Silent Screams of a Blue Shadow

Copyright © 2011 by Jason Brown.

ISBN: Softcover    978-1-4628-6564-2

ISBN: Ebook        978-1-4628-6565-9

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302041

‘These collections of poems are dedicated to every little boy and girl,

who likes to play in the shadows of life’

Tactical Police Training (Maleoskop Farm)

‘When the eyes where starry bright’

January 1992 aged 19 years

AUTHORS NOTE

_______________________________

Intrepidly these words for you I write,

Tis sorrow, chaos and misery all wrapped up in Blue

Though darkness may try coveting the light

Society’s misfortune and grief, I’ll share with you.

Take heed of the shadows as you listen to,

My silent screams.

______________________________

For many years, I’ve sat and watched life swirl around me as I carry on my policing duties in South Africa. My mind is a perpetual scribe to what visualise around me.

We are all often caught up in our own emotional baggage that we sometimes fail to realise that others have the same feelings, thoughts and emotions.

My poetry has been described as disturbing, morbid, dark, depressing and my all time favourite, evil. Although I have often been asked to write sweet, happy in-love poetry in an effort to cover reality up in cotton wool, I rather realism be bathed in its true light and not in the shadows that we skirt around.

I have written most of my poetry from the empathic viewpoint of all types of victims of crime, society, life and emotional trauma.

I have also seen and heard about so many police officers from all over the world whose facade cracks and crumble emotionally, because of the horrors they must endure.

I have in my own small way, tried to pry open that often hidden emotion and show you the reader, the bitter aftertaste of crime and its malevolence.

It smears it grotesque tentacles on not only society as a whole but also tarnishes the police’s shiny blue armour to now a rusted relic of time gone by.

I have also tried to illustrate through my verses the traumatic abuse that some victims endure. It is not only from strangers or rogue elements of a wayward civilization, but often from cherished loved ones.

If not victims of horrific crime, the people who i see are instead laden by bureaucracy or the morose after—stench of misery and sadness whilst waiting in seemingly long queues.

Obviously with due regard to my profession, I have learned to conceal my emotions behind my Blue Mask and portray a cold unemotional facade who, like an actor acts out the role which we must play.

Of course it would be foolhardy of me in any capacity to attempt to minimize the sterling job Men in Blue do throughout the world or to in any way misconstrue any perception that policeman and woman are not passionate about their jobs and who give of their lives for the greater good of society on a whole.

So yes, I sincerely apologise on behalf of the victims I encounter and help, that their stories I put pen to paper about cannot be of happier memories but rather the underbelly of a somewhat revolting existence that we hide from and pretend does not exist.

I have decided not to categorize my poetry as I feel one should perhaps just read one poem every other day, digest it and reconnect with life knowing that we are not alone in our sufferings.

Stand tall, rise up from the agony of survival.

Jason Brown

Find or follow me on:  facebook.com/silent screams of a blue shadow

                                  twitter.com/ja20ns

CONTENTS

Cry from My Heart

Queue for Everything in Life

Agitation Behold

All Quiet Before the Storm

Anguished with Memories

Alone and Scared

Anarchy and Order

Antarctic Fury

Affairs of the Mind

Are You Ready Yet?

Au Revoir Warrant Officer

Basejumping

Bashed Down

Beam Me Up Scotty

Beginnings

Behind A Junkie Lies Desperation

Behind My Blue Mask Sits Emotion

Behind Closed Eyes

Behind the Terror

Behind those Sunday Walls

Blue Lines in the Dusk

Breaking Point

Catastrophic Aftermath

Credence Misplaced

Chaos

Children Breaking Free

Click

Contemplating Due Processes

Crime Wave

Contemplating One’s Career

Crimson Light of Blue Warriors

Daylight Shadows

Deviousness

Demons of Democracy

Did You Ever Listen to Him

Did You Know?

Do We Ever Learn?

Do You Believe in Angels?

Do You Ever Think About Dying?

Do You Really Want To?

Drenching of My Emotions

Dripping Paint

Ecstatic Maneuvers in the Morning Light

Ending of a Nightshift

Expressing Your Defeat

Fading Out into the Light

Fatality of the Ensnared

Feeling Boxed In?

Fire of Spurning

Foolish Innuendo

Forever Young

From Darkness to Light

Game of Chances

Goodbye

Heartache of a Woman

Hell is Domestic Blitz

How Ironic Was Superman?

I Am

I Am Life, I Am Everything

I Am Human, So?

If Only We Weren’t Victims

I Feel But Cannot Imagine

Indigo Talking of a Victim

I Find You Irresistible

Justifying Who Got A Life Sentence

Ibulala Cops, Ifa Cop

I’ll Stop I Promise

An Hour In My Day

Incarceration

Insipid Inspirations

I’ve Got A Fistful of Emotion

Killer in Me is the Killer in You

Kissing You Goodbye

Life As A Cop

Life can be so Lonesome

Lines Drawn in the Dust

Light Path

Lonely Road of Saddened Memories

Looking for God

Looking Out At You

In God We Pray, with the Devil We Play

Code Blue On

Empty Highways

Masking of a Masked Fool

Medication of a Fool

Men

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Mon Ange Valentine

Moment in Time

Must Someday Sorrow Sit

My Little Angels

My Confusion

My Impropriety

Office Space in Service Points

My Thoughts

N3 M13 Code Blue

Nothing’s Making Much Sense Anymore

Oh Honey, You Are Gorgeous

Little Child

Ecstasy of Misery

Pegasus Has Died

Cutting Out My Misery

Pale Grey

Pondering Thoughts We All Wonder About

Pig

Playing the Predator

Stalker on the Prowl

Pts Disorder?

Quest of the Silent Mirrors

Uncertainty I Never Want Answered

Fury

Raging Against the Tide

Raining in My Head Again

Devastated by Our Misguided Guilt

Recession

Red Tape Formalities

Rest in Peace My Brothers in Blue

Rummaging Around the Echoes

How I Wish You Were Real

Sadness Slinks Throughout

Seething At My Fury

Sixteen Candles of Silence

Stepping Stones

Section 3

Shallow Grave

Splintered Little Pieces of You

Shattering of the Pandemonium

Stillness in My Mind’s Eye

Silent Screams of Purpose

Sitting Down with You

Taking A Pew, Awaiting You

Slaughter of the Mindless

Slipping Behind Haunted Eyes

Smile

Life’s Mayhem

Here I Sit

Prayers

97 and Clear Blue Eyes

Sorry for Smacking the Life Out of You

Someone’s Daughter

Sold Your Soul

Sonnet of Confusion

Spurts of a Fool

Standing Alone in the Shadows

Sunday

Suppressing of My Mind, Soul and Rage

Surrender

Surreptitious Thoughts

Tomorrow

Too Deep

The Chest of Drawers

Tearing Away at Your Soul

The Little Blond Whore

The Choices We Make

The Dark Side of You

The Forgotten

Lights and Sounds

The Shattering of My Leave

The Thin Blue Line

The World Needs A Hero

These Walls

This Crying Shame

To Emma & Luke

Torn Broken Mirror

Tasting My Immoral Consequences

Unvalentine

What I See

Well, Here I Am . . .

Torn Edges of the Mirror

Touched by Chaos

Try Listening Some Time

Trying to Find Friends with Wings

Turmoil of Justice

Twisted Mind of the Empty Poor

Virgin Soul