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    From Heartache to Happiness: Letting Go and Moving On
    From Heartache to Happiness: Letting Go and Moving On
    From Heartache to Happiness: Letting Go and Moving On
    Ebook131 pages1 hour

    From Heartache to Happiness: Letting Go and Moving On

    By Irene T. Stafford and William W. Stafford

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    About this ebook

    What you do with heartache is your choice. You can ignore it, wallow in it or take personal responsibility for your next steps. There is no right or wrong way to deal with it, just different consequences for the action you choose. Ignoring and staying in victim consciousness may be learned behaviors from childhood - maybe even methods modeled by your parents.

    After the end of a relationship, love doesnt die. There are memories you created together that last a lifetime. When you are able to release any anger or resentment and embrace self-forgiveness for the judgments you placed on the other person and yourself, your heart opens to feel the blessings. Self-Forgiveness is one of the most valuable tools you can use.

    When you work through all the powerful exercises in this book, you upgrade your personal tool box for a more successful way of living.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBalboa Press
    Release dateMar 27, 2014
    ISBN9781452592404
    From Heartache to Happiness: Letting Go and Moving On
    Author

    Irene T. Stafford

    Bill and Irene are transformational life coaches and hold master’s degrees in spiritual psychology from the University of Santa Monica. For over a decade, they have worked with individuals moving through life transitions in their private practice and have facilitated workshops across the country. As powerful motivators and inspirational public speakers, they have appeared on radio and television. They live in southern California.

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      Book preview

      From Heartache to Happiness - Irene T. Stafford

      title.jpg

      - Letting go and moving on -

      William W. Stafford

      and

      Irene T. Stafford

      30683.png

      Copyright © 2014 William W. Stafford.

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

      Balboa Press books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

      Balboa Press

      A Division of Hay House

      1663 Liberty Drive

      Bloomington, IN 47403

      www.balboapress.com

      1 (877) 407-4847

      Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

      The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

      Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

      Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

      ISBN: 978-1-4525-9241-1 (sc)

      ISBN: 978-1-4525-9242-8 (hc)

      ISBN: 978-1-4525-9240-4 (e)

      Library of Congress Control Number: 2014902725

      Balboa Press rev. date: 3/27/2014

      Contents

      Acknowledgments

      Introduction

      1 Awareness and Intention

      Adversity Is Your Ally

      Loving Is the Purpose

      Guidelines for Your Journey

      Intentions

      Tool 1: How to Set an Intention

      Inner Reflections

      2 The Road Ahead

      The Journey into the Heart

      The Tornado of Life

      Cycle of Feelings

      How It Was for Bill

      The Neutral Observer

      Healing Actions

      Tool 2: Self-Discovery Journal

      Inner Reflections

      3 Healing Is a Choice

      One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

      What Others Say

      Triggering Comments

      How We Felt

      Avoiding Our Feelings

      Some Questions Answered

      Nobody Cares

      Irene Owning Her Feelings

      Healing Actions

      Self-Discovery Journal

      Tool 3: Meditation

      Cloud Meditation

      Inner Reflections

      4 A Lifetime of Loving

      Choosing To Live

      Men and Women Process Differently

      Why Me?

      Meditation

      The Life Review Chart

      The Life Review Instructions

      Tool 4: A Lifetime of Loving

      Tool 5: Free-Form Writing

      Healing Actions

      Self-Discovery Journal

      Inner Reflections

      5 Commitment to Self

      Life Review Awareness

      Feelings and Patterns

      Preparing Your Relationship Review

      Relationship Meditation

      Tool 6: Relationship Review

      Feelings Mapping

      Reframing Issues as Blessings

      Reframing Worksheet Instructions

      Tool 7: The Reframing Worksheet

      Narrative from a Past Workshop

      Healing Actions

      Self-Discovery Journal

      The Art of the Reframe

      Meditation

      6 I Was Never Enough

      Unmet Expectations

      Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda

      Tool 8: Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda

      Guilt and Shame

      Projections and Your Shadow Self

      Awareness and Compassion Meditation

      Affirmations

      Bill’s Affirmation

      Tool 9: Affirmation Worksheet

      My Affirmations for Living

      Healing Actions

      Self-Discovery Journal

      Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda

      Affirmations

      Meditation

      Meditation

      Inner Reflections

      7 Self-Forgiveness.

      Forgiving Others

      Physical Pain

      Compassionate Self-Forgiveness

      Bill’s Process

      The Statements

      Filling Your Heart with Loving

      End of the Beginning

      Tool 10: Self-Forgiveness Worksheet

      Gratitude

      Magical Moments

      Healing Actions

      Self-Discovery Journal

      Meditation

      Inner Reflections

      8 Choosing to Be Free and Loving

      Letting Go and Moving On

      Tool 11: Completion Worksheet

      Tool 12: A Completion Letter

      Positive Rituals

      Commitment to Self

      Healing Actions

      Inner Reflections

      9 Conclusion

      My (New) Life Is Just Beginning

      In Conclusion

      Next Steps

      10 Our Journey

      Stafford Life Coaching

      In memory of Shannon who inspired us to walk this path.

      And to all of you who are letting go and moving on.

      When you learn your lessons, the pain goes away.

      —Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

      Acknowledgments

      W e are grateful to all of the individuals who, over the last decade, have trusted us to guide them through their life transitions in our workshops and private coaching practice. Their courage to go deep and heal from within inspires us to continue on this path.

      A deep and heartfelt thanks to John C. Stafford for his calm and masterful editing of this book and his wise feedback.

      Our gratitude to Thomas for his love and patience with us over the years as we navigated through our own learnings and discovered the true meaning of unconditional love.

      Thank you, Irene, for holding a place of integrity through the process of this book and for the journey of love we have traveled together. I am eternally grateful for your love and companionship.

      Thank you, Bill, for your unconditional love and support through the darkness and into the light. My heart is filled with gratitude for the magical life we have created together and for your courage and commitment to lead the way.

      To all of our family members, friends, and acquaintances, thank you for choosing to be part of our lives. Without the experiences we have shared together, this book would not have been possible.

      Introduction

      L et’s be honest—heartache sucks! It doesn’t feel good and we don’t like it. But the reality is, it’s a part of life. What if every issue in our lives that we view as negative was actually a wake-up call, a way to get our attention? When you open up your heart and let yourself feel all your feelings, you not only feel the pain but give yourself permission to have more joy and love in your life.

      What we have outlined in this book is just the beginning of your journey into healing your heart. It is a journey that we have made. This is not simply a set of exercises that you do once and put away. It is a new way of relating to yourself as you navigate through all of the issues of life. It’s a practical philosophy for living a more peaceful, successful, and loving life.

      We offer a few suggestions. It is not enough just to read this book. It is not a narrative. It’s a set of carefully designed tools and skills to assist you in moving from heartache to happiness. So do each of the exercises as fully and completely as possible, but don’t get stuck on any one exercise. You can always go back and fill in more detail later.

      We highly recommend that you take a minimum of six weeks to work through all of the material in this book. You are learning lifelong skills. After you have completed the exercises, go back and begin again. You will have a higher perspective and an opportunity to deepen your practice after you’ve worked through the exercises once.

      Finally, do not judge yourself too harshly, preferably not at all. What we have learned from our research and working with clients over the last decade is that most people have never been taught successful tools and skills for processing and releasing all of the inevitable ups, downs, and turmoil that come with life. Be gentle with yourself. Reach out to others. You never need to go it alone.

      The right time to do this work is now. You don’t have to wait to feel better emotionally or physically. In our experience, what stops people from moving forward is fear. There is no better time than the present. Give yourself permission to begin now. When you’ve completed the work in this book, you’ll be glad you took the time to value your own healing.

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      1

      Awareness and Intention

      The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.

      —Helen Keller

      Adversity Is Your Ally

      W e didn’t like the way we were feeling. We had become aware of the numbness

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