Suburban Love / Ghetto Lust

THE RESCUE

Strumming my pain with his fingers, singing my life with his words, killing me softly with his song . . . .

Roberta Flack

Get yourself cleaned up, and get my dinner done

Yes Hinson was all I could say through a swollen bleeding lip.

Another day, another ass whippin, I should have known better, I saw it in his eyes when he walked into the house. "Something had pissed him off and I didn’t play my cards right, I should have waited until later" I thought to myself.

What the fuck is taking your dumb ass so long?! Hinson yelled from the living room.

I’m coming Hinson, I have to change my shirt

I don’t want to hear it, hurry the fuck up!

I’m done, what do you want for dinner? I asked him, walking in to the living room with my head down.

Surprise me bitch he said, sitting on the couch, remote in one hand, beer in the other, not looking my way.

I took out some stakes, I was going to make them with baked potato’s and a salad, will that be okay?

Stop talking and start cooking

Just then the phone rang.

Hello, no, I can’t talk right now, Hinson just got home and I’m starting dinner, I’ll talk to you later I said and hung up.

Who the fuck was that?

My sister

What did that ho want?

Nothing and I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t call her that

I’ll call her what I want, you and her, ho

Takes one to know one

What did you just say to me?

He was up and standing at the kitchen door, I didn’t even hear him move.

Takes one to know one, is what I said I repeated, slowly turning to face him.

He stood there with that Ike Turner look in his eyes and I knew I was going to get my ass kicked again.

You’re getting very ballsy lately, don’t let your mouth write a check your ass can’t cash he said, walking over to me slowly, looking me up and down.

"I’m not trying to write a check, I’m just sick of you bad mouthing me, my family and my friends, what makes you better than everybody else? Don’t think I don’t know about the shit you do out there, and don’t think I don’t know about your girlfriend either Hinson, is she the reason why you came home and beat my ass tonight? What, she wouldn’t give you any pussy, and you thought you would have to come home and give me your two minutes? The shit just fell out of my mouth, but I had had enough of his shit and the ass whippings were going to stop tonight, but I didn’t see the slap coming.

And I didn’t realize I had a grip on the frying pan that was sitting on the stove, so he didn’t see that coming.

BAM! Right up side his big head and he hit the floor like a safe.

Now, if you get up Hinson, I’ll hit your black ass again, I said in a very slow deliberate voice as I dialed 911.

911, what is your emergency?

My husband and I just had a fight, could you send someone here and have him removed from my house?

Are you hurt ma’am? the operator asked.

Yes, my lip is swollen and bleeding

I have a cruiser on the way now; do you want to stay on the phone until they get there?

Yes

They should be pulling up now, go to the door and then you can hang up She informed me.

Thank you I said and hung up as I let the police in. All the while this was going on my children are in their bedroom crying.

Could you give me a minute to see about my kids?

Yes ma’am, go right ahead the officer said. I went in to my kid’s room, calmed them down, and then went back to the officer standing by the front door. Hinson never left the kitchen. What seems to be the problem ma’am?

My husband came home from work, mad about whatever, I asked him why he was so late getting home and I got a slap in the face and a punch in the mouth I showed him my lip and the bruise on my face.

Where’s your husband now?

He’s in the kitchen; I hit him with a frying pan because he was coming after me again

The officer went in to the kitchen to talk to him, when he came out he had a smirk on his face.

You clocked him pretty good, I asked him what caused the fight and he didn’t have a convincing answer, I also asked him if he would leave the house for the night and he said no, do you have some place you and your children can go for the night, until things cool down?

Yes, we can go to my sisters, but can you stay until I call her and get some things packed?

Your dumb ass will be back! Hinson yelled from the kitchen.

Fuck you!

Sir, please be quiet, she’s leaving the officer said, playing mediator

Good Hinson said.

We’ll see if I come back I said, while I called my sister and packing some things at the same time.

Hinson came out of the kitchen when I went into our bedroom to get some things for myself.

What the fuck you taking out of here?

I was on the other side of the bed, but when he came around it, the officer was at the door, hand on his gun.

Sir, I’m only going to ask you this once, leave the room and let her pack to leave

Hinson stop acting crazy, I’m leaving, that cop ain’t playing

This is my fucking house; I can go in to any room I want!

He has his hand on his gun you stupid fuck! I yelled at him, I felt real brave with that cop standing there

I want to know what you’re taking

Cloths for myself, I wouldn’t touch any of your shit, now get out of my way! I said pushing past him.

Hurry the fuck up and get out!

Sir get out of the way the officer said, with his hand still on his gun You can believe I won’t be back this time, you’ve hit me for the last time, and I hope you and your girlfriend will be very happy together, but I wonder what her husband would have to say about you two, but I can find that out when I talk to him later, who’s the dumb ass now Hinson? I said.

I went to my kid’s room, got them and their things together and left, the officer stayed with me the entire time, keeping an eye on Hinson. Walking out of that house I felt such a weight lift off my shoulders, but it was something I had to do, not only for myself, but also for my children. I knew I couldn’t raise my son’s in that type of environment; I had to be free, free from the ass whippings, free from the name calling, but most of all free from the control. I didn’t know who I was, but I was so very determined find out, at that point in my life, I didn’t even like me. But I walked out of that house with my head held high, it was a new beginning for me and my children, most of all my oldest Chris, he suffered at the hands of Hinson as well, my youngest, Darin, he got every thing he wanted from Hinson, but Chris was treated like a stepchild, so basically, we lived in a house divided, Me and Chris, Hinson and Darin. The night I left, I had sixty dollar’s to my name and what I had packed for me and my children, every thing was in Hinson’s name, bank accounts, car and credit cards. I didn’t want his money, just support for our children, but that was not to be.

My children and I arrived at my sister’s house in the middle of a snowstorm, wet and scared to death, and the shit started all over again. She thought that because I was going to live in her house, she too could tell me what to do, and every now and then she had a name to call me as well, so I sat and devised a plan, I was going to get the fuck out of her house as well. At this point I was telling the world to kiss my black ass. My children and I stayed with her, her two children and her some time live in putz of a boyfriend.

What happened this time? she asked as if she could care less.

He came home from work, pissed about something, I asked him why he was so late and he slapped me and then punched me in the mouth I told her and showed her my lip.

Well you and the boy’s go to bed and we’ll talk about this more in the morning she said and walked away, the bitch didn’t even ask me if I needed any thing for my lip. I knew the putz was in the house, I saw his car across the street, and when he was around, nothing else mattered, not even her own children.

Staying with my sister, I became her cook, maid, babysitter and sometime chauffer, I also became the butt of her jokes, at the time this was going on in my life, there was a song out called Homeless I don’t remember who sang it, but I will never forget it, she played that fucking song over and over again and when it ended she would look at me with this shit eating grin on her face. If I didn’t need her so much at the time I would have beat the hell out of her, she thought that shit was so funny, something I will NEVER forgive her for. I stayed with her for about a week and I couldn’t take it any longer, so I wrote a letter saying that my children and I couldn’t stay at her house any longer, had her to sign it, took it to social services and being that I had paper work showing that I was an abused woman, I and my children went to a shelter. Other than leaving Hinson that was the best move I had made. My children and I were on our way to recovery. Little did I know there were a whole lot of lies going on behind my back. For example, I was the one cheating and he caught me, I never cleaned the house and I was the one that started the fight that night. Hinson told her all that shit and she believed him over me! I also didn’t know at the time that she was fucking my husband; to this day she won’t admit it, even though he did.

My children and I, were at the shelter for a week, in that week, I found an apartment for us, enrolled my children in school and enrolled myself in nursing school. It felt good being on my own, you see, I went from living in my parent’s house, with their rules, to living in Hinson’s house, with his rules, so I never had the chance to make my own rules. I made it an adventure for my children, telling them we had to go trough a little bad, so mommy could find some good for the three of us. While we were at the shelter, we had our own room, which was very nice. After I would finish whatever chore I had for that day, I would give my children a bath, then a snack, we would say our prayers together and then I would read to them. Once my children were asleep, I would join the rest of the ladies in the house for group therapy. I learned so much in that group, for starters, it was against the law for a man to hit a woman, married or not. Hinson had me convinced that he would NEVER get in to any real trouble, because he was the bread winner in the house and I had no say in anything he did or didn’t do. He also knew I was scared to death of him and would never open my mouth to any one, because they wouldn’t believe me anyway. So for the two years we were married, I suffered in silence. He had gotten in to my sister’s head, telling her that I was a lazy bitch and she believe him over me, but what he would tell me was that, I didn’t have to do anything around the house, that he would do it because he liked doing house work, but then flip the script when he would talk to my sister. I have three older sisters, and this particular sister, he knew she was the weakest link, he never tried that shit with the other two, truth be told, he didn’t like being around them, because he knew they could see right through his bullshit. I do have to give my sister some props, and here it is. If she hadn’t treated me so badly when me and my children came to stay with her, I would have never gotten up the nerve to try to make it on my own, so she kind of did me a favor, the bitch that she is and to this day, I don’t have a relationship with her, although, I have a beautiful relationship with her two son’s, and they can’t stand to be around her either, I have to tell them to call her on mother’s day and her birthday, as you can see I wasn’t the only one she did wrong. Men and the bottle always came before them. I guess I should thank Hinson as well, because if he hadn’t been such a bastard, I would have never met the man that would become my savior and my second husband… .

Lovers

A soft sigh.

As lips part.

The serpent enters the warm wet tunnel.

Eyes roll.

Heads fall backwards.

The lock and key meet again.

Liking the way they feel together.

Fitting so perfectly.

This is so sensual.

So sexual.

Saliva being shared.

Tongues dance together.

In and out of mouths.

Fingers sailing over inner thighs.

Slowly, such a high.

The smooth a shiny drips with its honey.

The hot box wants it all.

Being hospitable to every touch it’s given.

Obvious?

Yes.

Oooh’s and Aaa’s

are set free.

Sleep now.

The sun peaks through blinds

across faces.

It’s tomorrow.

A kiss for the morning.

Never goodbye, just until next time.

The Lover is gone.

Satisfaction!

A smile.

A LITTLE TROUBLE

Hay ladies, my name is Milan and I want to tell you all a story about myself and a man I named TROUBLE.

Why Trouble? Because from the first day I met him, I knew I was in trouble. I was working at Mickey Dee’s back in the 80’s, and he walked in with some of his buddies, looking goood, not all that tall, maybe five nine to five eleven, but regardless, brother was F.I.N.E, and to this day I can remember what he was wearing, blue jeans, black T-shirt and working boots, we locked eyes as he sauntered up to the counter, keeping his eye contact with me. I felt as if he was looking into my soul and my mouth went dry. Now, I need you all to understand something, I have never been intimidated by a man before, but this one had me nervous as hell, when he gave me his order, I had to ask him twice on what he said, then I couldn’t find the right keys to place his damn order, his buddies found that funny and he had to tell them to chill. When I did get his order right, I handed him his tray with shaky hands, how embarrassing is that!? But he played it off as if he hadn’t noticed, I guessed he was trying to make me feel better, but all I really wanted was for him to get the hell away from me, I felt so stupid I wanted to crawl into a hole and just die, I felt like such a fool.

Now ladies, let me give you all some insight on this MAN, baldhead, (from reading my other stories you all should know that’s my weakness) pigeon toed, (you all also should know that I prefer bow legged, but he was working it) bedroom dark brown eyes with long lashes, smooth chocolate complexion, mustache, juicy lips, (girl! I mean the kind that could suck your uterus right out of your body) big hands and feet, (we all know what they say about that) broad chest, strong shoulders and an ass you could your drink your tea and eat your crumpets off of, (I’m talking firm, round and ripe) silky voice, (the kind that would make you want to throw the panties at him, I’m talking Barry White smooth) firm thighs, (not to muscular, but you could see what he was advertising under his cloths) and finally a walk that would make you think he was walking on air. As I’m writing this, my kitty is purring and I’m hoping he never reads about this, but then again, I don’t think he would but still, I’m trying to be very careful. I’m talking to my ladies, you all know what it’s like, wanting to tell somebody something, but not having anyone to talk too, that’s where I’m at ladies, I’ve been wanting to tell this story for such a long time, but didn’t know where to start. There might be some embellishing on my part; I do have to protect the guilty, I say that because he’s in a relationship at the moment and we’ve never caused any problems for one another in that aspect, but that will all be explained as I go on. So here we go ladies, buckle up, hope you can stay with me and enjoy the ride!

What’s your name?

Milan I answered, I had just got off of work, and was waiting for my mother to pick me up in front of Mickey Dee’s and then take me to pick my son from the baby sitter, that was my every day life, (school in the morning and work in the afternoon) but with him standing there, looking wonderful in all his magnificence, made me want to melt. I wanted him from… , I’ll have a Big Mac, large fries and a large coke I know, corny, but true.

My mother had drove up just in the nick of time, I was so relieved, because I didn’t know what else to say to him, but before I could reach my mother’s car, he asked for my number, I asked my mother to give me a minute, wrote down my number, handed it to him, smiled, got into her car and breathed a sigh of relief. That night I waited for his call and it finally came at nine-thirty, I had just finished bathing and dressing my son for bed and I had a little time before I took my own shower and got ready for bed myself, when my mother called from down stairs.

Milan, pick up the phone!

I got it! I yelled back to her and waited for the click on her end. Hello?

Hi

Hi I said, recognizing that silky voice.

You know who this is? he asked, voice like velvet.

Yes was all I could say, mesmerized by his sound.

And who am I?

Well, I think from this point on, I’m going to call you Trouble I responded trying to catch a breath. I could feel him.

I wanted to call and tell you, I’m sorry for the way my friends acted today

Don’t worry about it I said.

I didn’t like that they tried to clown you and I told them that when we left he said his voice full of power.

Thank you

Do I make you nervous? he asked with a hint of arrogance

I’m sorry, but yes I answered, balling my free hand into a fist and thinking, Why did I just say that, I must sound like a complete idiot I didn’t want him thinking he had any kind of power over me.

I don’t mean too

I know you don’t; I just thought I would be honest with you

Thank you he said his voice dripping sex.

Don’t sweat it I said trying to act as if I wasn’t fazed.

We talked for over two hours, him asking me questions about my life and me doing the same, actually I countered questioned him every chance I got, I wanted more information then he was willing to divulge and by him doing that, made him even more intriguing to me. He did tell me he was in a relationship, but still looking. I found that to be very conceded of him and told him so.

"So, what you’re telling me is, you’re with someone but looking to date other people?"

In a nutshell, yes he responded very full of him self.

Then that just tells me you can’t be trusted and that you’re like every other man out there, you want your cake and eat it too Click. Okay ladies; was I wrong for hanging up on him? I mean think about it, I’m talking about the 80’s and statistics at that time said that there was ten women for every one man, I guess he must have read that article and took the shit literally, stepping to me like his dick was dipped in gold, I don’t know who did the research and came to that conclusion, but I don’t think they were very accurate and I really didn’t care, but I wasn’t trying to be no yolla back girl for no fucking man! I’m sorry for using such language ladies, but he really pissed me off. I went down to my mother to tell her about the conversation I had just had with him.

He’s just a man, move on were her words of wisdom. You see my mother was old school, if a man was acting the fool, you either dealt with it or kept it moving, she never went into details about much of anything.

Well, I guess I’ll be moving on, I just met him today so I haven’t invested anything

Good, it’s late, go get ready for bed; I’ll keep an ear out for Chris while you’re in the shower

Thanks I said taking her advice, my mother had a way of making things seem easy, but they weren’t always, because Trouble called back before I could get in the shower. I listened to my mother speak to him from the bathroom.

She’s just getting in the shower, yes, I’ll tell her you called, she has your number? No? Give it to me and I’ll make sure she gets it, Okay, bye

Who was that? I yelled from the bathroom, knowing.

Some fool who said you call him Trouble, what’s that all about? Ya know I don’t want no shit goin on ’round my house! She yelled back at me, that was another thing about her, she wasn’t about any bullshit, her home was her castle and anyone that knew her knew that. I got his number for you she continued.

Thanks Ma, I’ll call him back when I come out

I had no intentions of calling him back and hoped he had sense enough not to call me again that night, it was well after ten o-clock and the ringing of the phone would have woken my son, so I cut off the ringer when I returned to my bedroom, thinking I would let my mother answer and cuss him out for calling so late. I know that was bad of me, but she was so good at it and so damn funny.

There was this one time a dude called me after eleven, and she answered the phone before I could, I had picked up a second after her and listened, and this is how it went… .

Hello? She said in a sleepy voice Hell naw you can’t talk to Milan, she’s sleep and yo ass should be too, unless ya work the grave yard shift and if ya do, good for ya, ya have a job, more’en I can say for some of these baggy pants weain fools walkin’ ’round here, but Milan has to go to school in the morning and then to work ha’self in the afternoon, so if ya ever call here again at this hour, I’ll find ya and beat the tar out of ya, I know yo momma taught you better then this she finished and hung up, I waited and hung up after her, laying in my bed laughing but I knew I would get it in the morning, I knew ten o-clock was my cut off time for phone calls, I could make them out, but momma wasn’t having it, them coming in at that hour, I just forgot to tell him that, needless to say, he never called again. When I came down for breakfast the next morning, momma was in the kitchen cooking at the stove making grits, eggs and biscuit, waiting for me.

Some fool called last night

I know was all I could say.

That’s it, I know? she said turning to me, with her hand on her hips.

I’m sorry, it won’t happen again I said not wanting to argue with her but what I really wanted to say was, give it a rest and don’t make such a big deal out of it but I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life taking my teeth out of my mouth to brush them in my hand, she was right, so I kept my trap shut.

Just make sure it don’t, come ’mere baby, let Big Momma give you some breakfast she said, scooping my son up in her loving arms, kissing him good morning and placing him in his high chair to feed him some of her grits and eggs, dropping the subject, because she knew I had gotten her point.

Okay, getting back to Mr. Trouble, he didn’t call back that night and I was grateful for the small blessing, I didn’t want to talk to him again anyway. I went to school in the morning and then to work that afternoon, but when I got there, I found out I wasn’t on the schedule for closing that night, I was happy about that, because it meant I could spend some time with my son. I went to the back office and called my mother to tell her I was on my way home.

Well catch the bus, I ain’t coming out to get you, I already have the baby home

I am going to get the bus; I just called to tell you I didn’t have to work tonight

Then we’ll see you when you get here she said and hung up.

Walking out of Mickey Dee’s, I thought of how much my mother got on my nerves but very fast, I pushed that thought aside, because I couldn’t ask for a better grandmother for my son, and she was a great help to me. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was walking and collided with a hard body, dropping my schoolbooks, as I bent down to pick them up, I recognized the boots and slowly made my way up the pants leg, the shirt, the neck and then those eyes.

I’m sorry; I wasn’t looking where I was going

Don’t sweat it he was using my words against me.

I won’t I said looking him up and down with scrutiny, breezing past him, walking this time with my head held high.

You don’t have to work tonight? he called after me.

No, I don’t I answered over my shoulder, keeping my pace.

Wait! Can I give you a ride home? he asked coming to my side.

"I don’t think so; besides what would your girlfriend have to say?" I shot at him.

"I don’t have a girlfriend" he said the word as sarcastically as I did.

That’s not what you said last night I countered, stopping and staring him down.

No, what I said was, I’m with someone, but still dating he said, letting a wicked grin cross his lips.

That’s only a play with words, it still means the same thing, you’re in a relationship and you want a little something on the side, do I have it right now?

I guess you do, but what’s wrong with wanting your cake and eating it too? there he goes again, using my words, I thought.

"Because you can’t, and you won’t know what you have until it’s gone" I told him, I didn’t want him to think he was dealing with some stupid hood rat.

How old are you? he asked with his head cocked to the side.

Old enough to know you’re trying to run game on me, so let me tell you from the door, my momma didn’t raise a fool, but if you must know, I’m eighteen

We went back and forth like that for a good ten minutes, when I finally told him I had to get home to my son, still not excepting his ride. I took the bus home, thinking of how self-absorbed he was. I hadn’t been with anyone since Mack and was being very careful about whom I let into my life, but this one, I knew I had to keep him at arms length. I really didn’t want to be with anyone at the time, because I fucked around and fell in love with Mack, knowing he was married, again, I’m sorry for using such language, but come on ladies, men make you cuss. When I got off the bus, that fool was right behind it watching for me to get off, I know, this seems like de`ja`vu, but that’s what he did! He followed the bus and watched for me to get off, but this conversation was completely different from the one