engelbert and Queen Bertha arrive at the door of Grottenville palace. Snootenville the butler is his usual sarcastic self but is secretly quite excited about the pending union, as the princess comes from a very wealthy kingdom, and this could mean great benefits to all the staff. Grottenville is still in severe economic decline, and a marriage between poor Prince William and rich Princess Clarabella will definitely fix all of that. Everyone is dreaming of new velvet drapes, soft cuddly slippers, and pots of steaming hot tea! But what strange illness has suddenly befallen Queen Holandasia? What are the strange eerie cries echoing down the dark dismal passages of Grottenville palace? Is the upcoming wedding cursed by some strange evil lurking in the palace hallways? Lots of surprises and snorts, hiccups and howls, and lies and laughter fill the pages of Beauty and the Beastly Wedding. Have fun with the delightful, quirky, and sometimes absolutely awful Grottenville royalty; servants; and, of course, our new arrivals, the not-so-easily convinced King Engelbert and his very trusting, loving wife Queen Bertha with her purple hair and excellent massage techniques. And like all good stories, learn a moral or two and even some brilliant handy hints! A very entertaining read for young and old alike. Enjoy!

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      Book preview

      The Princess and the Pinkie Nail - Annemarie Elstner

      THE PRINCESS AND

      THE PINKIE NAIL

      26587.jpg

      Book One in The Grottenville Series

      Written and illustrated by:

      Annemarie Elstner

      With the assistance of Toni-Marie Pinto Faca

      (her eight-year-old daughter)

      US%26UKLogoB%26Wnew.ai

      AuthorHouse™

      1663 Liberty Drive

      Bloomington, IN 47403

      www.authorhouse.com

      Phone: 1-800-839-8640

      © 2012 by Annemarie Elstner. All rights reserved.

      No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

      Published by AuthorHouse 09/11/2012

      ISBN: 978-1-4772-2728-2 (sc)

      ISBN: 978-1-4772-2729-9 (e)

      Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

      Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

      Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

      This book is dedicated to the child within all of us.

      And may that child learn to smile and laugh a little more.

      O h drat it! cried the prince of Grottenville. How many times do I have to tell you, Mother? I refuse to marry Princess Petunia. I don’t love her, and she has far too many poodles. It just aggravates my sinuses. What don’t you understand?

      The prince was getting quite worked up, and it was a conversation that repeated itself at least three times a week. Queen Holandasia was at her wits’ end. The economic climate in Grottenville was absolutely awful, and all that was needed was a marriage between her son, Prince William, and the rich rather brattish (but who cared about that when the folks were loaded?) Princess Petunia of Petulasia. Oh what a great kingdom that was, all rolling hills and sunshine, good crops and awesome tourist trade. In the queen’s eyes, a union between William and the darling Princess of Petulasia was surely a match made in heaven. What did the silly child know about love anyway?

      Darling, crooned the queen, Princess Petunia is a delightful creature, and everything has been arranged. Now not another word about it; do you hear?

      Prince William bit his tongue—no, not like keeping your mouth shut; he really bit his tongue—and yelled in pain.

      Oh for heaven’s sake, cried the queen. There is no need for such drama.

      But I bit my tongue. Ooh oooh. It is excruciating. The prince was holding the side of his face. And it is all your fault, Mother! These pilchard sandwiches are awful, and the bread is as hard as a rock. I bit down really hard on this particular sandwich and took a great bite out of my own tongue.

      Oh, you are so ungrateful. I got a really good deal on that shipment of pilchards in tomato sauce. And it is not my fault that Grottenville has been in such a crisis. How we’ve managed these last ten years… I really do not know how we’ve done it. The queen sighed and stared at the rather unimpressive pilchard sandwich lying on the table. Just to think—all that beautiful china we used to eat off, and now the butler has to plonk everything down on this cheap and tacky plastic reusable tablecloth.

      Oh, Mother, when are you going to get that bottle of gin because I have been hoping to taste it? the prince interrupted.

      What bottle of gin? asked the queen, eyeing her son suspiciously. Have you been snooping around in my royal chamber again? I’ve told you a million times not to meddle with my stuff, you cheeky little brat.

      Oh, Mother, how could you say that to your only son? replied the Prince looking all pathetic and wounded.

      Stop trying to change the subject, retorted his mother. We have a wedding to plan. Pink roses, green roses—I don’t know which ones to choose. I wonder what Princess Petunia would like on her wedding day.

      Suddenly, a crash of thunder shook the room and a flash of lightning lit up the sky.

      Oh great, said the queen, I left the blooming carriage door open. Snootenville, she called out. "Drat, where is that pesky little butler? Snootenville!!! Come here now!" Bits of spit were flying out of the queen’s royal mouth, and a speck landed on Prince William’s cheek.

      Gross, Mother, exclaimed the prince. Can’t you keep your royal slobber to yourself?

      The door to the royal dining room was flung open, and there stood Snootenville the butler.

      You called, Madame? enquired Snootenville with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. His rather large nose was pointing towards the royal pressed ceiling. The butler really had absolutely no time for the queen at all. His rather prompt entrance was not due to any desire to serve the queen. He just happened to be eavesdropping outside the dining room door. Snootenville loved sharing all the royal gossip with the other kitchen staff.

      Snootenville, said the queen in an overdramatic voice, I have left the royal carriage door open!

      Splendid, replied Snootenville. That carriage was in need of a good clean anyway. With that, he stepped backwards to exit the room.

      Whaaat! exclaimed the queen. Go close the door immediately. I order you, Snootenville. And what are you trying to imply anyway? That carriage is spotless.

      Really, said Snootenville. Well I had better be off then.

      Just then, a loud knocking

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