God Is Not Listening

CHAPTER 1

1786

Town of Armagh

On a cold November morning a young girl staggered along the street. She was obviously lacking in stamina and undernourished. Her clothing was insufficient for the cold weather, and even though she was very thin, there were visible signs she was with child. People passing took little notice of her; it was too cold to be outside for long unless you had good reason. The young girl was in great despair; her situation was desperate. She had not eaten for two and a half days; she had sold her shawl three days ago to buy food. The shawl was quite ordinary but it was precious to her all the same. Her grandmother had made it for her before she died, but apart from that she needed the shawl for warmth. But she was so hungry and the child she was carrying was weighing her down, she had to get some food and shelter or she and her babe would die.

It was such a painful decision and she lived in terror of making it into reality. She was crying quietly, delaying the moment as long as possible, as she slowly made her way to the forbidding looking building. There was no help for it, it had to be done, and nobody else would help her. Mary mother of god help me, she said aloud. She summoned her courage and kept walking towards the building situated on the outskirts of town. As she drew nearer she could see a sign high up on the building; she was unable to read. The sign seemed very sinister to her. If she had been able to read, maybe the sign would have given her some comfort although that comfort would have been short-lived. She thought she knew what the sign said, she thought it said The Poor House, but what it actually said was

For the INSTRUCTION of YOUTH

The ENCOURAGEMENT of INDUSTRY

The RELIEF of WANT

The SUPPORT of OLD AGE

And the COMFORT of

INFIRMITY and PAIN

But it was the Poor House all right. She didn’t need to know her letters to be sure of that. As she walked under the archway towards the door she stopped crying, lifted her chin and raised a trembling hand towards the bell pull. She hesitated, but her hunger urged her to ring the bell. She waited, her teeth chattering, and she trembled all over. The door was opening, please god save me, she said under her breath. An old man was standing in the doorway looking at her; he had only one leg and used a crutch.

What would you be wanting? he said

Please sir I am needing help, I have nowhere to go, It’s freezing I am and I’ve had no food for nearly three days.

You be feeding more than one by the look of you; my name is Liam, but they call me William he said gruffly. You’d best be following me then.

The girl stepped into a large hall, and followed William into an office. The stone building was cold and damp, but at least there was no cold wind inside. William told her to wait until the Workhouse Master came to interview her. There was a large desk with a chair behind it; there were no other chairs. Now that she had made the decision she felt calmer, her eyes were red from weeping, she looked wretched and hungry, but the anguish in her eyes had diminished a little.

She stood waiting for what seemed an interminable time, she would have liked to lean against the wall, but she didn’t dare. Eventually a rather tall man entered the room.

I am Master Quinn, this House is under my control. What do want?

Some of the girl’s hard won serenity left her; she saw no compassion in the Master’s eyes. He studied the girl without speaking. She had blond hair with blue grey eyes; tall for an Irish girl. Her clothing was best described as a pile of filthy rags and she was dirty from top to bottom. ‘These bog Irish never cease to amaze me’ he thought. ‘They are a filthy race and that’s a fact; lazy and born liars into the bargain.’

Please sir, it’s cold and hungry I am. I’ve not had any food for nearly three days, and I’ve nothing to keep me warm. It’s fearing for my life I am.

Fearing for your life, that’s a likely story.

It’s the truth that I am telling you sir, I am needing food and shelter for myself and my unborn babe.

What is your name? And don’t tell any lies. Lies are not permitted here, if I find you are lying to me, I’ll have you taken before the Magistrate. Are you understanding me girl?

Yes, that I am sir. I swear to god I’ll not lie to you.

Your name.

Aingeal she wept.

Angela? Don’t you have another name? Withholding the truth is as bad as lying. Get on with it girl and give me your full co-operation or you’ll be shown the door.

Please sir, it’s sorry that I am sir. My name is Aingeal Murphy, I come from an estate north of Armagh Town.

What is your father’s name?

Coilin Murphy sir.

Have you no husband?

No sir.

Do you have any assets? Property, personal possessions, money?

It is destitute that I am, I have only the clothes I stand up in. I have not even a shawl to keep me warm.

Have you any prospects for employment?

None sir.

Why haven’t you turned to your family? This establishment is only for those in dire need, those who have no other avenue open to them, not for the likes of you that have a family.

My father has put me out sir. He says I bring shame on him and everybody else. My mother wanted me to stay, but my father was having none of it. He says he will murder me with his own two hands if I return to the cottage. There is not enough food for the family as it is. Tears came unbidden to her eyes; she wiped them away with the back of her hand.

And your child’s father, what of him?

More tears. "It’s an object of pity that I am, the child’s father is a gentleman sir. He is but young and his parents have sent him away to school. They are denying any responsibility for my child. The son cannot be contacted I know not where he has been sent.

Please sir, I am faint from hunger and blue from the cold. My strength is all but gone, I’ll be dying in the street before another day passes."

So, your family has disowned you, your lover and his family have disowned you, you have no possessions, no money and no prospects of employment. How did you get here?

I started walking towards Armagh Town, a kind farmer and his wife felt sorry for me and let me ride in their cart. They would have been helping me further, but they had very little themselves. I found a temporary job as a laundress at an inn. When the position was finished, I continued my walk to Armagh, I begged for food along the way. Sometimes people helped me, but they mostly had very little to give. When I reached the town I had to sell my only shawl for food, I got precious little for it though.

Do you know when your child is due to be born?

Late January by my reckoning sir.

What is your age?

Sixteen sir.

Now think very carefully before you answer this question. Are you withholding any relevant information in regard to your circumstances?

I am withholding nothing sir, may god strike me down if I’m lying.

If I find you have indeed been lying, punishment will be swift and severe. For the time being you will be taken to the receiving ward. In two days time the Relieving Officer will be visiting us. He will interview you and make a recommendation to the Board of Guardians. They will make the ultimate decision as to whether you will be admitted to this House or turned away. The rules are very strict, you will obey them and you shall not gainsay your betters. Do you understand?

I am understanding you sir.

You will await in the entrance hall until the doorman comes to conduct you to the receiving room.

Aingeal entered the receiving room, William told her to wait while he went to find the Matron. He returned within a few minutes, followed by a woman who looked to be in her thirties. Aingeal could see no compassion in her eyes either.

You will address me as Madam Finlay. Would you be telling me your name?

Aingeal Murphy Madam.

You mean Angela Murphy to be sure, not Aingeal Murphy.

No Madam. My parents named me Aingeal not Angela.

And are they here to be objecting? We have conformity here and there’s an end to it.

Aingeal made no reply.

Are you hearing me Murphy?

Yes Madam, I’m hearing you.

Good. Now first you are to follow me to the bathhouse. Your clothes will be removed, cleaned and put away during your stay here. You will be issued with a uniform which you must keep neat and clean at all times.

The bathhouse was a small stone building outside in the yard. There was a fire going to heat the water. A young girl who was about Aingeal’s age was waiting to help her remove her clothes and get her bathed with lye soap.

When this ordeal was over, she was given a rough cloth to dry herself with. A uniform had been placed on the bench for her. It consisted of a calico slip, a petticoat of coarse material, a gown made of material that was very stiff, a gingham dress, a day cap, a pair of worsted stockings and a pair of woven slippers. Aingeal thought the uniform was certainly made to be hard wearing.

The bathhouse girl led her back to the receiving room. Madam Finlay took her into a small dining room, where hot soup and dry bread had been laid out for her. The smell of the food was overwhelming and Aingeal suddenly felt so dizzy she thought she was going to faint. She felt like she was floating as she made her way to the bench. She tried not to wolf the food down, but couldn’t help herself.

Murphy, slow down ordered Madam Finlay. You’ll never be keeping that food down otherwise. Eat more slowly. The doctor will be seeing you in the infirmary shortly, and I’m not to be held responsible if your uniform is soiled.

The infirmary was very dingy; Aingeal crossed herself and prayed to God that she never had need of this room. The nurse came forward—she was quite surly. She pushed Aingeal onto a stool Wait here for the doctor, and mind you pay him the proper respect.

Aingeal looked around the room, it was an extremely large room in the shape of a rectangle. There were windows high up along two walls, but they were small and didn’t allow much light in. It was clean; she’d say that for it. There seemed to be about forty beds that she could see. They weren’t all occupied, but the occupants present looked very ill. The patients were moaning, praying or coughing. Similar sounds came from the men’s ward located behind a heavy curtain.

Aingeal felt very tired, she hoped they would allow her to lie down in the dormitory soon. She closed her eyes for a moment opening them when she heard footsteps. I’m doctor Cunningham, please stand up so I may examine you.

Aingeal tried to rise from the stool; with nothing to hold onto, it was beyond her, Dr. Cunningham gave her his hand and helped her to her feet. He felt her ribs, her stomach, looked at her teeth and her tongue, examined her ankles, felt her forehead and pronounced her malnourished with a mild fever.

When is your baby due he asked

The end of January by my reckoning.

You’ll be admitted to the sick room until your fever has abated.

Please Dr. Cunningham, let me return to the receiving ward, I have no illness on me. To be sure ‘tis only the hunger and cold that is affecting me. I’ve eaten little in the past six or seven weeks; food and warmth is all I am needing.

I’m a very busy man, I don’t admit inmates to the infirmary lightly, just put yourself into Watson’s care and obey all directions given to you. With that he turned and walked away calling for the nurse. Watson walked after him quickly; she didn’t like to waste his time.

Watson, see the patient is put onto an invalid diet immediately; feed her small amounts every three hours. I’ll prescribe a medicinal draught for her as well; give it to her every three hours along with the food. It may be nothing, but I’m concerned about the fever. She is very malnourished and that fever could be anything. I wouldn’t want an outbreak of some sort.

I’ll see that your orders are followed doctor.

Aingeal felt as if she was in a nightmare. Please help me God, if I’m not sick now, I soon will be if I have to stay in this morbid room.

Watson ordered her to remove her clothing and gave her a coarse gown to put on; she put Aingeal into a bed away from everyone else where she cried herself to sleep. When she woke, she didn’t know where she was for a moment. It soon came back to her however. A middle-aged woman carried a tray over to her. On the tray was some broth, a small piece of bread, some rice pudding with milk and a cup of tea. There was a draught as well; the woman told her it was for the fever and a tonic to help her regain her strength.

Mary Mother of God please don’t let a sickness come on me, I must be strong for my babe. She had such a look of anguish on her face. This is no time to be feeling sorry for yourself, you’ll be well again in no time, and your babe will be no worse for your experiences said the woman gruffly.

Aingeal had a visitor in the infirmary two days later; it was the Relieving Officer. He was a kindly man, and after interviewing Aingeal he informed her he would recommend her admittance to the House. He was satisfied she was truly in need. She didn’t know how to take this news. She could either starve to death, or live in this nightmare that was going on around her. Her fever had peaked and waned and with the nourishing food, she felt her strength returning. Later that day she returned to the receiving ward before supper.

An inmate showed her to the dormitory. The room was long and narrow with a raised wooden platform on each side of the room. It was apparent the inmates slept on the platforms. Aingeal estimated each platform would sleep about twenty adults. There was straw and old rags on the platform to protect you from the draughts coming through. It wasn’t what she expected, but it was certainly going to be better than sleeping on the cold ground. She was then taken to a small dayroom occupied by three women. Just then, Madam Finlay entered the room.

There are rules that must be strictly adhered to. Firstly, you are not to be leaving the receiving ward.

Yes Madam.

"You will rise at seven o’clock. At meal times, a bell is rung. Breakfast is at half past seven until eight o’clock, dinner from midday until one o’clock and supper from six o’clock until six thirty. You will retire and lights will be out by half past seven.

Silence will be maintained during meals and after the candles are snuffed.

You will obey all commands issued to you and you will not be saucy.

Now take this red badge and pin it on to your bodice."

What would it be for, Madam?

A badge to denote that you are an unchaste woman. You’re to be wearing it pinned to your chest at all times. You may remove it when you retire to your bed.

Aingeal’s face registered shock. It was the first of many shocks she would endure in the years to come.

Are you capable of sewing Murphy?

Yes Madam. I was helping my mother.

As Madam Finlay left, Aingeal looked at the other women in the room. One was very old; she was quietly weeping. The woman at the far end of the room was young, only in her early twenties; she was sitting on the floor staring at nothing. No expression showed in her eyes. The third woman was sitting on a small trunk. She was an older woman, Aingeal thought she was about forty-five or forty-six; she was sewing what appeared to be a man’s shirt. The woman looked very sad and forlorn. She looked up at Aingeal.

"You’re new as well?’

Yes replied Aingeal. I have been in the infirmary for three days.

The woman didn’t reply, she continued with her sewing but her mind was miles away, the sadness in her eyes struck a chord with Aingeal, she felt the same way herself.

She sat down. Left to her own devices her thoughts tumbled around in her head. What is to become of me? What chance in life will my baby have? Anthony is not even knowing that I am with child? My father said I was a fool, that Anthony never loved me. I was just a dalliance for him. I’ll not be believing it, indeed I don’t want to be believing it. She started crying softly, she didn’t want the other women to see her crying, but they were past noticing or caring. She fell into a reverie sitting on the hard floor.

CHAPTER 2

Her thoughts wandered back to the time when she missed her second menstrual flow. She was so frightened; she didn’t have anyone she could tell. She hadn’t seen Anthony for three weeks: he was going to take her to Armagh and rent a small cottage for her. He promised to take her away from the poverty and squalor she had been brought up in. When he didn’t come for her, she walked all the way to the Manor House. She approached one of the stable boys and asked him to take a message to the Master’s son.

I can’t be doing that he replied. He’s sailed away to England, more than a fortnight ago.

Are you knowing when he will return?

One year, maybe two years I’m not certain sure. Why would you be enquiring

Oh, he is a friend of mine to be sure. Are you knowing precisely where he went?

Look you, I ought to be saying nothing, but you look forlorn so I’ll be telling you. It was a big row he had with his father, I’m not knowing what it was about, although I’m guessing I know the answer to that now. In the wink of an eye, the young Master’s bags were packed and he was taken by carriage to Belfast and put aboard a ship bound for England. We are not knowing precisely where he is abiding, only that he is attending a school.

Thanks to you, god be with you.

Aingeal had turned and walked down the hill to the roadway, Oh god, what am I to be doing now? He doesn’t even know of the child. She walked home with a heavy heart; she was in a very serious situation. Halfway home she felt nauseous, she tried to keep it down but to no avail. When she finished vomiting, she began trembling. She sat on the roadside for a few minutes trying to calm herself; she must get home. She would soon be missed and she didn’t want to give explanations to anybody just yet. She stood up, All I have to be doing is putting one foot after the other, that’s all I can do.

When she arrived home at the cottage, she went straight to the cot she shared with two of her sisters.

What’s ailing you my darlin’ asked her mother has a sickness come upon you?

‘Tis nothing Mathair, an ache in my head and a pain in my stomach. It will pass to be sure.

Let me feel your forehead child. You have slight fever to be sure, keep you in bed for now, I’ll fetch you some broth.

Sibeal was quite concerned about her daughter, it was very unusual for her to take to her bed. At least the young Master had not been hanging around since Coilin had threatened to inform the boy’s parents their son was seeking to turn his daughter’s head away from her duties. Suddenly Sibeal had a terrible thought, what if he had turned her head already. ‘Please god, don’t let this happen to my little girl.’ She walked back over to the cot. Aingeal, are you knowing why you have stomach pains?"

No, I am not knowing; ah to be sure it’s nothing serious.

You look upset, Aingeal please be telling me you’ve not been laying with the Master’s son.

Tears appeared in Aingeal’s eyes and she turned her head away. She was unable to answer her mother.

Mary mother of god, this can’t be happening. She scooped her daughter up in her arms, oh my darlin’ child, my darlin’ child, what’s to become of you?"

They clung to each other, both knowing the dire consequences of being an unwed mother.

You must be telling nobody. Does the Master’s son know of your condition?

Oh Mathair, he doesn’t know and he has been sent away to England to finish his schooling. They’re not expecting him back for two years and nobody can tell me precisely where he’s at. What am I to do?

There’s only one thing you can do. On Sunday after Mass, you must slip away up to the big house. Ask for the housekeeper; keep telling her you must see the Master or the Mistress on an urgent matter. You can’t be leaving until you have seen them, you must beg them to help you and your child.

Aye, I’ll do it, it will not be easy, but I’ll do it.

Now you must be acting as if nothing is wrong. I’d not want your father to become suspicious. Get up now and wash your face, help me prepare the supper as you always do.

Aingeal put a brave face on it for the next few days. She got up very early Sunday morning and washed her hair. She spent quite a long time brushing it to make it shiny. When it was time to go to Mass, she put on her good dress and left with the family. There were seven children altogether; Aingeal was the second eldest after her brother Sean. They were extremely poor, with barely enough food to eat, but so far all the children had shown an inclination to remain healthy. The children helped in the fields; the girls spent some of their time inside helping their mother and learning domestic duties.

After Mass Aingeal slipped away and Sibeal told her husband Aingeal was visiting her girlfriend and would come along later.

Aingeal was very scared; she was terrified of confronting the Master or the Mistress. She was dragging her feet, practicing what she would say to the housekeeper and then what she would say to the Master. She would no sooner decide on what should be said, then it would pop right out of her head and she’d have to start thinking about it all over again. The big house was getting closer and closer and her heart was beating faster and faster. She held her skirts up high to keep them clean as she made her way around to the back door. Aingeal knocked softly on the door half hoping nobody would answer. A scullery maid opened the door. What would your business be?

Please may I speak with the housekeeper?

The girl nodded and then shut the door. When the door opened again the housekeeper was looking at Aingeal. What are you wanting child?

Please madam, it’s sorry I am to be bothering you, but I must speak to either the Master or the Mistress.

You must state your business before I can admit you to see the Master.

My business is of a private matter, extremely urgent so it is. I can speak to the Master or Mistress and no other.

You must state your business. the Master and Mistress don’t drop everything on the whim of a young girl from one of their tenant farms.

It is an urgent matter madam, very urgent. It concerns the Master’s son, I can say no more until I am seeing the Master.

I shall inform the Master but I make no promises as to his reaction.

Thanks to you madam. Aingeal waited on the doorstep for over an hour before the door opened again.

The scullery maid stepped outside. If you walk across to the stables, one of the stable boys will direct you to the tack room. The Master will see you in there.

Thanks to you. Aingeal lifted her skirts again and walked over to the stables. She saw the same young stable lad she had spoken to several days earlier. Would you please be directing me to the tack room

I would to be sure, just you follow me. He showed her into the tack room; two young boys were polishing the leather harness. They nodded to her. Aingeal stepped inside the tack room to wait for the Master; she waited another hour. Her father would be very cross if she didn’t get home soon, but she had to wait, she had no choice.

Eventually the Master walked into the room. Get out he snarled at the two boys. They ran off like whipped puppies. State your business.

Please sir, I have been seeing your son and now I’m with child. I beg you to assist me in some way.

Do you honestly think I would believe a tale like that, my son wouldn’t lower himself down to your standards, so you’d best be on your way.

Please sir, it’s the truth I am saying, Anthony is the father of my child.

Anthony! Mr. Anthony to the likes of you, don’t you dare speak of my son in such a familiar manner, I’ll have you whipped. Now begone before I set the dogs on you.

Please sir I beg you, please help me, your son’s child will be having no roof over its head.

My son wouldn’t beget a child out of trash like you. It is of no concern to me if your bastard child has no roof over its head. That will be one less pauper to worry about. Now get out, you’ve got ten seconds before I call the dogs.

Suddenly Aingeal’s tormented mind snapped; an all-consuming rage overcame her.

I will pray to god for your soul. At the hour of your death the accusing face of your grandchild will appear before you and curse you into hell.

The Master was shocked by her vehemence, he was struck dumb for twenty seconds at the cheek of this wench who dared to reproach him, and then he whistled for his dogs.

She turned and ran as fast as she could until she reached the road. Tears of anger, frustration and fear poured from her eyes. Aingeal made her way home, her father was out when she got there, Sibeal could see from the look in her daughter’s eyes there would be no help from the big house. She held her daughter close; there was nothing else she could do.

They decided to say nothing and let fate decide the outcome. Two weeks went by, her father had been to the inn; he came home late. He usually drank little but on this occasion, he was very drunk. He dragged Aingeal out of her bed and slapped her face; she screamed. He had her by the scruff of her neck and he was shaking her. Sibeal jumped out of bed and ran to her assistance, the other children all woke up in shock.

What are you doing to her Coilin? You’ve lost your senses, I am smelling the drink, get control of yourself for pity’s sake.

Coilin’s face was as black as thunder.

Who do you think I was seeing at the inn? None other than the Master! And what do you think he was saying to me Aingeal? He was only threatening to evict us from our cottage; strip us of our livelihood; take the food right out of our mouths. He says you are with child by the Jesus, he says you are accusing him of disowning his grandchild and threatening retribution if he doesn’t come to your aid. Have you lost your senses? He was saying it to me in front of all our neighbours; you have shamed me in front of my friends. You have shamed your good mother, and you have shamed your brothers and your sisters. What have you to say for yourself?

She has not shamed me, screamed Sibeal. I’m proud of her, she stood up to him she did. He treated here like she was a piece of shite under his boot. Well she’s not a piece of shite, she’s my daughter, it’s proud of her I am.

Proud of her? Have you lost your senses? We could have been evicted because of her. You favour her above your six other children, when she’s proved herself not only of being unworthy of a good Catholic home, but put all our lives at risk by infuriating the Master and then threatening him with god’s retribution.

The children were all crying, the older ones hugging the younger ones, trying to still their fear. Sibeal was crying trying to free Aingeal from her father’s grasp and Aingeal seemed to be in a state of shock. She had gone deathly white.

Let you go of her Coilin, can’t you see she is not herself, let me have her.

Let you have her? I’ll let anyone have her; anyone who wants her can have her, but I’ll not have her here. Take her out of my house and leave her somewhere.

Aingeal’s sisters screamed in terror, Sibeal pulled her daughter free and held her close; the boys were in a state of shock unable to move with the horror of it all.

Coilin you know not what you are saying, get some sleep now, we can sort it out in the morning.

Sort it out in the morning? Sort what out? That my daughter is a whore, that she can’t keep her legs closed. That she dares to threaten retribution to the Master of the Manor without considering the consequences to us. No, she’s going now. I’ll not take the risk of us all being evicted and ending up in the poorhouse because of her. Get her out the door now or I’ll beat the living daylights out of her and forcibly push her out the door myself.

Sibeal could see he meant it, she asked Sean to come and hold his sister in his arms while she gathered up Aingeal’s warmest clothing. Sibeal dressed her and took the blanket off Aingeal’s bed to wrap around her daughter’s shoulders. They went outside. Aingeal was as white as death.

Aingeal sit you here against the wall on the lee side of the cottage. In the morning I’ll speak to your father, it’s a good man he is, it’s just the shock. He will be needing time to think on it.

When Sibeal returned inside, Coilin was asleep on the matrimonial bed they shared with the two youngest children. All the children were still traumatized at the turn of events; they would be getting no more sleep tonight. See to the children Sean, keep them calm. I’ll sit awhile with Aingeal outside.

Sibeal dressed herself in her warmest clothes, picked up a pillow and went outside. She lay down with Aingeal and wrapped the blanket around them both. They didn’t sleep; they lay together until first light. Sibeal rose to make breakfast for the family, she told Aingeal to wait outside, I’ll come for you when I think the time is right. Aingeal nodded and sat with her back leaning against the wall.

She could hear no talking from inside, she pulled the blanket tighter around herself; it was cold. Surely her father would be back to his old self when he woke up, he would still be angry to be sure, but he wouldn’t leave her out in the cold with no food and nowhere to go. ‘He has always shown affection to his children; he will come around. Please god, make it be so.’

Aingeal could hear movement, then shouting, then the young ones screaming again. Sean was yelling at his father, Sibeal was trying to restore calm. Oh god, it’s a nightmare, that’s what it is, cried Aingeal. The next minute her father came outside, she could see his heart was hard.

What are you doing here still? Was I not telling you to go last night, I’ll whip you from here to the roadway if you don’t get going.

Please Deaide, I beg of you, don’t turn your back on me, you’ve always been a good father to us.

But you’re no longer a good daughter, now go, I mean it, you’ll not be stopping here.

Deaide please don’t do this, said Sean. She’s our own flesh and blood; she would never be turning her back on you to be sure.

Mind your business Sean. We could have all been evicted because of her carryings on. She’s to go, and she’s to go now, I’ll not reconsider.

Coilin took off his belt. As I said, I’ll be whipping you all the way to the roadway.

He lashed out at her with his belt, she was screaming trying to keep away from him, but he was relentless chasing her towards the road. The young ones shrieked in terror, the boys were crying and Sibeal ran after Aingeal, screaming with rage and fear, trying to make her husband stop but he took no notice. If you come back here again, I’ll murder you with my own two hands, it’s for certain I will he yelled at her. The look on his face left no doubt in Aingeal’s mind that he meant every word.

Sibeal was hysterical as she grabbed hold of Coilin. May god forgive you—for I never shall. If you do this, I will curse you every day until you die, and your children will be cursing you and your grandchildren will be cursing you, I’ll make sure of it.

He shook her off. Aingeal was still screaming and running towards the road, her father was cursing and reviling her, Sibeal screamed hysterically, and the children were numb with terror. Shocked as they were, they still hadn’t realized Aingeal would be gone from them forever.

Aingeal opened her eyes; nothing in the room had changed. The three women still sat in the same position. Nobody spoke, each involved in her own thoughts. Aingeal had silent tears coursing down her cheeks. Oh how she missed her mother and her brothers and sisters.

The woman looked up from her sewing, focusing on Aingeal. That be the supper bell. She put her sewing down; I’ll need you to be helping me with the other two. The old lady is very frail, I’ll take her to the dining room, the young one has lost her senses, but if you pull her arm she’ll be walking along with you alright.

Aingeal looked at the women blankly, her mind was still far away. She was thinking of her mother as she had last seen her.

Come now, she’ll not bite you. The poor woman has had a nasty shock is all. Whatever happened to her was too much for her to bear, the Good Lord has closed her mind for her, to give her a spell like from the real world. When she heals, the Lord will open her mind again. ‘Tis nothing to be afeared of lass.

Aingeal looked bewildered. I am begging your pardon, I was not hearing you.

The poor soul over there needs you to be helping her, she’s had a nasty shock. She has no awareness of where she is or what is happening. Could you be helping her, lead her to the dining room, coax her to eat perhaps.

Oh God please help me said Aingeal as she crossed herself. Her inbred fear and suspicion of anyone inflicted with the madness made her tremble.

What’s your name child?

Aingeal Murphy.

My name is Nellie O’Leary. Come Aingeal, get you up off the floor and help that poor soul.

Why aren’t they in the infirmary, why must we take it upon ourselves to be responsible for them?

Only God Himself and the Master will be knowing the answer to that. All I am knowing is that if we aren’t to be helping them, nor will anybody else.

Aingeal slowly rose from the floor and walked towards the poor soul. When she reached her, she tugged lightly on her arm. She looked into the woman’s eyes; she saw terrible pain in those eyes, a pain even more terrible than her own.

Keep to pulling gently on her arm, else she won’t know to keep walking. When we get to the dining room it is forbidden to speak, but you must coax her to eat said Nellie.

The small dining room was inside the receiving ward. There were two long benches with stools to sit on. They moved to the front were they were served by an inmate. Madam Finlay sat at the front facing them. I will say grace she said. Nellie and Aingeal bowed their heads; the other two stared into space. After grace, Madam said, silence is to be maintained during the meal.

When they had finished their supper, Madam Finlay said grace again before dismissing them, advising them to go directly to the dormitory as the small fire in the dayroom had gone out.

The next morning, directly after breakfast they went to the dayroom. Nellie picked up a shirt and began sewing. Aingeal felt very dejected, it appeared she would have no input whatsoever into her own life. She would not be allowed to make even the smallest decisions; her thoughts or feelings would not be consulted. Life was hard in Ireland, but even the most hard-pressed, could make minor decisions themselves. She looked across at the older woman sewing; she must have suffered greatly as well to find herself in here. There was pain etched on the woman’s face, but even so, she still had enough kindness left in her to help the pool souls sharing the dayroom with her. Aingeal took a deep breath and shrugged her shoulders. Could I be helping you Nellie?

You’ll be put to work soon enough, enjoy any leisure that comes your way.

A few minutes later an inmate entered the day room carrying a pile of men’s shirts.

She placed the pile on the table. You’re to be sewing the collars on these shirts. Work stops at six o’clock when you’ll be hearing the supper bell.

She’ll be needing a stool said Nellie. And would you be telling me the name of the poor soul at the other end of the room.

And how would the likes of me be knowing that? Why don’t you ask Madam?

Madam Finlay has shown no inclination to answer our questions. But that poor lass is in great need of a friend and we’re not even knowing her name.

Well I’d not want to be standing in the way of a great friendship. I’ll try to be finding out for you.

Thanks to you. And would you please be telling me your name?

My name is Sinead, but they be calling me Jane here.

My name is Nellie and this be Aingeal

They’ll be calling her Angela whether she likes it or not. And you must call me Jane.

As Jane turned to go, Nellie and Aingeal set themselves to work.

Jane returned much later in the day. I have the name of that poor soul. Maire O’Callaghan.

Are you knowing what has happened to her? asked Nellie.

Aye, I am knowing. Her husband and three young ones were after being burnt to death.

No, never. Surely be to god, the Almighty would not be putting her through that.

Oh, tis so tragic, no wonder the madness is on her, said Jane.

No, she has not the madness, ‘tis just a terrible shock that is on her. It will be wearing off in time, god willing. I was knowing something terrible had happened, I’ve seen it before.

Well, said Jane aren’t you the one that’s right. She’s to be thanking god for such as you. Not many would be after helping her.

Aye and not just me. The poor soul would be taking no food at all if the likes of Aingeal wouldn’t be helping.

Thanks be to god, said Jane. But you’d best be calling her Angela and the other one Mary. They don’t allow the old names here.

First I’m to be wearing this red badge so nobody can forget I’m to be an unwed mother, and now I’m to be changing my name said Aingeal.

‘Tis best to be doing what they want, to be sure said Jane. If you are disobeying any of the rules, you’ll be finding yourself going hungry. Sometimes they’ll even take you before the Magistrate.

Ah to be sure, you’ll not be wanting to make trouble for yourself said Nellie. Life is hard enough as it is. Have a mind, and be considering your babe.

I’ll best be going, said Jane. I’ll be bringing trouble on my own head if I’m found to be idling. I’ll be seeing you again, God be with you.

May God and Mary be with you, said Nellie.

CHAPTER 3

The thirty-seven members on the Board of Guardians conducted their weekly meeting and officially admitted the four women in the probationary ward. The new dormitory was huge, with long wooden sleeping platforms, again with straw and dirty rags for mattresses. Trustees led the old lady and Mary (Maire) away and placed them with the other women who were either too old or too sick to work. They would be looked after and fed during the day. At night they returned to the dormitory to sleep.

Nellie and Angela (as she allowed herself to be called) went to the Matron’s office. Matron Shaw was waiting for them. "You are now inmates of this establishment and you will obey all the rules. The rules are read out every Monday during dinnertime. There will be no excuse for not knowing the rules.

You may not be leaving this establishment without proper consent, and you must be returning at the appointed hour.

There is to be no swearing or cursing. You must be clean, and you must be diligent at your work. You’ll be hearing it in full on Monday dinnertime next. Are you understanding me?"

They both nodded.

You will address me as Matron. I am not to be nodded at.

Yes Matron they each replied.

You shall be put to work. You’ll both be doing light duties until further notice. The work is not physically demanding. Mind how you apply yourselves. You are dismissed.

The work was far more demanding than the Matron intimated. A large quota had to be met each day and punishments were severe if the quotas were short. They worked from 8am to 6pm with an hour for dinner, which was the main meal of the day.

When the new inmates entered the dining room for the first time, they were amazed at the size of it and the huge numbers of people entering. There were long benches close together, and everyone was facing the same way. There was an aisle down the centre, which divided the men from the women. Nobody spoke. People shuffled in with their eyes downcast, they would be punished if they tried to greet or motion to family members of the opposite sex. Occasionally some looked around them and made eye contact with their loved ones. Hopefully, it would go unnoticed; the offenders would lose their main meal for one day for the first offence. Repeat offenders had their rations halved for one week. Then they received bread and water only. If their offences continued, they could be locked in solitary confinement.

When everyone was seated, the Master entered the dining room. "Silence, order and decorum shall be maintained. We will now say Grace:

We thank you Lord for what we are about to receive. Without Your Goodness We could not receive Your Bounty and partake of the Bread of Life. In our turn We will show the proper Reverence and Respect, as is Your due. Thank You Lord for helping us sinners who are unable to help ourselves. Amen.

You may now eat."

Angela was feeling stronger now with three meals a day. The meals were small and unappetizing, but Angela received extra rations every day due to her pregnancy and malnutrition.

On the first Monday after Angela entered the workhouse proper, at the dinnertime break, the Master read out the rules in a loud voice:

RULES & ORDERS

TO BE OBSERVED BY

The Poor of the Parish Workhouse of Armagh

IN THE COUNTY OF ARMAGH

I. That the Master and Mistress live in the House, and see that the following Rules be observed.

II. Every Person in health shall rise by six o’clock the summer half year, and by seven the Winter half year, and shall be employed in such labour as their respective age and ability will admit, and commence their work by six o’clock in the Morning, and work till six o’clock at night, from Lady-day to Michalemas; and from seven o’clock till dark, from Michaelmas to Lady-Day, allowing half an hour for breakfast, one hour for dinner, and half an hour for supper: and any one refusing to work, shall for the first offence go without their next meal, and for the second offence be reported to the Overseers, that they may otherwise be punished.

III. That all the poor in the House go to bed by eight o’clock the summer half year, and by half past seven the winter half year, and that all candles be put out by that time.

IV. That the poor shall have their provisions in a clean and wholesome manner, their breakfast by eight, their dinner at twelve, and their supper at six o’clock: that no waste be made, nor any provisions carried away: and that Grace shall be said before and after dinner, and none may depart until Grace is said: and their dinner once a week to be hot meat and vegetables properly cooked.

V. That the house be swept from top to bottom every morning and cleaned all over once a week, or so often as the Master and Mistress think necessary; and the windows be opened daily.

VI. That none absent themselves from the House without leave, nor stay beyond the time allowed them, on pain of losing their next meal, or of some other punishment; nor may anyone be admitted into the House without leave of the Governor.

VII. Any of the poor, guilty of stealing, selling their provisions or clothing, or of drunkenness, swearing, quarrelling, fighting, or in any other way disturbing the peace of the House, or of being in any way saucy or abusive to the Master or Mistress, shall be punished with the utmost severity of the law.

VIII. That all in the House who are able, and can be spared from the duties thereof, shall attend Church or some other Place of Worship twice every Sunday; and those who refuse or neglect to attend, or do not return as soon as Service is over, shall go without their next meal, or be punished in some other way, as the Overseers shall think proper.

IX. No person shall be permitted to bring spirituous liquors into the house. Those found transgressing, shall lose their next meal, or be otherwise punished.

X. Workers shall be allowed twopence in every shilling they earn; Cook four pence per week; Doctor’s Nurse from one shilling. Washerwomen half a pint of ale each per day, and tea in the afternoon.

XI. Any of the poor acting in disobedience of the orders of the Master or Mistress, or in contempt of these Orders, shall be taken before a Magistrate, and punished as the law directs.

XII. That these Orders be placed in the hall, dinner-room, or in any other place that the Overseers may direct; and that they be read on a Monday at dinner-time by the Master or Mistress, so that the poor may not plead ignorance of the same.

XIII. If any of the poor are found defacing or destroying these Rules, they shall be punished by being fed on bread and water only for two days.

JOHN HAMILTON             KEVIN ARTHURS

WILLIAM JACKSON           JOSEPH LAWS

Overseers.

ROBERT FOWLER         Churchwardens

As the days went by, Angela was becoming increasingly aware that children were segregated from their parents. Many a mother cried for their children at night. Angela could stand it no longer; she approached one of the weeping women in the workroom. When will you be seeing your children again Kathleen.

Why would you be thinking I’ll be seeing my children again? They’ll not allow that in here. I’ll not be seeing my daughters again until they be sixteen years and taken away from the children’s ward. My sons, I may never see again.

Angela was stunned. Is it the truth that you are saying to me?

Aye, ‘tis the truth I am saying to you. When you are walking under the Archway of Tears, you are not realizing how many tears you have still to shed.

What is the Archway of Tears?

Why it is the archway you pass under when you ring the bell to get yourself admitted to this House. I see my husband at meal times, but we mustn’t be communicating. ‘Tis heartbreaking, it is, to be sure. The only consolation I’m having is that my children are not to be dying of starvation. ‘Twill be your consolation too, child.

Angela stared at Kathleen with a look of disbelief; she was dumbfounded. She had not realized her baby would be taken away from her permanently. She thought there would be set times that she would spend with her child. She had a thumping sensation in her chest, and her ears were ringing. People spoke to her, but she couldn’t hear them.

The supervisor walked over to the women. Please be telling me why your work has been abandoned.

Please madam, Angela has an illness on her said Nellie.

Nonsense she was quite alright a moment ago, what has happened?

The poor girl was not knowing her child would be taken away from her loving arms, said Maureen.

Return to your work immediately, else I’ll be reporting you. Angela, are you hearing me? You’re to be stopping this nonsense and pick up your sewing.

Angela did not respond; her mind was in torment.

The supervisor slapped her across the face. Angela’s eyes came back into focus. It’s a foolish girl you are, to be sure. said the supervisor. Are you thinking the Board of Guardians has nothing better to do than be pandering to the likes of you? Why, if everybody was to be doing exactly as they please, it would be making no sense at all. The rules are to benefit everybody. Your babe will be finding itself perfectly happy in the nursery with capable women in charge. Are you hearing me Angela?

Angela nodded.

They’ll be allowing you to feed the babe until it’s weaned, but only while you’ve plenty of milk. Getting yourself in a state will not be helping. You’ll not be asked to bear more than anybody else in this house; and you must be accepting of it. Come now Angela, pick up your sewing, it’s hard, so it is, but self-pity will be doing you no good in here.

Angela placed the shift on her lap and commenced sewing. ‘God is punishing me’ she thought. ‘Kathleen is right, I thought I had shed most of my tears before walking under the archway, but that was just the beginning’. Angela no longer wept just for her mother and siblings, she now wept for her child as well.

The women walked to Mass twice each Sunday. Angela assumed that they would see the men folk during Mass, but everything was timed so that the inmates never met with the opposite sex. The children went to the Church of Ireland service in the workhouse chapel.

Angela often felt rebellious and became surly with Matron and the supervisors. She particularly hated the supervisors, considering them to be traitors. On one occasion she deliberately neglected to wear her red badge. The omission was noticed almost immediately. Return to the dormitory at once and get your red badge, if Matron sees you without it, she will punish you, to be sure said the supervisor.

Nellie whispered to Angela She’s trying to help you Cara, don’t be making trouble over such a small thing.

Many women wore red badges and some of the women wore yellow badges. The wearers of the red badge were looked down upon by most of the other women, but those who wore a yellow badge were completely ostracized by the other inmates. Angela thought it was because some of them were coarse in their language and appearance. When speaking to one of the women wearing a yellow badge, a passer-by said, One beetle recognizes another beetle to be sure. Angela was at a loss to understand her meaning. Why does she say that? she asked her companion.

Are you not knowing why I am wearing a yellow badge? It was selling my body I was, before I entered this House. You’d be best keeping away from the likes of me.

Angela was amazed at the continual punishments. There were so many rules you couldn’t possibly abide by all of them. Poor Nellie lost her meat ration for whispering to Mary after lights out. Several nights later Matron heard Angela weeping quietly. Murphy what is the meaning of this, why are you making such a noise after lights out?

‘Tis sorry I am Matron, I am missing my mother. Her face looked so tragic, but Matron didn’t allow sentiment to get in the way of a well-run ward.

You will report to me before breakfast. Now stop this sniveling immediately, others are trying to sleep.

Angela turned away from Matron. ‘How will I ever be learning to live like this? Oh how I wish I was a little girl in my mother’s arms. Even my father was loving me then. Please come and rescue me Mathair’. She wept again, putting her head under the blanket, trying to stifle her sobs.

The following morning Angela tapped on Matron’s door. You may enter. Angela stood before her desk.

I am reporting to you as you asked.

I have decided to issue a warning only, for your infringement of the rules. Due to your advanced state of pregnancy, I will not deprive you of your rations. However if you disregard the rules again, you will be placed in solitary confinement.

It’s sorry I am Matron, I was not to know weeping was against the rules."

Don’t you be saucy. You know very well you must be making no noise after lights out. You would be wise not to bring trouble down on yourself. Any more cheek from you and you’ll spend twenty-four hours in solitary confinement. Are you understanding me?

Yes Matron. That I am.

Christmas day arrived; there was no work on that day or the following day. Everyone attended Mass or Church immediately after rising. A cooked breakfast served with tea for everybody made the atmosphere in the dining room noticeably lighter, even though silence, still had to be maintained. Friends congregated together after breakfast and enjoyed the pleasure of doing nothing but idle the morning away. Christmas dinner was beyond belief, boiled turkey, potatoes and other vegetables, and for dessert, a slice of fruitcake. The only thing missing was the presence of loved ones. How they missed their menfolk and their children. The rules would not be relaxed even on the Lord’s Day of birth.

Angela and Nellie sat with Mary as usual. Mary was very tearful all morning. Tis a good sign, to be sure, said Nellie. She’ll be needing more time, but I’ll not be surprised to see her slowly coming to herself again.

Is it the truth you’re saying to me? said