90 Days: Ninety Poems of Love, Loss and Change
()
About this ebook
In 90 Days you will find poems that will make you laugh and cry, blush and dream. From speaking with angels and sailing the ocean with pirates to dancing until he is ready to drop, Pete Scamardella takes us on his journey through ninety days of sadness, growth and change. Sometimes one mistake can alter your view of the world in amazing ways. Why not look and see if you can find some of the thoughts and wishes you always wanted to say to a lover in his tales.
Peter Scamardella
Pete Scamardella has been writing poetry for over two decades. He finds inspiration for most of his poetry in his daily life but enjoys throwing in a bit of fantasy as well. He is a native New Yorker and is currently working on the screenplay for a horror story based in New York’s Greenwich Village. 90 Days is his first published work.
Related to 90 Days
Related ebooks
Tears, Torture, and Tomorrow Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMy Ex(s) Are Not Going To Like This One: In loving memory of my Exes, who may not be dead but probs wish they were now. Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSimply Put Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Fifth Journal: Book One of the Sons of Sanhedrin Series Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDistant Lover Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsClutching Bricks: Poetry Without Apologies Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings@McKinleyFreeman Vol. II: A Collection of Original Poems by McKinley Freeman Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Expressions of the Mind, Body, & Soul Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRaindrops in December Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsKaleidoscope - Colours Of The Heart: A Collection Of Poetry Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPoems, Rhymes & Real Heartfelt Stuff Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsShades of Love in Letters: To All Men in Uniform Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBlack Swan Speaks: Picking up the Pieces and Embracing My Treasure Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Selective Works of Emaild J. Henry Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPoems from all Sides of the Spectrum Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAfter This Comes Peace Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOrigin of the Heart Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCatching Feelings Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWeathering the Tempest: A Collection of Poems About Life, Love and Letting Go Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThis is How It Starts Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Masquerade & Daydreams Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFreeverse Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Woman Scorned … a Woman Rises: A Collection of Poetry Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAll In: All Out Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLove Turned Criminal Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsKaos in Control Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Many Faces of My Depression Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPOETIC THOUGHTS, EXPRESSIONS & CONVICTIONS: Look To The Brighter Side Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Silence Journey 2: Anonymously Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Leaves That Withered Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Poetry For You
The Way Forward Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Love Her Wild: Poems Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Beyond Thoughts: An Exploration Of Who We Are Beyond Our Minds Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Complete Poems of John Keats (with an Introduction by Robert Bridges) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Daily Stoic: A Daily Journal On Meditation, Stoicism, Wisdom and Philosophy to Improve Your Life Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Tao Te Ching: A New English Version Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Odyssey Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBedtime Stories for Grown-ups Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Inward Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Selected Poems Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Enough Rope: Poems Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dream Work Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Prophet Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Beowulf Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Road Not Taken and Other Poems Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5You Better Be Lightning Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Iliad: The Fitzgerald Translation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Edgar Allan Poe: The Complete Collection Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dante's Inferno: The Divine Comedy, Book One Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Leaves of Grass: 1855 Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Twenty love poems and a song of despair Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Odyssey: (The Stephen Mitchell Translation) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson (ReadOn Classics) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Complete Poems Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Divine Comedy: Inferno, Purgatory, and Paradise Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Divine Comedy: Inferno Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dante's Divine Comedy: Inferno Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Iliad: (The Stephen Mitchell Translation) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related categories
Reviews for 90 Days
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
90 Days - Peter Scamardella
© 2013 by Peter Scamardella. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
Published by AuthorHouse 3/07/2013
ISBN: 978-1-4817-2341-1 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4817-2340-4 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-4817-2339-8 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2013903788
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
All artworks are done by Jeffrey Lloyd Michels of LifeEnhancingArts.com
Author photo by Jeffrey Lloyd Michels, shirt design, Old Boots
by Shane Ruff of Shane Ruff Studio & Burlyshirts.com
All Items Used With Permission Of The Artists
Contents
Face In The Crowd
Just Shy Of A Day
For A Moment
Time
Blowoff
The Glue That Binds
Masseur
Micheladas On Ice
Hero
Tongue In Cheek, Tongue In Cheek
Voice Of An Angel
Connect With You
Break With Fate
Do You Feel Me Calling
Freedom and Loss
Pleading To Myself
Two Months Prior
The Wait
Holiday
Lullaby
Loss Of My Muse
Forgiveness
Smile
Blowoff 2
Seven Little Indians
Editor Of My Life
Watch And Learn
The Other Side Of The Coin
Why
The Silence
Strength In Your Arms
Ghost
Hold Me
A Walk Through The Seasons
Do You Think
Oblivion
Where Am I
Not My Life
When Darkness Craves the Light
What To Do After The Fall
More Than A Kiss
A Plea To Bacchino
Fade Away
Pride In The Details
Two Hours In Heaven
Harvest Moon
Weary
Moth To A Flame
From The Depths To The Heights
Wall Of Music
Inspiration
Just A Fly On The Wall
The Chill
A Toy Story
Give In To The Night
My Paradox
Sleep
The Last Centurion
Yesterday’s Child
A Little Help
The Eidetic Life
The Angel Of Mercy
Persistence Of Vision
Slaves To The Rhythm
Lost Among The Words
Shattered
Tension In The Air
To The Loneliest One
A Moment Too Late
A Change Over Time
A Wrinkle In Time
Someone To Hold
In The Blink Of An Eye
Responsibilities
The Dark Storm
Little Gods
Sense Of Confusion
The Simple Things
Spoons In A Drawer
Mental Block
Stutter
Old Age
Sense Of Purpose
Ice Magic
Anticipation
Blowoff 3
A Whisper
Karma’s Bitch
The Assassin’s Path
And The Winner Is… .
The Last Page
Dedication
This book is dedicated to my Dust Muffin. The man I love, who inspired me to change my life and made me happier than I ever thought would be possible. I am lucky to have had you in my life.
Prologue
This is where I tell you why you are taking the time to read 90 Days. Well, I suppose the best way to explain that is to start with a little bit of background. I’ve asked around and a number of people have a fantasy person that has been a part of their life for as long as they can remember. A face and personality made up from all the things that make them happy and help them feel safe and loved. That dream person is there when everything else sucks, and makes them feel good when nothing else will. What happened for me is I actually met and fell in love with my fantasy person. I had seen his face for decades in my mind and one day we actually met each other. Can you imagine my shock at seeing this handsome guy I fantasized about open his door and be standing there for real? It was like a scene from the 80’s movie Weird Science where two nerdy guys produce the perfect woman using a very old desktop computer and some hacking skills. His look and personality were everything I had ever imagined them to be. It was almost more than I could believe possible, but there he was.
Now as a gay man I never thought I would find the literal person of my dreams. For the longest time it was hard to just admit I loved men, so expecting to find him was not what you would normally expect. Years went by where I kept seeing a similar look on somebody’s face or a body or personality that reminded me of my fantasy guy. So of course that was as close as I ever thought I would be to actually meeting this person. But somehow one day we met and I was given the opportunity to be with the person who fueled every adult thought of my life. I truly was the luckiest person alive.
Of course if things were perfect I would not be where I am today and 90 Days would never have been written. I screwed up. I made a tremendous error in judgment and ended up losing him, which devastated me. I felt horrible and thought I would not be able to recover without doing something to relieve some of my pain over this loss. I also knew I needed to make the changes in my life I had discussed with him. In the short time we were together he influenced my life and guided me to grow and be more than I had ever thought possible. I couldn’t let all this simply fade away to dust. It was too incredible of a situation to simply let go by unnoticed and be forgotten. I decided to share my feelings and the amazing relationship that still makes me smile at the thought of it.
So I started to write and publish online daily poems expressing the feelings and experiences of our time together. I decided on writing ninety poems over ninety days. I gave myself one day to write each piece so I would not be over thinking the moments and changing the poems to match some preconceived idea as to what they should become. Yes, of course some of them are the whiny why me
type of poem due to my initial heartache, but as time went on I actually began to develop a style and to produce some pieces that were showing the natural progression of emotions as a person heals after a loss. Also, the feedback I received let me know that I was presenting ideas that many people felt and enjoyed reading in this form.
That is where the final inspiration for 90 Days came from. If people from different walks of life liked how I expressed these feelings of love and loss then maybe this was something I should share with a larger audience. It would be great to be able to help some lonely person know that what they are going through others have too; because it never feels that anyone can understand what you feel when you are going through it. Also, maybe people who haven’t dealt personally with anyone gay before will see that the emotions are the same whether they are for a man to a man, woman to a woman or man to a woman. I don’t think that gender matters when it comes to what you feel about who you love. Though my experiences are unique to me, the emotions behind them transcend my life and can be understood by anyone who has felt love and caring for another.
So that’s my tale and here is my labor of love and loss. I hope you enjoy my works. They express feelings that I hope will bring both a smile and tear to your day. I am very proud to have produced something that means so much to me to share with you in this way.
Sincerely,
Pete Scamardella
Face In The Crowd
At one time the love of your life would start out as a face in the crowd.
Beautiful eyes, or lips that made you melt before you even kissed them.
You might approach with a fiercely beating heart or wait for days before your courage built up to simply say hello.
Today, that same love could be a thousand miles away.
You fall for an image of those eyes, a close-up of those lips, accompanied by a quote or phrase that clicks
in your mind.
Your heart may still beat as fiercely, but the courage doesn’t need