Beautiful Black Women Don’T Need Stupid Black Men: They Need Beautiful Black Love

© Copyright 2012 Cornell Martin.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

Printed in the United States of America.

ISBN: 978-1-4669-4816-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4669-4818-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4669-4817-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012913063

Trafford rev. 07/28/2012

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Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Author’s Note

Foretroduction A Foreword and Introduction

PART 1 STUPID BLACK MEN

Chapter One Unfaithfulness and Betrayal

Chapter Two Physical and Mental Abusers

Chapter Three Mind and Emotion Manipulators

Chapter Four Relationship Parasites

Chapter Five Jealous Black Men in Relationships

Chapter Six Desertion of the Black Mother and Child

Chapter Seven Distorted Perceptions of Beauty

Chapter Eight Stupid Black Men’s Corruption of Beautiful Black Women

Chapter Nine Black Men’s Inconsiderate Neglect of Black Women

PART 2 BEAUTIFUL BLACK LOVE

Chapter Ten Beautiful Black Love Acceptance

Chapter Eleven The Loving Nature of the Black Woman

Chapter Twelve Ugly Black Hate

Love Letter to the Beautiful Black Woman—A Lyric Poem

About the Author

Contact the Author

Beautiful Black Woman, my flower, my sky

My power is nothing without you

By my side

My spirit, my soul, my feelings

Inside

Should never be the cause

Of the tears that you cry

Hurt you—never

Sorry, if I ever did

Three words but eight letters

I Love You

That’s what this is

Stupid—I once was

Black Love—I now chase

I’m not afraid of transparent liquid

Running down my face

I cry for you, would die for you

Your hand inside of my hand

Is similar to the sands

Of the earth traversed by man

Our love grains will never separate, never scatter

In my world, believe me

You’re the only thing that matters

Cornell Martin

Ode of Black Love

Dedication

For Every Black Woman who is or has ever been fed up

with the stupid shit that so many Black Men do.

Each of you has a piece of my heart.

Cherish it like I cherish you.

This book is for you.

I love you!

Acknowledgements

God: None of this would be possible without you. Thanks for manipulating the events that caused my earthly father’s seed to take root in my mother’s womb. Thanks for all of the pain you have allowed me to experience on this material plane. If I could, I would not change a thing. You made me who I am, and I could never love another without loving you first!

My Publisher: For giving me the opportunity to creatively express myself by way of autonomous self-expression. You are doing a great service to humanity, and I will continue doing business with you one way or another for as long as God wills. We have not even scratched the surface of the kind of success that I envision. In time, you will see that my loyalty to you is unparalleled.

Shandreka and Eddison: For believing in me and supporting me throughout the years. Your love is obviously contagious, because love is all I feel when I either think of you or am in your presence. All I see is Beautiful Black Love when I look at you two love birds! Whenever I meet Mrs. Right, I want our love to be as potent as yours.

All of my nieces and nephews: I pray that you all find true love when you grow up. Sometimes the pathway to love is rocky, and sometimes it is smooth. If the former is more intense than the latter, then avoid that kind of love, because you do not need it. But if the latter is more intense than the former, then that is the kind of love I deem beautiful. Always seek beautiful love, and your lives will be joyously fulfilling.

Wendy Raquel Robinson: For being so damn down for your man! I respect you more than words can explain. He is so blessed to have you! Know that I will always consider you a goddess of the utmost quality. Your love for him inspires me.

Kerry Washington: From Standard Deviant’s ¿Habla Espanol? Learning Spanish: The Basics until now, you have never ceased to amaze me. Your innate thirst for Beautiful Black Love has been of great interest to both my soul and me. I wish that I could tickle your heart with a flower of love. No hay nada en este mundo que Usted no merece. Espero que lo encuentra el amor verdadero. Truly, you are worthy of nothing less!

Vivica A. Fox: Most men misunderstand you, which is, for the most part, the primary reason why the true love you seek currently eludes you. Like so many dudes have told me that they respect my gangsta, I respect your goddess. If ever our paths cross, I believe we will both experience emotional fireworks. Keep searching for that love, girl! And when you find it, hold on to it.

Elise Neal: For being so damn strong. Heartbreak could never crush you! You are too real for most men. I know that you crave Beautiful Black Love, because I see it in your eyes, oozing from your soul. Do not let the stupidity of some men cause you to question all of us. True love will find its way to your doorstep. And, when it does, all of the pain you have ever experienced will fade away. Believe it!

Meagan Good: You are too good to go bad, so keep love on your mind and in your heart. If you do that, your earthly experience will be enhanced tenfold. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You are more beautiful inside than out!

Sharon Briggs: You are the quintessential example of a woman who is dedicated to spreading Beautiful Black Love to everyone you encounter. Clarence would be so proud of you! Keep caring and sharing. It is truly an honor to call you my friend!

All of Malcolm X’s Daughters: You have inherited the strength of both your mother and father, so you deserve the same Beautiful Black Love they shared with each other. I have all of you close to my heart.

Every Black Woman I Have Ever Hurt: Forgive me for being stupid. I deserve all of the misfortune that came my way as a result of me hurting you. Do not allow my past actions to cause you to mess over your man. He is not the man I once was. If ever I see you again, I will embrace you with nothing but love—if you allow me to.

Every Black Man who has Transcended Black Male Stupidity: The road to wisdom has been a long one, especially for those of us who have had to acquire wisdom on our own. Cherish your Beautiful Black Woman. She needs you, and you need her. Only when the two of you unite in love will mountains be moved.

All of my Haters: For being the fuel that adds velocity to the vehicle I am driving toward success. I appreciate all of the inspiration. I could never fail in your presence. Thanks for being an integral part of my life experience, as well as an essential part of my drive and determination. I see you today but will forget you tomorrow!

April Freeman: For believing in me, supporting me, and staying true and real since day one. It is because of you that you have this published book in your hands right now, so I thank you. You are absolutely the most amazing friend! Always know and remember that you will have a loyal friend in me for all eternity. We will take our friendship to the grave and continue to enjoy it in the afterlife. Believe it!

Author’s Note

Although I have written this book primarily for Black Women, it is also for Black Men. Weak Black Men will view it as a slight to their characters, but those who are strong will understand that this work is nothing of the sort. All I have to say about this is, It is what it is. In addition, some readers may misinterpret the title and assume that I believe all Black Men are stupid. Others may assume that I oppose interracial relationships. Both of these assumptions are false. Like all men, when it comes to male-female relationships, many Black Men do stupid things. And love is not confined by race. However, I do believe that there is something special and otherwordly about true love shared by Black couples. Hence, the title. But this book’s contents are open to all. If you truly want to understand exactly what this book is about, read the section entitled Foretroduction: A Foreword and Introduction before delving into the following chapters. Enjoy!

Throughout this book, in example anecdotes, the real names of all persons mentioned have been changed to protect the true identities of the people upon which said anecdotes are based. Any resemblance to other persons is thus purely coincidental.

Additional Note: Throughout this work, you will notice the capitalization of the first letter in words that do not usually begin with capitalized letters. You will also notice the repetition of certain acronyms. These letters are capitalized because such capitalization is a representation of cultural pride in the African-American community, and acronym repetition is an integral part of this book’s overall message. The author urges the reader to memorize the following three terms and their acronyms: Stupid Black Man or Stupid Black Men (SBM), Beautiful Black Love (BBL), and Black Male Stupidity (BMS). And the five primary words or terms that are indicative of cultural pride are Black, Black Man, Black Woman, Beautiful Black Man, and Beautiful Black Woman.

Foretroduction

A Foreword and Introduction

When I look back at my life from my current vantage point, I tend to regard my old self with shameful nods. In my youth, I was so stupid in the world of relationships! At that time, in my mind, to cherish a woman was to be weak. So I followed the popular trend and became a player. Little did I know that the only person I ended up playing was I. Eventually, all of the games came back to haunt me. And, for many years afterward, my relationships did not last. I was a Stupid Black Man who knew absolutely nothing about Beautiful Black Love (BBL) and my Beautiful Black Women—and then things changed.

In 2002, due to my then rebellious lifestyle and association with certain others, I was incarcerated for armed robbery. In October of that year, in the city of New Orleans, Louisiana, I was convicted and sentenced to 15 years of hard labor, without the possibility of probation or parole. One by one, after hearing that I would have to do at least eighty-five percent of my sentence before seeing the streets again, the women I were with at the time began walking out of my life. Therefore, there I was, lonely, in a cell—just me, myself, and I. All of my so-called comrades also jumped ship on me. The same was true regarding many members of my family. I was bitter and angry and did most of my time on lockdown for causing trouble. In 2003, I was transferred upstate to another prison, where I eventually ended up on lockdown again. And, a few years later, just when I was about to give in to my inner beast and say, Fuck everything and everybody, God sent a Beautiful Black Woman into my life to get my mind right. This woman was Shandreka—my beautiful big sister.

Shan and I had not talked in quite some time. Before my incarceration, while I was out roaming the streets, she was out traversing the University of New Orleans’ college campus, focusing on her future. While I was rotting in a cell, she was making a life for herself. She was highly enthusiastic, focused, happy, and in love. Instead of rejecting me, she wrote to me out of the blue and embraced me with nothing but love and affection, which felt so good to me. Her love made me reconsider everything I believed. We must have written each other a million letters. She would always stop by the prison to visit me (even after she moved to Georgia) when her hubby and her were in town. And, because we look so much alike, every time I looked at her, I would see myself sitting in front of me. I wanted to be like her. I wanted to have that enthusiasm, that focus, that happiness, that love. And that is when I made a conscious decision to follow in the footsteps of a Beautiful Black Woman.

Shortly after this, I stopped getting into trouble, got out of lockdown and, in 2007, was transferred to another prison, where I began to educate myself and take advantage of all the positive opportunities provided to me. I enrolled in school a few days after my arrival at this new penal complex. Four and a half months later, after passing the GED test, I was awarded a General Equivalency Diploma. Then I enrolled in a nearby, accredited community college by way of a grant-backed college program at the prison. I later graduated with an Associate degree in General Studies with a concentration