I Wish He Was Dead: Based on a True Story of Abuse, Greed, Hate, Distortion, Falsehoods, Fraud, Love of Money, and Divorce

Copyright © 2011 by Jan Jencomb.

Library of Congress Control Number:       2011917474

ISBN:         Hardcover                               978-1-4653-7210-9

                   Softcover                                 978-1-4653-7209-3

                   Ebook                                      978-1-4653-7211-6

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

In order to maintain their anonymity in the story, I have changed the names of individuals and places. I may have changed some identifying characteristics and details such as physical properties, occupations and places of residence.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

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Contents

Prologue

Chapter 1 Letter to Ex-Daughter-in-Law

Chapter 2 Secrets

Chapter 3 Control

Chapter 4 The Second Beginning

Chapter 5 Talking While Driving

Chapter 6 E-mails

Chapter 7 Total Confusion

Chapter 8 More Confusion

Chapter 9 Conversations

Chapter 10 Violations

Chapter 11 Ann Miller (Deadly Dose) and Lyndalu Jencomb

Chapter 12 Concerns from Griegory

Chapter 13 Child Abuse

Chapter 14 Diary

Chapter 15 Affidavits

Chapter 16 Actual or Real Events

Chapter 17 Inappropriate Behavior

Chapter 18 Falsehoods and Inaccuracies

Chapter 19 More Abuse and Falsehoods

Chapter 20 More Falsehoods and Inaccuracies

Chapter 21 Provocation or Motives or Planning

Chapter 22 Lyndalu’s Affiants Speak

Chapter 23 Griegory’s Observations of Lyndalu’s Affidavits

Chapter 24 Lyndalu’s Double Standards

Chapter 25 Odds and Ends

Appendix A North Carolina

Conclusion

Epilogue

This book is dedicated to Emma Kay.

Prologue

As we drive by the beautiful three-story house easily seen from the main highway, we think, Oh, what fortunate people to live in such a beautiful home! The lawn and the landscaping are picture perfect. There is a two-car garage, and on the front of the house, there are two porches, one for the downstairs and one for the upstairs, each with four white columns. About two hundred feet to the right is a large two-story, newly-built workshop. It is easy to see that it is well planned to match the style of the house. We assume a little girl lives in the big house because we see a pink bike in the driveway.

A peek inside shows a well-appointed living area with very expensive furniture. This room has a beautiful coffered ceiling. Griegory, the owner, tells us he did the coffer work himself, along with the beautiful entertainment center with a swing-out television on the left wall. Most of the walls are a soft burgundy with white trim. Griegory has installed the trim and done the painting. The breakfast nook has what I recognize to be an Ethan Allen table and chairs. On the hardwood floor is a beautiful Oriental carpet under the table and chairs. Lyndalu has selected all of the furnishings, and they are perfect.

The upstairs area, three bedrooms, two baths, a laundry room, and a large playroom are all perfectly furnished. That furniture also has to be very expensive. I recognize it as Bob Timberlake. (Lyndalu’s attorney sloughs it off as yard sale stuff.)

We conclude that any family living in a house like this has to be the ideal family. And happy. Lyndalu has a very good office job, and Griegory has his own business, with plans to start a woodworking business in the new workshop, along with his other business.

Take another look: Lyndalu is a fighter, as well as her parents. Griegory is not combative and is non-confrontational. He runs from fights with anyone unless he is cornered. They both drink too much. And they both spend more money than they have. Lyndalu doesn’t want people from her church to go to their house because she doesn’t want anyone to see what they have. I can never understand this attitude. She certainly doesn’t have anything in the way of material goods, which could possibly cause her any shame or embarrassment. The house and all of the furnishings are very expensive.

They are both unhappy. Lyndalu would come home each morning from aerobics and yell, scream, stomp around, and criticize Griegory for any and everything. He gets Emma Kay dressed and ready for preschool, gives her breakfast, and then they have a nice playtime until Emma Kay hears her mom’s car in the driveway. That’s when Emma Kay would start crying. Maybe that is one of the reasons Lyndalu is so angry in the mornings.

But that doesn’t explain her anger at other times. She could be pleasant for a moment and then go off the deep end. That’s when Griegory wants to get out of the way, out of the house, and out of hearing of her yelling at him. And then one night she hems him in. Aha, she has her reason for assault and for separation. She has been planning the separation and divorce for more than two years.

Now if she would just leave him and us alone, we could all be fine. Just when things seem to be going smoothly, she comes along with another attack.

Chapter 1

Letter to Ex-Daughter-in-Law

This is an open letter to Lyndalu, a once was daughter-in-law. These writings are not to take my son’s side or your side. It is to take my side and defend our granddaughter, who is too young to understand but is being emotionally scarred for life by some of the things you have done and continue to do to her. I want you to know what you have done to my family and to me as well. It is not the divorce that bothers us; it is the pure meanness you used in carrying out your plans for the separation and the unnecessary, thoughtless hurt you inflicted on your daughter and on me. Neither of us had done anything to warrant that evil.

You will most likely feel what I am writing to you are the meanest, most awful accusations you have ever heard. If so, read some of the affidavits you had written in support of you and condemning Griegory, Bert, and me. I don’t know who the scripter was, but many of your affiants weren’t even knowledgeable (educated) enough to write their own affidavits. After you’ve read a couple of them, you don’t need to read any further. They’re mostly the same, even to the misspelled words, poor grammar, and incorrect punctuation. Now they are mean and vicious, and the majority of the twenty-four affiants, including you, are guilty of plagiarism and perjury.

There is one very interesting contradiction, however, between you and your sister, Thelma. In paragraph 23 of Thelma’s affidavit, she states, I took leave from work for the first week after Emma Kay’s birth to help my sister at home… In paragraph 66 of your affidavit, you state, The week following the birth of Emma Kay, I had to continue doing all the cooking, cleaning, and laundry in the house due to the fact… Now, which of you is correct? Or is either of you correct? Griegory did tell me that Thelma went home before the week was out because she couldn’t please you.

In Thelma’s paragraph 28, she states, My sister enrolled Emma Kay in ballet… I have observed other fathers at this event; however, Griegory has never attended. Not true. I took Emma Kay to ballet several times that year, and Griegory did come by when I was there. He also took her by himself at least once. One afternoon you asked us to take Emma Kay to Thelma, who was at the hairdresser across the street from the ballet class. This demand turned out to be a real imposition for us. The three of us ate dinner at a restaurant in the same shopping center at triple the cost you told us it would be. We never even heard a thank-you.

Griegory, Bert, and I attended her recital that year; but because of the Fisher family, who barricade Emma Kay from us, we were unable to get close enough to congratulate her or even take a snapshot in her costume because you had already changed her back to her street clothes. Also, Bert and I attended many swimming classes, taking her to swim many times while Mom was doing something else. Griegory did come by to watch her while we were there. Bert and I also took Emma Kay to most or all of her Spanish lessons when she was maybe three years old. I found them to be a complete waste of time and money as well as most inconvenient for us.

You state in paragraph 73 of your affidavit, My family would always take vacations, including trips to Florida, the mountains camping, the beach, and many other places. We have always offered Griegory an opportunity to join us for our family vacations because I felt that it was in Emma Kay’s best interest for her father to attend these vacations to help build a family environment. You felt. What about his feelings? You were going at it all wrong.

Before you started making your family vacation plans, did you ever take your husband’s wishes into consideration or consult with him on anything or even ask him whether he would like to vacation with your family? Griegory would always deny the ‘opportunity’ to vacation with me, Emma Kay, and our family. From what I have heard from you, I believe he had seen all the family fights he wanted to see. From many of the weekend fights you have told me about, if they were true, I would have considered it a punishment more than an opportunity to go on a vacation with the Fisher family. Also, did it occur to you during your criticisms that Griegory was self-employed? No work, no pay. And he could never earn enough money to satisfy you anyway.

It would have been much better if you and Griegory together had planned a vacation for the three of you instead of your planning a vacation with your family and then giving Griegory the opportunity to join you. While you were making all these wonderful plans, did you ever take his wishes into consideration? I would never have planned a vacation or a trip with my parents and siblings without first asking my husband if he would like that kind of vacation.

At least, what I’m writing is, to the best of my knowledge, 100 percent accurate. The information in this book mostly comes from legal documents, e-mails, text messages, recorded phone conversations, my daily journal, a few sickening incidents that are vividly etched in my memory, and countless things you have told me in your many daily tirades on your cell phone while driving to work each morning.

One day you may have to answer some very difficult questions. I don’t know how, when, where, or to whom; but your falsehoods, inaccuracies, delusions, distortions, and greed will eventually come back to haunt you.

So you wanted a divorce. No problem. By this time, your husband, as well as the rest of his family, was more than willing because he could no longer deal with your rampages, tantrums, criticisms, control, complaints, yelling, stomping around, and so on. He never wanted a divorce until your behavior became completely unbearable. Our son’s friends have stood by him and supported him. Most of them had observed the way you spoke to me as well as your behavior. Our friends have fully supported us. Some of them had observed some of your behavior and asked me about it even before the separation. One of my friends met one of the fishing buddies at her son’s house. They soon realized a connection between Griegory and her. I have not talked with that fishing buddy, but he certainly gave Jenny a full report on Lyndalu, and it was not pretty.

I had also stopped talking to you on the phone, and I communicated with you as little as possible and still maintain my relationship with Emma Kay. You said Griegory, Bert, and I had become condescending to you (your affidavit, paragraph 8). Your distortions and delusions turned it around, just as you did so many things. You were the condescending one and had been for quite some time. In the same paragraph just referenced, you were making decisions for us and allegations that were completely untrue. We continue to keep Emma Kay actively engaged, and she is happy when she is with her dad and us. She never misses Mom, and she never asks to go back to your house before her time is completed here.

Your conclusion was that these types of trips (your family vacations) would be too difficult for Griegory’s parents due to their age and physical limitations. Where is all this coming from anyway? Another delusion? Distortion? That conclusion was completely unnecessary. You couldn’t have dragged us with your group even when our health was perfect, and that unnecessary comment was prior to our diminishing health. As Emma Kay’s activity level increased, it became apparent that she was no longer a toddler, and Griegory’s parents could not keep her actively engaged. Sitting in the house with her grandparents was no longer enough. Where in the world did you get that idea? Totally untrue. We did lots of various things, inside and outside, with her. And no one just sat. (That is just another of your distortional, pathological, and delusional tangents.) Do you remember that we were the ones who bought her first bike? And we took her to the park, to the church parking lot, and here at home to teach her to ride it. During the weekend of her sixth birthday, while she was still in kindergarten, I taught her to read her first book, Dick and Jane. She started reading it one Saturday afternoon and kept reading until she fell asleep. The next morning she was up early, reading as she walked around the house. This book was nearly two hundred pages, a compilation of three Dick and Jane books.

So Emma Kay and I went camping, hiking, fishing, and swimming with my family. You are right in that we would not have gone on a vacation with your family. We’ve heard too much from you about their infighting, and I’ve seen too much of the alcohol and smoking (your brother, his girlfriend, and your mom). If you can wrap your mind around some reality, try to remember that Bert and I went on several vacations and trips with our friends—Canada, Yellowstone, Southwestern United States, cruises, and many shorter trips—that is, mountains, beach, and so on—and we took Griegory and Emma Kay on a seven-day cruise in 2008. We didn’t need smoking and drinking to have a great time on any of those trips.

You referenced our poor driving skills. (Think before you falsely criticize others.) Neither of us has ever been ticketed for running a stop sign, backing into an unoccupied parked car and calling it that driver’s fault, speeding, or DUI. Neither of us has ever run off the edge of the pavement, causing hundreds of dollars in damage and blaming it on a pothole, which wasn’t even there. Neither of us has ever had a ticket for anything.

Also, if Emma Kay is old enough to ask questions about our death, she is old enough to have them answered briefly, honestly, and intelligently and move on. Your criticisms are bestial to all of us, including your own daughter. How perfectly did you explain your sister’s death to her?

Regarding Bert telling Emma Kay to use the bathroom in her pants, it was not because he didn’t want to find a restroom. They were waiting for you after dark in an almost empty parking lot at a pharmacy. No self-respecting male grandparent will take a little girl into a men’s room, nor would he go with her into a ladies’ room. Sending her in alone was also not an option. He didn’t like his decision, but he really saw no alternative. Maybe if you had been on time to get her, she could have used the bathroom in your car.

You criticized Griegory in another paragraph for letting a female stranger take Emma Kay into a ladies’ restroom.