The Other Side of the Sermon: The Principles of Stained Glass Practically Applied to the World of the Wine Glass

Chapter 1

This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about. His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

Matthew 1:18-19

The facts may not be apparent; the apparent may not be factual.

J oe.

Yeah?

Joe, we have to talk.

About what?

Joe, I… I… I’m pregnant.

Now, Joe is no dummy. He knows how babies are made and he knows that he hasn’t been to the factory. There is only one way to become pregnant. Obviously, Mary has been with another man, and Joseph, by measures however cruel, may preserve his honor without considering any defense that Mary may offer.

Suppose the text had continued: Upon hearing this, Joseph beat Mary and put her outside the city, there to live with the animals and beg for bread.

Joseph, operating on presumption and raging in anger, secure in the conclusion to which he was fully entitled, could have tarnished the beauty and diminished the impact of the Christmas story. Yet Joseph’s flawless performance rarely receives its due; we should not elevate Mary for her innocence without recognizing Joseph for his self-control.

We can appreciate Joseph’s predicament because we have been there. With seemingly incontrovertible evidence of offense by spouse or child or sibling, by friend or employer or seller, we have been forced to choose our response. We may have known the post-event relief that came when restraint prevailed, but more likely we recall, with profound regret, the hurt to others and the embarrassment to ourselves that resulted from premature judgment.

Whatever the evidence, the burden of proof always is borne by the accuser, and more important, the accuser will sustain more damage to his standing if he is wrong than the accused will incur if guilty.

The admonition to proceed cautiously has merit in the reverse as well. That is, when all the evidence points to virtue and innocence. An innate trust in the good intentions of our fellowman often prevents a premature negative conclusion, but this same proclivity allows us to impute non-existent good. Thus, we cannot stop at extending the benefit of the doubt; we must pursue the truth until there is no doubt about the benefit. Our failure to do so binds us to unwanted affiliations and commits us to bottomless benevolences that are but weakly worthwhile. We must not fear to discount the countenance of positive appeal.

I am guilty of a lifetime of premature conclusions, hasty utterances, and mistakenly-taken affronts that could have been avoided by the query, Is this really as it appears? I would like to retrieve and remove each one.

But I have a more striking confession. I also would like to reclaim every moment and every dollar expended on some conventionally-defined good that turned out to be a waste. I would like to withdraw trusts bestowed upon the officeholder because of the office, and upon the practitioner because of the profession. And most of all, I wish I could reverse every decision in which emotion thwarted scrutiny. Could I do so, I would withhold numerous monetary contributions, walk out of or refrain from attending uncountable church functions, and cancel commitments that, though popular among the non-discriminating, did not merit my time and effort.

Acquiring all the facts is difficult and time-consuming. Investigation can be unpleasant because it requires us to evaluate that which we would rather trust. At the very least, it requires patience. But the payoff in time and money saved, in embarrassment avoided, and in the satisfaction of seeing resources usefully directed is worth the effort. Patient, persistent inquiry should be an automatic response to any impression, however obviously negative; and to any plea, however enticingly positive.

Chapter 2

Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel—which means, God with us.

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

Matthew 1:19-25

Self-control: the one vital virtue.

H aving established Joseph’s entitlement to a fit of rage and retribution, and having projected the consequences had he indulged himself, we turn to self-control. Where does it come from and what results may we expect of it?

Joseph’s plan took the form it did because he was a righteous man. So it says. But religiously delimited righteousness cannot fully account for his behavior.

Joseph’s religion was more restrictive than permissive; concerned with obedience to rules and with the consequences for their violation. It did little to perfect the whole person; to prepare the adherent for the vagaries of life. Confined to religious dictate alone, Joseph would have had few choices from which to resolve this awkward situation.

Churches serve us no better today. They peddle an irrational, incomplete theology—at home behind stained glass, but a nervous alien in the world of the wine glass.

Joseph was not a prisoner of the pulpit. He examined the information for himself and drew his own conclusions. And he acted upon those conclusions with compassion. His was a code that blended religious imperative, legal rights, personal freedom, and human concern to arrive at the ideal solution.

The strategy was built upon deliberation; contemplation came before conclusion. The result was a man in control of himself and his circumstances. Even if the angel had not intervened and Joseph’s plan had run its course, his calm, reasoned approach could not have been condemned.

Joseph’s reward for his self-control came quickly, and his plan continues to be vindicated two thousand years later. It is an inspiring story that would have been blemished or even terminated by a lesser response from a lesser man.

The irony of self-restraint—the subtle attribute that makes it necessary to continually remind ourselves of its value—is that once its use has prevented confrontation and embarrassment, its very effectiveness lets the incident fade from memory. By contrast, the occasions when temper took control and turned an innocuous event into a humiliating incident—those are the spurs that ceaselessly goad the mind.

Reflecting upon twenty-one years of marriage, and many more of fatherhood, I cannot remember the instances where self-control avoided conflict and hurt feelings (but I do know that there were not nearly enough of them). Yet I can vividly recall, including time and place and subject, occasions where restraint was indicated but ignored. Had I possessed Joseph’s demeanor, the short term rewards alone would have been immeasurable, but these could not have compared to the enduring peace of a life free from remorse, regret, and ineradicable memories.

Those are the results, but we also asked about the origin of self-control, and we declared that religion alone cannot take credit for it. Self-control is an element of that innate something called character. Refer, please, to Chapter 60.

Most of those qualities we consider virtuous—patience, chastity, humility, eloquence, integrity, compassion—are grounded in self-control. It is, therefore, the one vital virtue.

The sun never rises and sets but that the hours between will bring an occasion for which thoughtful recollection of this chapter will be rewarded.

Chapter 3

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him.

When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. When he had called together all the people’s chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was to be born. In Bethlehem in Judea, they replied, "for this is what the prophet has written:

‘But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,

   are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;

for out of you will come a ruler

   who will be the shepherd of my people Israel.’ "

Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, Go and make a careful search for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him.

Matthew 2:1-8

Stated purpose is opiate for the audience; the motive is in the context.

H erod the Great, that noble soul, sincerely wants to know the whereabouts of a baby born to be King of the Jews so that he, Herod, may go and worship this one with whom he will share taxes and allegiance.

Of course. And today, as well, political leaders are selfless servants. Their altruism inspires others:

It is 5:05 a.m., Monday, October 12, 1987. I have just heard the newspaper hit the front lawn and have gone out and retrieved it.

The advertisements invite me as follows:

•   Celebrate Columbus Day by buying an oriental rug.

•   Attend the 30th birthday party for Foley’s Preston Center store, benefiting the Dallas Women’s Foundation.

•   Call today for a FREE home evaluation. (Today the product is vinyl siding, but tomorrow it will be storm windows or plumbing or pest control.)

•   Have your VCR head cleaned for only $39.95. Just take the VCR to any of seven showrooms of a local electronics and appliance company. (VCR? Ask your grandfather.)

•   Let Federated entertain you and make you smile.

•   Pre-arrange your funeral because it’s good business. (Doesn’t say good business for whom. I don’t suppose the funeral home would want us to know about willed body programs at medical colleges; these are even better business for the survivors.)

And now I await the week’s mail in which the senders will allege that they want me to enjoy, have, experience, receive this or that.

Fifteen years later, May 20, 2002, little has changed. Today’s advertisements rely on that’s why… .:

•   "Shafter’s Insurance knows that you’re concerned about your family; that’s why we’re offering the ‘Lotsa bread when you’re dead’ policy."

•   "Cozy Kitchen knows that today’s busy mom wants to provide tasty, nutritious meals for her family. That’s why we developed our ‘Ninety Second Nutrition’ microwave entrees."

(Comforting, isn’t it, that companies can know.)

And in 2010, best of all is king:

•   "Our tires offer the ultimate in handling, traction, and safety for you and your family. And best of all, they’re on sale for just… ."

Four cheap balloons between me and my Maker. As I float off to wherever, I’ll look down on the wreckage with satisfaction, knowing that I got a good deal. The price, I was told, was best of all.

The profit motive is—appropriately—behind every promotion, yet every vendor presents its products in language designed to obscure that purpose and make the message more palatable to the buyer.

Commercial verbiage that does not present features and benefits requires the conclusion that there are none. It implies that the seller is ashamed of his profession, embarrassed about his product, and is afraid that no one will buy if real motives are known.

But before blaming the advertisers, accept please, that their ploys persist only because they are effective; if it were not so, money would not be spent on their development and dissemination. This confirms that the general populace is vulnerable to the façade of noble purpose. We are gullible; we want to believe. And this inclination has made obscurity of purpose acceptable in matters far more serious than consumer advertising.

Deception is now prevalent in areas long considered to be bastions of trust. Open for question are the real motives of preachers and professors and bureaucrats and corporate officers. Demanding of challenge is every word from elected officials who have pledged to operate in the best interest of their electorate.

We live in the day of the dissembler.

We should reject every message that includes elements designed to make the player and his act acceptable. At retail, this includes the Christian fish symbol, photos of the company owner and his family, claims that a percentage of profit is donated to charity, and overblown rhetoric intended to deflect critical inquiry.

We should question, instinctively, the motives of anyone whose office could endow him with unearned legitimacy, or whose message exploits the collective guilt of an affluent society. Politicians and preachers, you are well represented in the previous sentence.

It is more prudence than paranoia to assume that most promotional effort is of purest Herodian lineage. Filter the competition for your time and money through the sieve of the preceding two paragraphs and you will have more of both remaining for yourself.

Chapter 4

After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh. And having been warned in a dream not go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.

Matthew 2:9-12

Explanation draws attention to the unnoticed or the soon forgotten.

I t is not for nothing that these have come to be called wise men. Their mission concluded, they responded to the dream instead of to the despot; they avoided Herod, and did not even send a message about the results of their trip. More wisdom: they made no such commitment at the outset; they merely heard Herod and went on their way. Silence is a legitimate—and often the most prudent—response (Chapter 75). The wise do not explain; wisdom has no place for that pervasive human peril.

The human mind, like an attic, collects worthless items; mental garbage that serves no good purpose, but with which the owner is reluctant to part. It is cluttered with attitudes and behaviors and values that have outlived their usefulness if—and this is a valid question—they ever possessed any genuine utility. As in an over-full attic, this life-junk is a burden upon the structure, sometimes falling through to the habitation below. The compulsion to explain our actions ranks high on the uselessness scale.

Public speakers embarrass themselves and tire their audiences with explanations: When Mrs. Blimp asked me to speak to the Society for the Preservation of Buggy Whips, I had no idea as to what I might say. But then I recalled my childhood, and remembered that although we did not have a buggy, my dad owned an old Model A that… etc… . etc. Or, This has been a busy week and I hope you’ll forgive me for not being as well-prepared as I might have been.

Speakers, please! We do not care to walk with you down the winding road that led to your topic. Nor are we sympathetic to your excuses. We presume that your credentials qualify you to speak on the subject, or else you wouldn’t be before us. Your speech itself will confirm or invalidate our presumptions. And preachers: Spare us the lengthy set-ups to your too-good-to-be-true sermon illustrations. If your teaching tale requires prolix verbiage to connect with the congregation, you chose the wrong example. (Or the congregation chose the wrong