Lotsa Laughs: Funny Side of Everything
By Ben Sheldon
()
About this ebook
LOTSA LAUGHS is a book of jokes and hilarious observations, which Ben Sheldon had recorded in his note books, over several years. Its a very funny collection of mostly one- or two-liners. Each one of them was original or independently conceived at the time of recording and dating in the authors note books.
References to real known personalities are not necessarily true, but is done in parody, within protected free speech on satire.
There are seven sections to the book, labeled Chapters, in the Index. Each chapter is aimed at the reader who would enjoy predominantly that kind of humor. For instance, one may laugh at the unique observations in politics, but pass on to another friend or family member some funny aspects of different faiths or innocent, lighthearted takeoffs on ethnicity. A prudish reader may want to save the chapter on bedroom humor for an unblushing neighbor. In any case, said bedroom chapter is written in good taste, with no pornography.
The eclectic, broad-minded reader will, of course, enjoy all the levels of humor in this unique joke book, Lotsa Laughs.
For those who love the creative use of words in different unexpected contexts, there is a chapter on Tongue Twisters. Another chapter is about Fun with Words.
All the humor in Lotsa Laughs is innocent and harmless fun at ourselves and our social, political and religious mores. It is meant to laugh WITH and NOT AT the subjects of humor.
Lotsa Laughs would also make a good reference book for speakers seeking an attention-getting funny opening remark for their speech. A future Henny Youngman may find the one-liners in Lotsa Laughs a good fit for their training manual.
Ben Sheldon
Ben Sheldon got a bachelor's degree from England and a Master's degree from Massachusetts. He has lived in Europe and the US, and traveled in four continents. For the past several years, Sheldon has lived in the San Francisco Bay Area. IDEA of the Book: Whenever an original story idea would cross his mind, he would write it down, for a possible future novel, etc. So many story plots accumulated in Sheldon's notebooks, that he "would have needed nine lives to use them all up". He added: "Not being in the cat family, I decided to let other writers have a go at it". The result is this useful book, as a writers' quarry to excavate for their find.
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Lotsa Laughs - Ben Sheldon
© 2014 Ben Sheldon. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
Published by AuthorHouse 9/18/2014
ISBN: 978-1-4969-3638-7 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4969-3637-0 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2014915248
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,
and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
Contents
POLITICS CAN BE FUNNY TOO
FUN WITH WORDS
CHUCKLES FROM EVERYWHERE
ETHNIC (Laugh At Your Risk!)
TONGUE TWISTERS
BELIEF (With All Seriousness Aside !)
BEDROOM HUMOR (Not For the Prude!)
POLITICS CAN BE FUNNY TOO
It is said that Ross Perot modified his last name, before running for President of the US. His real name was Ross Perot Lee.
***
When Picasso heard about Cuban communism, he called it Cubism.
***
During some conflict, a bomb exploded outside a woman’s door; inside, the unfazed lady turned and said: who is it?
***
Lincoln never left the continental US, because, some claim, he was incontinent.
***
Nixon’s inner circle was a sinner circle.
***
During China’s communist revolution, in their cartoon movies, the cat had to be a MEOWist.
***
It is believed that many British colonials stunk, before one of them invented Cologne.
***
Anything relating to Hillary—is hilarious to Republicans!
***
The difference between Ronald Reagan and his Vice President, George H. W. Bush, Reagan was the actor and Bush was the reactor.
***
The Pilgrim Fathers spawned a nation of over 300 million people. Surely there must have been some Pilgrim Mothers too!
***
Free speech comes to China. You pay 1yen per word.
***
Book about Saddam Hussein and oil-rich Iraq was titled The Fall of the House of Gusher
.
***
FUN WITH WORDS
Composer Haydn, had Sikh blood in him. That’s why he was called Haydn Sikh.
***
Was the original barbarian an Armenian barber?
***
In good English, Cinderella is a very small cinder.
***
Space donkeys are ASStronauts.
***
The movie, Romancing the Stone
was based on a novel about stoning the romance!
***
Ducks were studied in detail, in a Duckumentary.
***
The sign said ‘Menswear’. When clothes shoppers went inside, they found a fouled-mouth joint. The barman explained that the cramped sign was really ‘Men swear’, cautioning the prudes.
***
Missouri, originally, was Shawnee state, of the Indian tribe, before becoming the Show-me state.
***
He dumped his wreck at the junk yard and left wreckless.
***
Hamtrak is an Amtrak car reserved for ham actors.
***
News photographers enjoy mutual cameraderie.
***
Gender blood varies. Man’s blood has much Hemoglobin. Woman’s blood abounds in Shemoglobin.
***
In the cafe, bad coffee caused a brewhaha.
***
Two firms had the following names:
Employment agency: Snelling and Snelling;
Auction Co.: Yelling and Yelling.
***
In a case of double arrest, police arrested a man, who went into cardiac arrest.
***
A bad dictionary is a fictionary.
***
The homeowner gave the chimney sweep leeway, saying: Soot yourself
.
***
A small clamp, in Beverley Hills, used by hillbillies, is called a Clampett?
***
A jerk went on