Oceans Apart

Chapter 1

The chill of the night air sent a shiver down Kate Armstrong’s spine. She was lost and standing in the middle of a dark, narrow alley. The foul stench of rotten garbage and urine made Kate nearly gag. She was confused and terrified. What was she doing in this frightening place? How did she get here? She had thought she was safe in her bed at home.

The streetlight above glowed a sick bronze and cast an eerie shadow across the walls, where the word whore glowed scarlet, its letters splintered by cracks in the concrete. A shiver ripped through Kate’s body, and she wrapped her arms across her chest to control the trembling. This place was hell—smothered in darkness, all hope erased.

She shifted her eyes to look for an escape and noticed a glimmer of light ahead of her. Bright and warm, it beckoned her. She had to reach it. She’d be safe in the light. She walked toward it quickly, desperate to be free of the overwhelming darkness of the alley, but with each step, the light slipped away. She broke into a run, but the distance between her and the light continued to spread. Then a deafening sound swept over her. She stopped to cover her ears, but her efforts failed as the sound vibrated through her like pulsing fury. In desperation she reached out to the light, but it vanished, leaving her surrounded by darkness again. She squinted to see, but everything around her was black. Kate’s heart pounded loudly against her chest, and her breathing became rapid. A cold hand gripped her shoulder. She froze. A familiar icy voice whispered, Did you miss me, Kate? as the hand turned her around. Her face was inches away from a man consumed by the darkness. Kate turned to run, but he caught her arm and shoved her to the cold pavement. The man’s foul breath permeated the air as he wrapped his hands tightly around her neck. She gasped and fought for her life, kicking with all her strength to get him off her.

Kate Armstrong’s eyes flew open. She was safe in her bed. Another night of nightmares of Haden Croener, her ex-boyfriend, who was more like the devil than a man. Would she ever be free of his torment? Haden had ripped her spirit to pieces, and she had since seldom experienced joy or laughter, and then only with effort.

She’d always been a vivid dreamer like her mother, Emily Armstrong, who had told Kate to not fear the dreams but to study them, as they were revelations about her emotional well-being. But her dreams since her last night with Haden had been only nightmares, and they kept her awake most nights, leaving her exhausted. What she wanted more than anything was to be free of the memory of Haden’s constant ridicule and of that horrific night when he had nearly ended her life. If she could only forget she’d ever met him.

Her eyelids were heavy and her vision blurry as she pushed the memory of her nightmare to the deepest corner of her mind and attempted to focus on the task of getting ready for work. After the restless night, the effort to move was difficult. She sat up, wrapped her arms around her knees, and stared at the tiger painting hanging above her dark walnut dresser. She gazed into the silvery blue eyes of the white Bengal and wished she possessed its strength so she could leap forward and forget. She hadn’t spoken about that last night with Haden to anyone, not even her sister, Chloressa, with whom she was very close, or Stacey Brown, her best friend at the office. Kate had kept the horrible secret to herself because if she didn’t, Haden would be charged with attempted murder, amongst other things, and be disbarred. Keeping quiet was her means of removing Haden from her life forever. The last thing she wanted was to have to relive the entire event in a courtroom. She relived it enough in her dreams. Someday, she thought, as she continued to stare at the tiger in the painting, she’d be strong, wilful and free of all the things Haden had done to her. But for now, she had to endure and do her utmost to live her life, which meant moving off the bed.

After her shower, Kate wrapped herself in a cream-coloured bath towel and then brushed her teeth and washed her face. She stared at herself in the mirror. Her blue-green eyes appeared dull, the sparkle that once shone in them gone. She applied her makeup, adding extra layers to hide the bags under her eyes. She dried her long, blonde, wavy hair, twisted it into a bun and secured it with bobby pins. She decided to wear pink lipstick to brighten her tired look, and when done, she took another look at herself and was satisfied with her appearance. She thought about work and how the articling students would be starting at the law firm the following week. She was grateful that Brian Milton, her boss, hadn’t chosen a student to report to him. Her workload was heavy enough without overseeing an articling student.

She glanced out the window that overlooked her backyard and enjoyed the streaks of sunlight that cascaded through the tall mayflower trees. Her lips curved upward. After four days of rain, the sunlight was a welcome gift.

Standing in front of her closet, she pulled out a black suit jacket and hose, and then a full-length flowing skirt with a subtle purple floral pattern and a purple camisole—bright colours that lifted her troubled spirits instead of black attire, which Haden had insisted upon. She grimaced at the memory of how Haden would mock even what she wore. Focus, Kate thought. Then she remembered with a slight smile that he was gone from her life. He’d never be able to hurt her again. All she had to do was find a way to rid him from her mind.

Kate returned to the task of getting dressed and opened the package of hose. Her heart sank when she saw that it was a size too small, but it was the only clean pair she had to wear. As she slid them on, she felt that they were snug around her legs, and as she pulled them up, they barely covered her stomach and sagged a bit in the crotch. The constriction evoked memories of the tight grip of Haden’s hands around her neck, and she thought seriously of ripping the hose off. Overcome with the feeling of being trapped, she sighed. For once, she would have liked to start her day without thoughts of her dark past. She frowned as she shivered from a cool breeze from the bedroom window, deciding it was better to suffer the day with the hose than to have nothing to cover her legs.

As Kate prepared to leave, she grabbed her full-length black coat—her favourite. It was light and smartly designed with a wide collar and tailored sleeves. The bodice was fitted at the waist, and then the skirt flared out to her ankles in soft folds, giving her the appearance of a well-dressed executive. She liked the illusion even though she was a legal assistant and not a full-fledged lawyer like her boss, a fact Haden had constantly reminded her of, as in his eyes, this had meant she was stupid and useless. She didn’t have a law degree like he did, so to him, she’d never amount to anything unless she had degrees plastered all over her wall. Haden had a number of degrees, but this never made him a better person.

Kate had gone to art college but hadn’t graduated, and she had always regretted it. Kate’s dream was to be an artist like Chloressa, who was now art director for one of the museums in the city. Despite how much she loved her sister, Kate had always been frustrated with not being accepted for who she was, as her instructors had always compared Chloressa’s work to her own. Her creative work was different from her sister’s: she specialized in painting landscapes and didn’t excel as her sister had in other areas. Kate was passing, which was all that mattered to her. In the end, her frustrations mounted, and Kate exploded, yelling at one of her instructors for not treating her fairly. She stomped out of the classroom and never returned. That was five years ago.

She was confident then that she was making a statement, but afterward she missed painting. It had been her passion. She had since thought numerous times of returning to art college, but Haden hadn’t considered art a respectable occupation, so she hadn’t pursued it. Now, her paintbrushes were locked away in her closet collecting dust. Someday she’d paint again, but she needed to get her life back. She needed to get back to what she was before she met Haden—a creative person who enjoyed laughter, socializing and traveling. A person who was determined, persistent and romantic. She hadn’t been herself since that night six months ago. What she really wanted was to look herself in the mirror and be pleased with her reflection, but all she saw was a woman who was lost.

She glanced up at the clock. It was six-thirty. She had fifteen minutes to reach the bus stop. She grabbed her purse, stepped outside and locked the front door. Kate breathed in the fresh, cool air as she eyed the bus stop two blocks away and across a major intersection. Her mood brightened, as she was able to cross the road right away and not wait the usual five minutes for the traffic lights to change.

Kate paused, taking pleasure in the warm touch of the sun on her cool cheeks. Spring would soon dominate the cold grasp of winter. She eagerly waited for the transition from days filled with darkness to days filled with light.

When the bus arrived, Kate found an aisle seat and settled in with her purse on her lap and her hands wrapped around it. The low humming of the engine soothed her. She became lost in it, embracing its hypnotic effect. Her eyelids became heavy, and she nodded off to sleep.

A muscle spasm jerked her awake. She’d been more tired than she realized and fallen deeply asleep. She blinked a few times to focus when a rattling caught her attention. It was an empty water bottle rolling up and down the aisle, banging against passengers’ feet. People looked down, but no one bothered to pick it up. They were lost in their own worlds like she was, Kate surmised. Some were busy texting, others were reading the newspaper, a woman behind her was complaining about unfair work schedules, a few were sleeping like she had been, a young man across from her bopped his head to music from his headphones, and the water bottle continued to roll, up and down the aisle, under seats, rattling without notice. As Kate rose to get off, she picked it up and threw it in the trashcan beside the bus driver, satisfied to have removed the nuisance.

When Kate entered the office, Stacey Brown waved to her. Stacey had dressed in a peach top, black slim skirt and dangling beaded earrings with her mousy brown hair tied up in a ponytail with loose strands surrounding her oval face. She reminded Kate of a free-spirited fashion model.

Good morning, Kate, Stacey said in an excited tone.

You’re cheery for a Monday morning, Kate commented flatly.

James and I had a wonderful weekend. Remember, I told you about friends back home from Nova Scotia staying the weekend? We played games, had a few too many bottles of wine, Stacey said with a giggle. How about you? Did you do anything?

Kate displayed a look of envy and instantly felt guilty. A joyful weekend was like the light in her dream—an escape she could never reach though was desperate to. She soon would, she thought, when Slade Curtis entered the office—well groomed as always. His chestnut-brown hair cut perfectly around his ears to show off his chiseled cheeks and dark-brown eyes. Kate’s smile vanished—he was a friend of Haden’s, had been aware of his cruelty and had done nothing about it.

Good morning, ladies, Slade said pleasantly as he walked by, a leather briefcase in one hand and his overcoat slumped over the other arm.

Kate’s eyes burned into his back. She didn’t utter a response, but Stacey returned the greeting in a cheerful tone. Kate didn’t expect anything less from her friend, as Slade was her boss. Stacey looked perplexed.

Kate. Stacey hesitated, twisting a ballpoint pen in her hand. I get the impression you don’t approve of Slade.

I don’t trust him. Kate stood rigidly as she swung her eyes to her friend.

He’s one of the best criminal lawyers in the city, Stacey replied.

Kate rolled her eyes. He used to be Haden’s friend.

"The key there is that he used to be. Stacey gently shoved Kate with her shoulder. It’s time to put our fingers to the keyboard and work. Later." She walked to her desk.

Kate turned and walked to her office, her mind still fixed on Slade. It didn’t matter that he had been Haden’s friend. What mattered was that he was still Haden’s friend after that horrifying night. Kate cringed at the thought and then stopped suddenly beside the door to her office, where Brian Milton, her boss, was waiting, the office lights gleaming off his shiny bald head.

What’s up? Kate said more firmly than she intended as she entered. Pulling out her office chair, she sat down, staring up at Brian’s six-foot-six frame.

Brian cocked an eyebrow. I have a proposal for you.

Oh? she commented skeptically, as the last time he had had a proposal to discuss, she had ended up planning a corporate retreat for the office and had worked twelve-hour days to keep up with her daily duties.

Brian furrowed his brow. I thought it would be a great idea for our office to coordinate the Legal Counsel Association’s lawyers’ dinner in two months. You’re an excellent organizer, so I volunteered you for the position. He paused. What do you think?

Kate crossed her arms. "That was thoughtful of you. I’m assuming I’ll receive a huge bonus for