Life and Inspirational Poetry: Ii
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About this ebook
John Crawford
John C. Crawford is a former trustee of the Chartered Institute of Library and Information Professionals. John is also the former director of the Scottish Information Literacy Project, and has published extensively in librarianship and history. He holds BA, MA, PhD, FCLIP and FSA (Scot) qualifications.
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Life and Inspirational Poetry - John Crawford
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One of my largest and most hurtful failures for me is not being there as a father to my son, that i have never seen face to face. You see it was a blessing when my wife became pregnant with him. As far as i knew i could never have kids due to a childhood injury. But because of my addiction and selfishness steming from not dealing with my past sooner that i did, i never got to see him being born. I never seen him crawl for the first time nor did i get to hear his first words, hell i don’t even know what they were. And now because i never spoke to a lawyer to find out my options or rights, the courts took my parental rights away from me. I admit that at the time Cody was born and most of his childhood i was high in some form or other and i didn’t know what i could do to get custody, so i let my son go to the state of Virginia C.P.S. I have been told that my son was adopted out to a caring family, which is good. But at the same time it also means that i have to wait until he is old enough and if he wants to, then i can finally see my son for the first time ever. But there again that is all depending on whether or not i live that long. Inside i am being ripped apart because this is what i have to deal with for the first time while i am clean and sober. While i was high i didn’t have to think about the price of my addiction, now i do. And i can say this’ it hurts like a m_____f___er. So much so that i want to go back to using. Knowing that MY son is out there and that i can’t be there as he grows up. I’ve already missed too much of his life, now i find out that i won’t be there when he gets his first girlfriend, his first car, his prom, and everything else in between. Doing drugs and alcohol were definately not worth the price of getting the chance to be a father to my son. I wish that i could re-do it all but i can’t. I am not looking for pity, I just want you to know one of the possible prices that you could pay if you follow the path that i did. Getting high isn’t worth the cost in no way.
John R. Crawford Jr.
My Being
I continually try to understand, where i am and what is to be the plan.
I try to move forward and do the right thing, but i still don’t know the reason for my being.
I am always in pain in some form, and it makes me feel scorn.
I try to open doors to improve myself, but then there are attacks on my mental health.
Because of what is going on in my mind, from my true path i am blind.
I don’t know if i will ever