Never Be Discouraged: With God, All Things Are Possible
By Alice Crespo
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About this ebook
Alice Crespo
Alice Crespo was born in New York City, raised in Brooklyn, and grew up totally blind. She had to learn many things, and she realized that, with God’s help, there was nothing that she couldn’t do. The sky was the limit. Alice is now sixty years of age, and she wants to share her experiences and her life lessons with you. Here is her story.
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- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5If you want a book that knocks off all your excuses, this is it!
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Never Be Discouraged - Alice Crespo
Copyright © 2013 Alice Crespo.
Cover Image Design by Sabrina Jean LaMarre
Book Editing by Sabrina Jean LaMarre
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
Inspiring Voices
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
www.inspiringvoices.com
1 (866) 697-5313
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
ISBN: 978-1-4624-0782-8 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4624-0783-5 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2013918797
Inspiring Voices rev. date: 10/06/2013
Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1 The Beginning
Chapter 2 Family
Chapter 3 Friends
Chapter 4 About My Four-Legged Friends
Chapter 5 Things You Don’t Know When You Can’t See
Chapter 6 Things Not Taught In Rehab
Chapter 7 Religion
Chapter 8 Gadgets And Gizmos
Chapter 9 Getting Around
Chapter 10 Helping Hands
Chapter 11 My Advice To All My Readers
Chapter 12 I Saved The Best For Last
This book is dedicated to my family and friends and to all of you who I do not know but who take the time to give me a hand crossing the street, looking for an address, or helping me catch a bus or train. You are the real heroes, for you give me a hand up and not a hand out.
Acknowledgments
T he Bible says that if you have done it to the least of my little ones, you have done it onto me.
So, thank you so much for lending me your eyes since I do not have my own.
I also would like to thank my editor, Sabrina, for helping me edit the book and for the many hours we spent working together.
I also want to thank my lovely sister Helen for all of the support she has ever given me over the years. I’d also like to thank my nieces and nephews for brightening up my life.
This book is also written in loving memory for all three of my furry lovely friends Xenta, Sunshine, and my present dog, Akira. They have all been wonderful lights in my life and have guided me through thick and thin.
Special thanks also go to the First Alliance Church and to New Life Fellowship for all that I have learned from them. I have a better self-image because of them because they taught me that God loves me unconditionally.
And, most of all, I thank God for all his mercy and for putting up with me even though sometimes I continue to make the same mistakes over and over.
Blind Eyes
I have never seen a sunset
Or watched a flower grow
Or even see the light of day
Which gives its gentle glow
But I don’t live in darkness
Because I’ve learned to sense
The Light of Christ within me
That gives my life a glow
Alice Crespo
Introduction
I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth. In fact I was born without a spoon at all. But as you continue to read these pages, I hope you will see that no obstacle is insurmountable. You just have to have faith in God, not be afraid of hard work, and have a dream that you really want to achieve. Everything will fall into place. I started out on welfare, and today I am a self-supporting, financially independent woman, and I live in a beautiful apartment and am off of the welfare system completely.
No one says being blind is easy. Growing up, no one in my household really said anything at all about being blind. Uncomfortable things like this were not really discussed or explained much. But I was, and am, totally blind, and there are a lot of things that need to be discussed and explained.
I always knew I was blind. I couldn’t see, so of course I was blind. But it’s not just about knowing you’re blind; it’s about understanding that even though it is a sighted world, there is still so much to explore and experience. Just because you can’t see something does not mean it isn’t there. You can’t hide away just because you are afraid; you have faith, get up, and create your own light. It is difficult sometimes—I know, I’ve suffered as well—but it isn’t impossible. Nothing is impossible; with God, all things are possible.
As a child I did not fully grasp the concept of being blind. No one ever really sat me down and explained it. They didn’t understand they were playing games I couldn’t play. I didn’t understand why teachers were so hard on me when I made mistakes—I was only a child! And didn’t everyone make mistakes? Why was I treated so differently? Why was I so different?
I was different because I was blind.
People will always ask me what it’s like to be blind. How do I even answer that? What is it like to not be blind? If I feel like they are actually being sincere with me, I’ll tell whoever is asking to just close their eyes as tightly as they can. When I ask them to explain to me what’s happening around them, they can’t answer because they can’t see. Well, everyone, that’s what it’s like for me. I cannot see. I cannot even see if the lights in my home are on and off. This isn’t convenient for my electric bill.
There are ways to learn how to see colors,
I’ve been told, by using descriptive words. However, color is a visual sense that words can only describe so much. For example, I’ve been told that red is like heat, which does give me a slight idea. But I’ve also been told that red is a very pretty color, and I really can’t see how something that’s really hot and could burn me could also be pretty.
White is pure and clean and is supposed to make me think of snow … or, rather, snow will make me think of the color white. However, I can’t really say I think snow is clean and pure because snow makes me think of slush and the cold and uncomfortable, itchy sweaters. Also, how am I supposed to think snow is pretty when I live in New York? And snow in New York, especially Times Square, is definitely not pretty. Besides, whenever it snows, it makes it difficult to walk because it covers all of the landmarks. And the idea of rolling a cane in the snow is just no fun, let’s be honest. And then if I fall in the snow, which happens more than I’d like to admit, that’s even worse. When I’m using a guide dog snow is a triple nuisance because of the salt people use. The salt gets into the dog’s paws and makes a very big mess in my house. If I fall with my guide dog, people are afraid of being bitten and won’t help me up. So, sorry, there is nothing pretty about snow.
Then of course there is the color black. People tell me black is supposed to be like night. People also tell me black is symbolic of depression and death and other unfortunate things. However, I like thinking black is like night, in which case black is definitely my favorite color because I like night and I like to sleep. So, yes, I suppose black is definitely my favorite color. Besides, night means the day is over and work is over and it is time to relax, watch TV, read a book, listen to music, and eat a snack. I can go on and on with all of the good stuff that happens at night. Not to mention that when I wear black I know I don’t need to worry about matching anything.
There are many other things that are hard to describe—like the moon. However, one thing can always be described one way or another, so no need to further this conversation and waste space.
People have told me food looks even more appetizing than it tastes. I love food. I may not be able to see it, but it certainly tastes good. My favorite thing is eating, which is why I’ll never go on a diet. Those evil things will only make you feel guilty about enjoying the pure happiness of a good meal. For example, a good filet mignon with a loaded baked potato from Outback Steakhouse will never fail to put a satisfied smile on my face. Not only is the food absolutely delectable, but Outback has always been a place that has gone above and beyond to make my experience something to remember. They provide Braille menus, and if I ever come with a friend who uses a walker they put us close to the door so my friend does not have to walk so far. I wish more places were as accommodating as Outback. And don’t even get me started on their desserts—they are awesome. Enough said.
As you read this book you will be taken into a new world where people function without sight. The worst thing that can happen to someone is not to lose his or her sight but to lose vision. I hope that by reading this book you will open your mind to the many possibilities that could be yours if you will just give your dreams a chance and trust that God will always be there to help you.
I do not want to blame anyone for my blindness. God has a reason for everything, and although I do not understand it entirely today, I know that one day when I meet him face to face, he will make it all clear to me. Until then I am content to know that he is always with me. Maybe it’s because the work that I need to do for Helping Hands requires me to be more sensitive to the needs of other people. When someone else is having a problem with his or her disability or feels poor, I do understand and am more than able to offer my support.
CHAPTER 1
The Beginning
I was born in 1952, when premature infants were put in incubators to help them develop. Doctors were unaware that incubators damaged the retina, causing ROP, or retinopathy of prematurity. I was left totally blind. The technology did not exist to understand or treat my disease. Even today retinopathy of prematurity is not fully understood and remains one of the leading causes of childhood blindness.
Premature birth puts infants at high risk for many diseases. A doctor once told me to think of it like this: you have a party to prepare for and you need a certain amount of time to get ready. You suddenly discover that your party is sooner than you thought, so you throw everything together as quickly as possible and hope for the best. It may look fine on the surface, but you know there are flaws. A premature baby needs those extra couple of months to develop correctly, just like you need those extra couple of hours to prepare for the party. Our eyes need the extra time to develop, otherwise they become disorganized.
And my eyes are definitely disorganized. You could say they just got thrown together. Maybe one day someone will be able to figure out how to organize them.
My parents were so poor, welfare paid for my birth. I was in the incubator for two months. However, no one informed my parents that I was completely blind until I was three months old. I had to return to the hospital to have a hernia repaired, and that’s when they broke the news to my mother. She did not speak English very well, or understand what blind
meant. It wasn’t until my father finally returned home after work that my mother questioned him about what the word blind, ciega, meant. How serious was my condition? I can only imagine in my mind how it must’ve been for her to return home with her infant, not understanding what was wrong, and having to wait hours to discover the seriousness of the situation. I’d like to believe my father comforted her when he returned and held her while he tried to explain something that was difficult for him to understand as well. Neither of them really believed this would be permanent. He had assured my mother that he would find a specialist who could fix this. Unfortunately, after many tries, the doctors finally convinced him that nothing could be done. However, my mother and grandmother strongly believed my condition was temporary, that with faith and prayer I would be healed.
My parents were strict Pentecostals who strongly believed God would heal me if I prayed enough, and they felt that there was no need to do any explaining. In their mind, this was temporary. This put me at a great disadvantage, as I was led to believe that something was wrong with me rather than the truth, which was that I was born blind and that’s just the way life was going to be. No matter how hard I prayed, I could not be sure that God would heal me. I felt like a heavy burden was placed upon me, as if I had done something wrong. This, I think, was very unfair. But I do realize that my mother and grandmother meant well. Unfortunately, they had a poor understanding of theology and had no one to guide them.
The doctors told my parents that my