Journal of Jethro: A Spirit's Journal of Day to Day Events

Chapter 1

AS IT WAS

I never felt I belonged on this planet. I did not understand wars, killings and greed. I wanted to find my spiritual origin and felt my spirit had come from a different place, maybe a different solar system, but I could not figure out how it got here or how long it’s been here. I soon realized others had similar beliefs and thought we might be kindred spirits. Yet other groups of spirits I felt I had nothing in common with, and thought they might have migrated here from another area of the universe.

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Growing up in Ohio I tried to find the word love in my childhood vocabulary, but each time the words obedience and responsibility stood out as the two traits instilled in me, my brothers and sisters. I was responsible for certain chores around the farm. One was milking the cows morning and night for years until I left for college.

Our family went to church every Sunday and holy day. During lent each evening we knelt to pray the rosary. We took turns leading in the prayers, but I think it was to make sure none of us fell asleep.

I remember being in the confessional at church making up lies to tell the priest so I would have something to say. I did not want him to think I was not a sinner. The only possible sins I could think of were disobeying my parents, so I would say that I disobeyed my Mother ten times and my Father fifteen times. Surely every two weeks I must have disobeyed them that many times. To this day I don’t know how else a child could sin.

By the time I was thirty-seven I had completed college, served in the Navy, and was successful in business. I purchased the most expensive house in the neighborhood, put in a pool, and bought all new furniture. I had a sports car and a convertible in the garage. Had I continued on in that direction I am sure I would have become a wealthy individual. I had accomplished my childhood dreams and was losing my enthusiasm for making money.

Finding true love was a different matter. It seemed to escape me. I thought it was something physical.

One day a friend gave me a book on eastern religions. I read it, more like devoured it. In a few months I had read every book on eastern religions I could get my hands on.

I did not join an eastern religion, but the insights were like remembering things long forgotten. I realized the material possessions surrounding me had no value. Without the wonderful feelings received from caring for people or being cared for, life itself had lost its meaning.

I decided I would move to Florida, cold weather bothered me. I made arrangements to turn my business over to my brother, put my house on the market, and set out for the west coast to visit family. While driving through Denver I noticed how beautifully clear the sky was. I could see a hundred miles. As I approached the city I saw every ridge and shadow in the mountains. The snow caps were breathtaking. Florida would have to wait. I moved to Denver.

I spent the summer taking trips to various parts of the Rockies. The air was so fresh I couldn’t seem to get enough. There was no need for air conditioning. Almost every night mountain breezes cooled the city.

I bought a business, but it became boring so I sold it and became a real estate agent. I liked the character and charm of older homes. I remember telling someone I wished I could live in a different house every week.

The real estate market was hot. The oil boom brought many people to Denver looking for work. Homes sold quickly and prices rose higher every month. Everyone was making money. I bought several homes renting them out for less than my payment expecting the values to increase until rents would cover my expenses. My net worth was increasing rapidly.

In 1984 the oil boom crashed and people left Denver looking for work. Property values dropped and rents went with them. Four years later my loans were more than my properties were worth.

In the spring of 1987 I attended two seminars on personal development, learning to meditate and communicate on a more personal level. My real estate sales improved dramatically following the seminars.

October that year my company called an emergency meeting and announced they were going bankrupt. I had no idea sales were bad. My sales stopped immediately as though someone had pulled the plug. Every day in the office the only thing I heard was how bad the economy was. The office was eventually shut down but the pain of having no sales lasted over six months.

By that time my savings had dried up, my rental income no longer covered the debt service and my charge cards were maxed out. After having ten good years of real estate sales my equity and cash flow disappeared. I tried to sell my properties but could not. Even if I did I would have had to pay the government a lot in taxes, money that I did not have.

I was forced to see a bankruptcy attorney. I had concealed my finances quite well. No one knew my financial condition, but inwardly I felt a mess. At any moment and for no apparent reason I would burst into tears. Anxiety was overwhelming. Not being able to be responsible for the payment of debt I had incurred was draining the life out of me. I knew what I had to do. The moment I made my decision the weight lifted from my shoulders.

After working hard all my life and paying my bills on time I was now fifty years old and broke. I had no charge cards, could not get credit or borrow money to get by on. After all I was one of those deadbeats who needed to be punished for ten years before he could remove the stain of bankruptcy from his record.

I was angry with the government for creating such an economical mess. Every month the prices of new foreclosed homes would drop to ensure they were the cheapest on the market which would cause others to go into foreclosure. Thousands of foreclosures occurred in the metro area before the economy improved.

I had finally succeeded in ridding myself of those material possessions I thought had no meaning. Amazing how I lost what I told myself had no meaning. Fortunately I had several good friends who stuck by me giving me moral support and encouragement.

I decided to record my thoughts on tape as a way to vent my feelings. I had an old tape recorder with an on/off switch attached to a microphone. It worked fine. The first few tapes were filled with anger at everyone and everything. After a while my anger subsided and I started hearing an inner voice.

This went on for some time before I ran out of material to talk about, but I had recorded thirty-five ninety minute tapes. It was great therapy for me. My sales improved during that time and I had discovered a lot about myself.

I was fortunate that I took the seminars when I did. They taught me how to create a safe, peaceful place to go to meditate, and how to get in touch with my inner self. They also taught me how to communicate with other humans and spirits telepathically

In meditation I found out I could go deeper and deeper, and at different levels bring forth unusual information. Then I discovered several methods of meditating—shamanic, yogic, primal (rebirthing), relaxation, and a method of going to my private place. Each meditation had its own benefits. Listening to my tapes I became aware that it wasn’t the physical me that did the talking.

There were times when I was able to put my subconscious thoughts on tape, my deepest feelings and thoughts about problems I had. Another part of me started to talk to me, and I became the second person. That is when I realized my divine being could tell me about me and about the universe. I could have open dialogue between my physical self and my divine self.

I went beyond my higher self to the universe to pull up information from divine intelligence. I tapped into other planes when problems I was facing could only be answered on those planes. Many happenings I could not fit into a language form. I would receive images that were complete within themselves, and describing them would take a long time. It was like seeing a photograph telling the story behind it, and having it completely animated. Sometimes I had no words to explain what I experienced.

On many levels I did not know whether the Devil was on the right side or the wrong side, and whether good or bad was the Devil’s work. Later I realized that the good and the bad were one. It was just a different side of the same coin.

On January 1, l989 I made a resolution to meditate regularly one hour every day. I kept that resolution and faithfully spent an hour each morning meditating before I went to the office. Some days I came home early and would meditate a second hour. I had begun a spiritual journey.

In May I met a psychic, a woman I will call Alice. We were on the same journey and became good friends. One day she suggested we start a meditation group. It sounded exciting, just what I needed. We met every week for several years.

Alice was a good teacher. I learned quickly and we soon found ourselves in other dimensions learning about the spirit world, vibration, and energy. We recorded many of those journeys.

In l991 I started a journal. I felt it was the best way to remember my experiences. Continuing to meditate I realized I was a spirit seeing life through the eyes of a physical being, guiding that physical being from a higher level. Every day was joyful, and I wanted others to know how to live from spirit. For the first time I found love, unconditional love. I had found it within me.

Chapter 2

ENTER MARY AND JOHN

O ne of the things that always intrigued me was where I came from, what my origin was, and how I developed. When I started my journal these were the first questions I wanted answered. Much of my evolution was based on Biblical events, and it was no wonder the spirit figures were found in the Bible.

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1/20/1991—I wanted to find out who I gave my power to and to understand psychic power. In meditation I approached the top of the volcano. I asked my guides to assist me. I peered down into the volcano and then took a leap off the edge. As I was falling I could feel myself turning into an eagle and I began to soar downward into the valley below.

When I landed I was a boy about fifteen years old. I had outgrown my clothes and my arms and legs stuck way out of the ends. I was playing in the stream trying to catch a fish in the water. The area was nice and green, and I enjoyed playing. I befriended a Roman boy who lived in the city, and he has asked me to join them in military training. My parents have urged me to join as they felt it would give me a secure position with the Romans.

I am now seventeen, tall and gangling in stature, quick witted, but awkward and the brunt of jokes because of my religion. I have few friends and am not the best gladiator by any means. I feel I am used to strengthen the better ones. Many times I am bruised and cut by their swords. I have one friend named Thomas who is bigger than me who took advantage of me, which I allowed. I tolerated him for lack of other friends. There is a girl I like, but she is Roman and I am not allowed to be with her. She has been very kind to me. We met at the well.

I asked myself the questions about power, and why I had given my power to Thomas, allowing him to bully me. I felt that it was because I was weaker and Jewish. The answer came from my divine self.

"Physical power and psychic power are not the same. Whether you are weak or strong, it has no bearing on psychic power. In times of physical weakness you can still maintain psychic power. Psychic power is an agreement you make with yourself that you hold yourself in oneness with ALL THAT IS. You lose psychic power by going into separation. The most a physically stronger person can do is take your body. They cannot take your soul unless you give them permission.

When you separate from the oneness you go into fear. In fear your psychic power diminishes. When you lose psychic power you become physically weak because you lose life force. By totally trusting in the oneness of all no matter what happens, you will not lose your psychic power.

I continued to meditate on other events when I had gone into separation, and how I could have changed those events. I noticed how rapidly I lost psychic power when I became angry, and how it would take me several days to recoup physically.

At that moment the phone rang. I forgot to take it off the hook before I began my meditation. I counted to five and answered the phone. The past life I observed took place in Judea a few years before Jesus was born.

3/13/1991—I awoke afraid to open my eyes for fear I would forget the dream. I reached onto the night stand for my recorder and began to describe it.

I was playing near the well. A woman was sitting on the bench feeding bread crumbs to the birds. They were fluttering around, and one landed on her arm.

She looked at me, and in a gentle voice said, Would you like to hold the bird?

As a child I nodded and timidly went to her. I reached out my hand and the bird flew away.

She laughed, One day, Jethro, all life will lie in your hand and at your feet.

The dream ended, and daylight was coming through the windows. I had an early appointment. In the shower I began to analyze the dream. Who was the woman, and why did she call me Jethro? Allowing the warm water to soothe my body I closed my eyes asking myself, Who was this woman?

A sensation came from under my right shoulder blade. As it moved to the front of me a voice said, I am Mary.

Then the scene at the well and the surroundings became familiar. This dream was the remembrance of a past life. I thought, the Mother of Jesus. My whole body shook with emotion. You are so firmly connected to my body that you can’t possibly be the mother of Jesus. I have felt your energy pattern all my life. Why are you just now making yourself known?

I was your Mother in another lifetime. I was also the Mother of Jesus and in that lifetime you were born of another woman. Since the beginning of my physical lives I bore five son vibrations, not all at the same time, but five different personalities. Because I beget your vibration I am ingrained in you, and am a part of you even though you were not born to me in that lifetime.

Do you mean I owe my physical existence to you, I thought?

Yes, the energy that gave your spirit form was from me.

The water was turning cold, but I did not want to lose the moment. As I soaped down I asked, If you are my energy source, then who is my father? I did not have to wait for the answer.

Energy shot up from the base of my spine and another voice answered, I am.

I did not understand. I knew the voice was not Mary or from the same part of my body. I always thought guides came from the ethers. These voices were coming from inside of me, and I knew they had always been with me.

What may I call you, I asked?

You may call me John.

What connection do I have to you?

I am the source of your soul. I gave your soul life and breath.

Something’s fishy, souls don’t breathe. Then I knew what he meant. When my soul essence was created all that was John had its imprint on my soul. I could now access information through my soul to his beginning and his creator’s beginning. Feelings of joy came over me. I felt so humble and yet so important to life.

The water was now cold. I turned off the faucet, and stepped out of the shower. With gratitude I thanked Mary and John for making them known.

All day I wondered about what Mary said to me. Jethro, someday all life will lie at your feet.

3/20/1991—It was the first day of spring, and a powerful time for meditating. I had chest congestion since December. For three months I tasted salt when I coughed up phlegm. In December my friend Judy, who was suffering from a chest and sinus infection came to visit me. Greeting her I empathized with her affliction. She quickly got well and I came down with her symptoms. I processed and meditated on all issues I could conceive, but to no avail.

Alice and I went to a mountain park to hike and to get centered. We also wanted to visit the spirit home of the Wise One,