A Hotelier’S Funny Stories

© 2013 by Stephen Lewis. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 07/17/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4817-9977-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4817-9978-2 (e)

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CONTENTS

The Imperial Hotel Exmouth

The Cheval Roc Hotel. Jersey Island

The Dolphin Hotel In Swansea

The Post House Southampton

The White Hart Hotel: Braintree 1St Time

The Victoria Hotel In Nottingham

The Castle Hotel Tamworth

The Cotswold Hotel Southampton

The Star Hotel

Avenue Hotel 1986-1990

Abbots Lodge Seaford Sussex

Appledore Shipyard

Island Of Nevis & St Kitts Leeward Islands Old Manor Estate Hotel

Old English Inns Relief Management

The White Hart Hotel 2Nd Time

The Saffron Hotel Saffron Walden

We start at early times:-1964-1967 Birmingham College of Food, As a new student after 5months I was invited by a 3rd year student I knew and 2 other 3rd year students travelling to the Walsall Hotel. I was working as a waiter, and given a table for 10 customers. 2 customers where late, by which time the other guests having sat down at the table, and told me to carry on with the Service. I quickly served them with their Starter which was Prawns on Salad.

Having finished their Prawns I collected the cutlery, plates etc, and served the main course to the 8 guests.

Just as I had finished the main course the two late guests arrived and sat down strait away. I quickly served them with their Prawns & Salad and then told the Chef that the two late customers had arrived ready for main course.

Then the main course was served to the last two guests. The plates were served with the Roast Beef, and Roast Potatoes. The carrots, peas and cauliflower were served in a three portion vegetable dish. These were served to the two guests. I served to the lady first but as I used a large spoon her arm knocked my hand by mistake, and this caused the peas to slip down her cleavage.

I was to assist the lady when her husband said its all right I will deal with this.

He put his hand down her cleavage and lifted out 8 hot peas.

He sat back I then moved again to actually serve some peas and the other vegetables to both of the guests by which time the other guests were quietly laughing.

When the dinner was over and I cleared the table of all the plates and cutlery, I apologised to the lady, who then said not to worry.

The Walsall Hotel we where working for £1.50 for Food Service and £1.50 for Serving Drinks on 2 tables. The tips we were given from the tables was about £3.75.

It ended up earning about £6.75 which was good at that time.

After college one night, when we finished approx 7.00pm, Phil, Ted and Myself decided to go to the Wimpy Bar in the high street for a coffee. When we arrived it was full of people waiting for service, but as we saw there was only one person behind the counter.

We saw a table that was free except for the cups, saucers and mugs. Some of the other tables were all full of Cups etc. We were sitting there for about 15mins and decided to clear our table. We left the table found the kitchen and some Trays and so started the dish washer. When that was done we put the cups back in the racks and returned to our table by which time we also cleaned the other tables.

We waited for the person behind the counter until it became quiet, at which point he asked us what we required. We then told him some coffee and suddenly he came across to us with coffees.

The door was then shut and this chap came back to us and sat down.

Thank you he said for what you did. He then asked where were we from, when we said Birmingham College of Food his eyes brightened up.

He then asked us if we wanted part time jobs. We looked at each other and questioned what was the Job and when. It was then going to be from Approx 7.00pm-10.00pm.

It would be serving Coffee, Tea, Soft Drinks, Cakes etc. but not burgers and other hot items. We then asked what days a week, he said it would be Tuesday-Thursday.

We then asked what would we be paid. Which was okay for us. We then said there would always be 2 of us at any evening. We talked about the offer and decided that it would be good money for us three.

The person who was not on that evening, would be working else ware. We then agreed that we put all our money into the pot, and split 3 ways on a Friday. It then meant that we were earning a good bit of money every week until we went off to Hotels for the summer period.

THE IMPERIAL HOTEL EXMOUTH

1965:—The two of us Phil and Myself travelled by train from Birmingham to Exmouth for the first time of working in a hotel for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner.

When we arrived at the Hotel we met the Assistant Manager Brian who introduced us to the General Manager and his Wife who then instructed us how to operate.

We then worked together along with 2 Scottish waitresses in the Restaurant.

It was quite easy after we got hold of routine.

Phil and I and the two waitresses had to clear up after breakfast about 9.00am and then set up the tables for Lunch.

After that was finished we then had to take trolleys out to the patio area at mid-morning for teas, coffees and cakes and biscuits for the older guests, who sat there until they were told that Lunch was ready.

After Lunch at 2.00pm we cleared up and then it started again on the mid-afternoon patio, about 3.30pm with sandwiches, cakes, biscuits, teas, coffee and soft drinks if required, were looked after by the two lovely girls from Scotland.

On a Saturday Evening Dinner in the smaller restaurant area, just beyond the main restaurant, it was full up, except for the last family who arrived lately.

Father, Mother and their two children. Everybody else was halfway through their main course. But the father asked Tim a senior waiter for 4 plates.

Tim asked the father what would he like for Dinner, but was told that he didn’t like the menu, but he wanted some warm plates.

By this time Tim had seen the bag which was obviously Fish & Chips, and decided to get some hot plates, and were they hot.

Tim got them covered in oven cloths and returned to the table. He put the plates on the place settings. The Father was happy and emptied the bags onto the families plates.

He passed them down but found they were too hot, at which time the Manager arrived and was very upset with the Father of the family who complained at the plates were very hot.

The manager then told the husband to look at the menu where it stated quite clearly about not bringing food into the hotel. The other guests were laughing at him, but the kids didn’t mind as they thought it was a bit funny. They were given new plates to have their Fish and Chips to take their food up to their rooms.

In the main Restaurant we had a long table for placing dessert plates, glasses for soft drinks, plus dessert dishes and of course cheeses.

We had a large Camembert placed on a large board on the table along with other Cheeses.

This was there every day for about 2 weeks, by which time it began to smell.

This smell could be smelt about 20ft from the restaurant and could be smelled in the Reception area. The camembert was taken back to the kitchen for the chef to transfer it into some lovely cheese balls blended with mushrooms.

When that went out to the table, the guests all asked what it was. Phil and I said it was a surprise from the chef. The rumours brought the guests to the table and very quickly the Cheese (Camembert) and Mushrooms were cleared.

I went out one night with 3 friends, Tim, Phil, Myself and Tony in his Old Car.

We went out after 9,00pm to Budleigh Salterton for a few Drinks. The few drinks finished at about 10,30pm and we started back. But the car packed up a half mile up to the top of the road. We then had to push all the way until we got to the top and it took about 1hr, we were exhausted. After we had stopped for a few minutes, then we all got into the car and let it run down the hill until we had to stop outside the Imperial Hotel and push the car into the parking area. Once we were pushing the car we felt happy that we were back, except the main door opened by the night porter. Who then didn’t know who we were, and threatened us to clear out. We started to tell who we were but he got out his small pistol which was fired at the ground to frighten us.

We shut the Car and walked to the door at which time the night porter apologised but said if we are going out again to let him know.

It was a bit frightening but we got a pint with out the Manager knowing.

We had a free afternoon when the sun was hot, so Phil, Myself and another waiter called Tim went on to the Exmouth Beach. We found a place to sit down although it was busy with visitors. We had been talking amongst ourselves when a Teenage girl and her sister came back up the sand to where their towels were placed, which happened to be next to us. The older sister apologised for her sister causing water which slashed a bit on us.

But we didn’t mind. We all started talking, being asked when the Older Sister realised we were not from Devon. Tim tried to get the older sister to go swimming which she refused. Tim then asked the young sister to go swimming which she agreed.

Phil decided to go for a walk, but I said I will stay. I then found the name of this lady as being Geraldine, but she asked what was my name.

As we talked I started to listen as to how she spoke which was Devonshire.

After we had been on the Beach for about 2 hours, Phil had come back and Tim and the young sister had returned and we had to get back to the hotel.

Geraldine said she would be back in 2 days at the same time. I said I will be back at the same time and Geraldine was there as promised.

Phil, Me and Geraldine agreed to walk down the parade which we did for another 1hr.

Imperial Hotel

This carried on for another 2 weeks and then Geraldine had to look after her sister the following day. I said don’t worry I will be back in 2 days. Geraldine said where are you going. I said I am going back home to get my Lambretta Scooter. I travelled on one day to Birmingham stayed over night at Home in Bourneville and then rode my Scooter all the way to Exmouth the following day.

I phoned Geraldine that evening after we had finished work and she said that she had just finished her late shift. I said I will have a good night and then I collect you tomorrow evening about 7.00pm. She later phoned to say she would arrive on the train.

I was still in the bedroom Phil and I shared, and I had just finished dressing when Jill the Receptionist showed Geraldine down to where our staff rooms were. Jill opened the door and said Steve somebody is her for you. Geraldine smiled, I was amazed. Anyway I said come on lets go out for a Meal and I will ride you home on the scooter.

We walked off into the town and eventually found a good restaurant