The Blessing of Brokenness: My Best Is yet to Come
By Josh Morgan
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About this ebook
The Blessing of Brokenness was born out of tragedy. This book describes the raw emotions individuals face during a broken season. You will be encouraged to rely on faith while standing in the face of dark reality. A stern realization in brokenness is that you will either become a slave to circumstance or you will conquer the test set before you. Victory is accomplished by allowing God to reveal answers to broken questions in His way and His time. Broken does not mean failure and it does not require abandonment. We seek to find purpose in brokenness. If God allows brokenness to occur there is a purpose. God will not allow a test to come thats beyond your ability and doesnt lead you to His destiny. The purpose of permitted brokenness is to reveal His destiny. Understanding this shifts your vision to see past the fog of reality to the heart of God. Every dark night ends with the dawn of a morning. Each day with Christ comes with a new banner despite your test. My best is yet to come.
Josh Morgan
Josh Morgan, senior pastor of Everlasting Covenant Church in Fairmont, West Virginia, is recognized as a preacher of passion. Josh has served in ministry for twenty years proclaiming the gospel. Josh’s desire is for the body to unite in a pursuance of His presence. His vision is for the church to live, hope, and love as the Word commands to bring salvation to those without a savior and spiritual transformation to those seeking more from a God of abundant love and grace. Josh’s first ministry is his family—his wife, Sara, and their four children, Justus, Lucas, Dylan, and Abigail. They also enjoy being foster parents to the children the Lord brings into their lives.
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The Blessing of Brokenness - Josh Morgan
Copyright © 2014 Josh Morgan.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV
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Scripture taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
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ISBN: 978-1-4908-3293-7 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4908-3295-1 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-4908-3294-4 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2014906209
WestBow Press rev. date: 03/31/2014
Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1 Is This Really Happening?
Chapter 2 I Can’t Breathe
Chapter 3 This Is Too Much
Chapter 4 Reality versus Faith
Chapter 5 So Many Questions, So Few Answers
Chapter 6 Broken In
Chapter 7 Seeking Restoration
Chapter 8 What Is the Purpose of This Trial?
Chapter 9 Broken for Destiny
Chapter 10 My Best Is Yet to Come
Notes
I want to dedicate this book to my two families. The first is my wife and our four children. Sara, you are truly a gift from God. I am so blessed to have such an amazing wife and supporter. My appreciation for you extends beyond words penned on paper. Sara and I are very blessed to have Justus, Lucas, Dylan, and Abigail. There is no greater blessing a man can ask for than to be a father to such wonderful children.
I am eternally grateful for my second family, Everlasting Covenant Church. Your love and support have and will continue to change my life. The opportunity afforded to me in being your pastor is an honor that I cherish.
Introduction
This book was written out of a broken experience. Our family was forced into the grasp of forceful brokenness through the sudden collapse of our son’s health. This journey began with what seemed to be a routine hospital visit. That simple visit quickly turned into a matter of life and death as our oldest son was placed in a coma due to uncontrollable seizures. Tragedy immediately befell on our family as we sought God for healing, restoration, and understanding. It was during this time of brokenness that God began to reveal answers to life’s most miserable questions and experiences. The sudden, violent winds of brokenness exposed the simple life we once lived.
The doctors could not say whether our son would live or die. The forced coma that lasted thirty-seven days was a trial that, at best, they hoped would work. It was during this time of radical change and what seemed to be broken dreams that God revealed Himself clearer than ever. Brokenness will lead you to a place where God seems to be silent. But it’s in that valley that you learn silence does not mean absence. Brokenness declared destruction; His promises declare destiny.
The revelation that can be obtained during a season of brokenness can bring newfound glory and hope. In the darkest valley, there is a loving God proclaiming that your best is yet to come. You will not only find a purpose to the test; you will find that God is preparing you for the beginning of a new journey that will lead you to the very heart of His presence. Brokenness is by no means easy. But sometimes it is the only vehicle that can lead you to the destination that’s been prepared for you. When all is said and done, you will shout, My best is yet to come!
1
Is This Really Happening?
In order to stop the seizures, we must intubate your son and put him into a coma. Our goal is to cause his brain to flatline, having no activity.
These were the words spoken by the doctor who placed our family on the road to brokenness. All I could think was, How did it come to this? Our oldest son, Justus, had been having seizures most of his life. A usual trip to the hospital meant that he would stay a couple of days and then leave with his medications adjusted. We soon learned that this was not the usual trip.
For the most part, his seizure activity had always been managed by the medication. Over the years, we had become very familiar with his one type of seizure and his one medication to control it. Although sometimes he had multiple seizures, we learned how to manage. Now I think of how preposterous it is for families like ours to manage these types of situations. It becomes a normal part of your life that you learn to deal with; you often don’t even think of what is sacrificed. I have a profound respect for all families that deal with a child with special needs.
Suddenly, Justus began to have multiple types of seizures, and the activity was increasing every day. Once the doctors decided to admit him, we knew that something was different this time, but we did not realize the extent to which this was true. We sat in that ICU, watching his fourteen-year-old body become frail. He had up to twenty seizures per minute, and no amount of medication seemed to help.
I am healed; I am healed in Jesus’ name. I am healed. I am healed in Jesus’ name.
There was one type of seizure that he had that prevented him from speaking and made it hard to breathe, but he could scribble words on paper. So he began to write healing Scripture and the title to his favorite song, Like a Lion.
At this juncture, it was hard to distinguish between agonizing sorrow and being proud parents.
The activity continued to increase, and our heartbreak became unbearable. I’ll never forget Sara and me sitting with the doctor as she explained as best she could that there was not much they could do. Neurology is basically trial and error,
she explained. I felt numb as I watched the tears come down Sara’s face. We both became aware that this situation was going to get much worse before it got better. As a husband and a pastor, I found myself sitting between a son and his weeping mother without words of comfort for either. I’m not really sure how to tell you what my feelings were, but I know that I thought, Is this really happening?
Like clockwork, we saw upwards of twenty seizures per minute. The routine was to watch the EEG screen and coach him to breathe each time a seizure started. Once the doctors decided that no medications were able to stop the activity, the decision was made to put him into coma. It became so severe that we looked at life and death. Do you know what that will do to a parent? Did I hear that correctly? Did you say that he could die if we don’t get this under control? Have you ever cried out, Oh my God
?
Brokenness
Broken is defined as being violently separated into parts; something that has become damaged, altered, or fractured; being irregular, interrupted, or full of obstacles; disrupted by change.
What does it mean to be broken? I asked Sara during our trial, What is the one thing you seek the most during brokenness?
Her answer was, Hope.
All days seem to be cold and cloudy without hope. Hope will give me the assurance that it will all be okay. Unfortunately, hope cannot always be found in the middle of a broken life. Brokenness brings you to a crossroad without direction. It’s like being violently kidnapped by a tsunami and being dropped in the middle of nowhere without rescue or direction.
While in brokenness, I could not think of proper words to speak. And honestly, I wasn’t interested in conversation. You find yourself