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    101 Poems and Philosophies for Geezers and Geezerettes
    101 Poems and Philosophies for Geezers and Geezerettes
    101 Poems and Philosophies for Geezers and Geezerettes
    Ebook134 pages56 minutes

    101 Poems and Philosophies for Geezers and Geezerettes

    By Mary Elizabeth Burgess

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    About this ebook

    The neat thing about getting old is that you can flirt outrageously with anyone you want, and they dont take you seriously. Or maybe they do!

    101 Poems and Philosophies includes poems and mini-essays about growing older. Oh, what fun it is, arthritis, dementia, and enough anxiety to see you to the cemetery and beyond.

    In a serious vein, some pieces present hope for end-of-life issues and, indeed, for the beyond.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAuthorHouse
    Release dateDec 20, 2013
    ISBN9781491841624
    101 Poems and Philosophies for Geezers and Geezerettes
    Author

    Mary Elizabeth Burgess

    A retired reading and learning specialist, Mary Elizabeth Burgess has authored a study skills manual, a children’s book, Victoria, and Once Upon a Time...Two, Poems and Tales of her two sons, Scott and Tom. Also numerous articles have been published in The Lutheran and educational journals. She won poetry prizes in 2009 and 2011 for “Grocer’s Picnic, 1959" and “Grand Canyon Sunrise.” Her short story, “The Flowerbed,” won the WITF contest in January, 2013.

    Read more from Mary Elizabeth Burgess

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      Book preview

      101 Poems and Philosophies for Geezers and Geezerettes - Mary Elizabeth Burgess

      © 2013 Mary Elizabeth Burgess. All rights reserved.

      Cover credit: Balloons by Marie Wenner

      No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

      Published by AuthorHouse 12/17/2013

      ISBN: 978-1-4918-4161-7 (sc)

      ISBN: 978-1-4918-4163-1 (hc)

      ISBN: 978-1-4918-4162-4 (e)

      Library of Congress Control Number: 2013922431

      Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

      Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

      Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

      Contents

      Prescription

      Inventions for Oldsters

      A Husband’s Lament

      Advice from the Alzheimer’s Association

      When They Do the Autopsy

      A Podiatrist

      Blueberries Are Good For the Brain

      History Lessons

      The Economy

      Things to Do Before I Die

      Age-Old Bonds

      Catacombs

      Good Heavens!

      Gardening

      Scents and the Advertising Industry

      Sundae Forgiveness

      Twenty-Fifth Anniversary

      Battle of the Sexes

      Monday

      Requiem for a Marriage

      Who Can Know Grief?

      After Divorce

      Ladies’ Troubles

      Bedtime Snack

      The Seconds

      Counting

      If You Remember

      Living to Eat

      A Fine Restaurant/Ristorante/Restaurante

      Hotels and Hotels

      Bruges, 1992

      To Keith

      Sixtieth Birthday

      Eulogy to Our Step-Dad, 1995

      Maples

      Spring Daffodils, I

      Meals-on-Wheels

      285-7305: Car Trouble!

      Mid—and Low-Technology

      Touching Paper

      Prayer

      Disaster

      Road Kill

      Rain

      For the Arthritic

      Going to Funerals

      Obits.

      Steeping

      Complaint #1,000, and Prayer

      A Conversation with Pain

      Courage, Stubbornness, Tenacity

      Loneliness

      Dating While Lonely

      Decisions, Decisions

      Memorabilia

      Tabloids

      Touch

      Good-Bye, Tom

      Sister Rose

      Textures

      Magnetic Resonance Imaginer

      Fearfully and Wondrously Made

      Leaves

      October Walk

      The Age Effect: Exaggeration

      Stepping Stones

      Ephemera

      After a Long Winter

      April

      s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g

      Living Too Long

      Tai Chi

      New Things and Old Things

      Pianists

      Betty

      Scaredy-Cats

      Faith

      Faith and Aging

      Let the Good Times Roll

      A Migraine’s Prayer

      Mammogram

      Chemotherapy

      Patience

      Phases

      The New Olympics

      No Dieting

      Lifeblood

      50-100-1000

      On Writing

      A Place to Live

      Peaceable Kingdom: Insects, Arachnids and Annelids

      Too Soon

      What Did You Do Today?

      Life

      Prescription

      "To ponder what life means

      Precipitates sickness," the doctor said.

      Not to, the patient replied,

      "Means you’re nearly dead.

      "It’s not the asking makes one ill,

      But expecting answers will.

      "If they come, they are the gifts

      Of birds whose songs the gray dawn lifts."

      Pub. in George Street Carnival, 1972, and Gifts, 1986

      Inventions for Oldsters

      This is true (at least the first part).

      Airbags for walkers so you can play

      Michelin Man and Pillsbury Doughboy

      when you trip or bump needlessly.

      Hearing aids that glow in the dark in case

      you have to answer a two a.m. call.

      Rusty joints for hips, knees, shoulders

      for built-in malpractice cases.

      The baby boomers are making mints off us.

      But they need to invent:

      sweetly-scented Beano,

      nose—and ear-hair clippers with platinum handles, and

      multi-colored Depends for multi-colored ingestions.

      A Husband’s Lament

      The cause of E. D. is grandchildren.

      Those wees, the threes, rouse you to wee,

      and who can get it on or off when there’s three

      in your bed. They age, as do you, but by then they’ll

      want to know what grown-ups do behind closed doors.

      Parents can close doors, but not grandparents.

      Oh, no, they’d rather be dead than lock out

      a dearly beloved grandchild.

      In inverse proportion your passion has gone out of fashion

      as theirs is coming into.

      It’s been so long since you made love

      you’ve forgotten how to.

      Your face’d be red if you even tried to cuddle in bed.

      What’s a guy for?

      By now you’ve forgotten. But hey, there’s help—ta-da!

      Viagra to the rescue!

      If it’s good enough for Dole, it’s good enough for you.

      So get up! Get going! Say, "Get into bed, pardner—

      you’re burning daylight."

      Just pop that pill with a swill of red wine,

      get the blood pumpin’, you’ll be sumpin’,

      by the time it’s ’leven—quick now—

      before the little one’s seven.

      There’ll come a time when the tide will turn:

      the little ones will become bigger ones,

      and they’ll have their own little ones—oh, sure,

      they will make love, till their little ones

      sleep between them.

      Meantime, buy Viagra, go to Niagara, pop it nightly

      before your wife turns unsightly.

      Pray.

      Advice from the Alzheimer’s Association

      Get plenty of mental stimulation: read, do puzzles,

      learn a new language or hobby, go to the theater,

      listen to CD’s, travel.

      Exercise: dance, walk or jog, walk (in water or

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