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    How to Float When You're About to Sink
    How to Float When You're About to Sink
    How to Float When You're About to Sink
    Ebook150 pages2 hours

    How to Float When You're About to Sink

    By Darvina Emmerich

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    About this ebook

    December 12, 1995 is the day that changed my life forever. That is the day my husband, Jim, and I received the news that he had terminal cancer. We were totally unprepared for this and unprepared for the months that lay aheadmonths of waiting, of hope and hopelessness, of surrender, and of seemingly endless decisions.

    How to Float When Youre About to Sink takes you on a journey through vignettes from specific days and events. Moreover, it shows how anguish and despair can turn into unruffled faith. It is a heart-wrenching and soul-searching story of life and death, written to offer inspiration for others to surrender their strength to God to resolve the mysteries of life.

    Its now 2013; many miracles continue, and writing this book is my miracle! This is knowledge that is necessary and more relevant today, eighteen years later, with the healthcare crisis we are experiencing to help and support the patient, caregiver, family, or anyone who is facing a life threatening health challenge. I pray our story allows others to find hope and celebrate each day as the precious gift that it is with those they love.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBalboa Press
    Release dateNov 20, 2013
    ISBN9781452585963
    How to Float When You're About to Sink
    Author

    Darvina Emmerich

    Darvina Emmerich is the founder and president of the Wrapped in Love Foundation, a nonprofit organization inspired by the memory of her husband, James Emmerich. She lives in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and is the mother of two beautiful daughters, Tara and Robin, and the grandmother of two precious little angels, Ava Grace and Addison Hope. Her life is dedicated to spreading love and hope to others.www.wrappedinlovefoundation.org

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      Book preview

      How to Float When You're About to Sink - Darvina Emmerich

      HOW TO FLOAT

      WHEN YOU’RE

      ABOUT TO SINK

      DARVINA EMMERICH

      38486.png

      Copyright © 2013 DARVINA EMMERICH.

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

      All biblical quotations are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

      Balboa Press books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

      Balboa Press

      A Division of Hay House

      1663 Liberty Drive

      Bloomington, IN 47403

      www.balboapress.com

      1 (877) 407-4847

      Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

      The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

      Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

      Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

      ISBN: 978-1-4525-8595-6 (sc)

      ISBN: 978-1-4525-8594-9 (hc)

      ISBN: 978-1-4525-8596-3 (e)

      Library of Congress Control Number: 2013919874

      Balboa Press rev. date: 11/15/2013

      CONTENTS

      Foreword

      Introduction

      Chapter 1

      The Diagnosis: A Voice In The Storm

      Chapter 2

      The Power Of Words: God’s Plan Versus Man’s Plan

      Chapter 3

      Floating Is Hard, Sinking Is Easy

      Chapter 4

      Treading Water (Part I)

      Chapter 5

      How To Float When You’re About To Sink (Part I)

      Chapter 6

      The Second Time Around: Swimming In Deep Waters

      Chapter 7

      Treading Water (Part Ii): Floating With Faith

      Chapter 8

      Out Of The Storm

      Chapter 9

      Still Waters Run Deep

      Chapter 10

      Treading Water (Part Iii)

      Chapter 11

      How To Float When You’re About To Sink (Part Ii)

      Chapter 12

      A Side Miracle: A Conversation With The Other Side

      Chapter 13

      The Gift Of Grace: Floating In Grace

      Chapter 14

      Jim’s Legacy: A Side Miracle

      Action Steps For Those Facing Serious Illness

      Afterthoughts

      Notes

      Acknowledgments

      About The Author

      In memory of my husband and soul mate, Jim. I love you with all my heart. To my beautiful daughters, Tara and Robin, our greatest gifts from God; our precious little angels, Ava Grace and Addison Hope, the apples of Grandma’s eyes; and to everyone who is seeking the path to love and to God.

      FOREWORD

      Darvina and I came together completely by chance. I recall having a strong desire to volunteer my time to a local organization but didn’t quite know where to begin since I had just moved to a new area of Pittsburgh. There happens to be a local magazine published that I did not have the habit of reading. However, one day I was enticed to open it, and there was Darvina, wrapped in love. I e-mailed her instantly since it was a fit for me. After reading how Wrapped in Love came about, I could relate it to my own stories of losing loved ones to cancer. Making blankets to make patients more comfortable … I could definitely do that!

      That was a few years ago now, and I am convinced nothing is by chance. Darvina has touched so many lives and continues to do so by bringing comfort to others in need. When we connected on this book and I offered to edit for her, I had no idea that this would not be just a technical process. Once I began reading, I couldn’t stop. I became editor and reader and even felt present in her and Jim’s journey through his diagnosis, medical care, and growth in and departure to spirit. It one was of the most emotional and intense experiences I have ever had.

      What was even more inspiring was the multitude of messages and levels of those messages that come through in their story. It is one of true love, devotion, hope, strength of spirit, growth, and courage and proves that God walks among us.

      But it is also a harsh reality of life, as it encompasses the experiences of pain, suffering, sacrifice, expense, desperation, separation, and sometimes blatant disregard for patient care and comfort. It shows the brave yet frightening process of treatment. Moreover, it yields both the miracles and the shortcomings of our medical system and the care we provide.

      Darvina and Jim’s love story both uplifts and frustrates; yet, through it all, we feel the message of hope and an encouragement for positive change. There are messages of comfort, lessons to be welcomed, and action steps to ensure care. Darvina is my inspiration, and she will become yours. She has forgiven life, as author Jang Sungchun writes, and devotes her time and energy for others. She is in many ways a servant leader.

      I encourage those with health challenges, those whose loved ones are suffering, those who are medical directors, staff in the medical profession, legislators, and those who volunteer their time in hospitals and treatment facilities to read How to Float When You’re About to Sink. It will take a system to make the changes needed in patient care today. And as Darvina and Jim have shown us, together we can bring comfort, together we can make anything happen.

      —Cynthia Busin Nicola, EdD

      INTRODUCTION

      Over the years, my life has had its share of high and low points. For the most part, I have always believed I have been blessed with a great life.

      In the cold, blustery winter of January 1970, in my hometown of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, I met my soul mate. I was a mere nineteen years old, a young woman fresh out of beauty college and enthusiastic to experience the world.

      My soul mate, Jim, later to become my husband, had been in the navy and was recently discharged after serving four years in Vietnam. Neither of us was looking for a relationship when we first met, but each of us recognized that fate was at work. From the moment we met, a deep bond was established, and a lifetime of love would follow.

      We dated for four years and then married and lived in southern California. We found happiness in the simple pleasures of life. We enjoyed long walks along the beach, listening to music, going dancing, and picnics in the park. Just being together was the best part of our lives.

      We had our firstborn daughter, Tara, in July 1975. Our beautiful little angel was the creation of the best parts of us. She looked just like her father. And not only was she beautiful, her spirit was strong.

      In 1977, we decided to relocate to Austin, Texas. Some of Jim’s family lived there, and we believed it was important for our daughter to be near other family members, especially her grandparents. I realized how valuable my grandparents had been in my life, and I wanted our children to have the same opportunity to experience that special bond of unconditional love.

      After our move to Austin, in July 1978, our second child, Robin, was born. Again we had a beautiful baby girl, an angel who was almost a clone of our firstborn. It was unreal how identical they looked at birth and still do today.

      We had what some may call a normal life for roughly the next twenty years. Of course, we had our challenges but nothing that prepared us for what we would face in December 1995.

      The journey begins.

      Chapter 1

      THE DIAGNOSIS: A VOICE IN THE STORM

      Our journey began in the winter. I can remember that day as though it were yesterday. It was one of those defining moments in life that never leaves your mind, one you try to make sense of long after it’s over.

      It all began when Jim developed an aching pain in his right shoulder at night. When he was sleeping, I could hear an unusual sound coming out of his body. It was difficult to explain to him, as there were no words to describe the sound, but I knew it was unlike anything I had ever heard. At one point, I said to him, I will tape you if that’s what it will take to make you believe me.

      The sound was haunting. Every time I thought of it, I got a knot in my stomach.

      I had great fear of why this was happening. "Jim is healthy, I told myself. But the other little voice inside me said, He needs to see a doctor." This would be just the beginning of many messages.

      Jim never complained much, but since this had been going on for about a month, I grew more concerned each passing day that the pain didn’t go away. The other unexplained symptom was weight gain in his neck. He noticed that he could no longer wear his shirt buttoned at the collar or wear a tie and thought he was gaining weight. That didn’t make much sense to me because he didn’t look as though he had gained any weight in any other area of his body. This was just another confusing part of this puzzle. I was not convinced.

      In our family, I was the emotional one while my husband was the calm one. Therefore, we made a great team. Jim could usually convince me to stay calm, but he also knew that when I nagged about something long enough, he should listen. This was one of those times.

      I knew something wasn’t right. Call me sensitive, intuitive, or whatever you like, I thought. But when I have a feeling that something is wrong with someone in my family, I can’t rest until I’m convinced otherwise.

      After considerable nagging, Jim made an appointment with his doctor for a Wednesday. The doctor ordered a chest x-ray that same day that revealed a mass the size of a grapefruit in the middle of his chest. The doctor immediately referred Jim to a cardiologist for an appointment the following day.

      The cardiologist immediately ordered a CAT scan, which was performed that day, and indicated that the mass was a tumor. Now the unanswered question was if it was benign or malignant. The cardiologist told Jim to cancel his business trip to Japan that was scheduled for Monday. Instead, a biopsy was scheduled at a local hospital for that day, December 12, 1995. We had a whole weekend to wait.

      Jim was a product engineer manager at Motorola, Inc. in Austin, Texas, and had been employed there for the past twenty years. How could this be happening? I thought. Jim was the picture of health. He could have been a poster boy for health! He lived his life the way most people would like to live theirs. By this, I mean he never overindulged in anything and was in control of all facets of his life. He was his own person. No thing or person ever controlled his spirit. It’s actually one of the reasons I fell in love with him. How important this great quality would become in the coming months when his spirit would face the greatest challenge of his life: death.

      Jim’s greatest attribute was his sense of control. Now he was facing a situation that dictated to him, where he had a total lack of control. He

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