Anatomy of a Cheater: Book 1: the Early Years

Acknowledgments

To my many friends and colleagues, this project and collaboration started a long time ago. With great pleasure, I thank friends and families in groups.

First, those who watched me write, type, and research my information: Nehal Bodalia, Willie Hudson, Reggie Byrd, Roderick Williams, DJ Reggie Dee Davis, Henry Sears, Lafite Tucker, Candace Mitchell, and Morry Wright. I thank you for the encouragement. Through harsh lemons, we churned and stuck together to make lemonade that was sweet enough to share.

To my family, Kim and Lavone Hill, Reggie and Juanita Williams, Tony and Tewanna Webb, Phtosa Williams, and Joyce M. Williams, thanks for the helping hand when I was down and for the push to take this project from just thoughts in my head to the empowerment of others. It was a long ride, but you supported me along the way.

To my best friend, Byron Simon, you have been encouraging and exhibited steadfast loyalty throughout the process. You truly embody the strong meaning of a friend and supported my efforts in so many ways. I sincerely thank you for being the harsh critic you were, to make me understand how important it was to tell my story. I will never forget your statement, I knew when I met you, you had a story to tell to achieve greatness and leave your mark on society!

To the spiritual team I amassed along the way, Dr. Cynthia Wolford and Cindy Hubbard: Dr. Wolford, when I needed a profound word from God, you found the words from above to shelter me. You continually asked from a spiritual position, Hurchel, what is your message? What is it you want others to know? Although a harsh self-evaluation ensued, you made me reach inside of myself and find the right reason to approach the masses with my story of redemption and method to my madness. To Cindy, my second spiritual adviser and friend, thanks for exposing me to a hands-on approach to my faith and religion through accountability. You gave me the necessary tools to understand Matthew 6:33: But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. For your efforts, I thank you both.

To my graphic design artist, Jennifer JE Wilford, thank you for taking the plunge to assist with this project from start to finish. You’ve had your hands in the process since its inception, and you alone helped me navigate the publishing and marketing maze associated with exposing the world to my work. With a no shortcuts mentality, we did it through hard work and dedication to our craft. Again, thanks, my business assistant and friend.

To the characters who are loosely portrayed within the pages of my book: a strong effort has been made to change the names to protect the innocence of anyone depicted within. I thank you all for the purpose you entered and exited my life. Without you, the wisdom of life would have taken a much longer road to understanding. Special thanks to Mariska, Cheyenne, Alexis, Hailey, and Diamond for affecting my journey in one way or the other.

Finally, to my immediate family, especially my children, who endured the process of separation from their father to make his dream a reality: The traveling for promotions, the late-night hours of writing and typing, I say thank you and I love you for the sacrifices you’ve had to endure. To Nicole D. Williams, the best wife, turned best friend: I thank you for putting up with my antics and for the encouragement you gave to move forward with this project, when most days I know you disagreed with the material. Although the first book does not cover a time period when we knew one another, you and you alone know what lies ahead to complete the trilogy. My biggest supporter and my best friend, I will never forget the unwavering spirit you exhibited to help make my dream my reality.

Contents

Acknowledgments

The Must-Read Introduction

Chapter 1 The Early Years

Chapter 2 My First Sexual Penetration

Chapter 3 One Day a Virgin, Next Day a Virgin Teacher; Twins Anyone?

Chapter 4 Forbidden Sex That Would Change Me Forever!

Chapter 5 Starting the Habit of Cheating

Chapter 6 Sex, Taste of a Different Race

Chapter 7 I Thought White Was Right!

Chapter 8 Reproductive Sex

Chapter 9 From Boy to Man

Chapter 10 Lesson to Remember: Everybody Has Somebody!

Chapter 11 International Sex Beyond Borders

Chapter 12 The British Are Coming

Chapter 13 The Definition of a Cheating Man

Chapter 14 Get Mine, I’m Going to Get Yours!

Chapter 15 My Sweet Georgia Peach

Chapter 16 Life’s Lessons Keep Coming

About the Author

The Must-Read Introduction

Anatomy of a Cheater, the first book of a trilogy, outlines the struggles of a normal individual who found ways to overcome his average looks to master the art of females and female interaction. This book is by no means meant to be braggadocio or disrespectful to females, but a psychological journey into the mind of a man. It is a journey that interests us all, but if you are a woman, it also answers a lot of questions as to why you are blamed for infidelity, even when personal research shows it’s a much deeper-rooted issue within the participating male.

In life, the question of why men cheat, lie, or reach for multiple women has been explored since the beginning of modern-day relationships, but never has the process been dissected in a manner that looks back to the childhood development of an individual.

Book one of Anatomy of a Cheater covers the developmental years of conscious decision. A huge effort will be shown as to how a man thinks as he embarks upon each social and moral challenge in his life. It examines what decisions shape his life and how there is always a thought given to a feat long before the action is attempted. Are men truly like dogs, sniffing the tail of an unsuspecting female, or is the process much more calculated than first thought? What if you are not only told but directed through the process, and showed where the stages begin, and how the normal man thought along the way? Would you feel empowered to ask the right questions? What if you are shown that there is a large percentage of men who only pretend to be single, just to test the scope of who you are and what your moral fiber is truly made of before continuing to give you some type of title in their life?

Is this a book only for the female population? The answer to that question is a profound no! While this book is not a how to for men, it does serve as a how he did … and gives you insight into your own journey and change, if you so desire. For the writer, this book serves as a tell-all to redemption, a way of giving a look back into where conscious decisions became bad habits that plagued his mind and clouded his judgment. While entertaining, it’s groundbreaking for someone to open his mind, soul, and actions for all to draw a conclusion to his tactics. This book is meant to start the meaningful discussion process for couples who feel their journey might mirror this one.

Hurchel Williams, MBA, has been called several endearing terms in the fields of life coaching, relationship counseling, and therapy, where he uses the challenges in the lives of his clients to unlock their inner desire to be a better person. The Dr. Phil of the Internet and The Woman Whisperer are just a few terms used by his followers. He feels, by changing the individual, you affect the core of where a person wants to show their change to others.

Read this book with an open mind and an optimistic spirit, as we outline why Anatomy of a Cheater has a philosophy and direction all its own. This book starts from early childhood development and climbs the male ladder to a man who shares his expertise all over the globe through teaching, blogging, and a directed focus of change.

Chapter 1

The Early Years

To understand the anatomy of a cheater, one must first embrace the abnormal rationale of how men think. The answer usually dwells deep in one’s past. As a child, I always dreamed big, of success that would be so vast, I would become someone that everyone would admire. In my younger days, while there was discipline, there was a lack of accountability. My parents were so busy trying to provide for my siblings and me that I quietly became a huge dreamer, a dreamer who wanted to alter his future and prepare for tomorrow by watching others, hoping to mimic their success. People are repetitive with their daily activities.

I noticed very young that I had a sincere passion for females. Just the sheer presence of a girl made goose bumps appear all over my body. I remember at the tender age of five, I thought of my neighbor’s daughter as my girlfriend, so much so that one afternoon after kindergarten, Shelly and I were observed inappropriately touching one another while fully clothed, under her parents’ barbeque pit. We had no concept of what we were performing, because at that age and as far back as I could remember, I had never witnessed my parents sleeping in the same room, much less the same bed.

So at that gentle age of five, what was I doing? Was it just the instinct of a man, or was I creating the basis of a cheater who never saw the bad side of the opposite sex? As I write this book, I will continue to question where affection was infused in my life. If I never witnessed love as a child, did I supplement my void by catching up as a pre-teen, teen, and eventually as an adult? When I finally did receive affection, I enjoyed it so much that it became the basis of my belief system. It set the foundation for the way I would come to adore but control the women who entered and exited my life, with a pattern of frequency only rivaled by important leaders, actors, or sports figures.

How could I ever change the bad habits of a five-year-old? While I wasn’t cheating that early, I was developing a habit of feeling that would teach me how to embrace the conscious affection that is supplied by a woman. Throughout the next few years, I noticed that I was not only looking at girls; I was watching a certain type of female—one who took her time with her appearance and left home as a beautiful specimen. I looked at things like hair texture, eye depth, presence, and confidence.

One important factor I know I’ve carried through the years is the art of capturing the heart of someone whom the odds are against me having. Lord knows I relish a challenge! Even at age five, little Shelly was a sight to behold! In a funny way, all of the females I would come to love had the subtle features of Shelly from so many years ago. The woman I eventually wedded had the confidence of presence that little, five-year-old Shelly commanded in our kindergarten social setting. As a not-so-attractive youngster who became an average-looking man, I feel I always overachieved with my selection of women because of that challenge factor that always came into play!

It was the summer before our big move from one side of our neighborhood to another. I had just completed third grade, and I was ripe and ready for fourth grade. Sex wasn’t really on my mind at that age; however, all the male school kids—or the big boys, as we called them—talked about girls pleasurably. As a youngster, you picked up on bits and pieces of what was being said. At that age, I spent a majority of my time walking up and down Carpenter Street, where we lived, and at home doing what boys my age did most: nothing! Nonetheless, there was one pastime I had grown fond of: being baby-sat by Laura Easley. Mia, as those of us who knew her called her, was a pleasantly plump girl of about twelve or thirteen years of age.

When my parents were home, and often when they weren’t, Mia would come over to play or sit with me to pass the time. Although her front was to just play, Mia and I often were both curious and got a little frisky when alone. I was happy enough with getting what I did, because to me, we had a connection all our own. This playful pastime occurred several times during this particular summer, and it suited my needs far more than any camp ever could! I felt special and fulfilled every time I interacted with Mia, which, for the most part, happened at my house except for rare occasions when she was at her home in the absence of her mother and siblings.

It wasn’t until a few years later in high school that I realized I wasn’t the only one who enjoyed Laura Easley. I found out in a casual conversation with another youngster-turned-high-schooler that he too got his jollies from brushes with Mia. Somehow, even many years later, I still felt that her sharing herself with others affected my perception of women and offered an uneasy feeling about trust and private, unspoken commitment. This thought takes me to a significant key in my development as a cheater:

Key Point #1 - Oftentimes, feelings of distrust and one-sided commitment can have a profound effect on how men view all women’s association with us. Men may feel all women should be painted with the same brush because of feelings of resentment from our past, and we develop defenses against such actions.

This key represents my deep-rooted distrust of females because I felt so close to Mia. By my acknowledgement of her affiliation with another boy, I convinced myself there were more individuals who shared my sexual experience.

When I was in fourth grade, my love interest was Sophia Siller. Like Shelly, Sophia had definition and awareness of who she was. When I met her, I was the new kid on the block. I had recently transferred from Eastside Elementary School because my older siblings wanted to go back to the same atmosphere they left prior to us moving to our new neighborhood. So Shredwell Elementary was my new school. Loneliness was a key factor in making me seek comfort in someone I didn’t know, usually a female. In changing schools, I felt alone. With Sophia, I felt the same pattern all over again: looking for the soft face in the crowd that welcomed my arrival.

On day one at Shredwell Elementary, I was walked to Ms. Wade’s fourth-grade portable classroom. An exterior building used to house student classrooms because of overcrowding. After joining a new class, the first thing a boy of that age does is look around the room for a welcoming face to meet with his own. As I gazed around the room, I saw my classmates were quite diverse, but as I focused closely, my eyes locked on Sophia. She was a light-brown vision of beauty, someone I felt could really help me through the anxiety of joining a new group.

With a slight smile, our friendship began. At that age, you never truly have the guts to tell a young female exactly what your intentions are. For the purpose of this examination of my feelings, I felt my lack of true attention at home helped me reach out for someone to be a true friend. If I could examine that versus my very serious cheating years, I would say those days are the basis of what I would become.

At age nine, calling a girl on the telephone was completely unheard of, so I rushed to school each morning to catch a glimpse of Sophia. When we had a one-on-one conversation, I felt warm and comforted inside, as I do today when a bit of my soul is truly touched. I’m sure Ms. Siller never knew the effect she had on a boy her age, but trust me, I still feel her involvement deep inside me.

That’s the whole concept of the early years: the basis of who we are to become is deeply rooted within the interaction of females through the foundation years of our lives. These are the days when you spent countless hours playing, dreaming, and developing your ideas of how you perceive that life is revolving around you! I must note, however, there are often days when a young man’s confidence is shattered when he witnesses his female love interest enjoying the company of another man. This develops another key that stuck closely with me for years and is a part of who I am today.

Key Point #2 - A cheater’s direction for social involvement with a female can be driven by his sincere desire of never being alone.

What this means is, if I stock my cabinets with females, I will never be in danger of being alone. Remember how I felt when I found out Laura was keeping company with others? Well, by adding more female participants, that empty feeling of jealousy will never rear its ugly head, because there is always someone else to secure your time when female company is required. This key says you have a desire never to be without an option and may feel anxious to be with someone of the opposite sex during periods of solitude.

Key Point #3 - As a cheater, I always over achieved by setting my sights higher than my expectations.

As a fifth grader, I set my sights on Janet Person. Little Ms. Person was beautiful, had a confident presence, and always commanded the attention of the fifth-grade boys who desired her. While I indulged myself in idle chatter with the other boys, I never gave them my strategy of eventually luring Ms. Person to me. Most of the other boys failed because they had no plan of attack for little Ms. Person. Because they were so eager, young, and competitive, as fast as they approached her, she waved them off. Wallowing in their defeat, they all retreated like puppies with their tails between their legs. Enter Key Point #4.

Key Point #4 - As a cheater, and a male who desires the attention of multiple females, I always developed a plan to approach the opposite sex. By developing a plan, you will understand the angle it takes to clearly interact with the needs of your target female!

Even as a fifth grader, I was smart enough to know a plan was needed. Notice how I said an angle. This is an important factor to my theory, because all females have different angles. For the purpose of my life, an angle is what’s important enough to get you noticed. An angle is something near and dear to her that most guys miss. As a cheater, I always studied my subject, keying in on things she liked and staying away from things all the other boys tried (and eventually failed).

Even at ten, I hated rejection, which may also be considered defeat. So the secret to offsetting rejection was stacking the deck in your favor. This way of thinking takes the fast no from the female completely out of the equation. Remember, this female is usually out of your league. If you get Ms. Person, a few things will happen immediately. One, since you are not the most attractive male she has to choose from, all the other females will say to themselves, Hmmm, what is it she saw in him to allow them to be a couple (even in fifth grade)?

Believe it or not, females know when other females are beautiful. So if you conquer the first beautiful female, she often acts as your advertisement for the future. Two, you earn respect from the fifth-grade community of boys who failed in their attempts to have attractive, out-of-your-league Ms. Person!

So what was the outcome? Janet and I were two of the smartest students in fifth grade, both straight-A students. This became the commonality we shared, and since I had heard from other females that she was feeling me, my angle to her was academics. I asked her for her phone number, so we could relay and study spelling words, and the magic started there. After gaining her confidence by not discussing perverted boy stuff, we eventually became a couple—as much as our age would allow.

Patience was an additional key to my success, along with my angle to her. Some of the same concepts are present and used throughout my complex cheating life. To think, as early as fifth grade, the familiarity with females helped me develop into a cheater who understands women and their sincere desire to be understood!

As a young boy, I always desired contact with a female; however, boys lie and fantasize about their first sexual contact. It wasn’t until years later that I was actually able to understand the beauty of male-female interaction. So like most people my age, I lied and hyped up what others would say about my relationships of fifth and even sixth grade. One thing must be made completely clear and certain, as you will find in subsequent chapters: being dishonest about my sexual interaction with a female never happened again, for after I experienced the real touch of a woman through full contact, life was never the same! Boys chase that sweet nectar the way women seek true affection and the confirmation that what they provide in bed is actually being received and perceived as good sex!

Chapter 2

My First Sexual Penetration

During the next school year, my life was altered tremendously by my parents’ separation. I went from a magnet program junior high school in Memphis to a school in the suburbs that was near my grand-mama’s house. My dad was never truly involved with my schooling, so it was a change for all parties involved. After witnessing my father showing up at my old school in a plaid shirt and striped pants, it was definitely time for my dad’s attire and me to head for the country. It was time for a fresh start, and who knew this new school would hold the key to my first sexual penetration experience?

Shortly after arriving at my new school, I was walked to class to join my homeroom. As I was escorted to my seat, I felt completely out of place. These children weren’t as friendly as the ones at my last school, but there was one face that offered a secure smile to break the fear. Her name was Emma Sizemore, and from across the room, she forced a welcoming smile. As a boy, you are not truly settled at a new school until you garner the company of a female from your new environment. At age twelve, a boy’s hormones are raging out of control, and he seeks someone to harness this emotion. Emma was extremely quiet but offered friendship to the funny-looking boy who had just joined Mt. Pleasant Middle School. This brings us to the next significant key of a cheater.

Key Point #5 - In most first encounters, whether in a school, business, or social setting, a man knows instantly what his future intentions are for an unsuspecting female. Call it impulse, call it hormones, call it luck, but at the end, play your cards right, and you may call it sex!

Then it happened; something much more intense than a first kiss. It was a mental touch, but not administered by her. She allowed my mind to do the walking! This particular day, she wore a skirt, and like most boys my age, I was curious and as old people used to say, mannish! In art class, Emma and I sat at the same work table, and as the other students listened closely to the teacher’s instructions, I had my own set of ideas and rules. I had a smile inside that made me feel I had conquered yet another obstacle that was totally off limits to most. The funny thing about it was Emma and I completed this act with nonverbal communication, just fluttering eye motions, head nods, a series of smiles.

I sat in silence in class the rest of the day. I waited anxiously for an opportunity to meet her eyes, to give her the thumbs up for a mission well orchestrated. Finally, before the bell at day’s end, I was able to offer a huge smile her way that said with emotion and feeling that I was in total bliss! As I rode the bus home, not speaking to a single soul, I thought quietly to myself that this new environment had massive potential.

Emma and I went on to be really good friends but never reached another base in the game of mental stimulation. We were close and were always able to keep our secret of the new school welcome to ourselves. Was it luck or boyish precision? To this day, I still have no clue, but I do offer credit to Emma for bringing the new student a state of confidence.

How could I ever top what happened in the first week or so of my days at Mt. Pleasant? Well, there was another female who roamed those halls who would change my life forever. Only once in life can a man truly lose his virginity and step into the shadows of many men before him. In some cultures, male and female interaction symbolizes the coming of manhood, a journey that does not allow one to return to boyhood. However, after that feeling of orgasmic pleasure, what man ever wants to reverse the effects achieved by feeling the warmth, depth, and togetherness intercourse offers? Remember, the key of overachieving is setting your standards higher than expectations. Well, in the case of Olivia Shotwell, my key was screaming with fulfillment.

She was a thing of beauty and had a body all young men seek to stumble upon. At this stage in my life, I had never experienced intimacy, and I didn’t walk around pretending I was something I wasn’t. Although Olivia and I attended the same school, that’s not where our chance meeting occurred. Olivia and I lived across the street from one another. My father and Olivia’s grandfather were good friends, and when my father was visiting one day, I decided to ride across the street and kill some time.

Olivia was outside, playing and running around, looking extremely cute. I noticed her, though she was in eighth grade, and in those days, eighth graders made fun of younger students, so we never really mixed. During my visit, she invited me to get out of the car and play with her and the other kids out in the yard. We talked, watched horses, and chased lightning bugs until the wee hours of the evening.

Olivia and I became friends that day and both felt the natural attraction that was happening. She told me she had an older boyfriend, but things were ending because her parents didn’t approve. I knew she wasn’t lying, because rumor on the bus said she was one of the few people our age who had already engaged in sex. The boys found that fascinating, me included.

During the next few weeks, Olivia and I became inseparable, and rumors were already starting that she was my girlfriend. One evening, while visiting with her, we made it official and expressed to one another that we were now a couple. Since she was older, she laid out the rules. We could not talk to people of the opposite sex without divulging to them that we were already involved with someone. That was just fine with me because I felt totally privileged to become the object of her affection.

Olivia was bossy but beautiful. She had long hair, deep dark eyes, and the attention of most for being a no-nonsense female. Although she was shorter than most girls her age, she was aggressive, and she let you know she didn’t play. Olivia took on the controlling nature of her mother, Ms. Millie Fay, and was a country girl with an attitude!

Then like a child who graduates and walks the stage, it happened—an action so profound, I will never forget the raw emotion and fear I felt all at once! While I don’t remember the exact date, I do know it was a holiday from school, and all the children were home while the adults had to be at work. The night before, Olivia told me tomorrow would be a special day for us and wanted to know if I was ready. She asked me if I had ever experienced sex, and just like a small boy who feared being exposed, I told her I had been with girls and touched their most secret places. Of course I wanted to sound as if I had been there, done that!

With a swift but decisive tone, Olivia said, Okay, then tomorrow you and I will become a real couple!

All night long, I pondered what she meant by her tone and direction. I wanted to believe I was ready, but by her suggesting what was going to happen, I was afraid of failing because I never experienced the power of penetration.

Tomorrow finally came, and of course there were rules I would have to follow. Olivia called early, and just like always, I caught the phone before Grandma could hear it ring. It was about 7:30 a.m., and everyone in my house was already up and moving around. Grandma was an early riser, and I could smell breakfast on the table. Olivia told me to come over now because her little sisters were still asleep and her parents had already left for work. Boy was I excited, for today, I thought to myself, I become a man!

At that age, I had no concept of what a condom was, sorry to say, but the idea of protection never entered my mind. All I knew is the big boys talked about putting your hard dick inside and loving the feeling that followed. I hurried to eat breakfast and took my bike rambling down our long, winding driveway. I crossed the street and pulled up to the house, trying my best not to make too much noise.

As I approached the house, the door swung open, and there was my Olivia in a beautiful, girlish gown. Her hair was down, the way I liked it, and I could see her body through her cotton nightwear. She took my hand, put her finger to her lips as if to say be quiet, and led me to her bedroom. She was the oldest of three girls, so her room was opposite the other sleeping area. We walked into her room, she closed the door, and just like that, the magic began!

Olivia, standing there, completely blew my mind. As I stood there and glanced at her body, it felt as if time had stopped, and she posed for me. At last, my time had come.

I now think of a very important key, which later helped mold how I would address future sexual contact.

Key Point #6 - When inexperienced in the art of sex, women relish in the challenge of teaching you how they want to feel, act, and be treated during this special interaction of two becoming one!

With Olivia, my inexperience wasn’t an immediate issue, and she, even at thirteen, led with precision and knowledge of the situation. As our childish defiance continued for about ten minutes, my thoughts were doing something totally new. As I tried in every way to understand this feeling, my mind was engulfed with joy and excitement.

Afterward, she told me to go and call her when I made it home. Like a student, I obliged her and reached for a hug and a kiss. We exchanged pleasantries, and off I went a changed young man for life; for what I had received still to this day gives me pleasure.

Olivia and I talked about our experience the whole day, and I couldn’t get past asking when it would happen again. For days after this phenomenal event, Olivia was the center of my world. I truly believe she was my first love for years to come or at least for the upcoming summer. She finally asked me directly if what had happened was my first intimate experience. I told my girlfriend the truth, and she was elated to be my first. Olivia and I were inseparable for the entire school year, and the summer following would be no different. During the break between seventh and eighth grade, things were a bit confusing for a young man without full control