My Road to Recovery: Back and Forth over and Over
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Never look at how far you have to go and let it discourage you. Always look at how far you have come and be encouraged to stay persistent and patient until you reach your goal.
Always remember obstacles are opportunities that will make us strong in the Lord. Mistakes should be looked at as experience that we can use to reach the heights the Lord purposed.
Bill Graybeal
It Was For A Purpose On May 13, 2006 I had a heart attack that was suppose to take my life. Even if I did survive I would be like a vegetable as what my family told. It would have been an end to a very defeated life in the purpose the Lord had for me. The devil meant it to take me out defeated in the purpose the Lord bad for me. The Lord has used it to take me in to the purpose and plans He has for my life. It has taken me from very negative attitudes, positions and postures in the things the Lord had for me to do. To a very persistent person in attitudes, positions and postures in what the Lord has for me to do. Yes the heart attack happened to me and it is a great testimony of what the Lord can do. But I have found it was also a set up to position me and prepare me for the things the Lord has for me to do. It is not all about what the Lord is taking us through it’s all about the purpose the Lord is Taking us to. What the Lord has taken me through has so positioned me for what God has for me to do. Your attitude always determines the altitude you go in your purpose. Your position always determines your condition in the purpose the Lord has for you. It’s All In The Attitude
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My Road to Recovery - Bill Graybeal
© 2012 Bill Graybeal. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
Published by AuthorHouse 12/3/2012
ISBN: 978-1-4772-9524-3 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4772-9523-6 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2012922583
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,
and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
Contents
Back And Forth
I Am Not Going To Lose This Time
Be Bold And Aggressive
Everything
Every Where The Soles Of You Feet Shall Tread
If God Be For You
One Step Farther Than Yesterday
The Message In The Mess
I Am Not Strong Enough Yet
Persistence And Patience
But I Don’t Feel Like It
It Is Not About Where You Are
I Have Limitations They Don’t Have Me
Thanks I Needed That
It’s Up To You
It Was Still In Me
Don’t Be Discouraged By Small Victories
Keep Trying Until You Don’t Have To Try Anymore
Nuclear Stress Test
Breakthrough
Patience Is Developed Through Pressure
According To Your Faith
Have Faith In Yourself
If Any Two Agree
To Agree With
Think Like It’s Going To Happen
All Thing Work For Your Good
The Challenge Triggers The Power
The Steps Of A Good Man
The Lord Has It Covered
Enthusiasm
Some Final Encouragement
Forward
On May 13, 2006 I had a massive heart attack in the emergency room of the local hospital. The doctors shocked me sixteen times to get my heart started. I was not serving the Lord and was bound in a porn and sex addiction. The addiction had my life in a mess. I was in bad financial condition because of the money I was spending on the addictions.
I was in intensive care in a coma on life support. They told my family to expect me to be in a vegetative state if I woke up. In reality they had no expectations that I would live. Around the 16th day of the coma they came and told my family it was time to give up and take me off of it. My family would not agree they were believing for a miracle. According to my wife within the next few days I started moving and opened my eyes slightly. She told the doctors this when they came in to check on me. She said they gave me a few commands to see how I would respond. I was told I responded to everything .
A day or so later I woke up to my wife asking me if I knew who she was. I am thinking why are you asking me that? Of course, I know who you are. So much for the vegetative state they were expecting.
It has been six years, and I am still recovering things I lost because of it. My brain was not getting proper oxygen during the coma, so I have brain damage in the area of memory and concentration. This made it, so I had to retire and go on disability. According to the doctors’ evaluation, I am considered to have a greater than 70% mental disability.
This book talks about the physical part of my recovery. It shows how I used the power of positive thinking saying and then doing to overcome the difficulties I was facing. I was raised in a positive encouraging Christian home. My parents made sure I was raised in church. They made sure I was taught the Word, whether I liked it or not. In spite of the environment, I was raised in I had a negative attitude about myself. They never gave up on feeding me positive and encouraging words. This book shows how I quit using the negative attitudes.
The idea behind this book came from all the back and forth over and over, I had to do during recovery. The devil tried so hard to use it against me. I will show you how I used it for my good to make me stronger in all areas of my life as time went on.
I have a lot of fun when I write. This book was a lot more fun than the others because it is more about the physical part of recovery. It was written when I was going through the hard times it talks about. I thought it would be a lot more fun to write about how much fun I was having instead of how strenuous it was at the time.
My parents raised me to become a minister. Instead I became a sex and porn addict. It looks like all of that praying did not work. Read my books and tell me if you still think I did not become what they prayed I would.
At the time of the heart attack they put a pacemaker in. They last about six years so recently I had to get a new one. When I went in to talk to the Dr. about what to expect I met the doctor who was there when I had the heart attack. About a third of the appointment was spent telling me what to expect the next day. The other two-thirds he was telling me how lucky I was. He told me that only ten percent of the people that have a heart attack as bad as mine survive. Of that a small percentage are not in a vegetative state of mind.
I know my parents prayers saved my life. I can remember my momma looking at me square in the face and telling me I would not go to hell because she was putting prayers in place to prevent it. I am not lucky. I had a praying momma.
Another thing I heard often after the heart attack was God is not through with you yet. I know this is true, and I am going to show you that in spite of everything I am going to take back everything and will become everything the Lord originally intended for my life. I don’t care how hard it is. In my book that is what makes it so much fun.
Acknowledgements
I could not resist giving the devil credit for helping me recover. His big mouth has given me the drive I needed. I enjoyed him telling me the reasons I was not getting anywhere. A wanta bet watch me attitude was my best friend during these times.
I want to thank my parents and all the wonderful ladies who taught me the things of God. When I was young, I was called a momma’s boy because I ran to momma when I was in trouble. That hurt at the time and I spent a lot of time crying because of it. When I was running to her she was teaching me the attitudes I write about in my books. Now when people call me a momma’s boy I say; I sure am and I am proud of it.
When mom died, I was eighteen. The Lord brought other ladies who took her place as my teachers. My step aunt, her mom and my step mom are all people that I have to thank. If it was not for them and what they taught me I would not be able to write the things I do. Thank you.
I had a wonderful dad also. I have to thank him for the great work ethic I have. The proudest times of my life have been when people tell me I am a hard worker. I heard that said to my dad all the time. When people say that about me, I think to myself I do it like dad did it.
I thank God for my Christian home all the time.
Back And Forth
I was told the way I was going to recover my memory was by doing things