Legacy: Book Three in the Providence Series

Copyright © 2013 Grace Richardson..

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Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

ISBN: 978-1-4497-9702-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-9701-0 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-9703-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013910267

WestBow Press rev. date: 11/19/2013

Contents

Acknowledgements

- 1 -

- 2 -

- 3 -

- 4 -

- 5 -

- 6 -

- 7 -

- 8 -

- 9 -

- 10 -

- 11 -

- 12 -

Epilogue

Also in the Providence series

by Grace Richardson:

Book One—The Journal

Book Two—Blessings

Please note: This is Book 3 in a series and is not a stand-alone volume. For your enjoyment, please begin with Book 1 entitled The Journal. The entire series is available at Westbowpress.com, Amazon.com, ebay.com and select booksellers.

Acknowledgements

My foremost gratitude is to the Lord for the gift of this story.

My husband, who encouraged me chapter by chapter.

Genevieve, Janet and Sharon—you know who you are! Without their kind words, I would never have had the courage to publish this series.

- 1 -

Kathleen was still in the bathroom when she heard her cell phone ringing. Hoping it was Ben heading back for dinner, she hurriedly grabbed a towel, dried her hands and ran into the main room. She managed to answer it right before it went to voice mail.

Hello, Katie, said a very familiar voice.

Hi, Mom, she replied.

Your father tells me you are still in Massachusetts looking at that big house. Do you have any idea when you are coming home?

Kathleen had spoken with her father right after they toured the mansion. They probably had assumed she was leaving right away.

I’m sorry, Mom, I really don’t. Why? Is something up?

She was surprised when her mother’s tone turned suddenly serious.

Well, there is something I’ve been wanting to speak with you about for some time now, but your father always seems to be around when we talk.

Dad? Is something wrong with Dad?

Oh, no, dear. Don’t be alarmed. There is nothing wrong with your father physically. It is his mental state that I am worried about.

What do you mean?

Well, in the last year or so, your father has become very bored with life.

I don’t understand.

You see, when your father first retired, he enjoyed the freedom. He loved playing golf with his friends. He had a ton of projects he wanted to finish around the house. But lately, golf has lost its appeal and the projects around here are all done. He volunteers some at the church, but he spends way too much time in front of that blasted TV. I think he’s slowly losing his mind from the boredom. He’s out right now buying pickle relish for the hot dogs we’re grilling later. It was just an excuse to get out of the house. I’m really worried about him.

I see.

I was hoping maybe you could stop by the house more often and visit with him. He talked about your predicament at the bank for two or three days after you left. I think he enjoyed the fact that you asked for his opinion.

A smile spread across Kathleen’s face.

Mom, I have an idea. Could you please ask Dad to give me a call when he comes home?

Of course. What is your idea?

Let me talk to him about it first. That way you can be surprised without lying to him.

All right, my dear. I’ll have him call you first thing.

Thanks, Mom. Talk to you later.

She tossed her towel onto the bathroom counter just as she heard Lizzie talking to someone.

The place two blocks down has wonderful subs. Lenny’s. It is a quiet little place.

Thank you, Ms. Liz. That’s where we’ll go, said Ben.

Kathleen slipped on her shoes and grabbed her purse. She pulled open the door to see Ben with his hand in the air, ready to knock.

Hi, he said.

His mood was clearly lifted. She suspected it was from some time in prayer.

Hi, she responded. Lenny’s, huh?

How does that sound?

Great. I haven’t had a po-boy in a long time.

Lizzie had been correct about the atmosphere of the restaurant. It was a tiny place and they were two of only four people sitting at tables. The telephone on the wall, however, never stopped ringing. Kathleen watched as three different delivery guys came and went from the restaurant several times while she and Ben ate.

Kathleen tried to keep the conversation light. She told him the second journal had ended with a cliffhanger.

That stinks, he said. And I know there isn’t another one. I checked Margie’s attic when I was up there. No more mahogany boxes.

Next time I have access to a computer, I’m going to see if I can find out what happened.

Are you asking if you can come over again and use my computer? he asked pretending to be annoyed.

I can wait until I get back to Gellerton, she replied.

He stared at her across the table, suddenly serious.

When do you have to leave?

I don’t know yet, she said. But I have a plan in the works.

He smiled as he nodded his head.

Good.

They ate a little bit more and discussed Margie’s passing.

I guess I’m still in shock, Ben said as he ate. I never dreamed that she would even consider this.

Ben, she had no one else. It was either you or a charity of some kind. You know how she felt about that mansion. She would never have just let the bank take it.

If you are still here Monday, after Margie’s funeral, would you mind going out to the mansion with me? I want to start cleaning the place up, he said.

Absolutely. First thing Monday, I’m going to call the office and get Alice started on researching the National Historic Registry idea. I know nothing about the organization, but I am hoping they can help with keeping a building from being foreclosed on. I think I could sway our Board of Directors, but I don’t want to chance it if the registry can help.

That’s a good idea, he said just as her cell phone began to ring.

Excuse me, Ben, she said as she walked outside the restaurant.

Hi, Dad, she said happily.

Hi, sweetheart, he replied.

She watched through the plate glass window as Ben began to clear their table.

I have a favor to ask, she said. How would you feel about going into the bank next week and covering for me? I’d like to stay in Brookhaven a little longer.

Sure, honey. I can do that, he said barely keeping his enthusiasm in check.

Could you, Dad? It would be a big lifesaver. I’ll let Alice know you are coming in. She will be excited to be working for you again.

Sounds good, Katie. I’d be happy to help out.

By the end of their conversation, Kathleen had brought her father up to speed on all of the pending items on her desk.

Don’t you worry about a thing, he said as Ben was coming out of the restaurant. I will take care of everything.

Thanks again, Dad. I owe you one.

Bye, honey.

Bye.

She put her telephone back in her purse and smiled at Ben.

I can stay until next Saturday.

Excellent, he said, as he grabbed her hand and led her to his truck.

When they arrived back at The Haven, Lizzie and Stan were on the front porch enjoying the nice evening breeze.

Hey, young folk, said Stan. How were the subs?

Delicious, replied Ben. You were right, Ms. Liz.

Lizzie pointed to a bench swing.

Sit down and join us, she said.

The two of them walked over to the swing and gently sat down. Ben casually put his arm around Kathleen.

Lizzie, if it is okay, I think I will stay with you a little longer, Kathleen said.

Of course. You stay as long as you like, she replied.

Thank you.

I would invite you to church tomorrow, but I’m assuming you will be attending Brookhaven Bible Church with Ben, she said.

As a matter of fact, I invited Katie to join me on the way to Lenny’s, Ben replied.

Stan leaned forward in his chair.

Ben, I know you are the Youth Pastor over there, but are you the only one? With all those kids?

Not really. There is a Youth Pastor over the entire group of elementary-aged kids. Starting in fifth grade, the Middle Schoolers have a separate Youth Leader for every grade. On Sundays, grades 5 through 8 meet together for twenty minutes for a time of praise and worship. Then they split up into grades and have a Sunday School class for forty minutes. I lead worship for the whole group and teach the eighth grade Sunday School class. Randy teaches seventh grade. I am also responsible for the curriculum taught, as well as any outside activities for all of the youth.

You lead worship? Kathleen asked surprised. I didn’t know you could sing.

He just smiled at her.

They talked with Lizzie and Stan for quite a while before Ben finally bid them all good night. He patted Kathleen on the leg.

I’ll see you at 8:30 tomorrow morning, he said with a smile.

I’ll be ready.

Kathleen held Ben’s hand nervously as they walked into the church. He had confirmed on the ride over that his parents and younger brother would be there. They’re anxious to meet you, he had said.

They weren’t in the building long before he led her over to a very sophisticated, older couple.

Benjamin, his mother said. There you are.

She was about five feet tall in her heels with short silver hair. Her face lit up when she looked at Kathleen.

And you must be Katie, she gushed. It is so nice to meet you.

It is nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Harrison, Kathleen responded.

Paul. Please call me Paul, said Ben’s father as he held out his hand. Quite a bit taller than his wife, he had to lean down slightly as he shook Kathleen’s hand.

And I’m Susan, Mrs. Harrison added. Sam and Heidi just headed into their Sunday School class. I guess you can meet them later.

Mom, can you take Katie to your Sunday School class with you? I have to go.

Of course, she said.

Ben squeezed her hand. I’ll see you in a little while.

I’m off to Apologetics, said Mr. Harrison.

I always go to the ladies’ Sunday School class. Is that alright with you? Mrs. Harrison asked.

Yes, ma’am.

Great. The room is right down this hall.

It turned out to be the largest Sunday School class that Kathleen had ever been a part of. It was also one of the most interesting, and she was surprised when the hour was over.

The family all met up directly across from the water fountain in the entrance area. Kathleen was startled by the stark difference between Ben and Sam. Where Ben was tall with dark brown hair, Sam was much shorter with very light blond hair. There was a petite girl with black hair at his side.

After Mrs. Harrison had introduced the couple to Kathleen, Ben walked out of the Middle School area.

How was Sunday School? he asked.

Great. I really enjoyed it. How about yours?

Wild, as usual. But good. Are you ready to go into the sanctuary? Randy and Patti are supposed to be saving our seats.

Sure.

Mom, we’re heading in. We’ll see you after.

Kathleen smiled at the four of them as Ben led her away.

Later that night, as Kathleen put on her pajamas, she went over the highlights of the day in her mind. Ben’s family had been very welcoming and she had liked them right away. She could understand why the church was so popular. Not only was the minister Biblically sound, he was relevant to current times. And, as Ben had told her, the worship team was amazing.

Ben. She had no idea how she was going to leave in less than a week and leave him behind. She knew it wasn’t possible. She knew that she could physically leave and that she would have to, but her heart would never leave Ben Harrison.

The next afternoon, as she looked out the passenger window of Ben’s truck, she thought what a bittersweet day it was going to be. The sadness of the funeral they had just attended for Mrs. Evoba was in stark contrast to the excitement she felt as they headed to the mansion. Just as the old woman had said, she felt drawn to it.

I hope you don’t mind, Ben said quietly. I have to head over to Fred Stoll’s office for a minute. He has some papers I need to sign.

Of course I don’t mind, she replied.

After an hour of talking with Mr. Stoll and Ben signing numerous papers, Mr. Stoll declared everything to now belong to Ben, including Mrs. Evoba’s debt on the mansion.

I’m sure the bank will give you a little time to come up with the money. You could try to sell the place.

No, Mr. Stoll, that’s not an option, Ben replied. We’ll come up with something.

The two men stood and shook hands.

Good luck, young man.

A very large dumpster is being delivered to the site tomorrow, Ben said as they drove. I thought for now we could just make a large pile in the back yard. I want to pull all those nasty smelling carpets out, get rid of the old junky furniture. That sort of thing.

Good thing I bought a change of clothes, she said smiling. What are your plans for the place?

Well, if I get to keep it, I plan on using it for youth retreats and getaways. It would also be a nice place for people who are visiting Brookhaven Bible to stay. The church is always having missionaries coming to drum up support for their endeavor. It would be wonderful if they had a nice place to stay while they were here.

She looked at him closely as the truck began to rock back and forth on the dirt driveway. He was already making plans for the mansion, using it for God’s service. She felt very lucky that this wonderful man had looked in her direction. Very lucky indeed.

They worked very hard the entire afternoon. Exhausted, Kathleen sat down on an old wooden crate while Ben collapsed on the freshly swept oak floor.

They had just finished the last room of the upstairs. Now that all of the carpets and furniture had been taken to the backyard, the downstairs rooms were next.

You’re a hard worker for a city girl, he teased as he looked up at her.

Thanks, she replied. I’ll take that as a compliment.

Ben became silent as he intently stared at the wall. After a few moments, he patted the floor next to him.

Come here.

She got up and walked over to where he was.

I want you to see this, he said. Lay down here.

She laid down on the floor next to him and put her arms under her head.

Can you see the sun reflecting off something metal behind that lath right there?

She stared at a place in the wall where the plaster had fallen off the wooden strips underneath. She too could see something reflecting the sun’s light as it made its way between the rows of wood.

Yes, I see it, she said. What is it?

I don’t know, he said as they both stood to investigate.

He wrapped his hands around two pieces of lath and pulled it right off the wall.

Well, I’ll be, he said excitedly. It’s a door handle.

What? A door handle? Why would there be a door handle in the wall?

He turned and looked at her. I don’t know. Unless it is connected to a door.

She smiled at him and that was all the encouragement he needed.

Here, help me, he said. Try pulling the plaster down that has separated from the lath. I will work on pulling the strips off the studs.

After about twenty minutes of work, the two of them stood and stared at their find. It was a plain oak door, smaller than the others in the house with an ornate metal handle.

I bet it is a door between the rooms, he said as he approached and grabbed the handle. I bet it leads to the room next door.

He twisted the handle and pulled the door back. Both were surprised to see a narrow staircase leading to a third floor.

An attic staircase, he exclaimed eagerly. I should have guessed. There are small windows under the edge of the roof. A third floor. Of course.

He turned to her. Don’t follow behind until I am sure it is safe up there, he said strongly. Wait until I give the okay. There is no telling what kind of animals may have roosted up there.

She stood at the bottom of the staircase as Ben slowly and cautiously headed to the third floor. He stopped at a point where his head was just above the attic floor and looked in every direction.

Oh my goodness, he said. Oh my goodness.

What? What is it?

Ben ignored her question and finished his assent into the attic. Once he reached the top, he called down to her, Come on up. The stairs still seem strong.

She hurriedly climbed to the step where she, too, could look around. What she saw astonished her. The attic was packed full of antique couches, chairs, tables, and trunks. There were sheets hiding large groupings of items. Everything was covered in a thick layer of dirt and dust.

Ben, this is amazing, she whispered in awe.

She walked over to a covered item that was obviously a couch. She gently pulled up the sheet and studied its ornate oak arm.

Gorgeous, she said.

Look at this, he said as he gently lifted a sheet from an antique bird cage on a stand. I wonder how long this stuff has been up here.

More importantly, why would someone hide the door to the attic in the wall?

I have no idea, he said shaking his head. This is going to take a long time to go through.

These antiques are wonderful, she said. Do you know how much all this stuff is probably worth?

$265,000? he asked smiling.

You laugh, she responded. But I know antiques sell for big money and look at the condition of these things.

I wonder what is in these trunks, he said. They are all the same.

She turned and looked at the piles of trunks. He was right. Every one of them was identical and there had to be at least twenty-five of them.

I bet these were the trunks they bought for the boys, she said excitedly.

Boys? What boys?

This used to be a home for orphan boys, she said.

Caroline Porter talked about it in the journal? he asked enthusiastically.

She nodded.

Let’s try to open one, he said. Maybe there are old boy things inside.

He carefully unhooked both metal latches and lifted the lid. It was filled to the top with antique clothes. Ben pulled out a large man’s shirt.

These clearly aren’t boys’ clothes, he said. I bet when the trunks had served their purpose, they used them to store things in. Much like modern day plastic bins.

You’re probably right, she said. It is going to be a blast going through all of this stuff. What a treasure.

As she began to walk around the attic, he closed the lid on the trunk and lifted it off of the one underneath. Kathleen made her way down the narrow pathway to the other end of the attic. She marveled at the sheer volume of items carefully and strategically placed throughout the entire third floor. She heard two loud clicks as Ben unlocked the second trunk.

Hey, this one is filled with stuff other than clothes, he called. Come see.

She made her way back to him just as he was pulling out an old book.

It’s an old schoolbook, he said. Robinson’s Progressive Practical Arithmetic. It’s from 1880.

The book was in remarkable condition for its age. He held it out for Kathleen while he reached in for the next thing.

Look at all these old pens and the ink wells, I bet…

His voice faded off as Kathleen looked intently at the schoolbook in her hand. The copyright was 1880. It very easily could have been something that Matthew Lamar or Caroline Porter had held in their hands. She didn’t understand the feelings running through her, but she knew she felt connected to those people of the past. She couldn’t wait to get to a computer to find out what happened to them. Hopefully, she would be able to find something out in the next few days.

. . . listening to a word I’ve said. Are you all right?

She looked up to see Ben staring at her.

Yes, I’m fine, she replied. Do you mind if I keep this?

Of course not. It’s yours.

She smiled at him. Thanks.

They sat down on the floor next to the trunk and spent the next hour carefully going through all the interesting items inside. Besides schoolbooks, pens and ink wells, there were also oil lamps, small wooden boxes, antique cookware, some simple tools and even some objects that were a mystery to the two of them.

By the time they reached the bottom of the trunk, the sun was setting and it was becoming hard to see in the attic.

We should be going, he said as he began placing everything back in the trunk. We’ll get a fresh start tomorrow.

He stood up and reached out his hand to her. She took it and he pulled her to her feet.

I am so glad you were here with me when I discovered all of this, he said as he put his arms around her waist and kissed her. Would you mind coming back out here again tomorrow?

I’d love to, she replied.

We’ll put the carpet and furniture from downstairs into the dumpster that’s coming tomorrow and then come up here and get started going through all this stuff.

I think we should bring something to catalog everything with.

He put his arm around her.

That’s a great idea, he said as they approached the stairs. Let me go first.

He took a few steps down and she began to follow behind him.

We could use my laptop, but that just doesn’t seem right for items of…

Suddenly, he froze and stared at something underneath an antique dresser.

It can’t be… he whispered.

What? What is it? Kathleen asked as she tried to bend down and look under the dresser.

I must be seeing it wrong, he said, squinting his eyes.

What, Ben? I don’t see anything. It is too dark.

He turned around.

Go back up. I have to see if I’m right before I say anything.

She turned around and he followed her back up the stairs. She moved to the side so that he could go around her. He walked right over to a large dresser raised up on curved, carved legs. He knelt down on all fours and stuck his hand underneath the dresser.

I know I saw something under here. Maybe it was further… Aha! There it is. I feel it.

It took him a second, but he worked his fingers around the corner of it and pulled it out. It was a mahogany box.

Ben! she screamed. Ben!

She knelt down beside him and blew the thick layer of dust from the top of it.

Do you think… she asked wide-eyed.

There’s only one way to find out, he replied.

She carefully slid the lid back and breathed with excitement at the sight of another journal.

Oh, Ben, I don’t believe it, she said as he gently removed it from the box.

When did the last one leave off?

Let me think… If I remember right, it was the middle of October, 1880.

He slowly pulled the cover back. The words October, 1880 leapt from the page.

Overcome with emotion, Kathleen stood up and walked away from Ben and the box. She placed her face in her hands.

Why, Lord? she prayed. Why are you giving me these journals? I don’t understand.

Her shoulders began to shake as she began to cry. She felt Ben come up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. She turned around and put her arms around his neck.

I don’t understand, Ben. It is so obvious that His hand is doing all of this. But why?

He held her close and let her cry.

I don’t know, he whispered. Maybe we aren’t meant to know right now.

She pulled away and looked up at him.

You must think I’m a blubbering idiot, she said, wiping at her eyes.

Not at all. It is an astounding thing to see the hand of God move so clearly in your life. It just happened to me a few days ago.

Really? What happened?

You called to say you were coming to Brookhaven, he said softly.

She looked at him puzzled.

Are you saying that you think… She couldn’t finish the sentence.

I do, he replied as he bent and kissed her a second time. Well, get your journal and schoolbook and let’s get out of here before it is too dark to see our way around the house.

She smiled at him. Maybe he was right. Maybe God did bring them together.

She adored Ben, but she wasn’t as sorry to see him leave The Haven that night. She couldn’t wait to dive into the third journal. As soon as Ben kissed her goodnight, she ran upstairs, brushed her teeth and got into her pajamas.

All right, she said to herself. Caroline just read in the Glen Herald that her father and the young Mr. Thomas were in a fire and seriously injured. She and Mr. Paul were trying to catch up with Matthew because maybe he could figure out a way for her to get to Maple Glen quickly. But, then Caroline gets sick. She has caught what little Marie had. They saw Dr. Tom’s cabin and Mr. Paul carried her inside.

She went over to the dresser and picked up the second journal. She put it on the bed next to the third one and climbed in. Being very careful, she opened the second journal to the last page to refresh herself with what had just happened.

A little while later, the rain stopped. I could hear the sound of a horse whinnying and a man’s voice. He was approaching the cabin.

Thank you, Lord, I thought. He’s brought help.

I forced myself to stay awake. I didn’t want to be unconscious when he came in.

For the first time, I began to take a look around the bedroom. It was sparsely furnished. A bed, a dresser and a night table were the only pieces of furniture besides a kitchen chair that Mr. Paul had brought in. There were no signs of decoration except for a large frame high on the fireplace wall opposite the bed.

I could hear the horse snorting right outside the house.

I strained my eyes to see the item in the middle of the frame, but the flickering of the lamp made it difficult to make out.

I could faintly hear wet footsteps as a lone man approached the house.

Dr. Tom? I thought. Or was Mr. Paul unable to get help?

Slowly, my eyes began to adjust and I could tell that the frame held a painting. A familiar painting.

The door of the cabin opened.

Hello? called a voice that I recognized.

As I strained my weak eyes, I began to make out a central figure in the painting.

Hello? Is someone here? the voice called. I saw your wagon.

I blinked several times and strained to see. The figure in the painting was a woman.

That’s odd, the voice said.

My vision cleared.

The woman in the painting was… me.

I wonder… whispered the voice.

It was the portrait Kate had done of me. Almost instantly, I could see the garden and the cottage as well.

My heart began to race and the room started to spin.

I closed my eyes as I listened to the man’s footsteps as they came near the bedroom.

Hurry, Mr. Paul, hurry, I thought.

What in the world? the voice said softly. Oh, my goodness, miss. Are you all right?

The man hurried to my bedside. I could feel his eyes studying me.

No, it can’t be, he said in disbelief. Caroline?

I used all my remaining strength to open my eyes.

There, beside the bed, knelt Steven Thomas.

As hard as I tried to prevent it, my world went black.

Kathleen carefully closed the second journal and picked up the third.

I remember dreams of fire and rain.

The barn was on fire and my father and Steven were trapped inside. I could save them both if I could just get to them.

As I heard my father and Steven crying out, the water soaked my clothes. I tried to move toward the barn, but my dress was so heavy with rain.

Caroline, I could hear them calling. Caroline!

Help me, Lord, I cried. Help me.

I fell in the mud just feet from the barn. I could feel the heat from the blaze. Try as I might, I lacked the strength to rise.

Father. Steven. I wept.

I’m here, Linnie, a voice said. I’m here.

I thought I could feel someone touching my forehead with something cool.

I tried to raise my head in the storm to see, but I could not.

Fighting desperately, I finally succumbed to my exhaustion.

I also remember dreams of drowning. There was a great amount water in my mouth.

Swallow, a familiar voice said. Just swallow.

I swallowed the water and slowly began to breathe again.

Good, the voice said. Good. Let’s try another one.

I was drowning. The water was so warm in my mouth. As soon as I thought I couldn’t breathe, the voice was back again telling me to just swallow it.

I did and I began to breathe.

No more, I thought. I can’t.

But the water kept coming and filling my mouth. Warm water. Warm salty water.

I obeyed the voice and swallowed every time.

Eventually, I grew too tired and resigned myself to sleep.

The next thing I remember was the feeling of rumbling in my stomach. A wonderful aroma filled my nostrils and I found myself very hungry. I slowly moved my head and tried to open my eyes. My eyelids were so heavy.

It won’t be the best chicken you’ve ever eaten, but it is cooked, I heard Mrs. Stone say.

I’m sure it will be fine, Mrs. Stone, Mr. Paul answered.

It smells wonderful, said Kate.

I tried desperately to open my eyes, but I didn’t have the strength. I began to grow scared.

Why are my friends here and I’m still in bed?

I hope it tastes as good as it smells, Mrs. Stone said. Kate, could you get the beans while you are over there?

Of course, she answered.

When is Dr. Johnston coming back? Mrs. Stone asked. Should we save some for him?

No, answered Kate. He’s not coming back until tomorrow morning. He has to tend to his patients in the city this evening.

I heard chairs moving around as everyone took their places at a table.

And he really believes she is pulling out of it? Mrs. Stone asked with disbelief in her voice.

That’s what he said, Kate answered. Her fever broke in the middle of last night.

Praise the Lord, Mrs. Stone said.

He says that if she continues to improve, she may wake up sometime in the next two or three days.

Unbelievable, Mrs. Stone answered.

There was silence for a few moments.

Would you mind if I pray, Mrs. Stone, Miss Kate? Mr. Paul asked.

Of course not, Mrs. Stone answered.

Dear Lord, he began. We thank You for Your wonderful presence here in this house. We thank You for Your mercy and kindness. Thank You for hearing our prayers and healing Miss Carrie.

Suddenly, in quick flashes, scenes of soaking rain and extreme exhaustion came to my mind.

We know that without Your help, she surely would have passed.

Then I remembered my conversation with Mr. Paul about little Marie and my not washing my hands after