Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Understanding Abusive Church Leadership: What It Looks Like and How It Debilitates the Life and Spirit of Church Members
    Understanding Abusive Church Leadership: What It Looks Like and How It Debilitates the Life and Spirit of Church Members
    Understanding Abusive Church Leadership: What It Looks Like and How It Debilitates the Life and Spirit of Church Members
    Ebook109 pages1 hour

    Understanding Abusive Church Leadership: What It Looks Like and How It Debilitates the Life and Spirit of Church Members

    By Judy R. De Wit

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Abuse in the church is real. The place where one expects to find love, inspiration, and healing can become the very place where harm and destruction occur. Sadly, pastors and church leaders can bring abuse to their people through the use of a rigid and harsh approach to leadership. Other leaders are indifferent about what happens at church. When legalism and self-righteousness dominate or permissiveness is pervasive, the church that God intended is destroyed.

    In Understanding Abusive Church Leadership: What It Looks Like and How It Debilitates the Life and Spirit of Church Members, author Judy R. De Wit presents a challenge to you to identify what kind of leadership your church uses. Once you determine its approach, you can determine what changes your church should make to enhance a healthier church environmentone that leads to a better church for everyone.

    Christs mandate for His Church is for it to be a place of healing, restoration, and recovery. Everyone should feel safe to be a member. Understanding Abusive Church Leadership seeks to equip you to help your church to serve God as He intended.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisheriUniverse
    Release dateJun 25, 2012
    ISBN9781475926750
    Understanding Abusive Church Leadership: What It Looks Like and How It Debilitates the Life and Spirit of Church Members
    Author

    Judy R. De Wit

    Judy R. De Wit grew up in Iowa as the youngest of five children. She graduated from Dordt College in 1984 and taught in Christian Schools for fourteen years before receiving her MA in marriage and family therapy from North American Baptist Seminary. She is currently a therapist in the Twin Cities metro area of Minnesota.

    Read more from Judy R. De Wit

    Related to Understanding Abusive Church Leadership

    Related ebooks

    Christianity For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Opinion: ‘Meticulous’ Study Shows That Value-based Care Works

      Jul 24, 2019

      The positive, long-term results of the Alternative Quality Contract model should signal to public and private payers in red and blue states that they should continue on the path to…

      4 min read

    • Article

      The Kingdom In The Marketplace

      Apr 13, 2020

      There are so many Christians in the marketplace who remain hidden or silent, despite so much teaching available from the church, internet, TV, and other media. Why are these believers and their faith so hidden? Here are a few pointers to assist you i

      1 min read

    • Article

      WHAT EXACTLY IS A believer?

      Oct 30, 2020

      WHAT EXACTLY IS A believer?
      3 min read

    • Article

      7 Quirky ‘Doctrines’ DEBUNKED

      Oct 28, 2022

      Jesus said that the truth sets us free. But the opposite is also true: Lies put us in bondage—even if the lies are spoken from a pulpit by a sincere minister or a Christian celebrity. In my international travels, I’ve sat in countless meetings and he

      3 min read

    • Article

      A Matter of Trust

      Mar 27, 2020

      A Matter of Trust
      6 min read

    • Article

      A Scriptural Study Of Isaiah 6 Isaiah’s Calling To Be A Prophet Part L

      Oct 21, 2019

      So many times, we pray for an Isaiah 6 experience. A scripture well known to all of us. The experience where the train of the robe of Abba Father filled the temple, in a vision that Isaiah saw. The posts of the door moved at the voice of him that cri

      3 min read

    • Article

      Begin Again

      Jul 26, 2022

      Begin Again
      2 min read

    • Article

      Proclaiming The GOOD NEWS Laying Everything Down For The Sake Of The Gospel

      Apr 22, 2019

      In Romans 1, we read the story of Paul the apostle giving a message to the church in Rome. After the resurrection, Paul tells the church that their faith is being proclaimed to the whole world; that Jesus, their Messiah, was raised from the dead and

      3 min read

    • Article

      Pastors Need A Firm BIBLICAL FOUNDATION

      Dec 30, 2019

      The Gospel is the most powerful force on this earth. The transformative power of the Cross changes lives around the world daily. If the Gospel is not changing hearts, then it is not the full Gospel that is being preached. In Africa today we see a num

      4 min read

    • Article

      The Importance Of Exercising Your Faith

      Sep 4, 2020

      JOY! Magazine seeks to glorify God by educating and informing Christians of a Biblical Worldview and applying the Lordship of Jesus Christ to all areas of life. “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must

      2 min read

    • Article

      Ask Val

      Mar 18, 2022

      Ask Val
      2 min read

    • Article

      God is Your Ultimate Employer

      Jun 24, 2019

      When we get to grips with the implications of the Gospel for our work, it is nothing short of revolutionary. Materialism and consumerism have had devastating effects on how we work. Often, as Christians, we have regarded work in the same way, bringin

      1 min read

    • Article

      The Kingdom In The Marketplace

      Mar 16, 2020

      Today, there is little understanding of the message of the Kingdom in the marketplace, yet we are all called as ministers to grow His Kingdom (2 Cor 3:6). Many set worldly goals for the selfish advancement and selfish rewards, where work has just bec

      1 min read

    • Article

      Young Evangelists Are Answering The Call

      Jul 22, 2022

      Many years ago, Evangelist Reinhard Bonnke spoke of a vision that the Lord had given him of young people preaching the Gospel on the streets of Europe. That vision has taken another step forward with the introduction of Fire Camps – retreats for youn

      3 min read

    • Article

      The Purpose of PAIN

      Sep 23, 2022

      The Purpose of PAIN
      4 min read

    • Article

      Saturday, April 4

      Feb 14, 2020

      WRITING IS MY CALLING. EVEN without compensation, I would write. My latest book explores the life of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I wrote the first draft in 2005. Countless editors rejected it. Over ten years, I rewrote the manuscript no fewer than eig

      1 min read

    • Article

      The Prophet’s Impact On A City!

      Nov 27, 2020

      The modern-day prophetic move of this last decade has focussed primarily on the aspect of personal prophecy and its benefits for the believer. However, if we study the prophetic office we see a heightened calling on the office of a prophet. Prophets

      1 min read

    • Article

      The Holiness Of God

      Nov 19, 2021

      The Holiness Of God
      3 min read

    • Article

      Josh & Tara McCauley On A REDEMPTIVE Mission

      Sep 4, 2020

      Whilst his friends were out playing cops and robbers, a young Joshua would sit in the front row of church listening to the sermons of his dad (Rhema Church founder, Pastor Ray McCauley) blissfully unaware that one day he too would be standing behind

      10 min read

    • Article

      Many Diabetics Might Not Need to Prick Their Fingers

      Jun 12, 2017

      Finger-prick blood glucose testing does not offer a significant advantage in blood sugar control or quality of life for patients with type 2 diabetes who do not take insulin for the condition, a new study suggests. “There has been a lack of consensus

      2 min read

    • Article

      The Appeal Of A Prophet

      Oct 29, 2021

      The Appeal Of A Prophet
      10 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Understanding Abusive Church Leadership

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Understanding Abusive Church Leadership - Judy R. De Wit

      Copyright © 2012 by Judy R. De Wit

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

      iUniverse books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

      iUniverse

      1663 Liberty Drive

      Bloomington, IN 47403

      www.iuniverse.com

      1-800-Authors (1-800-288-4677)

      Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

      Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

      Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

      ISBN: 978-1-4759-2674-3 (sc)

      ISBN: 978-1-4759-2675-0 (e)

      ISBN: 978-1-4759-2676-7 (dj)

      Library of Congress Control Number: 2012908754

      Contents

      Acknowledgments

      Note From The Author

      Introduction

      Part I Rigid Church Leadership

      Chapter 1 At The First Self-Righteous Church

      Chapter 2 Rigid And Spiritually Abusive Churches

      Chapter 3 The Effects Of Rigid And Spiritually Abusive Churches

      Chapter 4 Stories Of Rigid And Spiritually Abusive Churches

      Part Ii Chaotic Church Leadership

      Chapter 5 At The Community Church Of Chaos

      Chapter 6 Chaotic And Spiritually Abusive Churches

      Chapter 7 The Effects Of Chaotic And Spiritually Abusive Churches

      Chapter 8 Stories Of Chaotic And Spiritually Abusive Churches

      Part Iii Healthy Church Leadership

      Chapter 9 At The Healthy, Spiritually Rich Church

      Chapter 10 Healthy And Spiritually Rich Churches

      Chapter 11 The Effects Of Healthy And Spiritually Rich Churches

      Chapter 12 Stories Of Healthy And Spiritually Rich Churches

      Conclusion

      Chapter 13 Determining Your Church’s Leadership Style

      References

      Endnotes

      Acknowledgments

      I wish to express my sincere appreciation to Rev. Harrison Newhouse, who provides me with encouragement and support when I get frustrated with the harmful ways in which the church responds to its people.

      Thanks to Dr. Lanny Law, whose work with churches over many years has provided the support and encouragement I need to continue on with the subject of harmful and abusive leadership.

      Thanks to Rev. Ladan Jennings, whose insight validates my continued work in this field.

      With gratitude and love for God, I say thanks to Him for opening up my mind to understanding first how rigid and chaotic parenting approaches cause harm and abuse to families. From there He helped me to see that churches operate the way families do and gave me insight into how rigid and chaotic church leadership harms and abuses church members.

      Judy R. De Wit

      Note from the Author

      I never thought of myself as smart enough to write a book. Yet, after ten years of studying books, taking classes, doing training, talking with experts, and researching materials on the topic of abuse in the church, I realized I had to put down on paper what I’d learned.

      Breaking the Silence within the Church was written to help church leaders know how to identify, respond, and recover when abuse happens in their church. Forgiving the Church was written for anyone who is harmed or abused by the church and wants to begin the forgiveness process.

      In Roman 13:10 it says, Love does no harm. That should be true in our families, churches, and communities. But is it? Understanding Abusive Church Leadership and How You Became You challenge this question, for sadly, both church leaders and parents can abuse.

      We are familiar with the different kinds of abuse. We know that sexual, physical, emotional, or any of the lesser abuses, can cause horrendous damage. Spiritual abuse is added when the abuse is committed by a church leader.

      There are two kinds of spiritual abuse. One is rigid and controlling. A subtle (or sometimes not so subtle) and manipulative leader who misuses scripture and promotes the belief that our God is an angry God is engaging in spiritual abuse. This spiritual abuse is grounded in anxiety and is rooted in the idea that being a good Christian is about obeying all kinds of rules and laws. When members violate the church’s rules and laws, messages from the church leaders are that the members are shameful human beings. Combine that with heavy doses of guilt and scriptural verses to support it, and abuse happens.

      The second kind of spiritual abuse is when leadership is chaotic. A whatever attitude creates leaders doing whatever they believe is right in their own eyes and disregarding what is best for church members. Members also have the freedom to do what they want in both their personal and church lives when leadership lacks accountability, integrity, and honesty. Issues like having sex outside of marriage, drinking excessively and getting drunk, practicing homosexuality, and having abortions are not addressed by leadership. They as well as their members engage in lifestyles in which expectations and obedience to scripture are loosely regarded.

      Both of these leadership approaches lack a healthy representation of God. God is neither an angry God nor a God who ignores sin. He is a God of justice and mercy. He calls His people to account when wrong happens and also extends mercy when He remembers the frailty and condition of His people.

      What kind of spiritual leadership does your church use? Is it a rigid and self-righteous approach, or is it chaotic, using a whatever attitude? Hopefully, it is neither, and instead uses a healthy leadership approach that enhances and strengthens the faith and life of its members.

      Judy R. De Wit

      Introduction

      Few church leaders know how to properly lead a church.

      That thought may offend some of you, but I say this after having dealt with church leadership on all levels since the late 1990s. My engagement with church leaders is centered on situations where pastors and church leaders engaged in abuse and the system for addressing the allegations failed. More likely than not, I find church leaders struggling with what it means to demonstrate proper direction and leadership when crises arise. Sadly, when allegations of abuse have come forward, I’ve seen the response of church leaders add to the pain of victims instead of relieving it.

      I am not trying to put the blame solely on the leaders. I understand that most pastors and elders do not have the training, experience, or education to know how to exhibit healthy leadership within a church. Many elders work in occupations that are very different from church administration. Younger pastors admit that they didn’t learn enough in seminary about how to do all of the administrative parts of ministry. Some experienced pastors say they’ve had to learn it as the years went by, while others admit it’s not their strong point in ministry work.

      The local church is a unique institution. It has employees, volunteers, a budget, church members, policies and procedures, expectations, and a lot of opinions. It is a ministry, but it can look like a business. It doesn’t make money, but it needs a lot of money to

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1