Sweet Innocence

Sweet

INNOCENCE

BOBBIE JO MACK

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©

Copyright 2012 Bobbie Jo Mack.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

ISBN: 978-1-4669-4881-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4669-4883-9 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4669-4882-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012913068

Trafford rev. 08/16/2012

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CONTENTS

PART 1        THE LOST SOUL

1     Deceased Virginity

2     The Sex God

3     Chills

4     New Year

5     Last Mistake

6     Deference

7     My Lighted Star

PART 2        THE UNSETTLED VENGEANCE

8     Fade Away

9     Abandon

10   Escape

11   Homecoming

12   Midnight Fortune

13   South Miller Street

14   Nightmare

15   Deathly Decision

16   Follow

17   Hell

18   Thoughtful Hero

19   Sweet Revenge

AUTHOR’S NOTE:

First, I would like to thank you for choosing to read my story. This story is deeply personal to me, and I hope it sparks emotions in you that help you understand and enjoy what you are reading. I worked and finished this piece of work in less than a year while I was away at college. With no friends and spiraling into a depression, I turned to writing for comfort, and it consumed me literally every hour of every day. I quit going to my classes and ignored my roommate. I sat at my desk, put my headphones on, and listened to Heavy in Your Arms by Florence and the Machine on repeat.

It is inspired by more than many true events.

DEDICATED TO

My best friend Joyce Jackson. Without you that year, I probably would not have been here to make this happen.

And to my family. I could not have done it without all of your support.

Thank you from the nethermost part of my soul.

PART 1

The Lost Soul

1

Deceased Virginity

October 12, 2009

Iremembered every detail of the beginning of my end. Captured like an endless, lifeless soul waiting for the end. My life had been torn apart by my many senseless decisions. Life, as I had known it as a young girl, was over, and I could not have regretted it more. The judgments we make as young adults influence what happens in our future. My dignity and self-respect had been stolen from me and could never be returned. It could never be saved by some thoughtful hero.

I would remain scarred for as long as I live It was completely my fault, and I did not blame anyone else. However, my mother did—she loved to blame my many imperfections and mistakes on the influence of the friends that I kept. I knew that it was not their fault. I had made my choices based solely on what was going through my mind. The child in me was gone, and I was ready for the real world . . . or so I thought. I remember my childhood days; they were not that long ago. The truth is, however, I cannot turn back the time. The past will never change, but the future is unforeseen.

His arms stood at either side of my head, straining his well-built muscles. His breathing slowed. The movement of the water beneath the sheets would move with every motion he made. His face was so pale and sweaty it was dripping from his bleach blonde hair, down his soft cheek, and to the bottom of his neck. He had the most frightening, beautiful eyes that scared me into a tremor. The light-blue erotic eyes were staring at me with such drive and determination that I could see them glimmer with a sense of accomplishment. I could not look to his face. The biggest hint of a successful, cocky smile shined from his lips, and it made my stomach weak. This is what he wanted, and this is what I wanted. From the very day that I turned eighteen, a month ago, I wanted him to take my virginity.

I crept slowly up the four stairs that led to the door that would take me out of the dusky morning air. A pair of light-blue eyes was waiting for me at the door, peering out of the window. When I reached the door, it opened to a dark, pet-odor-scented living room. On the far side of the room was a large television screen, and next to it sat a birdcage with a wide-eyed parrot nestled inside.

A narrow unlit hallway led to the back of the house from the living room. I was directed down this hallway and led into a average-sized lamp-lit bedroom. I would say that it was a cozy room if it was not for all of the clothes, shoes, and other miscellaneous junk all over the floor and dressers. The lamp sat next to the small television on the highest of the dressers and gave the room just enough light to see the entire area. The largest object was the queen-size water bed that was positioned in the very center of the space. As I studied the room further, I had forgotten he was in the room with me.

I had not realized that all he was covered in was a white cotton towel until I looked at him from head to toe. This is what I told him I fantasized about. He had set it up perfectly for me. This is what I wanted. He whipped off his towel and dropped it to the floor. I only glanced for one second at his manly part before he took complete control of my body.

He laid me down on the bed with little force and unzipped my jacket to reveal my most sexy black bra. My breasts became excited as he reached to reveal their nakedness. He took one fully into his mouth and sucked and tongued it until it felt almost numb while his hand played with the other, twisting and massaging. His hand left my breast and went slowly under my shorts. While he still sucked and bit my nipples, he managed to touch me and tease me so erotically.

His mouth left my chest, and he used both hands to pull off my shorts to reveal my most private place. This was a place that had never been seen by anyone but me since I was in diapers. He spread my legs apart and looked at me. Then he stroked me with the gentlest touch, playing and caressing. I had so longed for a guy to touch me this way. He had me so wet and so horny I could not stand it any longer. He pulled me to the edge of the bed and asked me if I was ready. I nodded.

I was not ready, not at all ready. I knew that I did not have any experience in the sex department, but I sure as hell knew that the guy is supposed to go slow at first, especially with a virgin. He grabbed the head of his manly part and rubbed it against my private place before he immersed inside me will full throttle. I wanted to scream.

I could not find my voice after that. I was so lost in my head. From the very second he had entered me, I was out of my mind. This is not how it was supposed to be. I knew there was going to be pain but had hoped he would take it slowly with me to loosen me up a bit. His raging hormones had gotten the better of him, and they had taken complete control.

I shut my eyes, hoping, thinking irrationally that it would make the pain go away. He wanted me to look down at him. He wanted me to see his manly part deep inside me and see that I could no longer call myself a virgin. I lay back down on my back, and he continued to thrust himself into me harder and deeper. After about three minutes, the pain started to ease up a bit, and I could take a breath. I could tell, after about another ten minutes, that he was getting exhausted because he started to slow his pace.

He lay down next to me and took my hand and cupped it around him. It was the very first time I had ever touched one before. I moved my hand up and down and played gently with the tip. To my surprise, he started to moan in pleasure, and his body was shaking. I was so aroused to see that I was the one making him moan in that way, so I took the condom off his manly part and went even faster. His body shook vigorously, and in no time at all, he released into my hand.

He cleaned himself off and put on another condom. I got up to wipe my hand off, and I heard him curse behind me. I turned around to see his parents’ bedspread covered in blood. He told me that he would just deal with it when we were done, but he put a towel under me before we did it again. It started to feel really good as he went faster and faster, and I heard moaning again, but this time, it was me.

This was a feeling I had never experienced, and it was undeniably a worthy one. He pulled out and told me to turn over. I did as I was told and felt oddly uncomfortable with this position. Nevertheless, he put his part back inside me and continued thrusting. It seemed like he was having some trouble keeping it inside me because he had to keep grabbing it and putting it back in. I was not too concerned with this until he missed my private-place hole.

The deepest pit of hell is where I would have rather been than have had this feeling. I would take spaghetification from inside a black hole, stretched out vertically over a mile and pushed in horizontally till my bones are crushed over this. The inside my stomach felt like it was going to shatter in a million pieces. I could feel him inside me. He was not even more than five inches in length, and I felt like it reached the top of my stomach. It was wrong—so very wrong for anything to enter that part of the body. There was so much pain that I gasped loudly and cursed under my breath. He pulled out of my behind and apologized for missing.

I had told him before that I did not ever want to have that kind of sex, especially my first time. I nodded and accepted the apology. I had found enough breath to utter a few words. My only words the whole time . . . Fuck. That hurt like a bitch.

Assuming that it was not going to happen again, I relaxed my body, and he continued pounding his hips against me as his part remained hard and firm inside my private place. I gasped again when he missed a second time. He apologized again, but this time, he did not pull out. He knew that I was at his mercy and that I would not/could not stop him.

He pushed himself deeper into the wrong hole and slowly pulled it back. Again, he thrust it back in and pulled my hips closer to him as he smacked my bare ass and moaned at the pleasure he felt. I had my eyes pinched so tight and my lips pressed together to keep myself from screaming. I imagine that if anyone could have seen my face, they would see complete agony and regret marked there. I could not speak a word to him. I could not tell him to stop. I had lost my voice and my mind. I was not in control of my body. It was the scariest, most terrifying feeling I think I would ever experience.

Interrupting, his phone, which was sitting on the dresser, started ringing. It was his brother telling him he was on his way home. After it was over, I had Caite, my best friend who had dropped me off at his house earlier, come pick me up from his house. I was in panic, and Caite stopped what she was doing to come retrieve me. I will never be able to thank her enough for that.

After the phone call from his brother, he started dressing and threw me my shorts that he had thrown across the room. I took that as the sign to start getting dressed also. I dressed quickly (I only had a bra, shorts, and jacket to put on) and texted Caite to please come and get me because I was in trouble of getting caught. We went out into his living room, and I sat down on the couch and he on the chair on the other side of the room. We started talking as if nothing serious had just happened. We were talking like we usually had—like best friends. His name was one I would never forget. The nineteen-year-old boy I lost my virginity to—Jaden Connery.

We drove back to Caite’s house, and I